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How old are you?

Hoddy

By Hoddy
in Acoustic Guitars

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Opa John Newbie

Opa John

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Poppy, I'm older than the hills of Kentucky! I think I'm even two years older than Freeman.

 

I was looking at the poll results. The percentage of members over 50 (that voted) on this forum is right at 60% now.

 

Now leave me alone........it's past my nap time!

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Chordchunker Newbie

Chordchunker

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I was born about ten thousand years ago,

And there's nothin' in the world that I don't know;

I saw Peter, Paul and Moses,

Playing ring-around-the-roses

And I'll whup the guy what says it isn't so.

 

I saw Satan when he looked the garden o'er,

Then saw Adam and Eve driven from the door,

And behind the bushes peeping,

Saw the apple they were eating,,

And I'll swear that I'm the guy what ate the core.

 

I saw Jonah when he'mbarked within the whale,

And thought that he'd never live to tell the tale.

But old Jonah'd eaten garlic

And he gave the whale a colic,

So he coughed him up and let him out o' jail.

 

I saw Samson when he laid the village cold,

And saw Daniel tame the lions in the hold,

And helped build the tower of Babel,

Up as high as they were able,

And there's lots of other things I haven't told.

 

I taught Solomon his little A-B-C's

I helped Brigham Young to make Limburger cheese,

And while sailing down the bay

With Methuselah one day,

I saved his flowing whiskers from the breeze.

 

Queen Elizabeth, she fell in love with me.

We were married in Milwaukee secretly,

But I schemed around and shook her,

And went off with General Hooker

To shoot mosquitoes down in Tennessee.

 

I remember when the country had a king.

I saw Cleopatra pawn her wedding ring,

And I saw the flags a-flyin'

When George Washington stopped lyin',

On the night when Patti first began to sing.

 

I was there to help old Noah load the ark,

And I sheared off Samson's hair just for a lark.

So I upped and ran away

To the good ol' USA,

Where I raced old Pocahontas in the dark.

 

In the boudoir with dear Empress Josephine,

When Napoleon was nowhere to be seen,

It was then I played my part

So much better than Bonaparte;

Well, I guess you know exactly what I mean.

 

I was in the garden when Eve made love to me;

I sent Cleopatra back to Antony;

I was there with Pompadour

When she said, "Toujours l'amour."

I took Julia's clothes off on the balcony.

 

I designed the pyramids along the Nile;

I was friendly with the Pharoahs for awhile,

'Til they caught me playin' rummy

With an old Egyptian mummy;

That's why the Sphinx has got that famous smile.

 

I taught William the Conqueror how to fight,

And I snuffed out Florence Nightingale's light;

And Robin Hood was carryin' on,

For I was with Maid Marian on

The bed that I hid under for the night.

 

You can stop me if you've heard this one before

'Bout the apple too delicious to ignore

Adam said to Eve: "We're cheating,

if that apple we start eating!

I came by and I'm the guy what ate the core

 

Old King Solomon was very wise, they claim

With a thousand wives, he knew them all by name

That's because I used to list 'em -

With my alphabetic system

In my little book - each time he took a dame

 

Isabella sent Columbus with a crew

On a little trip across the ocean blue

But to me she said: "Hey, fella,

you stay here with Isabella"

I'm the stowaway of fourteen ninety two

 

I was on the shore with Washington, I swear

When he tossed a coin across the Delaware

But nobody has believed it,

when I tell 'em I retrieved it

And I bought me boots, they cost a buck a pair

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