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HCAF Confessional


Scott K

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Well not quite a confession, since I think its funny..


BUt on one night after a plenty of Jager (The one drink that really has my number, I dont remember many nights after Jager) I came home, apparently opened my wifes closet in our bedroom and proceeded to piss all over her clothes..

 

 

one time, completely sober, while taking a piss in my friends coat closet (long story) his mom came downstairs and i just pretended to be rifling through coats looking for something while i finished the job.

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I had an ex kiss a friend of mine while at a party, she confessed (only after he told me about it), so I told her it was all good, then proceeded to {censored} her sister and best friend repeatedly over the 5 years we were together.

My band opened for Drowning Pool on their first tour, and I got a blowjob from the guitarists (c.j.) girlfriend while they were onstage, some friends of mine busted us, which didn't hinder the finish, afterwards we all got a big laugh when he walked of stage and kissed her........I didnt know who she was with before hand. :lol: no telling who she was with before, hence only a blowjob :thu:

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One of my best friends in high school used to come by all the time with his girlfriend. She was really hot, had a great personality, the whole package...

She came by my house one day, expecting him to be there. I tell her he isn't there -- she seems surprised, so I invite her in, assuming he'll be by shortly. She's there for all of five minutes when the phone rings. I answer it on speaker -- it's my friend/her boyfriend. Before I even get a chance to say "your girlfriend is here" and/or "you're on speaker", dumbass just starts in on this blow by blow story of how he just {censored}ed the hell out of his ex.

At this point, I look over at her -- she's white as a sheet. I grabbed the phone, taking it off speaker phone, and I don't know what to say -- I'm just saying "yeah" and "Really?" as he rambles.

As I'm sitting there, trying to figure my way out of this -- she plops down on her knees in front of me and starts unbuttoning my pants. At first, I'm freaking out, slapping her hands away... but she flips the bird at the phone, mouthing the words "{censored} him".

I couldn't argue with that logic.

She proceeded to give me an insanely good blowjob while I'm listening to this moron tell me of his sexcapade.

He's already finished his story, and is waiting for me to answer whatever question he just asked -- I'm floating off the couch in a dreamstate as this chick is working me like she's hurting for a hit and I'm the only dealer with a stash.

He hangs up -- I finish -- she gets up, kisses me on the cheek, and leaves.

Two days later, they show up together -- I'm freaking out, but she's acting coy, like nothing ever happened. I'm nervous as hell -- he's a close friend, I'm afraid he'll kill me, etc.

We smoke a bowl, and she tells him she's out of cigarettes. I offer her one of mine, she makes an excuse "I only smoke lights"... She starts making with the pouty lips, asking him to go to the store for her. I throw a $20 on the table, offering to pay for snacks. He takes me up on it, heads out, and she stays behind -- she says, "I need to call my mom".

He kisses her -- says "be right back", and he's gone.

As soon as the car starts in the driveway, she pulls my junk out and starts working it. She produces a condom out of nowhere like a damn magician, pulls her shorts to the side and jumps on like I'm a wooden horse on a carousel. I didn't last long. This girls was so freakin' hot, and I felt like a badass. The whole scene was thick with the fog of "I can't {censored}ing believe this is happening".

So, just as I finish, he pulls up. She jumps off and heads for the bathroom. I zip up, condom still on, and start spraying Lysol like he's gonna bloodhound our scent and catch wise.

He comes in, and I {censored} you not, the first thing he says to me -- "why the {censored} are you sweating? It's freezing in here!"

They broke up like two weeks later. I never saw her again.

We're still friends, though. I was the best man at his wedding a few years ago.

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observed that the male was swaying

back and forth as he was standing. The male produced

an ID that identified him as Crazy Ryan. Officer

told Ryan to stay out of the streets or else he

would be taken to the alcohol recovery center. During

the contact, Ryan continually told Office to

f#ck off and that he was allowed to be drunk. Ryan used the word "f#ck" before, and in many of his

statements. Ryan began to walk east on Walnut

away from Officer. Officer said that he did not yet

get his ID back. Ryan responded, "F#ck you I

don't give a f#ck." Officer yelled to Ryan that

his ID would be impounded if he ever wanted it again.


Officer got into her vehicle and began to drive away,

eastbound on Walnut. All of the sudden, Ryan

jumped into the street again in front of the car and

Officer slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting him.

Ryan was once again giving the finger and yelling

something. Officer requested a cover officer and

recontacted Ryan. Officer explained that Ryan would be taken to the ARC and if he resisted at

all he would go to jail instead. Ryan responded

"F#ck you, I'm not going to either." Officer told

Ryan to turn around and put his hands behind his

back. Ryan took of running east on the sidewalk,

only to fall onto the concrete after 10 ft. Officer

then attempted to roll Ryan over onto his stomach

to handcuff him. Ryan began to kick and

tightened up his arms. He swung with one arm nearly

hitting Officer. Officer told Ryan to stop

resisting. Ryan continually said such things as,

"F#ck you, you g@y b!tch, I'm not going anywhere" and

"My dad is a cop and this is police brutality." Two

more officers arrived and assisted in cuffing Ryan.

On the way to the jail, Ryan made statements such

as: "You are a c#ck sucking wh#re, you f#cking

b!tch," "Your mom sucks 10 c#cks a day." "When I

find out who you are I'm going to kill you, you

f#cking b#tch." "You are a c#ck sucking lesbian

wh#re." "If I had a gun right now I would f#cking

kill you." Ryan screamed and cursed the whole

ride. When Officer told Ryan that his language

was offensive and warned him that he could be charged

with use of fighting words, Ryan responded, "I

should hit you in your c#nt, you f#cking

b#tch."-----------------


The charges:

1. Obstructing an officer

2. Resisting arrest

3. Ped. In Roadway

4. Use of fight words

 

 

LOL

 

I like your style

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One of my best friends in high school used to come by all the time with his girlfriend. She was really hot, had a great personality, the whole package...


She came by my house one day, expecting him to be there. I tell her he isn't there -- she seems surprised, so I invite her in, assuming he'll be by shortly. She's there for all of five minutes when the phone rings. I answer it on speaker -- it's my friend/her boyfriend. Before I even get a chance to say "your girlfriend is here" and/or "you're on speaker", dumbass just starts in on this blow by blow story of how he just {censored}ed the hell out of his ex.


At this point, I look over at her -- she's white as a sheet. I grabbed the phone, taking it off speaker phone, and I don't know what to say -- I'm just saying "yeah" and "Really?" as he rambles.


As I'm sitting there, trying to figure my way out of this -- she plops down on her knees in front of me and starts unbuttoning my pants. At first, I'm freaking out, slapping her hands away... but she flips the bird at the phone, mouthing the words "{censored} him".


I couldn't argue with that logic.


She proceeded to give me an insanely good blowjob while I'm listening to this moron tell me of his sexcapade.


He's already finished his story, and is waiting for me to answer whatever question he just asked -- I'm floating off the couch in a dreamstate as this chick is working me like she's hurting for a hit and I'm the only dealer with a stash.


He hangs up -- I finish -- she gets up, kisses me on the cheek, and leaves.


Two days later, they show up together -- I'm freaking out, but she's acting coy, like nothing ever happened. I'm nervous as hell -- he's a close friend, I'm afraid he'll kill me, etc.


We smoke a bowl, and she tells him she's out of cigarettes. I offer her one of mine, she makes an excuse "I only smoke lights"... She starts making with the pouty lips, asking him to go to the store for her. I throw a $20 on the table, offering to pay for snacks. He takes me up on it, heads out, and she stays behind -- she says, "I need to call my mom".


He kisses her -- says "be right back", and he's gone.


As soon as the car starts in the driveway, she pulls my junk out and starts working it. She produces a condom out of nowhere like a damn magician, pulls her shorts to the side and jumps on like I'm a wooden horse on a carousel. I didn't last long. This girls was so freakin' hot, and I felt like a badass. The whole scene was thick with the fog of "I can't {censored}ing believe this is happening".


So, just as I finish, he pulls up. She jumps off and heads for the bathroom. I zip up, condom still on, and start spraying Lysol like he's gonna bloodhound our scent and catch wise.


He comes in, and I {censored} you not, the first thing he says to me -- "why the {censored} are you sweating? It's freezing in here!"


They broke up like two weeks later. I never saw her again.


We're still friends, though. I was the best man at his wedding a few years ago.

 

 

 

Umm...that story gave me a chubby.

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a few years back in highschool during summer break, my friend and i found a spot at the local park that no one ever saw cuz its really well hidden. We had at least 30 empty water bottles so we filled em all with piss and let em sit in a field to bake in the sun for like a month. When the time passed these things really truned color i mean like yellow to dark brown, and the odor could {censored}in strip the paint off a house.

anyway, at night there was a pretty busy neighborhood street by the park so we put the bottles all over the damn thing. cars would pass by, run over the bottles, and the {censored} would just spray everywhere. we hid in a nearby tree and when we walked out to the street, you could just see a huge coveribng of wet concrete and it smelled horrible. i wonder what the car owners felt like when they got a whiff.

i've wanted to do that in the future too, go to some party of a bunch of people i hate put the rancid urine all over their cars, put some visine in their drinks and ditch out. but stay in a close enough distance to where i can see their reactions/

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Oh {censored} I almost forgot.

 

When I was like 20 this guy wanted to play drums for me and my buddy.

 

We're all hanging out at my place, along with his sister and her friend, and his sister was a total slut. After a little while me and my buddy are both playing with his sisters {censored} and tits, and making out with her, trying to get her to go for a threeway right there in front of him. She was all {censored}in' hot n wet, I know she wanted to do it, but was to embarrased with her brother there in the room to say yeah. :mad:

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At a gig a couple of years ago there was this really loud and obnoxiuos prick from Texas (or there abouts) in front of me at the bar, getting on everybodys tits.
I happened to sneeze really loudly and got a massive amount of snot (and whatever else came out), all down the back of his pants, which everyone around noticed and he didn't.
Poor {censored}er was walking around with what looked like a massive load of spunk down the back of his right leg. Nice :cop:

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At a gig a couple of years ago there was this really loud and obnoxiuos prick from Texas (or there abouts) in front of me at the bar, getting on everybodys tits.

I happened to sneeze really loudly and got a massive amount of snot (and whatever else came out), all down the back of his pants, which everyone around noticed and he didn't.

Poor {censored}er was walking around with what looked like a massive load of spunk down the back of his right leg. Nice
:cop:



That is {censored}in' funny. :lol:

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k. i'll PM the link to the gallery posted...they're not on her photobucket anymore.


you'll have to wait until I get home.



or you can PM Killing Nevada. he was the friend in this story. haha.

 

 

 

 

i should add, this website that the pics were posted to is an adult website that gets lots of hits a day. last i checked, the album of this girl hit something like 35,000 hits or something.

 

yeah, i'm going to hell.

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