Members Neilrocks25 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 OK I posted this a few years ago on here and got ROASTED for it, so what the hell, here it is again: In college I was taking a dump in the men's room at the Communication Arts & Sciences building. On the floor near the base of the commode I noticed a wallet; almost certainly it had fallen out of the pocket of the previous person when his pants were down around his ankles. I picked it up, pocketed all the cash that was in it (about $100 if I recall correctly) and flushed the wallet down the toilet (and it went down too; this was one of those toilets with a flush like a nuclear blast). OK, let me have it. Your gonna burn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members In Absentia Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 OK I posted this a few years ago on here and got ROASTED for it, so what the hell, here it is again:In college I was taking a dump in the men's room at the Communication Arts & Sciences building. On the floor near the base of the commode I noticed a wallet; almost certainly it had fallen out of the pocket of the previous person when his pants were down around his ankles. I picked it up, pocketed all the cash that was in it (about $100 if I recall correctly) and flushed the wallet down the toilet (and it went down too; this was one of those toilets with a flush like a nuclear blast).OK, let me have it. That sucks. You could have left the wallet, lol. Pretty funny, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BOOGIE666 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 I like to blow up camp fires:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 That sucks. You could have left the wallet, lol.Pretty funny, though. See, my take on it is, there were ID and credit cards in the wallet. If I left it, the next sonofabitch who found it could have caused all sorts of havoc for the guy. I did him a favor. Yeah yeah, I could have just turned it in to the campus cops or something. Screw that. I was broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scott K Posted January 25, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 See, my take on it is, there were ID and credit cards in the wallet. If I left it, the next sonofabitch who found it could have caused all sorts of havoc for the guy. I did him a favor.Yeah yeah, I could have just turned it in to the campus cops or something. Screw that. I was broke. ...and you never know what campus cops would do. The people who worked in our mail room at college would steal all the cards our families would send us for holidays with cash in them. Jerks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mseriously30 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 In college, (the "brown days" as I call it...not quite black out drunk...) a buddy and I got into an argument about how many people it would take to flip over a small car. I said 4 good sized dudes, he insisted on at least 6. So, on the way home we just happen to be 4 good sized dudes and we roll up on curb waiting to cross and I see a honda civic hatch back parked in an alley. I convinced them to at least give it a try. Needless to say, we flipped that car on it's top. Then we went home and kicked my Mazda a lot just to even out the bad karma. {censored}ing meathead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members yourguitarhero Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 I saw my sister in law naked on my wedding night. Yeah, you're just gonna have to stay behind after class and tell that story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Weathered Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 In college, (the "brown days" as I call it...not quite black out drunk...) a buddy and I got into an argument about how many people it would take to flip over a small car. I said 4 good sized dudes, he insisted on at least 6. So, on the way home we just happen to be 4 good sized dudes and we roll up on curb waiting to cross and I see a honda civic hatch back parked in an alley. I convinced them to at least give it a try. Needless to say, we flipped that car on it's top. Then we went home and kicked my Mazda a lot just to even out the bad karma. {censored}ing meathead. Epic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Man I got a ton of these, and it's gonna be a slow day at work, so I'm gonna cleanse myself completely: Coming home drunk from a college party I walked past a parked car with its driver's side window rolled down. I pissed what felt like a several gallons of urine all over the driver's seat, steering wheel and dashboard. More to come .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scott K Posted January 25, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 In college, (the "brown days" as I call it...not quite black out drunk...) a buddy and I got into an argument about how many people it would take to flip over a small car. I said 4 good sized dudes, he insisted on at least 6. So, on the way home we just happen to be 4 good sized dudes and we roll up on curb waiting to cross and I see a honda civic hatch back parked in an alley. I convinced them to at least give it a try. Needless to say, we flipped that car on it's top. Then we went home and kicked my Mazda a lot just to even out the bad karma. {censored}ing meathead. Damn... Imagine the person walking out so see his/her car like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Weathered Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Man I got a ton of these, and it's gonna be a slow day at work, so I'm gonna cleanse myself completely: Coming home drunk from a college party I walked past a parked car with its driver's side window rolled down. I pissed what felt like a several gallons of urine all over the driver's seat, steering wheel and dashboard. More to come .... Again, epic. I pissed on a girl I know's driver's side door handle on her car when she was at a show to watch my band. It felt dirty but oh so right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members duncan Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 one time when me and a couple buddies were out wandering around (we were pretty {censored}ing drunk, well, actually, i'd call it "keith richards drunk"), we broke into an apartment building by my house. from there, we stole all the fire alarm bells off the first floor and all of the fire extinguishers. then we went out into the parking lot and preceded to throw a fire bell through a car window and fill the car with fire extinguisher stuff (it was the yellow dust stuff). and i mean we FILLED it. (we had like 6 fire extinguishers) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 one time when me and a couple buddies were out wandering around (we were pretty {censored}ing drunk, well, actually, i'd call it "keith richards drunk"), we broke into an apartment building by my house. from there, we stole all the fire alarm bells off the first floor and all of the fire extinguishers.then we went out into the parking lot and preceded to throw a fire bell through a car window and fill the car with fire extinguisher stuff (it was the yellow dust stuff).and i mean we FILLED it. (we had like 6 fire extinguishers) HAHAHA awesome! This is gonna be a great day, thanks to this thread ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mseriously30 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 A lot of these seem to be drunk stories that we don't want out??? This one is buried deep in the depths of my mind... I'm at the bar, {censored}ty, and drunk. I have to #2. I'm not far from home, so I decide to sprint back home for some serious relief. On the way home, I hit a pot hole and fall. Well...the blow to my stomach when I fell was just too much. I shat myself. So, I stand up frantically and think.....{censored} it. I just let it all fly, piss, {censored}, fart. After I'm done I strip all of my clothes off to just my boxers and run home. I can't imagine the person that found that massacre of socks, shoes, shirt and pants on the sidewalk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thefyn Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 I was staggering home from my ex's house stinking drunk. While peeing in a side street, I shat myself when I farted. I took my trousers off, wiped with my boxers and threw it on a washing line in the garden next to me. Complete fluke it landed on it. Sagging nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thefyn Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 A lot of these seem to be drunk stories that we don't want out???This one is buried deep in the depths of my mind...I'm at the bar, {censored}ty, and drunk. I have to #2. I'm not far from home, so I decide to sprint back home for some serious relief. On the way home, I hit a pot hole and fall. Well...the blow to my stomach when I fell was just too much. I shat myself. So, I stand up frantically and think.....{censored} it. I just let it all fly, piss, {censored}, fart. After I'm done I strip all of my clothes off to just my boxers and run home.I can't imagine the person that found that massacre of socks, shoes, shirt and pants on the sidewalk. Lol you beat me to the punch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ENdtime Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Well not quite a confession, since I think its funny.. BUt on one night after a plenty of Jager (The one drink that really has my number, I dont remember many nights after Jager) I came home, apparently opened my wifes closet in our bedroom and proceeded to piss all over her clothes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sex Panther Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Congrats on an Epic thread Scott!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neilrocks25 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Man I got a ton of these, and it's gonna be a slow day at work, so I'm gonna cleanse myself completely: Coming home drunk from a college party I walked past a parked car with its driver's side window rolled down. I pissed what felt like a several gallons of urine all over the driver's seat, steering wheel and dashboard. More to come .... You do play boy shoots stop complaining Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mseriously30 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Lol you beat me to the punch! HAHAHAHAHA!!! This is hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members duncan Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Well not quite a confession, since I think its funny..BUt on one night after a plenty of Jager (The one drink that really has my number, I dont remember many nights after Jager) I came home, apparently opened my wifes closet in our bedroom and proceeded to piss all over her clothes.. omfg. win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win win sauce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chakosh Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Perfectly sober confession: When we were having the car troubles (round 1) with that a$$h@t who charged us $300 for storing my wife's car at his shop and not doing any work on it for 8 months, he wouldn't let us use the cashier's check made out to his business as payment. So I went to the bank and cashed the check into $100 bills and put them in the crack of my a$$. I hadn't showered yet that day, and taken a reeeeeally nasty dump that morning (you know the type - you know you NEED a shower afterwards). I drove around for another 15 minutes with the $300 in the crack of my a$$ and then gave it to the jerk and got my wife's car back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neilrocks25 Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 Yeah, you're just gonna have to stay behind after class and tell that story. My wife was pregnant.... alcohol... and thats all I am saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Weathered Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 My wife was pregnant.... alcohol... and thats all I am saying Well, they all look like siblings to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members In Absentia Posted January 25, 2008 Members Share Posted January 25, 2008 I was staggering home from my ex's house stinking drunk. While peeing in a side street, I shat myself when I farted.I took my trousers off, wiped with my boxers and threw it on a washing line in the garden next to me. Complete fluke it landed on it. Sagging nice. When I was in Caniva (I wish I could change my SN), we used to build these bastardized land luges. They were stupid fast and we just raced them up and down streets. Well, one night we had been drinking way too much (my lead singer jumped off his house into the biggest bush I've ever seen and it took us an hour at least to get him out). So we decide to go out and land luge. I get on the board and start down the hill. I see head lights and quickly dive off the road. When I got up, I found out that I had {censored} myself. That was the longest car ride home I've ever seen. Another time we were drinking at work (lead singer owned the business and it was after hours), we were detailing this guy's $750 RV (more like a luxury bus), and we decided to take it for a spin. We took it into a trailer park to visit a friend and just laid on the air horn. People were ready to lynch us. The worst thing was that we couldn't get it out of the trailer park without backing up and the alarm thing was going off. We ended up getting it stuck in the trailer park for about 30 more attempts at getting out. Customer never found out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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