Members ermghoti II Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 "Put your hands up, and don't turn around. Now, squeal like a pig." :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members axepilot Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 "We have a PA"..................bar owner with a 4 channel, 100 watt powered mixer and two blown 12" speakers. "Why do guys need more than 4 outlets?" "No 4x12 cabinets in this bar! They're too loud!" "Free Bird!" "Can I come up and sing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GreenAsJade Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 "Can you play it again? PLEEEEEAAAAASE?!?!" I'd love someone to ask me that! :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members badhabit Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Bar owner to band leader, " Come back tomorrow at ten and I'll have your check ready". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tucktronix Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 I often get this question asked of me. "Are you the bass player?" Seems that folks automatically assume that I play bass. I guess it's probably a black thing. Part of it may be that I often get confused with a black bass player that plays with us every once in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members benagain Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Years ago, I was moving and had to leave the band I'd been playing with for several years (I play keyboards, in case that wasn't evident). They hired a young guy to replace me, and he came out to a gig to get a feel for what we did. At our first break, he came up to me and said, "Gee, you play a lot with your left hand." Later I heard the guy would sample whole sections of songs, rather than learn to play them... hahahahi played w a bass player in a blues band .. he bought a f..kin looper pedal so he could loop his bass while he sings !! he didnt understand why i thought that was cheese .. he later sold it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GCDEF Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 OK so I owe you guys 300 dollars and you boys drank 500 dollars worth of beer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Munch606 Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 "Can you play __________?""We just played that""Can you play it again? PLEEEEEAAAAASE?!?!" That's CLOSE to how it goes with us but it's usually more like: Them - "Do you know how to play _________"?Us -"We just did."Them - (confused look)"You did?"Us -(To each other)"Scratch that off the setlist" Anyone in Ohio has heard THIS dreadful quote - "Hang On Sloopy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flemtone Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Them - "Do you know how to play _________"? Us -"We just did." Them - (confused look)"You did?" Us -(To each other)"Scratch that off the setlist" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fastplant Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Just tell them the date, time and location of your next gig and when in the set you'll be playing it. Hahaha, we always tell them to come see us again if they want to hear it, but try reasoning with someone like that. You can't. They just beg more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members newmaxnew Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 My wife is the bass player in my current band. However being female she is often asked if she is the singer or asked why she doesn't sing. Not every woman in the world has a good singing voice. Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hamer_Time Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 My wife is the bass player im my current band. However being female she is often asked if she is the singer or asked why she doesn't sing. Not every woman in the world has a good singing voice. Max That's cool.....I would love to see more female instrumentalists in bands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bones Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Was rolling in my gear at a divebar gig last winter when I heard someone say, "Hey, you got more gear than my gynecologist!" Looked up and saw she looked a lot like Dawg The Bounty Hunter. Decided to just keep my mouth shut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ski219 Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Do you guys just make that stuff up? You boys know Red House? I'm a performer too... (usually spoken by a drunk middle aged woman who was in a dance recital 30 years ago.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkwire Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 There's a song called 'Play Something We Know' by a singer-songwriter named Adam Hood. It's very obvious that Mr. Hood has traveled the same roads as many of us: I saw you walk in here with that guitar in your hand I thought I might ask you what you might be playin' Just one more question Well, I know you gotta go Me and my friends aren't drinkin' We're just wonderin' if you know Any Lynyrd Skynyrd? Or American Pie? Willie and Waylon? Magic Carpet Ride? How 'bout Marshall Tucker? Or David Allan Coe? Play somethin' we could sing to Play somethin' we know. Well I know how it is, dude I used to have me a band But our drummer, Ronnie, he got on down at the plant. Our singer got a girlfriend well you know how that goes So play somethin' we could sing to Play somethin' we know Do you know any Buffett? Or any Pink Floyd? How about some 'Dead, dude? How about the Doors? Do you know any Beatles? Or any Rolling Stones? Play somethin' we could sing to Play somethin' we know Man if you want me to I'll sing a song with you I used to sing the high part My brother Donny is sittin' at the bar He plays a mean guitar What are you lookin' at man? You don't want me to play? Well, you bout to get your ass whooped, You keep lookin' at me that way Man I don't really mean it, There's no need to call security. I was only hopin' that you'd sing a song for me. Do you know Hank Jr.? Or any any Steve Earle? How about the Joker? Or Brown Eyed Girl? Sweet Home Alabama? Or Curtis Lowe? Play somethin' we could sing to Play somethin' we know. How bout some Neil Young? Man, play some Whiskey River, man. Play somethin' we know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 While holding my bass: "How come your guitar only has four strings?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tucktronix Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Oh, here's my favorite... A few patrons that had walked in 10 min before the end of the gig acting surprised when we tell them that this is the last song. "C'mon, play some more!":rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matter-Eater Lad Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 I hate when people come to me, pretty much a side man, rather than any of the front people when asking for a song or dedication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tucktronix Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Here's another... At the end of gig, while we are packing up, some folks walking in asking us, "are you guys done?":mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nobody Told Me Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Heard these from an outdoor event organizer last weekend: "Do we need to unhook the pickup from the stage?" "None of the other bands have ever asked for more than one outlet.""Since you got rained out and your gear is soaked, which bar do you want to move in to to finish the night?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Outkaster Posted July 3, 2008 Author Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 I wish BlueStrat would post some. I bet he has some good ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 At an outdoor bike-night gig, huge stage, 250+ people...."You're not gonna be too loud? They like to park the bikes right in front of the stage and talk about em." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members moogerfooger Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 can you play something we can dance to ? r Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 our Promoter for the classic heavy rock band:"You might want to play your dance songs in the 2nd set, that's when they'll be eating dinner" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members godisasniper Posted July 3, 2008 Members Share Posted July 3, 2008 Thanks for those lyrics, Funkwire...they pretty much sum up anything I could say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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