Members mygolfcart123 Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 My point is that judging people so harshly helps little, and distorts our view of the world. Most of the people, with only a very few exceptions, said "send the money back, keep the guitar". Now, while not honoring his word, that would at least not make the guy OUT anything directly (whether he missed out on another deal is a different story), but I can see how most people would say "well, if he gave the money back, no harm no foul". They aren't being "evil" for thinking/saying that. And on a personal level, I simply DO NOT expect people to do the right thing. Maybe it was the (extremely {censored}ed up) stuff I dealt with growing up, but most people, even 'trustworthy' people, stop being that way under the right circumstances. As a result, I pretty much ignore morality as a way of predicting behavior, because the people who appear the most 'moral' may be cultivating that image to better swindle people. Kind of like used car salesman. I just expect them to do what is in their self interest, protect myself as necessary, and if they do BETTER than that, I recognize it and if they KEEP doing it I add them to my list of friends. At the same token, because I don't expect moral behavior, I treat most 'normal human frailty' as just typical behavior. Now, breaking the guitar, or keeping the money and running, those are ACTIVELY hurting the other person, on purpose, and that is going down the route where I start to judge. but just keeping it and returning the money... Meh. I'll give that one a 'humans make mistakes and are weak' pass and move on. Well you have your way of viewing things and I have mine. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. What people said as far as suggesting doing something dishonest was WRONG.....PERIOD! Take that as you like. But you know it is the truth. And you expecting someone to not be honest says a lot about you. You do not trust because maybe you got screwed over in a deal somewhere by someone...I don't know. But not everyone is like that and I don't think MOST people are like what you describe either. My point, is that if you cannot trust someones character, they are not worth much. At least to me they are not. Years ago a "Mans word was his bond" was a standard...seems nowdays if you are just under being an outright crook.....you are doing OK. That may be OK with someone else but not with me. I will stand by what I have stated, I would not want to do business with anyone on ebay suggesting dishonesty in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oaksong Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 Years ago a "Mans word was his bond" was a standard...seems nowdays if you are just under being an outright crook.....you are doing OK. Myth. People have always held honesty and integrity as a virtue... but most of history people are just under being a crook. In many cases, the people extolling virtue used that to hide their own evil (see catholic church BS throughout the ages). You can feel how you want to about it, or you can take the practical approach: most people WILL be honest, but don't DEPEND on honesty unless you have to, and understand that every so often, you will get burned - either through miscommunications, people being dicks, things just going horribly wrong, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mygolfcart123 Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 Myth. People have always held honesty and integrity as a virtue... but most of history people are just under being a crook. In many cases, the people extolling virtue used that to hide their own evil (see catholic church BS throughout the ages). You can feel how you want to about it, or you can take the practical approach: most people WILL be honest, but don't DEPEND on honesty unless you have to, and understand that every so often, you will get burned - either through miscommunications, people being dicks, things just going horribly wrong, etc. It is NOT a MYTH either. Most people are honest or have the capacity to be. Depends on how they are raised. If they are dishonest, you can point back to their upbringing a lot of times. And I do understand that some people are crooks. That is a given. But not all of them are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members etawful Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 Jeez man.. Even when I try to be funny, people act like I stepped on their dog =( Nah, if you stepped on my dog, you'd be missin' a foot (That's the legbone from the last guy that stepped on him) :thu: Seriously though, if you stepped on him, he'd probably just keep sleeping . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oaksong Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 It is NOT a MYTH either. Most people are honest or have the capacity to be. Depends on how they are raised. If they are dishonest, you can point back to their upbringing a lot of times. And I do understand that some people are crooks. That is a given. But not all of them are. Exactly (well, the second part), I think we are just talking past each other. People have a rather rosy view of the past. There was never some magical point behind us where people were immensely more moral/ethical than they are now. People always believe in the "good ol days" but that is just the way the mind works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BoneNut Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 I remember reading somewhere, that 20% of the population are 100% honest, no matter what and will always choose to do the "right thing". Another 20% are dishonest and will always take the advantage, no matter the consequences to others. The actions of the remaining 60% will depend on the situation they are faced with. Could that be true? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oaksong Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 I remember reading somewhere, that 20% of the population are 100% honest, no matter what and will always choose to do the "right thing". For which definition of "right thing"? To me it is more like 80% will do some form of right thing, depending on situation. It may not be your version 20% will take advantage. Some subset of those are amoral sociopaths and actively seek to gain power, etc, in order to {censored} people over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zemmy Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 For which definition of "right thing"? To me it is more like 80% will do some form of right thing, depending on situation. It may not be your version20% will take advantage. Some subset of those are amoral sociopaths and actively seek to gain power, etc, in order to {censored} people over. you dropped your tinfoil hat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guitar Heel Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 Maybe wrap it in a poncho, throw it in a pond, drag it back out, then jump up and down on it while pouring some sort of sauce on it? I know I'd laugh, but then I wouldn't be the one with a wet dead dog, covered in a poncho and some strange sauce.. My own humor, sometimes it escapes me too.. Did someone say Poncho? Uploaded with ImageShack.us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Faber Posted July 29, 2010 Members Share Posted July 29, 2010 BM you did right to stand by your deal and the guitar - no harm in asking the buyer either. What you have is probably just seller's remorse. I know that one, but it fades quickly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Htaed Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 You're in no way obligated to do anything in life that you do not want to do and these retards talking like it's a matter of honor need to go suck some priest cock in church because that's where their bullsh!t logic came from. Brainwashed by religion. You're a freeman on the land and have every right to change your mind, particularly when the item belongs to you and the money can simply be refunded. It's your instrument and in any commonwealth nation, you have the right to change your mind and back out of the sale. The same goes with binding contracts, it's known as 3 days grace and it supersedes any ebay policy you contracted into when opening your account. But the logic here is sad. As if your very reputation depends upon you going through with this sale. Big deal, someone will be disappointed, life goes on. Until it's in their hands, the item belongs to you even if you have their money. If you have their money, sure you are obligated. Obligated to 1 of 2 things. To give them the merchandise or return their money in full. The reality is, the power is in your hands and the statutes that govern such situations were designed this way for a reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MorganB Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 I sold My Bich on EBAy and I want to go through with it!!! Relax it is only a guitar! And (similar) have Duplicates for the good ones and you can always get another! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members etawful Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 First, you're the type of person I refuse to do business with, and dealing with people honestly and following through on your word has nothing to do with religion, it has everything to do with being an adult accepting responsibility for your decisions and actions. Second, he already did the right thing instead of abiding by your bad faith advice. Third, a grace period is only applicable in some states and under some conditions. http://www.life123.com/career-money/business-law/contracts/how-long-do-you-have-to-cancel-a-contract.shtml Fortunately, the OP has more integrity than that and is willing to abide by his agreements. You can stow your vitriole, nobody wants to hear it. You're in no way obligated to do anything in life that you do not want to do and these retards talking like it's a matter of honor need to go suck some priest cock in church because that's where their bullsh!t logic came from. Brainwashed by religion. You're a freeman on the land and have every right to change your mind, particularly when the item belongs to you and the money can simply be refunded.It's your instrument and in any commonwealth nation, you have the right to change your mind and back out of the sale. The same goes with binding contracts, it's known as 3 days grace and it supersedes any ebay policy you contracted into when opening your account. But the logic here is sad. As if your very reputation depends upon you going through with this sale. Big deal, someone will be disappointed, life goes on. Until it's in their hands, the item belongs to you even if you have their money. If you have their money, sure you are obligated. Obligated to 1 of 2 things. To give them the merchandise or return their money in full. The reality is, the power is in your hands and the statutes that govern such situations were designed this way for a reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bisticles Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 Oh no, not this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CoqBelliqueux Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 Oh no, not this again. Well, I'm glad etawful is willing to take the time to explain why everyone sucks so bad today. Being able to trust the other members of the community is a major part of peace and order. When you need laws and courts to force people it all goes to hell. 8th circle, I think.Sadly, no one is expected to be honest today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BryanMichael Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 I still say "no harm no foul" with this- it has nothing to do with being "honest" - Simply refunding the money and saying "I'm sorry, I listed this for financial reasons and things improved on my end, and I'd rather not sell it- I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience to you" IS BEING HONEST.. Until the property has changed hands, it's still honest and ethical to say "I don't want to go through with this contract" and in MOST states, that is built in! That wouldn't make Brian May dishonest or a "scumbag" for changing his mind for Christ's sake:rolleyes: You guys are WAYYYYYYY too self-righteous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members etawful Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 I still say "no harm no foul" with this- it has nothing to do with being "honest" - Simply refunding the money and saying "I'm sorry, I listed this for financial reasons and things improved on my end, and I'd rather not sell it- I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience to you" IS BEING HONEST.. Until the property has changed hands, it's still honest and ethical to say "I don't want to go through with this contract" and in MOST states, that is built in! That wouldn't make Brian May dishonest or a "scumbag" for changing his mind for Christ's sake:rolleyes: You guys are WAYYYYYYY too self-righteous. If someone says "I'm willing to sell this item to the highest bidder", then receives money from the highest bidder, then refuses to deliver the item to the highest bidder, how does that not make it dishonest? If I say I will do X, then do not do X, I have been dishonest. People with integrity don't enter into agreements than just withdraw from them because they don't want to hold up their end. People with integrity do what the OP did. If they do not want to follow through, regardless of the reason, they explain why to the other party to the agreement and if the other party does not wish to change the agreement, they abide by their word. But some people here obviously have a huge problem understanding what integrity is. If people don't like me explaining reality and facts to them, too damn bad. If you don't want to abide by agreements you make, don't make them. At least the OP behaves like an adult. So tell me . . . if the roles were reversed, and the guy received the guitar, changed his mind and wanted out of the deal and Brian lost an opportunity to sell it to someone else because of that, what would your response be? People who think that they have no obligation to abide by their agreements disgust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members etawful Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 Well, I'm glad etawful is willing to take the time to explain why everyone sucks so bad today. Being able to trust the other members of the community is a major part of peace and order. When you need laws and courts to force people it all goes to hell. 8th circle, I think.Sadly, no one is expected to be honest today. Not everyone sucks, just most people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Willyguitar Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 [YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EJStrat2Tone Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 You're in no way obligated to do anything in life that you do not want to do and these retards talking like it's a matter of honor need to go suck some priest cock in church because that's where their bullsh!t logic came from. Brainwashed by religion. You're a freeman on the land and have every right to change your mind, particularly when the item belongs to you and the money can simply be refunded.It's your instrument and in any commonwealth nation, you have the right to change your mind and back out of the sale. The same goes with binding contracts, it's known as 3 days grace and it supersedes any ebay policy you contracted into when opening your account. But the logic here is sad. As if your very reputation depends upon you going through with this sale. Big deal, someone will be disappointed, life goes on. Until it's in their hands, the item belongs to you even if you have their money. If you have their money, sure you are obligated. Obligated to 1 of 2 things. To give them the merchandise or return their money in full. The reality is, the power is in your hands and the statutes that govern such situations were designed this way for a reason. You're right, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. The great thing about ebay is it's annonymous! Who cares what the buyer thinks anyway. But I wonder how he treats people he actually knows. Will he be able to return the money he borrows so that he can "save" his guitar? Hmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EJStrat2Tone Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 First, you're the type of person I refuse to do business with, and dealing with people honestly and following through on your word has nothing to do with religion, it has everything to do with being an adult accepting responsibility for your decisions and actions.Second, he already did the right thing instead of abiding by your bad faith advice.Third, a grace period is only applicable in some states and under some conditions. http://www.life123.com/career-money/business-law/contracts/how-long-do-you-have-to-cancel-a-contract.shtmlFortunately, the OP has more integrity than that and is willing to abide by his agreements.You can stow your vitriole, nobody wants to hear it. Yeah! You tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EJStrat2Tone Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 I still say "no harm no foul" with this- it has nothing to do with being "honest" - Simply refunding the money and saying "I'm sorry, I listed this for financial reasons and things improved on my end, and I'd rather not sell it- I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience to you" IS BEING HONEST.. Until the property has changed hands, it's still honest and ethical to say "I don't want to go through with this contract" and in MOST states, that is built in! That wouldn't make Brian May dishonest or a "scumbag" for changing his mind for Christ's sake:rolleyes: You guys are WAYYYYYYY too self-righteous. Ultimately it's his call. F everyone but me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EJStrat2Tone Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 :cry:What can I do? They have already paid me immediately via paypal. I said I was sad about this and regretted not pulling it off in the dying minutes..but thats too late now. Whats the worst that can happen to me? I've no neg feedbacks in 5yrs and I know this would be my first...should I see the deal through and do the decent thing...or shall I be bad? The reason my guitar went on ebay was because I have a financial need at the moment and so I put it on reluctantly....and thought its not going to go and I wont relist it and would just borrow the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ashasha Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 I remember reading somewhere, that 20% of the population are 100% honest, no matter what and will always choose to do the "right thing". Another 20% are dishonest and will always take the advantage, no matter the consequences to others. The actions of the remaining 60% will depend on the situation they are faced with. Could that be true? All depends on which category of the 20% the person that said it fell into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members caveman Posted August 4, 2010 Members Share Posted August 4, 2010 Threads like this give great insight into who is trustworthy and who isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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