Members tdm71 Posted August 9, 2008 Members Share Posted August 9, 2008 I'm soooooo incredibly sorry to hear this !!! As a new father of a little girl myself I can not begin to imagine your grief. May god bless you and guide you through this dark time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members seven58 Posted August 9, 2008 Members Share Posted August 9, 2008 I understand exactly where you are coming from and would feel the same damn way. Its really easy to spew out condolences and advice as an observer and nobody here has anything other than the best intentions. It can get a little preachy which is why I've bailed out of this thread for the last few weeks. Its going to take time to learn how to deal with it and you'll never be completely over it, but it won't be the predominant thing that hangs over everything like it does now. It doesn't mean that you won't love her, just that you can only hurt this much for so long.No advice from me here, just letting you know that your feelings aren't out of line or inappropriate. As the man of the house it is your responsibility to lead the family through this and while it may not be the right thing for everyone else in the world, I think that with your disposition and personality (as far as I can gauge) that this is your way of coping and the way that you live. A counselor would be great for someone who doesn't know what to do or how to deal with the situation. I think that you are well grounded enough to know what to do. Its just going to be hard. You're a strong man and you know what's right. I feel horrible for your situation and your loss, but this would have probably crushed a weaker man and destroyed a lesser family. We all know that old saying that God only gives us what we can handle.... I very much apologize if anything I have said might have came off as preachy. Any advice that I have offered hasn't been given as an observer, it was given from experience and from the heart. You are right ashasha, it will take time. There are many stages that a person has to go through in coming to grips with something as tragic as this. But no one should ever have to "know how to deal with a situation" like this. I stand by my humble advice of talking with a counselor experienced in this area. An experienced counselor isn't going to offer advice or solutions. They are simply going to listen. And just speaking your feelings to someone who you don't have to be strong for will help in dealing with the feelings. It is cathartic. There was a time that I thought, "real men" hold everything in and don't show their emotions. Holding stuff in is like a pressure cooker. There has to be a way to let off steam. I still like to think I'm a "man's man", though not nearly as intimidating as the pictures I've seen of Axeslinger. I've had some heavy times when I needed to speak to someone who was not my friend or family member. Friends and family have images and expectations of us that can be hard to live up to. I was dealing with the loss of someone the first time I spoke with a counselor. I was EXTREMELY reluctant. I thought they would have nothing to offer me because no amount of talking would change reality. They offered me no great insight and were probably not even the greatest counselor. But strangely enough, I felt better. I didn't feel fixed, or over it in anyway. I just felt a little better. Axeslinger, there is no doubt you are strong and will get through this. There is no doubt that the pain will never go away. I just hope and pray that at some point, each day you will feel a little better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members larryguitar Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 :cry::cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brett Valentine Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 Yeah, same here. No advice, just thinking about you. One more day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Geeter Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 I thought about speaking with a grief counselor..Thought about it a number of times.... But unless you've been down this exact road and know without question what the end game is.. And in my mind no one alive possibly could.. Then I don't want to hear a load of speculative bull{censored}.. This is such a weird place to be.. I've always been supremely confident in myself in no matter what the circumstance was.. I screwed this up royally.. I have to guide me, and my remaining family through this myself.. Or I'm through as a man.. Does anyone understand that? I absolutely understand it. God be with you as you figure this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tp4mybunghol Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 I thought about speaking with a grief counselor..Thought about it a number of times.... But unless you've been down this exact road and know without question what the end game is.. And in my mind no one alive possibly could.. Then I don't want to hear a load of speculative bull{censored}.. This is such a weird place to be.. I've always been supremely confident in myself in no matter what the circumstance was.. I screwed this up royally.. I have to guide me, and my remaining family through this myself.. Or I'm through as a man.. Does anyone understand that? Its a very understandable thought...and one that most men feel from time to time. I work in a mental hospital and i've seen what happens when people bottle up emotions and keep unresolved feelings of grief AND guilt. Its not good. You're right, you need to be strong for your family. You all need to be there for each other. But you can't be strong if you crawl in a bottle (which is how most men deal with depression), sleep 2 hours a night or can't get out of the bed. Or worst case scenario you decide to give up and do something stupid. Asking for help does not make you less of a man. It does not make you weak. There is not a man/woman/child walking this planet that could not benefit from some good ole time on the couch. Believe it or not, over time you will feel better. Unfortunately life has delt you a hand that no one should ever have to bear. And it totally sucks and its not fair and all the feelings you're feeling are totally valid, but please talk to someone to help you process it. This rant is just trying to help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GarysBlues Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 My thoughts are with you Bro. Though I'm not their, I could feel your pain. So, so Sorry to hear this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ashasha Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 Hey, just to let everyone know that I am not against counseling if it is needed. I realize that it doesn't make someone weak which is a horrible stereotype; but it isn't for everyone. Axeslinger doesn't seem confused or irrational in his posts; he's just hurting really bad. I also think that he is the type of guy that needs to face life on his terms and sometimes that's just the way that it has to be done. Neither way is more right than the other, its just what works best for each person isn't always the same. Basically if someone needs help I would pray to God that they sought it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RaVenCAD Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 Axe, I understand what you are saying man, but you have to accept that you simply cannot put your child in your pocket and keep them safe from their own decisions. I wish you could, I never want to know any sort of harm has come to my girl, but that simply isn't the way it works. Bad things happen, sometimes despite our best efforts. You have no blame in this situation. Be strong for those that remain, and for yourself. And please, go see that grief counselor. They can, and will, help you. Short of that, see a pastor and just talk about things. Hang in there man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mrrikki Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 I thought about speaking with a grief counselor..Thought about it a number of times.... But unless you've been down this exact road and know without question what the end game is.. And in my mind no one alive possibly could.. Then I don't want to hear a load of speculative bull{censored}.. This is such a weird place to be.. I've always been supremely confident in myself in no matter what the circumstance was.. I screwed this up royally.. I have to guide me, and my remaining family through this myself.. Or I'm through as a man.. Does anyone understand that? You have not screwed up as a father myself I know the feeling of wanting to protect everyone and hold everything together as your the man of the house so yes I understand where you are coming from. You can not be the strong person holding this together for everyone all the time without getting some help yourself, talking to someone will help, in turn this will help you and then help you to lead your family through this.My thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jimwratt Posted August 10, 2008 Members Share Posted August 10, 2008 Oh no dude, that's horrible. Mojo and prayers your way bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PHILL MOSSING Posted August 12, 2008 Members Share Posted August 12, 2008 This thread was brought to my attention by a link posted in Guitar Jam.After reading it I am just floored. My heart sincerely goes out to you Axeslinger and your family.I just wanted to say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BigRoy Posted August 14, 2008 Members Share Posted August 14, 2008 I just noticed this thread so please forgive me for not responding sooner. I have a daughter and a grand daughter and I can only imagine your grief. Please accept my profound sympathies to you and your family. Be confident in the knowledge that you will indeed be reunited with her and ALL your loved ones on the Appointed day. May our Good Lord bless and be with you all, always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mewithoutlouie Posted August 14, 2008 Members Share Posted August 14, 2008 my thoughts and prayers are with you. stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IBDBB Posted August 14, 2008 Members Share Posted August 14, 2008 Just noticed what this thread is about...sorry for your loss. She's still with you, you just can't see her. Cheer up knowing that you have somebody with you who will always be there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ironhandjohn Posted August 15, 2008 Members Share Posted August 15, 2008 Axe, PM inbound.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RedsFan75 Posted August 15, 2008 Members Share Posted August 15, 2008 So sorry for your loss. My daughter is just a few months different in age and I can't even imagine what you are going through, Prayers, mojo and all your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members orrrrrrreo Posted August 15, 2008 Members Share Posted August 15, 2008 Oh my gosh. I just read this thread all the way though, and I feel like crying. She's my age, I can't even begin to know how you must feel. I am so sorry! You're in my thoughts!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RedTele Posted August 15, 2008 Members Share Posted August 15, 2008 Prayers be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Rossness Posted August 25, 2008 Members Share Posted August 25, 2008 Axe, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'll say a prayer for you and your daughter. Like others have said, don't ever meet the punk or take revenge, just let karma take its course. Let your daughter live on in your heart and dreams. Sorry for everything- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shooto Posted August 25, 2008 Members Share Posted August 25, 2008 very sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aliensporebomb Posted August 25, 2008 Members Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hang in there, Axe. Much mojo to you and your family. One day at a time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members snaredrum Posted August 26, 2008 Members Share Posted August 26, 2008 that is awful. my love to you and yours x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chiro972 Posted August 26, 2008 Members Share Posted August 26, 2008 I wish I could say something to help. My thoughts are with you and the family. Just do know that you have to get past this somehow. For the rest of your family. You have to find a way. I can't begin to tell you how because I wouldn't know what to offer, but seek out whatever help you can. Prayers and mojo continuing to be sent to you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jelloman Posted August 26, 2008 Members Share Posted August 26, 2008 I know that mere words cannot reduce the sorrow you feel but i'm sending you my deepest condolences anyway. may comfort and strength be found in the fond memories of days past come to you soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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