Members PlayboyChris Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Granted, the family tree of sorts you just laid out above is interesting It ain't "Leave It to {censored}ing Beaver," that's for damn sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OceansBetweenUs Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 It ain't "Leave It to {censored}ing Beaver," that's for damn sure.It might be "Leave the {censored}ing to Beaver" when his son is a granddad at 30. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Slaymoar Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Very complex subject. Alot of people will just discard the issue with "kick him out and let him get a taste of real life".. And as easy and simple as it sounds, it definitely will create several problems that you might not be completely aware of yet. Yes, the goal is for him to launch by himself, but he needs the necessary tools and some form of self-motivating strategy to jumpstart it. When I hear someone talk about how much grief their child/teen gives them, I ask them how much time they spend with their kids every day. Most of the time the answers range from "uhmm..." to "I don't have time" to "my kid doesn't want to, what would we do thegether" to "I try, but my kid __________ and it never works out". Well what you need is a new strategy, something that will help both the parents and the problem child develop into a team that can actually conquer the "rut". There are several steps you can take, and several places that can give you the proper information - as well as several people/places that can give you the worst advice on the {censored}ing planet. So you have to be careful. Whatever the strategy becomes, the right strategy will end up being a positive reinforcement type with tons of time and effort going into it. Of course it is hard, and will be exhausting and hopeless at times, but then you have to think that it is your child and what you think is the healthiest and most positive life you want your child to live. Both you and your child need to be on the same page, and you need to find out about the proper parenting skills and tools to guide him to something that will be constructive to both your lives. "I've tried everything" is complete {censored}ing bull{censored} of an excuse. "I have no idea where to go from here, and here is what I have tried" is more accurate. Tons of kids nowadays are complete lazy bags, because there is a very low sense of "need for survival". Very little responsability is instilled in our kids compared to 3-4 generations ago. Too much time is allocated to leisure/entertainment, and the worst part is that the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster{censored}. Parents work, and kids are raised by their friends. This is a perfect recipe for a lazy kid that doesn't have motivation about anything else that what is related to those things, since that's what their life has turned into. -D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OceansBetweenUs Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Tons of kids nowadays are complete lazy bags, because there is a very low sense of "need for survival". Very little responsability is instilled in our kids compared to 3-4 generations ago. Too much time is allocated to leisure/entertainment, and the worst part is that the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster{censored}. Parents work, and kids are raised by their friends. This is a perfect recipe for a lazy kid that doesn't have motivation about anything else that what is related to those things, since that's what their life has turned into.-D I don't give a {censored} about raising kids because it doesn't relate to me and I hate children, but Diaz just dropped a {censored}ing knowledge bomb up in this bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JR13 Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 send him a link to this thread and tell him to shape up or he'll end up like us edit. well said, Diaz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DrakkarTyrannis Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 I don't give a {censored} about raising kids because it doesn't relate to me and I hate children, but Diaz just dropped a {censored}ing knowledge bomb up in this bitch. And for this I love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 I don't give a {censored} about raising kids because it doesn't relate to me and I hate children, but Diaz just dropped a {censored}ing knowledge bomb up in this bitch. Yep. Was just admiring it (read: cranking off to it) myself. Especially this line: the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster{censored} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OceansBetweenUs Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Yep. Was just admiring it (read: cranking off to it) myself. Especially this line:the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster{censored} It's so true though. 90% of my liesuretime communication during the week is through facebook message threads with friends, and forum browsing. ...and text messaging to warm the next vagina up for the 3-8 hours I will spend in their presence so I have to put in as little face-to-face effort as possible before we get to the deep-dicking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 It's so true though. 90% of my liesuretime communication during the week is through facebook message threads with friends, and forum browsing....and text messaging to warm the next vagina up for the 3-8 hours I will spend in their presence so I have to put in as little face-to-face effort as possible before we get to the deep-dicking. Yeah, but we're grown adults who have had it with human interaction, so we're allowed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FearTheVoices Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 My son (almost 13) was getting some bad grades for the 1st couple months of school this year, I took his phone away, xbox, ps3, wii, ipod, made him go to bed at 8:30 for the last two months. He has been getting straight A's since. Even before I took everything away the work he did he was getting A's, he was just not doing his homework and gettings ZEROS, this resulted in the A/F split which pretty much ends up being around the D+ and C's area. He's doing great now, comes home and has to sit in his room from 3 till 4:30 and just study. I'll slowly start reintroducing all his crapola shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pickinatit Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 I don't mind putting this out there. parents need to be aware and beware. Most people don't believe me when I tell them that when you boil it all down, in the end the reality is that parents are powerless, but that's ok. I put it out there and they can believe it or not to their own detriment. And everyone is an expert. ESPECIALLY folks that don't have any kids. And it's always the parents fault. Funny thing is it's exactly the blaming the parents and not accepting that the kids themselves might be responsible for their own bad behavior and choices that is a huge part of what's wrong. IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Megadeth Man Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Yeah, but we're grown adults who have had it with human interaction, so we're allowed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Most people don't believe me when I tell them that when you boil it all down, in the end the reality is that parents are powerless, but that's ok. I put it out there and they can believe it or not to their own detriment. That's because you're not to be believed. So every "good" kid out there made that choice themselves, and how they turned out had zero to do with the influence their parents had over them? Talk about believing something to your own detriment. Don't use a broad brush dipped in the paint can of your dysfunctional family to paint a picture of parents everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DoubleBarrel Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Sure you did. Absolutely. I believe every word of this post. Well, I dropped him off on my way to work, and picked him up in the evening. I didn't leave him there overnight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Norton666 Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 There are some seriously terrible posts in here. I have to assume that all the " whip his ass" and "kick his ass out of the house" comments are from people who dont have children or people who dont give a {censored} about the children they do have . A child having respect for their parent is going to go a lot farther than a child who is terrified of their parent. He is a freshman in high school. That is a seriously tough time in a kids life. Weve all been there . If you had a great experience during that period of your life , then consider yourself lucky. A lot of people didnt. Everything you know is changing . Your mind , body , friends , school(in most cases) etc. In my opinion , this situation calls for a LOT more parent/child face to face time. Treat him with respect but be a stern parent at the same time . Find out what is going on . Spend time with him. A LOT OF TIME. These are times when he needs his father the most. Whatever you have in your personal life that you feel is important right now needs to take a backseat to getting your son on the right track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grumphh Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Oh, and grumphh is an idiot. I surrender to your flawless argumentation technique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lucius Posted December 7, 2011 Members Share Posted December 7, 2011 Very complex subject. Alot of people will just discard the issue with "kick him out and let him get a taste of real life".. And as easy and simple as it sounds, it definitely will create several problems that you might not be completely aware of yet..........lazy bags, because there is a very low sense of "need for survival". Very little responsability is instilled in our kids compared to 3-4 generations ago. Too much time is allocated to leisure/entertainment, and the worst part is that the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster{censored}. Parents work, and kids are raised by their friends. This is a perfect recipe for a lazy kid that doesn't have motivation about anything else that what is related to those things, since that's what their life has turned into.-D Wow, you better post a boobie picture or people will start to take you seriously dude. Nice post. Cheers, Lucius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PDbyS Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Adding to Diaz's statement...The greatest mistake people in my parents' generation made was making it easier for us. "I don't want my kid to have as hard as we did." I've heard that countless times and it is unnerving. Those hardships is what gave you character. I grew up in the suburbs with no real cares in the world. The only concern I had was making sure the VCR taped Power Rangers. For the most part I was my greatest enemy was myself. The TL;DR version: I was a pain in my parents' ass til my dad dropped me off at a homeless shelter and I took a cab home (~15y/o). When he saw I was home he gave up. That was the start off things leveling off. When I started working full-time after graduating our interactions weren't hostile. This doesn't have much to do w/ the OPs situation because I don't know his son. Giving suggestions without knowing a person tends to not be a good idea. Every kid isn't the same. Some are good natured, but lack direction. On the other hand you can have an amoral demented troll looking to cause {censored}. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grunge782 Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Impossible for any of the arm-chair shrinks in here to determine as they weren't there. We only have your account to go on, which is at best only part of the story, though. Nonetheless, people seem to think that you can engineer your kids to be however you want, which is utter nonsense. How many of us on here turned out exactly as our parents wanted? I'm guessing nearly none. Personality is largely predetermined at birth, upbringing plays a role but cannot negate genetics. Tons of real psychology journals will back this up too. But no doubt the resident experts on HCAF know better Obviously they haven't been hitting their kids enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grunge782 Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Tons of kids nowadays are complete lazy bags, because there is a very low sense of "need for survival". Very little responsibility is instilled in our kids compared to 3-4 generations ago. Too much time is allocated to leisure/entertainment, and the worst part is that the natural human social experience is turning into a gaming/smartphone cluster-{censored}. Parents work, and kids are raised by their friends. This is a perfect recipe for a lazy kid that doesn't have motivation about anything else that what is related to those things, since that's what their life has turned into. -D Everybody taking part in this thread is doing the same thing. Even at work people waste time on their iPhones/computer. There have been studies showing even managers playing {censored}ing farmville on their devices during meetings . These new social and media entertainment technologies affect everyone, not just the young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Machine Gun Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Okay, I didn't read the whole thread, but it sounds like your son may be suffering from some sort of depression. I know most kids that age are the same way, and I was too, but usually there's something more to the story going on. Also, the tiredness in teenagers, especially boys, is quite normal - their bodies are growing and hormones are all out of whack. Don't give up on him, which I know you won't but instead, try a change in tactics. All I know is that I kept hearing I wasn't good enough, and I wasn't, but there were a lot of other things going on and yelling and criticizing me more only pushed me deeper. Because on the other hand, I also kept hearing how great I was and could be and it was quite confusing. How do you think he felt when he had to got to the Military Camp? It made him just feel more abnormal from his peers I guess. Yeah, this is totally contrary to what everyone else has said, and if my father had been alive it would have been that story and maybe it would have worked. But I'm telling you, my mother took everything away, and did everything she could, and it just made me feel like more a {censored} up. Find a positive outlet for him, and maybe you'll start to see some changes. And to be clear, I don't want to argue that a swift kick may be in order, but what was that Military Weekend? Kids are dealing with a lot more these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mesa4x12er2 Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Kids are gettin' mouthier and mouthier. Why is this? Doesn't anyone get their ass beat anymore? The mouthy kids usually get away with it with their parents; but at some point theydo it to another person their age and get an enlightening ass whipping after school. This doesn't happen anymore? I know right? My dad would {censored}in lay into me if I got too far out of line. I know I am a better man for it. It's funny when down the road they say sorry about it and you can honestly say "About what?" Sometimes we all could use a good ass beating. Glad I had someone to give me one. BTW my dad never went overboard either which is important, but I think kids should fear {censored}ing up if for no other reason than the wrath of their parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grumphh Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 Only losers hit children. Pathetic lowlife scum who haven't got the faintest clue about actually being a grown up and admitting to the fact that you are in fact responsible for your own kids actions. Being proud of being able to hit your kids is like being the school bully, and being proud that you can force the small kids to do as you wish. Wow, great achievement. Have any of you ever considered the fact that your kids might {censored} up because you have been an asshole, and that that is what they have learned from their parents? ...oh yeah, and i am being nice in my description here - i mean, spineless cowards who haven't even got the guts to at least beat the wife instead of the kid because she might fight back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mesa4x12er2 Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 How many of us on here turned out exactly as our parents wanted? I'm guessing nearly none. Personality is largely predetermined at birth, upbringing plays a role but cannot negate genetics. Tons of real psychology journals will back this up too. But no doubt the resident experts on HCAF know better I may not have turned out exactly how they wanted in terms of what I am doing with my life, however, I did become they man they had hoped I'd become. Personality =/= character. I think strong parenting does wonders for what type of character you end up with. I don't have scientific data, just real world experience. The people I know that had good parents ended up by and large becoming good people. The ones that didn't... character and virtue issues obvious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mesa4x12er2 Posted December 8, 2011 Members Share Posted December 8, 2011 ...oh yeah, and i am being nice in my description here - i mean, spineless cowards who haven't even got the guts to at least beat the wife instead of the kid because she might fight back? You are one twisted hippie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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