I sold my guitar on ebay...and dont wanna go through with it...

[BryanMichael]

If someone says "I'm willing to sell this item to the highest bidder", then receives money from the highest bidder, then refuses to deliver the item to the highest bidder, how does that not make it dishonest? If I say I will do X, then do not do X, I have been dishonest. People with integrity don't enter into agreements than just withdraw from them because they don't want to hold up their end. People with integrity do what the OP did. If they do not want to follow through, regardless of the reason, they explain why to the other party to the agreement and if the other party does not wish to change the agreement, they abide by their word. But some people here obviously have a huge problem understanding what integrity is. If people don't like me explaining reality and facts to them, too damn bad. If you don't want to abide by agreements you make, don't make them. At least the OP behaves like an adult. So tell me . . . if the roles were reversed, and the guy received the guitar, changed his mind and wanted out of the deal and Brian lost an opportunity to sell it to someone else because of that, what would your response be? People who think that they have no obligation to abide by their agreements disgust me.

 

You must be really young or just so {censored}ing perfect that we can cancel the second coming of Christ. By your logic, everyone who has ever gotten a divorce or changed their mind about ANYTHING is "dishonest". I believe that people are more flawed than that, and as such things require me to be flexible. SOmetimes people enter into things with good intentions, and based on the circumstances they find themselves in. BUt things change (as in this case) and {censored} happens, and as long as he isn't KEEPING the person's money, then really, there is no harm done. Dishonesty would be purposely defrauding people for personal gain, not starting something, changing one's mind and apologizing when circumstances change.

[etawful]

You must be really young or just so {censored}ing perfect that we can cancel the second coming of Christ. By your logic, everyone who has ever gotten a divorce or changed their mind about ANYTHING is "dishonest". I believe that people are more flawed than that, and as such things require me to be flexible. SOmetimes people enter into things with good intentions, and based on the circumstances they find themselves in. BUt things change (as in this case) and {censored} happens, and as long as he isn't KEEPING the person's money, then really, there is no harm done. Dishonesty would be purposely defrauding people for personal gain, not starting something, changing one's mind and apologizing when circumstances change.

 

Really young? Hardly. I'm probably older than you. I also never claimed to be perfect, but if I want out of a deal, I just don't unilaterally decide to tell the other person to bugger off. I discuss it with them like an adult and if we can't agree on a way to terminate the agreement, I follow through with what I agreed to do in the first place (kind of like Brian did).

 

You really don't quite get it do you? First, a divorce is a completely different matter and requires legal action to obtain (you DID know that right?), you can't just say "I'm divorced" and walk away. You also split the property between the parties. That may be the worst analogy I've seen in a long time.

 

Basically your entire argument boils down to the fact that your word is worth {censored}. You know that's what you're saying.

 

Personally, I'm a little more willing to honor my commitments than that. Your complete lack of integrity is duly noted and on display.

 

See responsible adults that want to back out of agreement don't just do it, they discuss it with the other party to the agreement and do what works for everyone.

 

I'll just keep in mind never to have any business dealings with you because you can't be trusted to follow through.

 

By YOUR logic, anyone who ever entered into any contract could just cease performing at any time they wanted. Hell, a contractor you hired to come remodel your kitchen could tear out the fixtures, then change his mind, leave your kitchen demolished and just hand you your check back right? Hell, you could take your car in to be serviced, the guy could sell you a new transmission, rip your car apart and then decide he didn't want to sell the transmission after all because he got a better offer right?

 

Yeah, your way of doing business works real well, nobody ever has to perform based on their contractual agreements and they can just say {censored} the buyer any time they decide they don't want to follow through.

[ModernSaloon]

Yep...I did and they said "no thanks please send me the guitar" or words to that effect. So its going. Oh well nevermind. Such is life.

 

You did good, man. It's just stuff after all; it's not like you are fedexing them your grandma or something like that.

[RaVenCAD]

Really young? Hardly. I'm probably older than you. You really don't quite get it do you? First, a divorce is a completely different matter and requires legal action to obtain (you DID know that right?), you can't just say "I'm divorced" and walk away. You also split the property between the parties. That may be the worst analogy I've seen in a long time. Basically your entire argument boils down to the fact that your word is worth {censored}. You know that's what you're saying. Personally, I'm a little more willing to honor my commitments than that. Your complete lack of integrity is duly noted and on display. See responsible adults that want to back out of agreement don't just do it, they discuss it with the other party to the agreement and do what works for everyone. I'll just keep in mind never to have any business dealings with you because you can't be trusted to follow through. By YOUR logic, anyone who ever entered into any contract could just cease performing at any time they wanted. Hell, a contractor you hired to come remodel your kitchen could tear out the fixtures, then change his mind, leave your kitchen demolished and just hand you your check back right? Hell, you could take your car in to be serviced, the guy could sell you a new transmission, rip your car apart and then decide he didn't want to sell the transmission after all because he got a better offer right? Yeah, your way of doing business works real well, nobody ever has to perform based on their contractual agreements and they can just say {censored} the buyer any time they decide they don't want to follow through.

 

Your examples are flawed because the buyer in this case wasn't harmed. The only damage he suffered was his lost time in sending the money to the seller. A more accurate example would be if the home owner had the contractor show up to rip out the kitchen, then stopped him at the front door and said "sorry, changed my mind." Yes, the seller agreed to the deal, but in reality, there is no legal body that's ever going to enforce that agreement. Now, if the seller had agreed, accepted the money and then never sent the guitar OR returned the money, that's a crime.

 

People can say what they want about learning who you trust from this thread, but that's BS.. This guy wasn't doing anything dishonest. He had seller's regret and wanted to terminate the deal if the buyer agreed to it. Simple as that. It's not like he wanted to vanish with someone's payment and not send the gear. He was an honest about it as of you holier-than-thou douches floating around in this toilet bowl could expect. Sending the guitar was the "right" thing, but trying to cancel the deal was FAR from the "wrong" thing.. What a bunch of sanctimonious buttwipes..

[etawful]

People can say what they want about learning who you trust from this thread, but that's BS.. This guy wasn't doing anything dishonest. He had seller's regret and wanted to terminate the deal if the buyer agreed to it. Simple as that. It's not like he wanted to vanish with someone's payment and not send the gear. He was an honest about it as of you holier-than-thou douches floating around in this toilet bowl could expect. Sending the guitar was the "right" thing, but trying to cancel the deal was FAR from the "wrong" thing.. What a bunch of sanctimonious buttwipes..

 

 

Which is why I've said all the way through that the OP did the right thing. Trying to cancel the deal was never the wrong thing. Trying to cancel it without any discussion with the buyer would have been, and still would be the wrong thing.

 

If you have the slightest hesitation about whether you would be willing to follow through on an agreement, don't enter into it in the first place.

 

Yup, the OP was honest about it, and he did exactly what he should have done, asked the buyer if he would agree to cancel the deal. Then, when the buyer said now, he followed through and did what he committed himself to do.

 

Hell, I've offered stuff up for raffle donations where all I had to do was just say "nevermind take my name off the list" and had second thoughts but I still followed through.

 

Like it or not, this thread says a hell of a lot about the way a lot of posters here do business and I know a lot of people I'd never buy, sell or trade with.

[BryanMichael]

I think RavenCAD hit it on the head. As long as property hasn't changed hands and money was refunded, in all actuality....the contract is VOID. Contracts can be voided for all kinds of LEGAL reasons, and as in this case, THERE IS NO LOSS AND NO HARM suffered by the buyer so it's merely a matter of an apology.

 

AS for putting on display "who I am" ?

 

I have 555 feedbacks on Ebay...100% positive from buyers and sellers and I deal honestly with everyone, including if I changed my mind about something.

[etawful]

 

I think RavenCAD hit it on the head. As long as property hasn't changed hands and money was refunded, in all actuality....the contract is VOID. Contracts can be voided for all kinds of LEGAL reasons, and as in this case, THERE IS NO LOSS AND NO HARM suffered by the buyer so it's merely a matter of an apology. AS for putting on display "who I am" ? I have 555 feedbacks on Ebay...100% positive from buyers and sellers and I deal honestly with everyone, including if I changed my mind about something.

 

 

 

Your understanding of contract law is as abysmal as your level of integrity. Well done.

 

I'd never buy from you on E-Bay, if you're willing to break your word in one way, you're willing to break it in another. Please post your E-Bay ID here for all to see so those who agree with you can flock to your auctions and those who don't can stay well clear.

[smorgdonkey]

You should have told him that you were in the process of packing the guitar and dropped it...the neck broke off and you'd have to refund the money.

[etawful]

You should have told him that you were in the process of packing the guitar and dropped it...the neck broke off and you'd have to refund the money.

 

Because lying is ALWAYS the best policy.

[BryanMichael]

Your understanding of contract law is as abysmal as your level of integrity. Well done.

 

Actually I have a pretty good grasp of it, maybe you don't know that most states have a "cooling off" period for contracts which can last from 3 to 7 days...California does NOT have this kind of law however, which I feel is UNETHICAL. Ethics and the LAW are two different things you see Adequate remedy at law for this TYPE of contract would be limited to damages suffered by the injured party- in other words.....a refund, which could have easily been issued.

 

If Ebay itself wanted to sue based on loss of revenue from a canceled sale, and as a third party beneficiary to that contract, they might have legal standing, but this type of thing would cost FAR MORE to prosecute than the guitar is worth, and the outcome would probably result in damages limited to a REFUND.

 

 

But I'm no expert...

 

Ps> The divorce argument still holds here, you state "If you break your word in one way, you would break it in another" - so by your logic, everyone who has ever gotten a divorce...is dishonest.

[guitarflyer]

OP came here to discuss reputation, integrity and honor...not 'what he can get away with.

 

It's real easy to talk tough on 'just send the money back, {censored} the buyer'...when your hiding behind anonymous avatars, proxies, fake email addresses, and user agreements that have no teeth...

[etawful]

 

Ps> The divorce argument still holds here, you state "If you break your word in one way, you would break it in another" - so by your logic, everyone who has ever gotten a divorce...is dishonest.

 

 

Not at all. That would really depend on the marriage vows you took. Since it's only a religious vow that says a marriage "til death do us part." In fact, I know of quite a few people who had agreed upon marriages of convenience for various reasons.

 

Then again, a pretty good number of divorces occur because one party refused to abide by their agreements . . . yeah, I'd call them untrustworthy.

 

Your analogy is flawed.

[tlbonehead]

I think RavenCAD hit it on the head. As long as property hasn't changed hands and money was refunded, in all actuality....the contract is VOID. Contracts can be voided for all kinds of LEGAL reasons, and as in this case, THERE IS NO LOSS AND NO HARM suffered by the buyer so it's merely a matter of an apology. AS for putting on display "who I am" ? I have 555 feedbacks on Ebay...100% positive from buyers and sellers and I deal honestly with everyone, including if I changed my mind about something.

If you see that as dealing honestly, I wouldn't even bother considering dealing with you.

[tlbonehead]

OP came here to discuss reputation, integrity and honor...not 'what he can get away with. It's real easy to talk tough on 'just send the money back, {censored} the buyer'...when your hiding behind anonymous avatars, proxies, fake email addresses, and user agreements that have no teeth...

well put.

[tlbonehead]

You should have told him that you were in the process of packing the guitar and dropped it...the neck broke off and you'd have to refund the money.

you'd be ok doing that if it were a big fat lie?

[smorgdonkey]

 

you'd be ok doing that if it were a big fat lie?

 

 

Not for me...but I don't know and didn't ask what the t/s' personal moral/ethical code is.

[tlbonehead]

I think RavenCAD hit it on the head. As long as property hasn't changed hands and money was refunded, in all actuality....the contract is VOID. Contracts can be voided for all kinds of LEGAL reasons, and as in this case, THERE IS NO LOSS AND NO HARM suffered by the buyer so it's merely a matter of an apology. AS for putting on display "who I am" ? I have 555 feedbacks on Ebay...100% positive from buyers and sellers and I deal honestly with everyone, including if I changed my mind about something.

well, if you had the same situation as the OP and you weaseled out of carrying our your end of the agreement, you'd certainly have a negative from nearly everyone here.

[tlbonehead]

 

but when it comes down to heartache over selling something and it hasn't left your possession maybe it would let the 'buyer' down easy because he'd not feel like he was out anything but just say "too bad" and then move on.

 

 

that's pretty sad reasoning.

[smorgdonkey]

that's pretty sad reasoning.

 

It may be 'sad' reasoning to you...but the t/s didn't want to go through with it and I'm just an anonymous person offering an anonymous suggestion.

 

 

At least I'm not commenting on everything everyone says...

[BryanMichael]

well, if you had the same situation as the OP and you weaseled out of carrying our your end of the agreement, you'd certainly have a negative from nearly everyone here.

 

Then, what can I say- since you are speaking for everyone here, then you should probably avoid dealing with me, despite my overwhelmingly positive reputation...including people on the forum that HAVE dealt with me. It's funny that you guys are so up in arms over this- his situation changed, he changed his mind. It's not that big of a deal. No one was harmed. I think most of this is bull{censored} anyway, because I'm positive that at some point or another all of you have downloaded software or music or illegally taped music at home (before they changed that law ) or were otherwise "dishonest" and didn't get caught- so, I'll just keep going with my being honest with everyone and living up to my own standards, since most of you are full of utter {censored} anyway and all of this sanctimonious holier than thou posturing is really bull{censored}. Go crucify yourself- PLEASE. We need a few more messiahs!

[jhorne]

Then, what can I say- since you are speaking for everyone here, then you should probably avoid dealing with me, despite my overwhelmingly positive reputation...including people on the forum that HAVE dealt with me. It's funny that you guys are so up in arms over this- his situation changed, he changed his mind. It's not that big of a deal. No one was harmed. I think most of this is bull{censored} anyway, because I'm positive that at some point or another all of you have downloaded software or music or illegally taped music at home (before they changed that law ) or were otherwise "dishonest" and didn't get caught- so, I'll just keep going with my being honest with everyone and living up to my own standards, since most of you are full of utter {censored} anyway and all of this sanctimonious holier than thou posturing is really bull{censored}. Go crucify yourself- PLEASE. We need a few more messiahs!

 

I don't know if it is more sad that you are so wrong about this, or that you don't even know why you are so wrong.

 

This isn't even a shades-of-gray situation, it is 100% black and white. Anyone that thinks the seller has any right to back out once the auction was over is wrong. Period.

[jamdogg]

Yep...I did and they said "no thanks please send me the guitar" or words to that effect. So its going. Oh well nevermind. Such is life.

 

at least you did the right thing and didn't lie to this guy like a big {censored}.

[etawful]

I wonder how many of the folks here would be singing a different tune if say . . . they were buying something for their kids birthday and the seller told them "nevermind, I changed my mind, oh your kids birthday is Friday? Too damn bad."

[BryanMichael]

I don't know if it is more sad that you are so wrong about this, or that you don't even know why you are so wrong. This isn't even a shades-of-gray situation, it is 100% black and white. Anyone that thinks the seller has any right to back out once the auction was over is wrong. Period.

 

DEFINE WHAT A "RIGHT" IS? It's an idea. Every contract has a cooling off period...er, wait, it depends on the state....so, not even the states can agree on what someone's "Rights" are when it comes to a contract, so what makes you think YOU have the "right answer?" Oh, I know You are a sanctimonious holier than thou {censored}WAD.

[knotty]

Then, what can I say- since you are speaking for everyone here, then you should probably avoid dealing with me, despite my overwhelmingly positive reputation...including people on the forum that HAVE dealt with me. It's funny that you guys are so up in arms over this- his situation changed, he changed his mind. It's not that big of a deal. No one was harmed. I think most of this is bull{censored} anyway, because I'm positive that at some point or another all of you have downloaded software or music or illegally taped music at home (before they changed that law ) or were otherwise "dishonest" and didn't get caught- so, I'll just keep going with my being honest with everyone and living up to my own standards, since most of you are full of utter {censored} anyway and all of this sanctimonious holier than thou posturing is really bull{censored}. Go crucify yourself- PLEASE. We need a few more messiahs!

 

Did we get your ebay i/d or did I miss something?