Members Sheik_Yerbouti Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 It's times like these that should really make you appreciate the lovely wife & kids, they are the reason for and source of the strength that will see you through all the tough times that life has to dish out. Mojo sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cibyl Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Mojo sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members isvoid Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 So sorry to hear this Lucious. I've tried to rewrite the following so it doesn't sound preachy but alas, it still does, so forgive my poor writing skills, and hear only the heartfelt concern it represents ... You're a smart man for recognizing you can draw strength from the fact you need to be strong and present for your kids and family. Just remember to take care of yourself first. Sounds selfish but it isn't. If you're not well you won't be able to fulfill that mandate of being there for the kids and family. I've just seen a lot of folks, predominantly guys, who try to put up this front of "it's not affecting me, I'm strong, and I'll be the rock for my family" only to break, and break hard because they fail to acknowledge and confront their own grief. We're not like women, we're not programmed to deal with our emotions like women. While women seem to go to pieces with all the crying and stuff they are actually processing their grief real time and recover from it faster.We tend to put all that stuff in a box, shove it to the back of the closet "I'll deal with this later, I've got to be there for my family right now". Seams practical but it doesn't work, because we either have the illusion we're fine or simply forget, and don't do the house keeping part of dealing with the {censored} in the box. The net result is that we end up with a huge room of unprocessed grief we're totally disassociated from that affects us like an undertow rather than something immediate, tangible, surficial. For guys it frequently manifests itself as varying degrees of inexplicable depression, flat lined emotions and social withdrawal.How to not do this? Talk to people who are pros at dealing with this stuff, grief counselors. Be it thru a local church or thru work, whatever is available to you. Maybe it's just a really wise sage in your own family.Not wishing to write a novel I'll cap it here. Hope it's helpful.Sincere prayers and mojo on its way from Calgary. Be well man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GregMan Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 wow - thats a bunch of bad {censored} at one time. hang in there, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Digital Jams Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 I am sorry to hear about your loses the past severel weeks, indeed it is a test of your manhood as well your mental strength to endore these troubling times. You need to make time to think about the lost ones in your life in order to continue with your life, let it all rush out now so that you can continue with your life as you have responsibilities that need your attention. A man with family does not fold, he presses on by continuing his role as mentor, provider, and shoulder to lean on. Your children will be the product of your strong reserve, be that rock that they have come to depend on. Mojo sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members K-Bizzle Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 wow sorry to hear man. Its easy to be weak and lose it in these situations, just stay strong and you'll be better for it once the immediacy has passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sandman31774 Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 prayers sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mogwai Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Mojo sent... stay strong for the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cap'n Ahole Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Mojo sent.. sorry to hear about all the crap man.. Just hang in there & itll eventually smooth out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thenakedarab Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 To be able to deal with all that takes strength man, and to not get absorbed in your own suffering and think about how you can be stronger for those you love speaks volumes about you as a person Lucious. I would send you my mojo, but if you can already do that you don't need it, you've already got the mojo bank right there in your heart. There's not much I could say that you haven't obviously acknowledged and confronted already. I've been through loss at the holidays myself, and know how hard it is, and would only say that as the year goes on, and you approach the anniversaries of their passing the sadness will gradually be replaced by the warm memories and love you were able to share with them. I'm sorry for all the loss your family has had to endure, especially at this time of the year, and hope your children are dealing with it ok. With you there for them I'm sure they'll be ok, and learn the right lessons from this trial. Keep your head up, and give and get as much love as you can while you're here man, because as you know, chaos or fate can come and take it from you at any moment. Cheers to you Lucious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Li10 Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 holy {censored}, it's not been a good year for you man. mojo!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members seajay Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Mojo sent, Lucius. That is a lot to deal with in such a short time. The time of year doesn't help either. On the other hand, it seems like deaths in the family happen in threes (at least in my family). Hopefully nobody else will pass away for a long time so you can concentrate on mourning, healing, & carrying on.If you take the approach you mentioned of thinking about your wife & sons, you'll be alright. Just don't forget to think about yourself, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grayeyes777 Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 mojo man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members noizemakr73 Posted December 28, 2008 Members Share Posted December 28, 2008 Mojo sent, hang in there bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members demondestroyer Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 Man,thats really really tough.Im very sorry to hear about all this.I will pray for you and your family.Try to stay strong brother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bob Savage Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 Hang tight old friend. As much as it stinks to say it, life does have a lot of suck in it and unfortunately you're encountering a lot of it within a short time span. You've got the right perspective. Do what's right for your children, wife and yourself... hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tws! Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 Lucius, bro I saw your facebook status and I was going to send you a message but I didn't want to be inappropriate. I wasn't sure if you would take it well or just think I'm a creeper. Keep your head up, man, and show your kids that life goes on and you can be strong. Nothing can replace your parents and I feel for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hecticone Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 Sorry to hear it. I lost 6 people this summer it sucks. It will get better with time. But everybody has their own schedule.Theres nothing to be ashamed of if you get in touch with a grief counselor. Good luck and God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bigdaddyd Posted December 29, 2008 Members Share Posted December 29, 2008 mojo sent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rushtallica Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Wow, is all I can say. As some of you know, my uncle was murdered a couple weeks ago. Well, I've been really stressed out over the last little while. Being stressed has put a strain on my marriage, which is completely my fault..every little thing bugs me and I have no patience. I've talked with my lovely wife and have worked things out....Anyways, my wifes grandfather passed away on Dec. 24th..We were in Winterpeg for the funeral on the 26th. That morning I get a call from my sister saying my mother has taken a turn for the worse (C.O.P.D). I flew to Regina and got into town around 1:20Am. Well she died this morning around 9:20AM surrounded by family/friends. This is my birth mother who I actually didn't meet until I was about 16 years old. Over the last 15 years or so, I've been getting to know her very well. Anyways, I am about at the end of my rope and am trying to hold on and keep things together. Through this time of need I think of my awesome wife, and my two little boys. Life is unfair but I'll keep my head up and know that {censored} happens for a reason. I will be a postive role model for my children!. Anyways, thanks people. It seems weird but I feel I do have a couple of friends here (whom,i've never met) that can rally when a fellow member is having trouble. Cheers, Lucius I did't catch this thread initially but looked it up after your current one about quitting your band. I am very sorry to hear what all has happened. You're right about life being pretty unfair at times, but I'm glad to see you have the right attitude regarding putting your family first. Everyone's situations are a little different, but I can at least relate in some ways and feel bad for you right now. At least you were able to get to know your birth mother well over a good period of time. I wish you the best and hope the time you spend with your family helps all of you in healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chakosh Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Based on his other posts on this forum, if anyone is able to handle this type of emotional stress, it's Lucius. You're a good guy, Lucius, and I know you'll come out on top. Too bad you had to quit your band, but focus on the important stuff like you're doing and you'll be fine. We love you, Lucius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dmtnt Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Wow, hang in there man, tough times. Mojo sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dicky sofa Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Lucius, that's a lot of stressful events in a short period of time. It's perfectly natural to feel over whelmed by it all. Talk with people about it, don't keep it bottled in. In short, mojo sent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members '63-Strat Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Geez... mojo sent, Lucius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ron Burgandy Posted January 14, 2009 Members Share Posted January 14, 2009 Very sorry to hear this, but you have an amazing attitude in regards to your children. You're a good guy, Lucius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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