Why did you quit playing guitar?

[Ponec]

I am interested to see if anyone else has dealt with this kind of problem...

 

I have suffered from a mild form of chronic depression all my adult life (I am 41 now). This depression extends to my guitar playing in that I get very depressed when I take stock of my abilities compared to how long I've been playing (about 25 years) and how much time and resources that I have put into it.

 

Roughly six months ago there were a couple of traumatic/catastrophic events in my life that pushed the general depression to an all time low. About a month into this depression a couple of old friends of mine invited me out to see Sonny Landreth at a local venue. This guy is flat out phenomenal. I would rate him one of if not the best guitar player on the circuit today.

 

Upon watching Landreth up close I have become so despondent with my own playing that I find it very difficult to even pick up my guitar and play. I am trying to work through this. I even set up a new guitar forum on my server to keep grounded in the guitar world and to try and re-light a fire under my playing. (Time for a shameless plug - go to http://www.theguitarcave.com/phpbb2/index.php to check it out.)

 

Anyone else dealt with this or is dealing with this type of problem?

 

I'd like to hear about it.

 

-Ron

[chiro972]

I got married and quit the band I was in 25 years ago. I sold my 335 and got into other things. I am trying to learn again and it's much harder than when I was young. I regret all the time I could have been improving, but I'm having fun with it now.

[Country Junkie]

This topic reminds me of something........

 

[orourke]

Depression has been a problem for me but I never quit playing. In fact I seem to fall frighteningly deeper into guitar playing as I get older and more miserable. I used to like to do other things.... ride bike, work out, go to movies, travel. Now all I want to do is write songs, play with my band, and jam with whoever is around. I'm 48 so there is no chance of "making it", but I'm compeled to persue my music none the less. It's a weird thing where I seem to be running away from myself and falling in to this deep self-involvement.

 

I think I'm over-sharing. .

 

BTW, nice looking forum

[d_dave_c]

I'm similar to Chiro - my last band broke up about 10 years ago, I got married, went back to grad school, had kids. For a while all my guitars were in storage, so I ended up selling almost all my gear. I kept one acoustic and one electric. I started playing again about a year ago, and when my then two-year-old son knocked my acoustic into the electric and put a big gash in it, I decided to get a cheap beater to play on until the kids got older. Now I can leave my SX out and who cares what happens to it. The finish is so thick, I don't think the kids could hurt it if they tried.

 

Also like Chiro, the progress is slow going. I don't pick up my guitar as much as I want, so I don't end up learning much knew stuff. I kinda play the same old thing over and over.

[Ponec]

orourke - You have pretty much described my playing experience up to this point so I understand completely.

 

d_dave_c - Also, same kind of story here. Got married, had a few kids, quit hanging with the band members, pretty much left guitars in their cases for 10 years. Got back into it eight years ago and as you said, "the progress is slow going". I only really get to play after the wife and kids have gone to bed. I find myself doing the same thing over and over as I do some minor pentatonic wanking to warm up. Then by the time I warm up, it is time that I need to go to bed. Very frustrating.

 

Keep 'em comin' guys. I find this VERY interesting if not a little therapeutic.

 

-Ron

 

BTW orourke - Thanks for the compliment on the forum. I am hoping to attract a good crowd to it.

[bgmacaw]

I've 'quit' twice.

 

The first time was when I was a Senior in college and decided to get my life squared away and join the Marines as an officer. Any time I wasn't sleeping or studying I was working out, running, or something along those lines. I didn't pick up guitar again for about 5 years, after I had gone off active duty and gotten a civilian job.

 

The second time was in '93 when I had to concentrate on improving my job skills. I was also frustrated and slightly depressed at the time because I had collected some nice gear and had to some of it off to pay bills. I started playing again in '97 when things had turned around economically for me and, when I found the predecessor of this forum, I developed serious GAS.

 

In the last couple of years, I've had to cut back some on my playing due to the demands of career and family but I've tried to stick with playing as much as I can.

[I'm A Coal Man]

When I found out I was better at buying guitars and visiting Harmony Central Forums:)

[dan-o-guitar]

I'm 41 and have been playing on and off since I was 13. One would think that with those impessive numbers, I would have ended up a pretty good player. Until spring of this year, that wasn't the case.

 

I'd pick up the guitar occaisionally, maybe play for a week or so, then give it up for a few months. I never learned much beyond ten or 20 patterns/licks and I'd just noodle on the for a while.

 

Since February however, I can't wait to play and usually get at least an hour in every day. I truly enjoy playing now--it is one of the most positive and rewarding parts of my day.

 

Recently, I tried to figure out what had changed. I thought about it for a while and realized that it is much more fulfilliing to be me--in other words when I sit back and reflect on my playing, or listen to recordings I'm working on, it's apparent that I've subconciously given up trying to play like someone else.

 

I think as guitarists, we are exposed to so much talent through recordings and live acts, that we end up setting that level of playing or accomplishment as our goal. We want someone else's tone. We want to master someone else's songs. All in all, the subconscious shift I've made is to just play what comes from my brain and my heart.

 

Is my playing good? I don't know, but it sure makes me happy. It's kind of liberating to realize that you can play guitar just for you, not for how others think you should play. And that realization brings a renewed level of self-confidence along with it.

 

The bottom line is: you are already a great guitar player. Because you are unique.

 

Music is not a competitive sport--don't be suckered into comparing your playing to others.

 

Guitar will set you free.

[ChrisGansz]

I suffer a bipolar disorder that had debilitated me for the longest time. Got meds and counseling. Used my 31 years of talents as part of my therapy. I have been in bands that did very well although I didn't really rely on being in a band to enjoy or improve on my abilities as a musician. If I get stuck in a rut with the material that I am playing, I break out a cd and listen to something new and emulate what I hear on a cd. Usually the gratification of learning something new, even if it took weeks, was good. Always had a relationship that life didn't take every moment away from my playing, be it 15 minutes a day or a couple of hours a day.

[Raymar]

I'm a 48 year old self-absorbed guitarist, only I've taken it a step further, I'm not in a band or jamming with others. About 15 years back after I'd gotten into synths my creative road went into ambient music and I wasn't able to apply my guitar skills into that genre as easily as with synths so the guitar took a back seat about ten years ago.

 

About three to four years ago I discovered the TV show Becker in reruns on KDOC and what caught my ear was the blues guitar playing in the theme tune and appears in the show sparingly. So I

pulled my Charvel strat out and noodled with it just doing bluesy

riffing while surfing the internet for a year, then I received a POD

2.3 for a birthday present a couple years back and that thing

compelled the rock guitarist back out of me because it does that

so damn good! It also does the Carlton, Scofield, Holdsworth thing too, not to mention any kind of jazz or blues sound and its cool with a slide as well, its very addictive. I even managed to do a semi-bluesy ambient tune called(plug) "Lost in Decision" finding a place for guitar in my ambient musings. The guitar/POD combo are also good for abstract sounds and sound design too that can show up as samples in synth patches. Lets just say you won't find me on a golf course, tennis court, or in a bowling alley.

 

 

Steve

[ZenFly]

Never quit except for 2 weeks in the 42 years I've been playing. Even when I wasn't a guitarist in the band I was in (I was fronting) I still picked it up to write songs and relax.

 

I also like experimenting with synths and ambient music, and am combining ambient with noise and traditional music. lots of fun.

 

But for me guitar is where it starts then drums, bass, more guitar, vocals etc. (actually it starts with a song idea that comes out on the guitar...)

[M.Aly]

postural scoliosis....lateral muscle imbalance....excruciating pain... couldn't walk for 3 month....and couldn't even sleep of pain... it was due to over 20 years of playing guitar

Edited February 9, 2021 by M.Aly

[u6crash]

Broken limbs have kept me from it a couple times. There have been other times where I just didn't find the time.

At the beginning of 2020 a musical friend of mind asked me to open for him at a small show at a local brewery. It was the first time in ten years I had played in front of people and it demanded I put some practice in. Playing that show ignited something in me again.

Then lockdown happened and at one point with two weeks off and nowhere to go I started playing live mini-sets online. I played more guitar in 2020 than I had in the previous 2-3 years combined.

In October Jack White played "Ball and Biscuit" on SNL and I decided I was going to learn how to play it once and for all. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm close.

SImilarly to OP, I'm 40 and have been playing for 25 years, but it sure doesn't sound like I've been playing that long. I think it was Teddy Roosevelt who said, "Comparisson is the thief of joy." I can do some almost impressive things on a guitar, but sometimes it feels most fun to relax and play E and A back in forth covering Wreckless Eric's "Whole Wide World".

 

....and I just realized how old the first post was. Oh well. I'm hitting reply anyway in case these words help someone else.

[Hoot Owl]

I quit because my girlfriend moved in. Then we got married. Then we had kids.

Big mistake (not the kids).

[humbuckerstrat]

I’ve been playing since 1972 when I was 19 and never really did stop. My progress has been very slow going, tho.

[daytony]

I played guitar since I was 14. I am now 41. Came home to find my wall hanger had slipped out of my wall, causing my Ibanez to fall directly into my dresser, gouging the front of a formerly pristine guitar. At that point, I had already contemplated quitting all together. I hadnt played in seven months. Reason being, every material object, or meaningful activity in my life that has given me joy, has been completey ruined, or taken from me for reasons beyond my control. 100% of the time. My closest refer to me as (paraphrasing) "The unluckiest person to ever exist".  Picked up my guitar one day, inspired to learn a new Pearl Jam song. Learned it. The next day, my once beautiful guitar is {censored}ed. And, at that moment, guitars, and music really, meant nothing to me. Just like that. I was no longer passionate about something I spent doing every minute I possibly could for 27 years. All my guitars are put away. No reminders of them left. Thinking back, I only started playing because I wanted to be a rock star. And I was one of those kids who was dumb enough to believe their parents and teachers when they said,"All you need is a dream and to work hard!" Lol. Good times. Anyhoo, logically, it was nothing more than a gigantic waste of a large chunk of my life that got me nowhere and nothing. That about answer it? Lol

[daddymack]

16 hours ago, daytony said:

I played guitar since I was 14. I am now 41. Came home to find my wall hanger had slipped out of my wall, causing my Ibanez to fall directly into my dresser, gouging the front of a formerly pristine guitar. At that point, I had already contemplated quitting all together. I hadnt played in seven months. Reason being, every material object, or meaningful activity in my life that has given me joy, has been completey ruined, or taken from me for reasons beyond my control. 100% of the time. My closest refer to me as (paraphrasing) "The unluckiest person to ever exist".  Picked up my guitar one day, inspired to learn a new Pearl Jam song. Learned it. The next day, my once beautiful guitar is {censored}ed. And, at that moment, guitars, and music really, meant nothing to me. Just like that. I was no longer passionate about something I spent doing every minute I possibly could for 27 years. All my guitars are put away. No reminders of them left. Thinking back, I only started playing because I wanted to be a rock star. And I was one of those kids who was dumb enough to believe their parents and teachers when they said,"All you need is a dream and to work hard!" Lol. Good times. Anyhoo, logically, it was nothing more than a gigantic waste of a large chunk of my life that got me nowhere and nothing. That about answer it? Lol

If you really cared about your guitar, it would have been safe in its case, not precariously left hanging on a wall [who installed the wall hanger? Think about that before you blame 'luck']...especially with your personal self-image of being "The unluckiest person to ever exist".  I'm just saying...if you believe that, then you should be a heck of a lot more careful about your stuff.

I would guess more than 95% of guitar players started because it looked like being a rock star was cool. But if you never developed a deep and abiding love for music and your instrument, then I feel terribly sad for you.

I've  had my gear stolen, and I didn't give up. I've had gear damaged on gigs, and I didn't quit. I'm still doing it, after over 50 years.

Accept the blame for the incident, and move on...guitars are the tools, not the muse....

[E-money]

16 hours ago, daytony said:

I played guitar since I was 14. I am now 41. Came home to find my wall hanger had slipped out of my wall, causing my Ibanez to fall directly into my dresser, gouging the front of a formerly pristine guitar. At that point, I had already contemplated quitting all together. I hadnt played in seven months. Reason being, every material object, or meaningful activity in my life that has given me joy, has been completey ruined, or taken from me for reasons beyond my control. 100% of the time. My closest refer to me as (paraphrasing) "The unluckiest person to ever exist".  Picked up my guitar one day, inspired to learn a new Pearl Jam song. Learned it. The next day, my once beautiful guitar is {censored}ed. And, at that moment, guitars, and music really, meant nothing to me. Just like that. I was no longer passionate about something I spent doing every minute I possibly could for 27 years. All my guitars are put away. No reminders of them left. Thinking back, I only started playing because I wanted to be a rock star. And I was one of those kids who was dumb enough to believe their parents and teachers when they said,"All you need is a dream and to work hard!" Lol. Good times. Anyhoo, logically, it was nothing more than a gigantic waste of a large chunk of my life that got me nowhere and nothing. That about answer it? Lol

This saddens me; you are obviously going through a tough time.

Your story is one of the reasons I only own cheap guitars.

I think counseling might be able to help with your emotional state and there are more free/cheap ways to get help nowadays.

I also recommend The Weekend Jam that Anton does on the Political Party message board here are HCPP as a fun weekly outlet.  For me, it's been a great way to continue my musical evolution.

Sending positive karma your way daytony.

[Emory]

I'm a 73 year old geezer, started playing when I was 15 due to the Beatles (but I don't hold that against them....). Been depressed most of my life like OP. Guitar helped thru high school... quit when I was 27... unsure why... maybe not getting any better, could have used a new amp...

In 1998 I was out on stress disability.... had an old git in basement, took it out and what da ya know.... only thing that didn't seem to hurt my brain.

I have gotten better since picking up guitar again, but that is not a primary objective. I consider guitar first and foremost therapy for me. In spite of buying lots of gits etc, I still reckon cheaper than going to a shrink & just as effective. And I'm sticking to that!

[Ritzy]

Wow a topic that was started when I was 44yo, I've got to get in on this

I started lessons when I was 12 and have never really given up. In the mid 90's I nearly gave it up but a guy I knew wanted to borrow a guitar. I still had one and it kick started my interest again. I kept up my ability to play during that era by playing Johnny B. Goode and Stairway To Heaven

[badpenguin]

Let's see... who said I quit? Started playing guitar (badly) and bass (pretty decently) some 42 years ago. Switched to guitar primarily due to hitting a serious plateau on bass, and started developing arthritis so 20 years ago. Haven't played live in a number of years and don't miss it. (Amps have gotten HEAVIER as I grow older.) Still play guitar since i love the instrument. Never had rock star plans, so I missed out on that kind of depression.