Members Chrisjd Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Sorry for the off topic thread, I hardly EVER make these so please tolerate this... I have never lived with a girlfriend before. I recently bought my first house and my girlfriend of 6 months is getting really excited about helping me decorate and even asked me on the first night of me sleeping there if I "would ever let me move in with you?" She has lived with 2 other guys before me, and she says she doesn't like living alone. She lives in an apartment now. I don't want to live with her out of convenience. If I were to let her move in at some point down the road, I would have to see her as long term material. I don't know if I do yet which is why I basically told her "not now" when she asked about moving in. She needs to earn my trust in that she wants to live with me because she really likes me, not because she sees me as a stable guy with his own house(which basically means money in their eyes it seems). So, my question, have the guys here who have lived with their GF's had positive or negative experiences with this? I am afraid of living with her for the fact that I would be around her more and I don't want to kill the fire we have. Our sex is amazing and our chemistry is seemingly good. What changed between you and her and would you do it again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pamackie Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Tried it once, we failed. Left for a while. Tried again, we got married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neilrocks25 Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 I have never lived with a girlfriend before. I recently bought my first house and my girlfriend of 6 months is getting really excited about helping me decorate and even asked me on the first night of me sleeping there if I "would ever let me move in with you?" The words that brings fear to a man's heart. It is a big step, if she can stay with you for a month and its all good go for it, but make sure she keeps her apartment for a couple of months just to be sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SiCkboy78 Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Keep it simple. She stays at her place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NinjaRaf Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Its good and bad. The companionship is great, splitting chores and bills is great, having some one to come home to is awesome...making dinner together, talking about your day, all that stuff...BUT you will lose A LOT of time to yourself. There is no way around it. It was a struggle for me to get 15 minutes a day to play guitar or {censored} around on the computer. Overall good, but make sure you can keep YOUR time...that was my biggest complaint. Also, make sure you get along REALLY WELL, or it wont work. And try to make sure you guys are on the same page as far as cleanliness and neatness go...I was very neat and she wasnt and it drove me up the {censored}ing wall!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Slim Jim Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Its good and bad. The companionship is great, splitting chores and bills is great, having some one to come home to is awesome...making dinner together, talking about your day, all that stuff...BUT you will lose A LOT of time to yourself. There is no way around it. It was a struggle for me to get 15 minutes a day to play guitar or {censored} around on the computer. Overall good, but make sure you can keep YOUR time...that was my biggest complaint. Also, make sure you get along REALLY WELL, or it wont work. And try to make sure you guys are on the same page as far as cleanliness and neatness go...I was very neat and she wasnt and it drove me up the {censored}ing wall!! This. That's the biggest downer. But that also goes with being in a relationship. Its important to still have a sense of identity. Statistically speaking of course, it was shown in a study a few years back that couples who lived with each other before they got married had a higher rate of divorce. Not tryin to be a negative nancy here, but if you do doit, good luck. Remember to set some rules and boundaries. EDIT: FWIW, I think its way too soon to think about moving in anyway. 6 months is still very young in the relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missingastring Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 If she says "let's get married... tomorrow!", would you do it? NO? Then why the {censored} would you let her in your house? Don't {censored} around with this situation. Ask me how I know this! ASK ME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zacman0126 Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 It's kind of tricky and depends on the relationship. I am really lucky and have one hell of a gal. We both realize we need our time to ourselves, so she has her laptop and her tv shows, I have my basement with my music stuff and video games. If you're seeing this chick like once a week, that's one hell of a jump and imo I wouldn't do it until you start seeing her more often and know that you can tolerate her. I jumped right into it because it actually happened to be a matter of convenience. She was going to school and was going to move on to the university campus, I would then in turn have to drive like half an hour just to see her. We decided it was best that we live all together as she only had one morning class anyways. This all happened about 3-4 months into dating. We're fine and been going steady and living together for well over a year now. She tolerates alot of my {censored} though, so I've got to give credit where it's due. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shine Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 It really depends on the girl and relationship. If you're in a committed relationship that is heading towards marriage then ok. But a casual relationship, no way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sixtonoize Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 In my opinion, you need to date for at least 2 years before you even consider moving in together. Before that, people can keep up one hell of a facade - right around a year and a half it starts to fall apart, and by 2 years you should have a decent representation of the person you're actually dating as opposed to the person you think you're dating. I'm really {censored}ing glad that I didn't move in with my previous girlfriends, but living with my last girlfriend (now wife) was no big deal. Also, live with someone for at least a year before thinking about getting married. The same logic applies as the first paragraph, only it's half as long because you should already know each other pretty well by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ron Burgandy Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Tell her you think it's a great idea, help her move her stuff in, wait until her old apartment is out of the picture, and then tell her to get lost. No bitch just asks if she can move in on day one. After this little exercise in woman placement, she probably won't ever ask that question again. Like a good girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RSBro Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 After 6 mo's? I wouldn't.But that's enough time for her to keep crap over at your house and stay over often. But she still needs a place to call her own after that short of time, IMO.I had a gf 2 jobs ago who had about a 20min commute for a few months before she moved into town, so during the week she'd stay at my house like she lived there, but if there were fights, etc. she had a place to go. So, that's risky, just sayin'. Teh sexx time slows down too when they're there 24/7 too... :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sixtonoize Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Tell her you think it's a great idea, help her move her stuff in, wait until her old apartment is out of the picture, and then tell her to get lost. No bitch just asks if she can move in on day one. After this little exercise in woman placement, she probably won't ever ask that question again. Like a good girl. ^^^^ Also, this. Any chick that starts talking about moving in together immediately definitely has issues. I'm guessing that "doesn't like to live alone" is code for "has serious abandonment issues" and "will probably cheat on you with some old dude who smells like her father." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Flogger59 Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 In my opinion, you need to date for at least 2 years before you even consider moving in together. Before that, people can keep up one hell of a facade - right around a year and a half it starts to fall apart, and by 2 years you should have a decent representation of the person you're actually dating as opposed to the person you think you're dating.I'm really {censored}ing glad that I didn't move in with my previous girlfriends, but living with my last girlfriend (now wife) was no big deal. Also, live with someone for at least a year before thinking about getting married. The same logic applies as the first paragraph, only it's half as long because you should already know each other pretty well by now. This is gold. I knew my ex for 2 years before we got married, but as it was an inter continental relationship, I'd only seen her in the summer. The first winter was hell, and that was the good one. I dated my current wife for 3 years, and then we bought a house together. Didn't get married until 6 years after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ron Burgandy Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 ^^^^ Also, this.Any chick that starts talking about moving in together immediately definitely has issues.I'm guessing that "doesn't like to live alone" is code for "has serious abandonment issues" and "will probably cheat on you with some old dude who smells like her father." Or become hyper clingy. Also, play a bunch of mind games with her, and get your wild sex on. Basically, try to drive her away in the most awesome way possible. Either she'll get the hint and leave, or by the time her old apartment is completely gone, you can just tell her to get lost. Then make midnight booty calls to her for the next few months, but only when you're raging drunk, so she knows how little she meant to you. Laugh when she starts crying... ya know, the stuff women hate. Especially the ones that are head over heels for you at this early stage in the game. They need to be taught valuable life lessons on how to behave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chrisjd Posted July 22, 2010 Author Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 You guys are awesome, thanks for the responses. If multi-quote worked right now i would respond to everyone. She stays over once or twice during the week and then Friday through Sunday. No problems.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missingastring Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Or become hyper clingy.Or both.That was my experience. "Hold me.... DON'T TOUCH ME!" I should also add that this was the girl I thought I had waited my whole life for. Drastic transformation was drastic. The metamorphosis started about 2 weeks after she moved in with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members metalhobo Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Familiarity breeds contempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chrisjd Posted July 22, 2010 Author Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 ^^^^ Also, this.Any chick that starts talking about moving in together immediately definitely has issues.I'm guessing that "doesn't like to live alone" is code for "has serious abandonment issues" and "will probably cheat on you with some old dude who smells like her father." Interesting........ Her father actually passed away when she was 10 and she does have some fears of abandonment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chrisjd Posted July 22, 2010 Author Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 If she says "let's get married... tomorrow!", would you do it? NO? Then why the {censored} would you let her in your house? Don't {censored} around with this situation. Ask me how I know this! ASK ME! How do you know this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MetalHed Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 In my opinion, you need to date for at least 2 years before you even consider moving in together. Before that, people can keep up one hell of a facade - right around a year and a half it starts to fall apart, and by 2 years you should have a decent representation of the person you're actually dating as opposed to the person you think you're dating. This is the bottom line. You really don't even know her yet, women spend a long time pretending to be someone else before you ever find out what they're really like. Most guys don't find out what they're really like until they're in way too deep to get out easily, which is their plan. I personally found a short cut to finding out what any given women I'm dating is really like. Once they think you're not going to head for the hills at the first sign of trouble, they typically let their guard down and start acting like themself instead of carrying on the charade. So, I make em think they're going to be around for the long haul, and then they start to let their guard down and I get to see their true colors. If the person they become at that point is someone you want to be with, you're golden. If her behavior takes a nose dive, you know you were being duped up to that point, and you kick her worthless ass to the curb. If she gets pissed that you misled her, tell her she's the a-hole for trying to mislead you, and she deserves what she got. Or as I like to say, "you made your bed, you can sleep in it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ron Burgandy Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 You guys are awesome, thanks for the responses. If multi-quote worked right now i would respond to everyone. She stays over once or twice during the week and then Friday through Sunday. No problems.... Sounds like you've got a good handle on it. Most important is saying no on the front end Majority of guys fail to stand up to the {censored}. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RSBro Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 She stays over once or twice during the week and then Friday through Sunday. No problems.... Good, easy start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sixtonoize Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 Interesting........Her father actually passed away when she was 10 and she does have some fears of abandonment. Yup...I've dated that girl. You know the one that I said I was {censored}ing glad that I didn't move in with?I'm sure that you can tell where this is going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missingastring Posted July 22, 2010 Members Share Posted July 22, 2010 How do you know this? I was dating a girl who was way too attractive to be interested in me. I saw what I wanted to see; a girl who loved me for me. When she moved in, I saw a paranoid nutjob... I'm not exaggerating... Her family, after she let me meet them, confessed they think she has a Borderline Personality. She has a history of mental illness in her family (mother was commited in the late 80's for suicide attempts, for one). Crazy bitch is crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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