Members DevilRaysFan Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 circa 1990 - guy walks up to the piano player who also played harmonica. Piano player had several in different keys on his piano "Man, can I use your harp to jam with you guys?" ......he shouldve just asked him to use his toothbrush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TieDyedDevil Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 One of my favorites: "Hey, I play guitar too!" (In Portland, that's pretty much a given Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Agitator Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 "Play something normal!" (shouted by a group of little kids at an outdoor concert) "Is that a real song or did you write it?" (credit Jack Lawrence) "Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?" (when said by the drummer) EDIT: One thing people say all the time that really rubs me the wrong way: "You guys looked like you were having fun up there." Anyone else get this? I know it's meant to be some sort of compliment, but I'd rather if they said "You guys played some really good music up there." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TieDyedDevil Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 Hmmm.Was it a big coffee house?Because most acoustic gigs I've seen at those joints didn't need any electricity. Just voice and guitar should be enough.Just sayin'. Pretty big for a coffeehouse, yeah. Maybe 30 by 40 feet. High ceilings. And it wasn't a singer/songwriter gig. Solo improv guitar. Electric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 Pretty big for a coffeehouse, yeah. Maybe 30 by 40 feet. High ceilings. And it wasn't a singer/songwriter gig. Solo improv guitar. Electric. Ah. Yeah, it's kinda hard to sing over an electric guitar without some kind of amplification. Ever considered running your vox through your guitar amp? Would work in a pinch, and all you'd need would be a small mixer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rob_Rocks Posted January 10, 2011 Members Share Posted January 10, 2011 "Dude, let me see yer mic!" Uttered by some drunk guy that wants to give his buddy a shout-out for his birthday. "No, I don't want your drunken slobber all over my $800 mic. I have to sing through that all night". "Hey, you should hire me to sing backups for you guys. I'm really good." Said by a drunk chick between sets. "Sure, we wouldn't mind splitting the $$ one extra way...so, do you help haul gear as well?...that's what I thought". "Hey, do you guys know that one song by that guy with long, dark hair? He was just on T.V. a few nights ago"... "Play something we can two-step to!" By a drunk cowboy. We are a classic rock band, and don't play ANY country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KeysBear Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 Last week had a guy come up to me (keyboards) and asked for American Pie. I told him to fill the tip jar to the top with bills. He said come on man I want to hear it. I told him he won the award for the dumbest ass request ever made. He laughed and said thanks because that was what he wanted to hear me say and walked away happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hegmatronicon Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 EDIT: One thing people say all the time that really rubs me the wrong way:"You guys looked like you were having fun up there."Anyone else get this? I know it's meant to be some sort of compliment, but I'd rather if they said "You guys played some really good music up there." It's usually said in place of a compliment when you cant think of anything else nice to say. IE - when a mate asks you what you thought of his band and they are beyond terrible - but you dont want to hurt his feelings. You'd say "you guys looked like you were having a great time up there". or something similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JohnMCA72 Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 ..."You guys looked like you were having fun up there."Anyone else get this? I know it's meant to be some sort of compliment, but I'd rather if they said "You guys played some really good music up there." Most people don't know squat about music, but they can recognize fun when they see it. Personally, I take it with a grain of salt when a non-musician complements me on my musicianship. I will thank them graciously, but don't really take anything they say on the subject seriously. Now, if they say they had fun, then I'm happy 'cause it's Mission Accomplished! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bignasty006 Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 The first 2 are my favorites. They come from my parents: "I say you don't need anything else until you start making money with your music" "If yours works fine, why do you need another one?" Misc."Do yall play anything that doesn't scream?""Why does he scream in every song?""Does he have to scream so loud?"...YES!"Can yall turn down a little bit?""OK, That was perfect, can yall just move your equipment about 10ft forward? - Eventually we were in damp grass in pitch black darkness; my dad was taking pics with some sort of uber flash on. Thought I was going to have seizure.1/2 of the band: "As long as we look cool doing it and people like watching us, I don't care how we sound"^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ fml :mad::mad::mad:At that point I realized why we only got shows playing in the grass at people's "HOUSE" parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 11, 2011 Moderators Share Posted January 11, 2011 Producer: Hey, stop for a second. Hey, you know that really cool sound you were just making with your effects and the feeback?" Guitarist: Yeah-yeah!!! Producer: Yeah, well... when I hit RECORD, stop doing that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Howie22 Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 Last week had a guy come up to me (keyboards) and asked for American Pie. I told him to fill the tip jar to the top with bills. He said come on man I want to hear it. I told him he won the award for the dumbest ass request ever made. He laughed and said thanks because that was what he wanted to hear me say and walked away happy. Okay, he made a request, you insulted him, and he walked away happy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Agitator Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 Okay, he made a request, you insulted him, and he walked away happy? Maybe he had made a bet with his friend that there was no way in hell that so keyboardist was going to play "American Pie". Or maybe it was this guy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 EDIT: One thing people say all the time that really rubs me the wrong way: "You guys looked like you were having fun up there." Anyone else get this? I know it's meant to be some sort of compliment, but I'd rather if they said "You guys played some really good music up there." It seems sort of negative to take it that way, when I hear that it doesn't seem any better or worse than "You guys did a good job" And for that matter, saying something like "You guys played some really good music up there." could also be taken the wrong way by somebody with low self esteem, like "Gee, they said we played really good music but didn't say we played it well. I guess we suck" Now that I think about it there is very little I can hear any more that can rub me the wrong way since I tend to not put much stock in what people say any more. They vote with their presence or lack thereof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 If they're talking to you at all, that's a good thing. Drunks say the damnedest things anyway, so I just humor em all and move on to whatever it was I was looking to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Agitator Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 If they're talking to you at all, that's a good thing. Drunks say the damnedest things anyway, so I just humor em all and move on to whatever it was I was looking to do. That's the best advice. Smile, nod, and do whatever you were going to do anyway. "Yeah, yeah, man. Have it tattooed on your arm and come back and show me later." -- Jerry Garcia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jamieb Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 "You're almost as good as Eric Clapton." Back handed compliment? Or worse; "You're almost as good as Eric Clampton." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members atomicgarden Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 That's the best advice. Smile, nod, and do whatever you were going to do anyway. "Yeah, yeah, man. Have it tattooed on your arm and come back and show me later." -- Jerry Garcia back in highschool my ska band was playing a midday show in a downtown festival when some fellow stumbled by and started yelling "Play some blues! play some f***ing BLOOOZ!" We just suggested it was perhaps a bit early to be so drunk, and went back to our setlist. It was actually the most memorable part of a pretty boring and under promoted show. A week before at a huge all day battle of the bands our harder punk/hardcore/metalish/etc band opened while our ska band closed. After our first set some middle school girls came up to us and said"we didn't like your music, it was too angry. You should play happier music.""Well then you might like our ska band that's playing later!""We wont be here."Refreshingly blunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Agitator Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 Ah, show biz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mutha Goose Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 > Said to my girlfriend: "I'm gonna take the guitarist home tonight..." (I found it funny. She didn't!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members srspud Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 Worse thing I ever heard was, "on the ground hands behind your back." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khem1cal Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 I'm from so-so agency, we're gonna make you famous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members timrocker Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 I used to get some real winners around the Portland, OR area. One Friday we were in a place that was trying us out for the first time. It had a little bit of a rough clientele. They even kind of liked to intimidate you for sport. I was setting up my stuff, and this guy comes over to me and says: " I know already you guys aren't going to go over in this place. Because your guitars are too clean." It just occurred to me that there's a comeback. "Oh, they won't be by the end of the night." Dang! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members onelife Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 "Your band is pretty good but nobody's drinking so I can't hire you back" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members juliebee Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 "So your in a band?" "Can you do thing thing where you swing the guitar around your body?" "Can smash your guitar?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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