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HCAF Confessional


Scott K

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This is one of those "you had to be there" things, but just try to imagine this...

 

Ok, so we had this teacher in 9th grade Geometry... she was a COMPLETE BITCH. Old, fat, bitter, and just mean.

 

She was one of those teachers who was absolutely obsessed with the overhead projector, and used it for EVERYTHING.

 

Well, one day we got some of those strong ass 2 ton epoxy, and epoxied 2 quarters right in the middle of the glass of the projector.

 

She turned it on, and just went APE {censored}.

 

She spent the entire class trying to pry these things off, and got so worked up she was literally in tears.

 

It didn't end there. I'll tell you right now that epoxy is an amazing thing.

 

We ended up putting quarters on the floor with it as well (she was horribly OCD about the floors being clean).

 

She would walk by, see a quarter, and kick at it with her shoes.

 

The time she would spend kicking these cemented down quarter was mind boggling.

 

She quit at the end of that year. ;[

 

I think it was because we epoxied her purse to the ceiling. :(

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Oh...here's a regret confession. After dating this one girl for about a month (she is now my ex), we were in Nag's Head, NC with another couple doing a mini vacation thing. Anyways, one morning I started joking around about how I had been in tons of threesomes (I really hadn't ever...I was just messing with her), and she suggests that she and I {censored} the other girl that was was with us. I told her no because I thought we might have a good thing and didn't want to screw anything up with a threesome. The other girl would have been cool with it I'm sure, even though her boyfriend was there too. Years later she cheated on me and we broke up. Seriously that is one of my biggest regrets. Had a threesome with 2 hot ass chicks straight up offered to me and I turned it down! {censored}...I would have been ok with the other dude joining in for a real {censored}ing party even. Now I have a rule that if any girl I'm dating wants to do a threesome, I will say yes. Why? Well because if she wants a threesome then she's a slut anyways and that's not the kind of girl I would want to do the long term thing with, so I might as well.
:love:



DoubleBarrel Fail :poke:

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This is one of those "you had to be there" things, but just try to imagine this...


Ok, so we had this teacher in 9th grade Geometry... she was a COMPLETE BITCH. Old, fat, bitter, and just mean.


She was one of those teachers who was absolutely obsessed with the overhead projector, and used it for EVERYTHING.


Well, one day we got some of those strong ass 2 ton epoxy, and epoxied 2 quarters right in the middle of the glass of the projector.


She turned it on, and just went APE {censored}.


She spent the entire glass trying to pry these things off, and got so worked up she was literally in tears.


It didn't end there. I'll tell you right now that epoxy is an amazing thing.


We ended up putting quarters on the floor with it as well (she was horribly OCD about the floors being clean).


She would walk by, see a quarter, and kick at it with her shoes.


The time she would spend kicking these cemented down quarter was mind boggling.


She quit at the end of that year. ;[


I think it was because we epoxied her purse to the ceiling.
:(



Haha...a few friends and I were also responsible for a teacher quitting after only a year. I feel bad about it now...she was really nice and we made her cry a lot. Highschoolers are so cruel.

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Oooooooh, yeah. You'll be smacking yourself in the head over that one for the rest of your life. :)

Oh...here's a regret confession. After dating this one girl for about a month (she is now my ex), we were in Nag's Head, NC with another couple doing a mini vacation thing. Anyways, one morning I started joking around about how I had been in tons of threesomes (I really hadn't ever...I was just messing with her), and she suggests that she and I {censored} the other girl that was was with us. I told her no because I thought we might have a good thing and didn't want to screw anything up with a threesome. The other girl would have been cool with it I'm sure, even though her boyfriend was there too. Years later she cheated on me and we broke up. Seriously that is one of my biggest regrets. Had a threesome with 2 hot ass chicks straight up offered to me and I turned it down! {censored}...I would have been ok with the other dude joining in for a real {censored}ing party even. Now I have a rule that if any girl I'm dating wants to do a threesome, I will say yes. Why? Well because if she wants a threesome then she's a slut anyways and that's not the kind of girl I would want to do the long term thing with, so I might as well.
:love:

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Not really a confession, but my wife has this hottie friend who keeps "threatening" to have s3x with my wife when I'm not around. I have on numerous occasions not only agreed but encouraged this type of thing, while only asking for a measly video or pictures as recompense.

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Haha...a few friends and I were also responsible for a teacher quitting after only a year. I feel bad about it now...she was really nice and we made her cry a lot. Highschoolers are so cruel.

 

It's sickening how {censored}ed up we were in HS.

 

There was a group of nasty skank chicks that we were sort of "at war" with.

 

All of my buds and I were skaters, and our cliques just clashed constantly.

 

Well, one day a bud of ours had one of those cardboard poster holders. The real thick heavy cardboard rolls.

 

So we say to him, "Walk over and hit Lindsay in the face with it" not thinking he would do it.

 

Well, he grabs it, walks over to her, slams it into her face, and casually walks back.

 

It was one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen.

 

She literally collapsed to the ground and blood was GUSHING from her mouth and nose. He broke like 4 of her teeth and her nose.

 

I think he's in jail now.

 

Dunno.

 

:eek:

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Haha...a few friends and I were also responsible for a teacher quitting after only a year. I feel bad about it now...she was really nice and we made her cry a lot. Highschoolers are so cruel.

 

 

I don't remember much specifically what we did to our teacher, but he lost his hair in 8th grade and had a heart attack. The next year he had all of his hair back.

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OK this is pretty pedestrian compared to what else has transpired here since my last post but I have another wallet story. I was working as a host at the Hard Rock in Chicago on a busy Saturday night. I was combing the upstairs looking for open tables when out of the corner of my eye I spot a wallet on the floor. It was one of those huge businessman wallets about the size of those leather folders nice restaurants use to bring you your check. Without even breaking stride I scooped that sumbitch up like a fumbled football and high-tailed it down the back stairs, through the kitchen and out the back door to the dumpsters. I immediately grabbed the wad of cash that was in it, stuffed it in my pocket, tossed the wallet and the rest of the contents into the trash compactor and hit the activate button. I didn't count it until after my shift was over and I was off the premises, when I discovered that I had around a grand in $20 bills.

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OK this is pretty pedestrian compared to what else has transpired here since my last post but I have another wallet story. I was working as a host at the Hard Rock in Chicago on a busy Saturday night. I was combing the upstairs looking for open tables when out of the corner of my eye I spot a wallet on the floor. It was one of those huge businessman wallets about the size of those leather folders nice restaurants use to bring you your check. Without even breaking stride I scooped that sumbitch up like a fumbled football and high-tailed it down the back stairs, through the kitchen and out the back door to the dumpsters. I immediately grabbed the wad of cash that was in it, stuffed it in my pocket, tossed the wallet and the rest of the contents into the trash compactor and hit the activate button. I didn't count it until after my shift was over and I was off the premises, when I discovered that I had around a grand in $20 bills.



LUCKY! :idea:

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at a u of m football game i had to piss so bad i just pissed on the person in front of me

 

 

At the Pontiac Silverdome during a Detroit Lions game I was in the last row of the lower bowl and had to piss so bad I just stood up, turned around and pissed on the back wall of a concession stand while the game was going on behind me.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Brilliant.
:lol:
:lol:

 

that was the first of the two times in my life i pissed on someone. while i was at put-in-bay(middle bass island in lake erie), some dude kept talkin to me while i was takin a leak, so i turned, answered and pissed on him. he just wouldn't shut the {censored} up.:mad:

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At the Pontiac Silverdome during a Detroit Lions game I was in the last row of the lower bowl and had to piss so bad I just stood up, turned around and pissed on the back wall of a concession stand while the game was going on behind me.



:lol:

Ive pissed just about everywhere at this point.

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I was in my early 20s, and late one drunken night, a buddy and I went to get money from the ATM. It was the only one for miles, and when we found it was out-of-order, we were morally outraged! How DARE the ATM be out of order when we want to party?!

 

So since we'd both been drinking a lot, and we both had to piss, we just went on the sidewalk in front of the ATM. So my buddy, mid-piss, just aims upward and start urinating all over the ATM.

 

About the same time, I had finished up and had it back in my pants. Just as he's REALLY getting going on the ATM, a cop car pulls up and catches him in the act.

 

Since the cops hadn't seen me even "urinating in public", I was let go. His evening didn't turn out to be so much fun.

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My neighbors have adopted this practice of banging on the ceiling and floor (depending on which neighbors) whenever I make the slightest noise, even though they feel just fine about dropping {censored} all over the place and having their tv loud enough for me to hear at 3am.

 

My standard practice is usually to drop a guitar pedal on the floor or throw shoes at the ceiling when this happens. Well they did it one night constantly and I was making no noise whatsoever, so when I got drunk later that night I saved it all up and pissed all over their door/door mat.

 

They deserved it, apparently I can't even fart in this apartment without pissing someone off.

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See, my take on it is, there were ID and credit cards in the wallet. If I left it, the next sonofabitch who found it could have caused all sorts of havoc for the guy. I did him a favor.


Yeah yeah, I could have just turned it in to the campus cops or something. Screw that. I was broke.

 

 

 

 

I would have let you have the damn cash...just give me my {censored}ing cards/ID/pics and {censored} back.

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Reminds me of once when my ex passed out drunk durin' n00kie. I tried to stick it in her bum. That did not work out in my favor.





:cop:

Can't seem to get my wife quite drunk enough. You're in a tough spot, sorta speakin. Cause at some point you HAVE to try....and you're kinda waiting for either the entry pop or :mad::cop:

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:cop:

Can't seem to get my wife quite drunk enough. You're in a tough spot, sorta speakin. Cause at some point you HAVE to try....and you're kinda waiting for either the entry pop or
:mad::cop:

 

Whoa totally wrong post response there... Edited out.

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Several years ago, I toured across the country with a band. Most nights, we would stay over at someone's house so as not to ring up too much of a bill. One of the guys in the band, who was staying with me at this particular house, was an ex-satanic high priest. He had cuts on his arms from rituals he did that made people drink his drained blood mixed with his urine, etc. Some pretty far out there stuff. As part of these rituals, he did a lot of sacrifice and torturing of cats. Since he had stopped practicing, he walked away with a huge dislike of cats. In fact, he was really rather afraid of them. Now this man is about 6'6" and 300 + pounds. Not really a weakling. That night, we settled into the house we were staying at. We were in separate beds in the boys' room and left the door cracked. In the middle of the night, he woke me up in a loud, panicked whisper. Apparently, the people in the house had a cat that they did not tell him about. While he was sleeping, the cat snuck into the room and jumped onto his stomach. He woke up with the cat staring at his face. He freaked out and swung his arm around, smashing the cat into the wall. He had killed the cat and didn't know what to do. Really quietly, we snuck into the garage and put the cat behind the back tire of the host's car. The next morning, as we were leaving, the car rolled over a "bump." The family got out of the house and the wife started tearing the man a new one for running over their cat. As far as they know to this day, their cat met its destiny with Goodyear.

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