OT: Those of you who are living with or have lived with their girlfriends GTFIH.

[Rug]

6 months in, and she's asking to move in?????? Dude, do what you want, but to me, that {censored}ing SCREAMS attachment/abandonment issues. Not only that, but possibly psycho as well. She most likely hasn't found many guys that she thought she could care for, or those guys probably either verbally or physically abused her early on. Since you have done neither, she has deemed you to be the guy that she won't lose, the guy she refuses to let go, and will sink grappling hooks into your balls to hold onto you. If you DID decide that you wanted out, even with the epic porkage, you would have an extremely hard time getting rid of her. I smell stalker on this. Tread EXTREMELY carefully, Chris. No {censored}.

 

 

 

I'm going to second this.

 

Six months down the road, I'm still dealing with the personal and financial aftermath of someone with huge, nearly psychotic attachment issues. I moved in with her after a year and six months, it lasted eight from there on.

 

Just be sure dude, of everything. The two year rule mentioned a few posts above is what I'd agree on setting the rule as.

 

If she's reasonable, even with the previously mentioned issues with abandonment, she'll understand. worst case scenario, she gets a roommate?

[groovetube]

after reading this thread, i now realize i am in an odd situation. I was living at a place, and a female friend asked me to crash for a week cuz her abusive, in-n-out of jail boyfriend was being a jerk. I was single, and after a few days we hit it off and we've been living together since. its been over 4 years. i never dated her or even really knew her super-well before she moved in.

weird apparently

[co&cafan808]

Not sure if it's been mentioned yet but if you decide to let her move in you should check your state law about how long you have to live with someone before you become legally married, or your ass could get screwed if things sour. Check all the angles.

[knucklefux]

it can be good or bad.

 

to me, the fact that you're asking about it here says that you don't want to do it. go with your gut.

 

that said, telling her something like "{censored} no, you can't move in" is probably not going to be a good thing for the relationship.

 

bottom line here is that she should have waited for you to invite her to live with you. since she pretty basically invited herself, i don't predict things ending well if you say no.

[fanblade]

Well it's official...most of you are homos....because it's obvious you guys don't see the merits of hopping in bed with a naked female every single night...

[kanamvar32]

Well it's official...most of you are homos....because it's obvious you guys don't see the merits of hopping in bed with a naked female every single night...

So shortsighted It's not about getting the girl into bed it's about whether you want them to stay there or not.

Anyways, to the OP, based on the info you've shared, I'd have to say you should not let her move in with you. You have only been together for a short time and her asking to move in with you comes off as a bad sign.

[Chrisjd]

I have lived with my now wife for fifteen years. The first nine years of that, we weren't married. I'd say it has worked out quite nicely. Lots of folks here are pointing out the negatives, but there are some pretty significant positives, beyond labor and cost sharing. The biggest is you will find out in pretty short order what the chick's dark side is (and she yours). That may not sound like a positive, but there are some things you just don't learn about someone until you're living with them, and it's better to find that {censored} out before, say, you have plunked down ten grand for wedding preparations. Another one is that it will help you learn how to live with a woman. The longer you live on your own, the harder it is to learn how to make the compromises that are necessary to have a healthy relationship with someone sharing your space (no, living with your buddies is not even close to the same). My wife's cousin is in his 40s, and has lived on his own for his entire adult life. He has become so stuck in his ways that he is no longer capable of compromising on little things, which has cost him with women. You don't want that to happen. All that said, I would say that it depends a lot on you, not her. If I recall correctly, you're pretty young, and six months isn't that long of a relationship. No need to rush into anything. I would say, if the thought of settling down with her hasn't crossed your mind, it's too soon. On the other hand, if it has, then it's time to start thinking about it. That doesn't mean that you should say yes, just that you should think about how and when, and have a plan in your mind. Because if she's worth considering for the long haul, and has already expressed the desire to move in, it's a step that will have to happen sooner or later. Best to be prepared.

 

 

Awesome man, thanks.

 

Yes, I am 26. I live about 10 minutes from you probably. My house is in south Minnie.

[Charlie_Sheen]

probably been said already, but... a good test for marriage; if you already know that's not happening, i'd pass.

[Chrisjd]

Lots of other helpfull responses on this page. Thanks again guys.

This forum is actually pretty intelligent and seasoned in experiences. I am impressed.

FWIW, if I didn't make it clear, she didn't ask IF she could move in right away, she meant would I consider it sometime down the road. I still think she means sooner rather than later.

She is a little clingy, but she tries not to lead onto it.

She told me she is going to do "everything in my power to keep you" and that she is "so happy you found me and decided to keep me."

Today, she texted me "thanks for cooking and cleaning last night for our friends. You are so wonderfull, sometimes I feel that you deserve better than me and it's hard to believe that you actually want me."

I am not used to this kind of talk, and it's coming out more and more as time goes on.... It's kind of flattering, but at the same time, I am not sure what to do with it....

[driverhasabomb]

Almost 10 years living with my girlfriend.

 

Just give each other space. Insist on having a man cave.

[cavemanic]

Well it's official...most of you are homos....because it's obvious you guys don't see the merits of hopping in bed with a naked female every single night...

I've hopped in 3 different girls beds this week and I'm single for a reason....

[tmdguitar]

if she hasnt earned your trust, why even consider thinking about her moving in? put that on the backburner

[mseriously30]

be cautious. let her know that you're cautious. this has to be on your own terms...and if those terms seem to work well for her? then it's all good.

[DEADBYDAWN]

Tell her you think it's a great idea, help her move her stuff in, wait until her old apartment is out of the picture, and then tell her to get lost. No bitch just asks if she can move in on day one. After this little exercise in woman placement, she probably won't ever ask that question again. Like a good girl.

[MadKeithV]

Short short version of some of the good advice above: if you are unsure what the answer is, then the answer is obviously "don't let her move in".

 

It's a big change, and if it doesn't come "naturally" for you, don't do it yet.

[PaoloJM]

Just make sure that you have one room for yourself with all your music stuff or whatever helps you relax, you'll need it....badly.

Whoever made the comment about getting into bed with a naked woman every night obviously hasn't lived with one for more than a year.

After a year to two of mad sex every night you'll start going to bed with a woman in her nice cotton "jimjamas" that has a head ache every night.

This is from experience with three girls, any other guys I know have had similar experiences.

It's a pretty big deal, if you're not sure then don't.

[Mesa4x12er2]

She needs to have her own place. She can crash at yours occasionally, but keep an eye on it or it will become everyday and eventually all of her stuff will slowly get moved over anyway. Living with girls is a bad idea until you are ready to commit yourself fully. Otherwise they will make your life hell. Well they do that anyway but she'll do it quicker!

[Johansolo]

Its good and bad. The companionship is great, splitting chores and bills is great, having some one to come home to is awesome...making dinner together, talking about your day, all that stuff...BUT you will lose A LOT of time to yourself. There is no way around it. It was a struggle for me to get 15 minutes a day to play guitar or {censored} around on the computer. Overall good, but make sure you can keep YOUR time...that was my biggest complaint. Also, make sure you get along REALLY WELL, or it wont work. And try to make sure you guys are on the same page as far as cleanliness and neatness go...I was very neat and she wasnt and it drove me up the {censored}ing wall!!

 

 

i didnt read past this post as it pretty much summed up what i was going to say,

[Ballfuzz]

Yeah it's a no brainer. Besides, the first year is still kind of the honeymoon. After that you get to see what's what without the "omg she's awesome" blinders on.

I know myself too well. I know that 5-6 months in, she'll be the best girl ever. I also know that between 8 and 12 months, I OFTEN lose total interest. However, this is all more a reflection of me. Regardless, if I'm like that, there are bound to be lots of others like this, hence why it can't hurt to wait after the one year period to make any decisions on anything.

Lastly, I found that ANY girl who wants to move in early, if you don't feel like this person is the love of your life, is totally rushing it. It could be any guy.

[yourguitarhero]

She is a little clingy, but she tries not to lead onto it. She told me she is going to do "everything in my power to keep you" and that she is "so happy you found me and decided to keep me." Today, she texted me "thanks for cooking and cleaning last night for our friends. You are so wonderfull, sometimes I feel that you deserve better than me and it's hard to believe that you actually want me." I am not used to this kind of talk, and it's coming out more and more as time goes on.... It's kind of flattering, but at the same time, I am not sure what to do with it....

 

 

You're gonna have to walk on this one - that's crazy talk, especially with the whole daddy thing you talked about earlier.

 

I was dating my GF for 18 months, she moved in when we got engaged and we got married 6 months later - that was December. Since she moved in I've found out she gets more depressed than I previously thought, but it's not proven to be a problem.

 

All is good in the hood.

[Gremson]

I met my girlfriend on an internet dating site (Okcupid)

On the first date she spent the night with me. The next day I found out she was losing her house.

I wanted to be a nice guy and offered to let her keep her stuff in my garage until she found a new place. She had already planned to couch surf with friends during this time.

While she was looking for a new place she ended up staying with me every night because we had fun in the dark.

After two weeks of this happening (and two weeks of even knowing her) I had jokingly said "Hey, why don't you just start paying some bills around here" and left for work. Later that day I got a text saying she thought that was a great idea.

 

That was over a year ago and we're still happy together. Best girl I've had yet.

 

But she sucks at keeping the house clean.

[yourguitarhero]

I met my wife on internet dating too.

 

She's not too bad at keeping the house clean - once I dig out the broom and smack her with it a couple of times.

[C-4]

It really depends on the girl and relationship. If you're in a committed relationship that is heading towards marriage then ok. But a casual relationship, no way.

This...definitely THIS!

How old are you? If you are still young, do NOT think that your eye will not wonder eventually. Do not think that this is the one, EVEN IF YOU do think THIS IS the one.

People tend to go through a change in tastes, likes, and dislikes about every seven years. Until you have a lot of experiences and understanding of others, living together in a committed relationship will end in problems you won't see coming at you now.

Also, no matter what your age, never, EVER think that you will never again find a person like this. I have been told this by gf's with whom I have broken up with. You'd be surprised what life will offer you at a later time. I was patient and confident that when I moved in with someone that I really did think they were the one.

It's the only sure way to avoid problems that you would rather have never faced in your life.

[Pepi]

Chris ... Just talk to her about the way you feel. Truth is the best approach. If she gets all weird about your feelings maybe it wasn't meant to be Good luck ... Sometimes I wish I was young again

[shredhead7]

Lots of other helpfull responses on this page. Thanks again guys. This forum is actually pretty intelligent and seasoned in experiences. I am impressed. FWIW, if I didn't make it clear, she didn't ask IF she could move in right away, she meant would I consider it sometime down the road. I still think she means sooner rather than later. She is a little clingy, but she tries not to lead onto it. She told me she is going to do "everything in my power to keep you" and that she is "so happy you found me and decided to keep me." Today, she texted me "thanks for cooking and cleaning last night for our friends. You are so wonderfull, sometimes I feel that you deserve better than me and it's hard to believe that you actually want me." I am not used to this kind of talk, and it's coming out more and more as time goes on.... It's kind of flattering, but at the same time, I am not sure what to do with it....

 

 

I've lived with four women, currently with the fourth. I could write tomes on what to expect, what crazy girls are like (I seem to have some strange magnetism towards them), etc.

 

There are some red flags in what she is saying to you, but also in how you feel about it as well. You mentioned in your first post, I'm wondering if she is just looking at me as easy money, or something to that effect. A valid concern, but seriously, you're 26 with your first home and probably your first job out of uni. Not to be mean, but you sound like you have some baggage in there as well with regards to women being gold diggers.

 

The truth is, we ALL have issues. Buying your first home that is your place is exciting, scary, intimidating, and pride inducing. From your post, she sees you as marriage material, not because of the house, but because you have your {censored} together enough to get a house; and obviously are a nice guy to her (helped entertain and clean/cook for your friends).

 

My advice over all on this, is that I would keep things status quo. She continues to have her own place, but can stay over a lot, what ever. The length of your relationship isn't as easy as saying, wait one year. Everyone is different there as well. You will know when it is right and if it doesn't work out, you will grow from it.