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Craig for President


Jeff Leites

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Breaking news!

 

Phil O'Keefe has accepted my appointment as Secretary of Defense.

 

Mr. Knobs has accepted my appointment as Attorney General. I figure if he can keep OJ mostly law-abiding, doing the country as a whole should be a piece of cake.

 

There is a bump in the road, though...I hope my getting Sarah Palin's daughter pregnant will be overlooked by the electorate. After all, she told me she was over 18, and given that we were both sort of going crazy at a Rave in Juneau, I wasn't about to ask for her birth certificate.

 

I'm still waiting to hear if Ken will accept the position of UN Ambassador. I've also created a new cabinet position for Lee Flier: Philosopher General. She hasn't decided to accept it yet (although she did say that being a moderator at HC has prepared her well for dealing with the government) but in any event, she has agreed to serve as an expert advisor in the Senate Subcommittee on Preservation of Vacuum Tube quality.

 

BTW, I have now received 2,546 PMs from people wanting to be Drug Czar buit that decision won't be made until much later. So stop sending!!

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Breaking news!


Phil O'Keefe has accepted my appointment as Secretary of Defense.


Mr. Knobs has accepted my appointment as Attorney General. I figure if he can keep OJ mostly law-abiding, doing the country as a whole should be a piece of cake.


There is a bump in the road, though...I hope my getting Sarah Palin's daughter pregnant will be overlooked by the electorate. After all, she told me she was over 18, and given that we were both sort of going crazy at a Rave in Juneau, I wasn't about to ask for her birth certificate.


I'm still waiting to hear if Ken will accept the position of UN Ambassador. I've also created a new cabinet position for Lee Flier: Philosopher General. She hasn't decided to accept it yet (although she did say that being a moderator at HC has prepared her well for dealing with the government) but in any event, she has agreed to serve as an expert advisor in the Senate Subcommittee on Preservation of Vacuum Tube quality.


BTW, I have now received 2,546 PMs from people wanting to be Drug Czar buit that decision won't be made until much later. So stop sending!!

 

 

All I want to hear from you is "free healthcare, no taxes, and otc viagra".

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All I want to hear from you is "free healthcare, no taxes, and otc viagra".

 

 

Sure thing - now that I'm in politics, I can lie through my teeth! So, if elected president, I guarantee free health care, no taxes, otc Viagara, candy for the kiddies, and an immediate 20% cut in the list price of Apple Notebook computers.

 

If those things don't come to pass, I'll blame the other party for being "obstructionists."

 

I do need a name for my party, though...I think the "Idiocratic" party has a nice ring to it.

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I realize you're only a cat, but that makes you ideal to head up the Department of Energy, because...

 

* Cats are experts at energy conservation. You rarely see them running around crazed, like dogs; but when there's a mouse nearby, they totally haul ass.

* Cats are basically solar-powered - that's why you always see them lying down in the sun.

* Cats practice water conservation. Rather than take long showers, they recycle their saliva and bathe themselves.

 

Besides, during times of crisis, having a cabinet member who purrs would be an incredible asset :thu:

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Damn you, Rudolf, for leaking the information!! After finding out Gus couldn't be VP because he's not a citizen of the US, my steering committee (which consists of cows as well as steers, so despite what the Daily News says, I am NOT bovinely sexist) decided on Laphroaig for VP. But then we found out he was Scotch, so I'm back to my VP search again.

 

Maybe I'll choose some former weather babe as a running mate! Now THAT would be really funny!

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Mr. Knobs has accepted my appointment as Attorney General. I figure if he can keep OJ mostly law-abiding, doing the country as a whole should be a piece of cake.

 

 

Ah, but see, OJ gathers all potential miscreants in one place. The general criminal population is more spread out across a large geographic area.

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