Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Most of you know that I am seperating from my wife. We are trying to get an anulment. If that doesn't go through then it is divorce. Iowa has no-fault divorce, which means she'll get half my assets despite the fact that she was unfaithful. I have little over in liquid assets what I owe in student loans. I'm just going to pay back all loans so most of my money goes towards something of mine (that I need to pay back anyways) instead of her pocket. However, even though she already has almost everything we had possession wise, I can easily see her mother convincing her to go after my guitars (my 1967 Gibson ES-335 in particular). If it comes to that, what legal ways could I prevent this? Could I do what Willie Nelson did to keep the IRS from getting Trigger? I'll get a lawyer if it comes to that, but free opinions never hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Raj Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Get a lawyer. Ask around first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jamesp Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 [hint] Grandma called, she wants her ES-335 back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rjoxyz Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Most of you know that I am seperating from my wife. We are trying to get an anulment. If that doesn't go through then it is divorce. Iowa has no-fault divorce, which means she'll get half my assets despite the fact that she was unfaithful. I have little over in liquid assets what I owe in student loans. I'm just going to pay back all loans so most of my money goes towards something of mine (that I need to pay back anyways) instead of her pocket.However, even though she already has almost everything we had possession wise, I can easily see her mother convincing her to go after my guitars (my 1967 Gibson ES-335 in particular). If it comes to that, what legal ways could I prevent this? Could I do what Willie Nelson did to keep the IRS from getting Trigger?I'll get a lawyer if it comes to that, but free opinions never hurt. Not sure if Iowa differs, but Michigan is also a No-Fault divorce state. Here though, if one party is found to be a substantial cause for the marital breakdown, that "fault" can be considered in rendering something other than a 50/50 property division. The difficulty is proving the marital relationship was not already destroyed by the time of the extra-marital affair, etc. Consult with a family law attorney in Iowa. Opinions, especially regarding divorce, are rarely reliable when obtained from laymen. I've heard some doozies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Not sure if Iowa differs, but Michigan is also a No-Fault divorce state. Here though, if one party is found to be a substantial cause for the marital breakdown, that "fault" can be considered in rendering something other than a 50/50 property division. The difficulty is proving the marital relationship was not already destroyed by the time of the extra-marital affair, etc.Consult with a family law attorney in Iowa. Opinions, especially regarding divorce, are rarely reliable when obtained from laymen. I've heard some doozies. It seems to me trying to prove stuff will turn into he said, she said. What she's saying is I cheated first (and I never cheated at all). But then again she has the whole version of how things are in her head, and it differs from reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TN.Frank Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Iowa? For some reason I thought you were in the UK DarkHorse. Don't know why I thought that. Anyway, you can give em' to a friend until it's all over with, have him give you, say $1 buck for each so it's a legal sale then later, you can buy em' back for $1 buck. Hope everything turns out well for ya' pard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members panhandler Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 I sold all my guitars (and spent the $ crying in my beer over you) Try collecting on that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gary Palmer Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 "Sell" it for next to nothing, retain paperwork and do not disclose the name of the "buyer". Then split proceeds equally between you and that should give you both $0.50. HIRE A LAWYER and he'll provide the best advice regarding your present situation before things go any further. It's best if you can at least try to retain equal control of the present situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with the conventional wisdom: CONTACT A LAWYER. However, even though she already has almost everything we had possession wise, I can easily see her mother convincing her to go after my guitars WTF? Don't tell me that she's still living at your place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Iowa? For some reason I thought you were in the UK DarkHorse. Don't know why I thought that. Funny, I am actually part British (my grandmother is British and married an American aircraft engineer during WWII). But born and raised in Iowa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gary Palmer Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with the conventional wisdom: CONTACT A LAWYER. WTF? Don't tell me that she's still living at your place. If that's the situation, I'd carefully pack her belongings into a case, take both sets of baggage to the boyfriend and tell him to deal with it. They made their own bed and can sleep in it. The above technique worked with my first wife and we divorced on the grounds of her adultery, with costs awarded against both guilty parties and I kept the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 WTF? Don't tell me that she's still living at your place. No she is not. However, she still has a key I'm trying to get back. Her name is still on lease, and landlord won't take it off unless she signs something first. Landlord also won't change locks unless she okays it because she is still on lease. Reason she has pretty much everything else is her and her mom came over when I was at work and took almost everything. My most important and valuable stuff was safe because I put it in the closet and moved the 15 year old RCA console tv in front of the door. Not even together could they move that thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kimona Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Unfortunately, you MUST hire a lawyer if you want to protect yourself. Period. Don't wait. Do it now. Get your guitars out of your house now. "Sell" them to someone... and they can no longer be included in your assets. When all is said and done, "buy" your guitars back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missedmyexit Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 No she is not. However, she still has a key I'm trying to get back. Her name is still on lease, and landlord won't take it off unless she signs something first. Landlord also won't change locks unless she okays it because she is still on lease. Reason she has pretty much everything else is her and her mom came over when I was at work and took almost everything.My most important and valuable stuff was safe because I put it in the closet and moved the 15 year old RCA console tv in front of the door. Not even together could they move that thing. Pay half the rent. When he starts looking for the other half tell him to go get it from the wife or change the locks and take her off the lease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missedmyexit Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Another thing I thought of. So you play live anywhere for any money? If you don't start doing so now. Play a coffee shop for 10bucks. Pretty sure most states won't take away your means of making a living. She can't take the car you drive to work in so if you are a paid musicians she shouldn't be able to take your guitars. Keep in mind all legal advice from me should be considered wrong until proven right but it's something to ask about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Queequeg Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with the conventional wisdom: CONTACT A LAWYER. No doubt.with all due respect, your soon-to-be ex-wife sounds totally whacked.and with all due respect, your judgment leading up to this is a bit suspect, so you need someone, older, responsible and trustworthy to get you through this.Sorry if you find my comments insulting. I don't mean them that way. If you don't have an attorney you are going to get hurt above and beyond what the legal fees will run you. Hiding your assets through some bogus sale when uncovered will only serve to bias the judge's opinion against you. You have enough going against you already from the looks of things.Good luck, DarkHorseJ27. Sincerely, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mjuenem Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Change the lock yourself. You only have to do the door she holds the key for. You can get an inexpensive lockset changeout at Home Depot for about $15. It just changes the guts to the lock, no altering of lock or doorframe needed. Simple fix - only takes a philips screwdriver. Let her keep HER key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhancox Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 I'd be wary of the "sell the guitars" advice. Given that the sale would have occurred during this time of turmoil, it could be proven that you did it to limit her share of the "asset". It goes without saying that you should protect your possessions, but I would think that when a judge looks at what she's got (no matter how she obtained it) and what you've got (left), if you're both agreeable to the split of possessions, then your guitars are yours. At the same time, they do need to remain in your possession. You could go so far as to claim she just came in one day and took whatever she wanted, but like you said, it would be a he said she said sort of deal. If you can live with the possession split as it sits right now, then protect what you've got and make sure you assert that the split is not 50-50 but that as long as you get to keep what you have, you're cool with it. I offer this advice because of some asset laws when it comes to things like Medicaid paying for a nursing home. You can't just give your savings away when you apply for assistance because they'll go back over a period of time and find you had a large bank balance and then it was gone. And saying you gave it to your kids doesn't work. I know it's not the same thing as divorce, but I can see a parallel where you guys file for divorce and then you sell your possessions that are worth, say $1000, for only a couple of bucks. If it were proven that you knew it was all worth $1000, then you could still be liable for giving her $500, even though you only collected $2. You might get your guitars back, but it will cost you $500, and that's not a desirable outcome. Bottom line is, you don't want to give anyone any reason to believe you are being fraudulent. The more you can prove you are being above board while all the while there is plenty of speculation, and even some evidence, that she is not, the better your odds of keeping what you currently possess, if not actually get something else back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guildfire Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 What I can offer is this: Document everything. Document her actions and words and what she has taken with specific dates. For example if she busted into your place when you were gone that time, write down in a notebook the date, what she took, any damage, etc. Keep this log of key information for your lawyer to review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiteop Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Simply take your guitars and hide them. Dont' bring up that you are fearful of her taking them or she'll ask for them just to be spiteful. Keep everything generic in the decree if you're the one that filed, except for the home, vehicles, and credit card debts. That needs to be specified for both parties involved. I seriously doubt she would take the time to hire an attorney and file a motion for contempt of court if you didn't hand over your guitars. All they would do is file a Writ of Sequestration and have a deputy show up at your door to take them. If he does just tell him that you sold them before the decree was drawn up. Not trying to tell you to be dishonest but the court system doesn't exactly use emotion to decide things and is generic and unemotional making decisions that impact lives without having to feel the consequences. When the same thing happens to the judges later when they get a divorce they become a little more sympathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krash Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Man up, my friend, or you'll lose what little you have left. 1. GET A {censored}ING LAWYER 2. Change the locks yourself, give the landlord a key. If your lease prevents you from doing so, squeeze some epoxy into the locks, and tell the landlord your wife vandalized them. 3. If you choose your friends the same way you chose your wife, don't involve them in this mess. Rent a closet at a self storage place, put your guitars and anything else worth saving in there, and PAY CASH. 4. GET A {censored}ING LAWYER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Can't offer anything beyond "get a lawyer." Other than that, sorry to hear about your situation. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dave W. Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Couple of things: One, the courts don't care about who done who wrong when it comes to the monetary settlement. This is not a soap opera to them, just accounting business. No insult intended, I know your feelings are raw, but it is the truth. Two, If you bought it after you were married it is community property and will probably be split 50/50 by the courts unless it was a gift from someone direct to you. If you had it coming into the marriage it is yours. If she gets a lawyer and you don't you could be paying maintenance (alimony) for some time. This is no time to be cheap unless the two of you can mediate this. Look into a professional mediation service if she will go along. I paid good money to learn this. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members boxorox Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 Lawyer up. Yesterday. Divorce is very jurisdictional and advice from any of us may not apply to your situation. For instance, if you have been served (or if you have not) the "$1.00 straw sale" may be seen as "wastage of marital assests". Destruction or disposition may be considered malicious, and the item will be assessed by the court at it's market value at the time of separation. Ask the lawyer what are marital assets. In my state anything you owned outright before the marriage, anything rec'd as a personal gift or through inheritance is YOURS and not subject to distribution. Proof (That means proof) of adultery will not help as far as M.Ass't are concerned, but in my state it eliminates the other parties right to recieve alimony. In my state the court is not obliged to split assets 50-50. The split is supposed to be equitible. Her earning power, ongoing living expenses,pesonal assets etc. can be taken into consideration and weighed against yours. Lord knows what the judge will decide. Protecting Your Personal Property- Things you can do yourself: Relocate it to a secure place. That's best. Second, put a deadbolt and possibly an exterior type security door on a small room/large closet so your stuff is separate and secure. Tell her if she wishes to inspect the area shemay do so at a prearranged time when you have a witness. Shar can't then claim you unlawfully denied her access. What you need a Lawyer to do: File a restraining order specifying no "wasting and disposal" of assets, that she may not enter the dwelling without making prior arrangements with you (see witnesses, above), and that she may only remove her own personal property. If possible it should state she has one opportunity to do this, specify date, time, time on site (2 hours should be plenty), and that she submit written permission to the landlord for the locks to be changed. Some of this may be beyond what a restraining order can do, and a court order may be necessary. But you need a lawyer bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rjoxyz Posted February 25, 2009 Members Share Posted February 25, 2009 It seems to me trying to prove stuff will turn into he said, she said. What she's saying is I cheated first (and I never cheated at all). But then again she has the whole version of how things are in her head, and it differs from reality. That's why we have judges. With all due respect to the other posters, you are getting some bad advice here, other than the suggestion to seek legal counsel. Again, if Iowa is like Michigan, you can't just deplete assets for "pennies" in anticipation of divorce. She could be awarded other assets to make up her share of what was "pissed away" in terms of marital property. Then you end up losing more property in addition to what was lost on "liquidation". Moreover, it is not likely Iowa law allows you to keep her out of the marital home without court order. Get your advice from a licensed family law attorney in your jurisdiction!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.