OT: Those of you who are living with or have lived with their girlfriends GTFIH.

[RSBro]

Crazy bitch is crazy.

But you liked teh way she {censored}ed you, yeah?? :cop:

[PurityS.L.G.]

Hey Chris! Congrats on your new place

 

6 mo's into dating? Hell no. I wouldn't even consider it.

 

Based off of my own experiences and witnessing many similar situations from my surrounding peers, this woman has some potential to cause disaster later on within the relationship. If you already give into her on moving in, her requests from you will soon become demands and then it will continue to go down hill from there. Not saying this will happen 100% for sure, but there is certainly a damn good possibility that it could happen.

 

I'm going on 3 years with my woman, we both decided to wait to be together for a little over a year before moving in with each other and things have worked out amazing. 6 months is still too soon to fully get a grasp of somebody else's true colors, moods, habits, etc. I learned a lot more about my woman between the 6-12 month interim.

[missingastring]

But you liked teh way she {censored}ed you, yeah?? :cop:

Never had it so good before or since. She actually made me {censored}ing blush. It was crazy good.

[Santuzzo]

I personally would say, if you can live seperate.
I do live with my g/f, and it's all good, but we lived in different countries, and she moved here, so moving in together was a no-brainer.
But in general I am one who would prefer for both to have their own place.
And if you don't really feel like you WANT to live together with her just yet, you should not do it. Just my 2 cents.

[RSBro]

Never had it so good before or since. She actually made me {censored}ing blush. It was crazy good.

I still remember the best one for me too... :cry: Unfortunately, that's the most normal and stable girl I've dated since graduating college, and yeah- RSB went and {censored}ed that one up royally!

[dropthisd]

If she asked you to move in then recognize it as a red flag.
Maybe spend a week with her, out of town and far away. See how you adjust by having her around all the time. Another red flag is how she wants to "decorate" your new place. To me that sounds pushy and potentially might give her more control over your turf than you may be willing to admit. She how she adjusts to your new house and your gear layout. Its your new house.

Seriously in my own experiences if your g/f ask to move in one day after you move into your new house then its a red flag. Just keep resisting and play the overly cautious optimistic type.

[chromatica17]

I lived with a girlfriend before and she is now my wife.
It was kind of hard at first, just cause I was used to my own personal time, but I got used to it and adapted as needed.

[RSBro]

I lived with a girlfriend before and she is now my wife. It was kind of hard at first, just cause I was used to my own personal time, but I got used to it and adapted as needed.

How old were you when she moved in? In all honesty, this is my biggest problem and why I fight w/ gf's who extended stay, etc.. I lived alone all through college and 5 years since. It's hard dealing w/ another person there, all up in yo {censored}!!

[Chrisjd]

Hey Chris! Congrats on your new place 6 mo's into dating? Hell no. I wouldn't even consider it. Based off of my own experiences and witnessing many similar situations from my surrounding peers, this woman has some potential to cause disaster later on within the relationship. If you already give into her on moving in, her requests from you will soon become demands and then it will continue to go down hill from there. Not saying this will happen 100% for sure, but there is certainly a damn good possibility that it could happen. I'm going on 3 years with my woman, we both decided to wait to be together for a little over a year before moving in with each other and things have worked out amazing. 6 months is still too soon to fully get a grasp of somebody else's true colors, moods, habits, etc. I learned a lot more about my woman between the 6-12 month interim.

Hey man, been a while. Solid advice right here. You got lucky.... Awesome.

Thank you my brothers. Everything that has been said rings clear as a bell in my head right now.....

[missingastring]

If you go with a definite "NO", make it very clear. Don't be vague with your language. If you're not clear, she'll weasel her way in before you're ready, and you'll resent her for it.

[ComOp]

I personally prefer to live with my lady. There are frustrations involved so its not for everyone.

I don't think this is the kind of decision you should make lightly.... Or via popular opinion from interweb/guitar dorks.

[goosefartfan]

I recently bought my first house

Sadly, what she said is full of red flags.....but the biggest red flag is what you said, as quoted above.

When my father died, may he rest in peace, my family went to the lawyer for the reading of the will. At the time, by brother was living up North with his girlfriend (who nobody liked). I asked the lawyer (this was in Ga.), "could my brother's girlfriend make a claim on his inheritance?".....that is, I was wondering, "what is the definition of a common law wife?" The lawyer responded, "well, they have to be living like man and wife"...."What do you mean," I asked, "isn't there like a basic minimum of like 2 years living together before she's considered by law to be a common law wife?" "Nope," he answered. "If they act like husband and wife, buy groceries together, make food for each other, share chores, etc., etc., etc., the law would consider them as married, even if they acted this way only for a week."

Now, YMMV, but the first thing I would do, yes at $100-300/hr, is call a divorce lawyer and find out what to do and not to do to protect your ass.

Youse haz been warned!!!!!

[la0tsu]

Sadly, what she said is full of red flags.....but the biggest red flag is what you said, as quoted above. When my father died, may he rest in peace, my family went to the lawyer for the reading of the will. At the time, by brother was living up North with his girlfriend (who nobody liked). I asked the lawyer (this was in Ga.), "could my brother's girlfriend make a claim on his inheritance?".....that is, I was wondering, "what is the definition of a common law wife?" The lawyer responded, "well, they have to be living like man and wife"...."What do you mean," I asked, "isn't there like a basic minimum of like 2 years living together before she's considered by law to be a common law wife?" "Nope," he answered. "If they act like husband and wife, buy groceries together, make food for each other, share chores, etc., etc., etc., the law would consider them as married, even if they acted this way only for a week." Now, YMMV, but the first thing I would do, yes at $100-300/hr, is call a divorce lawyer and find out what to do and not to do to protect your ass. Youse haz been warned!!!!!

There is no common law in Minnesota. Not an issue.

[PurityS.L.G.]

Sadly, what she said is full of red flags.....but the biggest red flag is what you said, as quoted above. When my father died, may he rest in peace, my family went to the lawyer for the reading of the will. At the time, by brother was living up North with his girlfriend (who nobody liked). I asked the lawyer (this was in Ga.), "could my brother's girlfriend make a claim on his inheritance?".....that is, I was wondering, "what is the definition of a common law wife?" The lawyer responded, "well, they have to be living like man and wife"...."What do you mean," I asked, "isn't there like a basic minimum of like 2 years living together before she's considered by law to be a common law wife?" "Nope," he answered. "If they act like husband and wife, buy groceries together, make food for each other, share chores, etc., etc., etc., the law would consider them as married, even if they acted this way only for a week." Now, YMMV, but the first thing I would do, yes at $100-300/hr, is call a divorce lawyer and find out what to do and not to do to protect your ass. Youse haz been warned!!!!!

Common Law Marriage varies state to state. If what you just stated is indeed true, remind me to NEVER go back to Georgia (not like I need reminding since it's like living in a sauna over there )

[la0tsu]

I have lived with my now wife for fifteen years. The first nine years of that, we weren't married. I'd say it has worked out quite nicely.

 

Lots of folks here are pointing out the negatives, but there are some pretty significant positives, beyond labor and cost sharing. The biggest is you will find out in pretty short order what the chick's dark side is (and she yours). That may not sound like a positive, but there are some things you just don't learn about someone until you're living with them, and it's better to find that {censored} out before, say, you have plunked down ten grand for wedding preparations.

 

Another one is that it will help you learn how to live with a woman. The longer you live on your own, the harder it is to learn how to make the compromises that are necessary to have a healthy relationship with someone sharing your space (no, living with your buddies is not even close to the same). My wife's cousin is in his 40s, and has lived on his own for his entire adult life. He has become so stuck in his ways that he is no longer capable of compromising on little things, which has cost him with women. You don't want that to happen.

 

All that said, I would say that it depends a lot on you, not her. If I recall correctly, you're pretty young, and six months isn't that long of a relationship. No need to rush into anything. I would say, if the thought of settling down with her hasn't crossed your mind, it's too soon.

 

On the other hand, if it has, then it's time to start thinking about it. That doesn't mean that you should say yes, just that you should think about how and when, and have a plan in your mind. Because if she's worth considering for the long haul, and has already expressed the desire to move in, it's a step that will have to happen sooner or later. Best to be prepared.

[Northstar]

Make sure that, if she moves in, you have all the paperwork in place for sole ownership of the house.

[Eschatologist]

I have. Do yourself a favour and keep your space yours.

[Northstar]

I have. Do yourself a favour and keep your space yours.

I have

[Mr Roboto]

No, no, and no.

[kmanick]

6 months in? I would think that's a bit early.
I lived with 6 girls over the years before I met my wife (been married almost 10 yers now).
It obviously has it's +'s and -'s. But you already have a good situation as is.
I'd let it go for another 3-6 months and then you know what?
You won't have to ask anyones advice, you'll know what to do.
if she's asking this quick it would raise a red flag with me, and believe me once they're in
it's a much bigger deal to end it than if you keep your own places.
(especially if you own the place, because you are now their landlord)
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[JRBain]

FWIW, I think its way too soon to think about moving in anyway. 6 months is still very young in the relationship

 

This.

 

I'm nearly 6 years into my relationship, not living together (and marrying her next year) and every day I realise how little I know. There's always something new to learn.

 

OP, whilst I've no experience of this myself, I would say that there's no substitute for building a relationship steadily.

 

It's silly to make rash statements and generalisations about it definitely working or not working, as obviously you get couples who meet randomly at a party, have sex 15 minutes later and last a lifetime, and others who wait 6 years until marriage (me) and end up divorcing (hopefully not me).

 

There are so many things that have to happen; companionship, trust, understanding, meshing your two lifestyles together and that kind of thing, and all I'd say is that you don't necessarily want to just throw yourself in there. Take it slow and work it out.

 

I can't be the judge of whether you think your relationship is one that's 'permanent', but in this kind of situation, that probably should be a consideration as well, at this stage in a relationship.

 

Good luck. I hope it works out!

[JRBain]

6 months in? I would think that's a bit early. I lived with 6 girls over the years before I met my wife (been married almost 10 yers now). It obviously has it's +'s and -'s. But you already have a good situation as is. I'd let it go for another 3-6 months and then you know what? You won't have to ask anyones advice, you'll know what to do. if she's asking this quick it would raise a red flag with me, and believe me once they're in it's a much bigger deal to end it than if you keep your own places. (especially if you own the place, because you are now their landlord) Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

Massively this.

[NinjaRaf]

FWIW, my GF and I moved in together after a year. We got along really well. The thing I hated most was not having ME time. When I started with this band, we were on the tail end of the relationship, things were falling apart, I already knew about this other dude in Colombia....she HATED that I was in a band and spending time away from her, even though it was once every 2 weeks, and we werent spending the same time together because I was raging pissed about the whole Colombia thing.

Anyway, I definitely say at least 2 years before moving in together...AT LEAST!!!! Not a day less. And I also say that you need to live with her for at least a year before any marriage stuff is seriously considered...you should both also be over 30, I think, for marriage stuff too...Just my opinions after having a 3.5 year relationship, where you KNOW and TRUST some one utterly completely, with your life and everything you own, and just absolutely everything...then you find out she was being a whore with a dude that she barely new that doesnt speak english and lives in another {censored}ing country for 6 MONTHS behind your back....so, take it for what its worth lol. Im still pretty angry and cynical about it haha.

['63-Strat]

6 months is almost certainly too soon, but of course it depends on the girl/relationship. Is she on Klonopin? Then definitely not. Don't ask me how I know

[Murdoch]

6 months in, and she's asking to move in?????? Dude, do what you want, but to me, that {censored}ing SCREAMS attachment/abandonment issues. Not only that, but possibly psycho as well. She most likely hasn't found many guys that she thought she could care for, or those guys probably either verbally or physically abused her early on. Since you have done neither, she has deemed you to be the guy that she won't lose, the guy she refuses to let go, and will sink grappling hooks into your balls to hold onto you. If you DID decide that you wanted out, even with the epic porkage, you would have an extremely hard time getting rid of her. I smell stalker on this. Tread EXTREMELY carefully, Chris. No {censored}.