Kids = no sportscar

[drewl]

I have kids and a sports car

[Scott Fonseca]

If you both have agreed to this, that's awesome. I have a fifteen month old daughter, I could not imagine my life without her. Being able to see her and my wife everyday makes my life meaningful to me. Unfortunately, too many people who don't want kids, have them anyways. You are doing the right thing. Too many children feel neglected, or like they kept their parents from doing what they wanted. By avoiding having children, you make sure that will not happen. I have respect for you for not just having kids for the sake of having kids.

[Furtive]

The Beatles said "All You Need Is Love."

 

Furtive says: "All You Need Is A Vasectomy."

[telephant]

Lets top this {censored} off right. If you think, for one second, you're special for having kids... You're a moron. Or you think somehow you can reach through a computer screen and judge some one, you're a moron. So now you're saying, "wait a minute, aren't you talking {censored}?" You goddamn right I am.

 

 

See I'm confused. You guys argue about this dumb {censored}.. I've read Draelyc say he believes in {censored}ing miracles and witnessed it first hand. That is grade A {censored}ing nuttiness. And none of you called him out for that ridiculous {censored}. But call out homeboy for not wanting kids?

 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you mother{censored}ers literally disgust me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now who is high horsin' what?

[satannica]

Not so much their decision not to have kids. That's their call and could actually be a great favor to all of us. What I call retarded is people saying that kids mean the end of their financial freedom or something. That's just bull{censored}. There are many people out there who can take care of their kids AND have a great life of their own. If these guys can't, then yeah they shouldn't have kids at all, but STFU about those who are doing it and doing it fine.

 

 

Again, you can't just call a blanket comparison between one person's life and another. I'm glad you're doing it fine and I think that's great, but the reality is you can't just say "I'm doing it, you must be a ******. Again, I live in the UK where you're taxed for {censored}ting in the morning. Having kids is an extremely life-changing, very real choice most people who work for a living have to make; you either have 1-2 kids as that's all you can realistically financially afford without filing for bankrupsy, lose an income to look after the kids and basically live hand to mouth if you're lucky, or even ending up in massive debt.

 

I'm nothing special; I come from an educated background and I've worked since I was 11 years old, between garden centers, building sites, etc. The fact is, I spent most of my 20s paying down debts from University, at one stage after being made redundant, I was staring at my finances excel sheet (I map out my finances moths/years in advance) and {censored} myself when I saw in big red letters "You're broke." I made the tough decision to blanket-sell gear to plug the gap (I didn't have much anyway) and work as many roles as I could get. I've seen plenty enough hardship. It's really not a place I want to go to ever again.

 

However, I still know a lot of my old University friends as we keep in contact (it's a musician thing). Of the 25 or so in my class, one has gone on to have a family life. That's great, but throughout my 20s, the topics of conversations with those guys pretty much revolved around paying down debts, getting jobs sorted, etc. The prospect of family life is just unaffordable in your 20s as you're paying down debt and it's only really that you can actually start living at 30. Such is the case for, I hasten to say it, the middle classes.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9504062/Middle-class-couples-risking-the-family-name-with-few-kids.html

 

I've only really been where I want to be financially for about a year or so. I'm mortgage free after working day and nights (literally) for about 8 years and overpaying. I bough two flats in 2012 as rental properties and considering a third - bear in mind I have no pension, things like that don't exist anymore. My rental properties ARE my pension. Compared to my old Uni buddies, I'm pretty much the only one in this position, the others are still paying down debts - ironically I just helped one of them get into another job after 4 months of redundancy. I cannot imagine how things would have been for her if she had had kids too!

 

Given I'm basically OK right now, the prospect of having kids is just unfathomable to me. For one, I want to enjoy life a bit first, go on holiday for the first time, renovate my house, buy some nice gear, invest in my bands, etc. I don't want to have to worry about child minders, etc. Another thing, life has taught me that no matter how well you think you're doing right now, there's a lot that could change to royally {censored} that up. I don't mean kids, I mean major changes in the economy, losing jobs, falling ill, etc. The nice thing about mapping my finances out in excel is you can sandbox what the future holds. Quite honestly, a couple of major life changes and I'd be flat broke! A lot of that risk comes with a Labour election win, but that's another conversation. TBH, I can't see how that would be any different for anyone else in similar positions.

 

A lot of my friends who were DINKs and went to SIWC (single income with children) are very far from living the life of reilley. No more holidays, no more fancy gear, budget cars, etc. Not that it's bad living, but considering that any major financial down turn for them would render them, well, {censored}ed!

 

Realistically, I wouldn't be hardline against the prospect of kids myself. It's not something that deep down I'm completely against. The fact is, when you weigh up the cost to life, bank balance, it's not something I'm choosing. Just being flippant and saying "it's a great favour" that retards like us aren't breeding. Well, genius, the biggest breeders are the non-working poor and uneducated who are raising more non-working, poor and uneducated kids. I doubt many of these white t-shirt wearing chavs are going to be curing cancer anytime soon; they can barely count past ten!

[telephant]

The fact that you morons are {censored}ing comparing lives is {censored}ing sad and dumb. How old are you idiots? Gat damn people, grow some hair on your peaches.

[Y0UNGBL00D]

She's knocked up within the next year. I call it now.

mother{censored}ing this

[Neilrocks25]

 

Again, you can't just call a blanket comparison between one person's life and another. I'm glad you're doing it fine and I think that's great, but the reality is you can't just say "I'm doing it, you must be a ******. Again, I live in the UK where you're taxed for {censored}ting in the morning. Having kids is an extremely life-changing, very real choice most people who work for a living have to make; you either have 1-2 kids as that's all you can realistically financially afford without filing for bankrupsy, lose an income to look after the kids and basically live hand to mouth if you're lucky, or even ending up in massive debt. I'm nothing special; I come from an educated background and I've worked since I was 11 years old, between garden centers, building sites, etc. The fact is, I spent most of my 20s paying down debts from University, at one stage after being made redundant, I was staring at my finances excel sheet (I map out my finances moths/years in advance) and {censored} myself when I saw in big red letters "You're broke." I made the tough decision to blanket-sell gear to plug the gap (I didn't have much anyway) and work as many roles as I could get. I've seen plenty enough hardship. It's really not a place I want to go to ever again. However, I still know a lot of my old University friends as we keep in contact (it's a musician thing). Of the 25 or so in my class, one has gone on to have a family life. That's great, but throughout my 20s, the topics of conversations with those guys pretty much revolved around paying down debts, getting jobs sorted, etc. The prospect of family life is just unaffordable in your 20s as you're paying down debt and it's only really that you can actually start living at 30. Such is the case for, I hasten to say it, the middle classes. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9504062/Middle-class-couples-risking-the-family-name-with-few-kids.html I've only really been where I want to be financially for about a year or so. I'm mortgage free after working day and nights (literally) for about 8 years and overpaying. I bough two flats in 2012 as rental properties and considering a third - bear in mind I have no pension, things like that don't exist anymore. My rental properties ARE my pension. Compared to my old Uni buddies, I'm pretty much the only one in this position, the others are still paying down debts - ironically I just helped one of them get into another job after 4 months of redundancy. I cannot imagine how things would have been for her if she had had kids too! Given I'm basically OK right now, the prospect of having kids is just unfathomable to me. For one, I want to enjoy life a bit first, go on holiday for the first time, renovate my house, buy some nice gear, invest in my bands, etc. I don't want to have to worry about child minders, etc. Another thing, life has taught me that no matter how well you think you're doing right now, there's a lot that could change to royally {censored} that up. I don't mean kids, I mean major changes in the economy, losing jobs, falling ill, etc. The nice thing about mapping my finances out in excel is you can sandbox what the future holds. Quite honestly, a couple of major life changes and I'd be flat broke! A lot of that risk comes with a Labour election win, but that's another conversation. TBH, I can't see how that would be any different for anyone else in similar positions. A lot of my friends who were DINKs and went to SIWC (single income with children) are very far from living the life of reilley. No more holidays, no more fancy gear, budget cars, etc. Not that it's bad living, but considering that any major financial down turn for them would render them, well, {censored}ed! Realistically, I wouldn't be hardline against the prospect of kids myself. It's not something that deep down I'm completely against. The fact is, when you weigh up the cost to life, bank balance, it's not something I'm choosing. Just being flippant and saying "it's a great favour" that retards like us aren't breeding. Well, genius, the biggest breeders are the non-working poor and uneducated who are raising more non-working, poor and uneducated kids. I doubt many of these white t-shirt wearing chavs are going to be curing cancer anytime soon; they can barely count past ten!

 

 

Actually you are better off having kids in the UK compared with other countries.

No Tax on Food

No tax on baby products or children under 16 (clothes etc.)

child benefits

Free health care.

 

Jon its not as bad as you say, I am a father I know this {censored} and I can compare it with living abroad

[jlb32]

It's a personal choice. To me to many have kids just because they think it's something that's expected. It's a drastic life change that some just can't handle.

[satannica]

 

Actually you are better off having kids in the UK compared with other countries. No Tax on Food No tax on baby products or children under 16 (clothes etc.) child benefits Free health care. Jon its not as bad as you say, I am a father I know this {censored} and I can compare it with living abroad

 

 

Sorry, I feel you're wrong on this subject. But whatevs.

[ShaneV2]

 

The fact that you morons are {censored}ing comparing lives is {censored}ing sad and dumb. How old are you idiots? Gat damn people, grow some hair on your peaches.

 

 

My life could beat up your life.

 

One thing's for sure though: people with awesome lives always, always feel the need to prove how awesome they are on internet forums.

[NeloAngelo]

 

My life could beat up your life. One thing's for sure though: people with awesome lives always, always feel the need to prove how awesome they are on internet forums.

 

their lives are so awesome that they spend a majority of their days on the internet.

[tech21man]

 

If you both have agreed to this, that's awesome. I have a fifteen month old daughter, I could not imagine my life without her. Being able to see her and my wife everyday makes my life meaningful to me. Unfortunately, too many people who don't want kids, have them anyways. You are doing the right thing. Too many children feel neglected, or like they kept their parents from doing what they wanted. By avoiding having children, you make sure that will not happen. I have respect for you for not just having kids for the sake of having kids.

 

 

Absolutely agree. I have an 18 month daughter and if I didn't want to have kids it would be much easier to decide it before having one. Now, after this experience which I could never imagine how happy it would make me, I can't even try to think the life with my wife before the kid. If you haven't experienced it you don't know what you are missing.

 

And, I still travel with my wife, play guitar and gig, bussiness is going fine, etc. Is it more difficult and costly to have kids and live the way you like? Yes it is but if you start to think logistically about the whole thing well, maybe you are not even fit for it.

 

A great detail though remains that I always wanted to have children even before I met my wife. I am 31 and I was blessed or lucky enough to have the child the exact minute we decided it...It's been a stream of positive feelings ever since even if it is 1000xtimes more difficult and tiresome.

 

But I have a question for the OP and I mean it with everything good, why the thread? If I decided not to have children and I respect anybody who does so, I wouldn't even anounce it, post a thread on this forum or whatever. Could it be that you are having second thoughts?

 

 

And {censored} yes you can have kids and a sportscar.

[uppercasenoises]

 

Free health care.

 

 

 

 

I agree with socialized healthcare, but it's not "free".

[shane159]

I have 2 kids and have owned several different sports cars, that assumption is incorrect. They will, however, change your life in ways you can't imagine.

 

 

This!! I could not imagine not having my daughters in my life. They have not stopped me and the wife from having anything, in fact having children changed both of us for the better. Since having children we now own our own business, two antique cars, and we always are doing stuff with the girls. That being said, if someone doesn't want kids I don't see any selfishness in that.

[rushtallica]

 

Absolutely agree. I have an 18 month daughter and if I didn't want to have kids it would be much easier to decide it before having one. Now, after this experience which I could never imagine how happy it would make me, I can't even try to think the life with my wife before the kid. If you haven't experienced it you don't know what you are missing. And, I still travel with my wife, play guitar and gig, bussiness is going fine, etc. Is it more difficult and costly to have kids and live the way you like? Yes it is but if you start to think logistically about the whole thing well, maybe you are not even fit for it. A great detail though remains that I always wanted to have children even before I met my wife. I am 31 and I was blessed or lucky enough to have the child the exact minute we decided it...It's been a stream of positive feelings ever since even if it is 1000xtimes more difficult and tiresome. But I have a question for the OP and I mean it with everything good, why the thread? If I decided not to have children and I respect anybody who does so, I wouldn't even anounce it, post a thread on this forum or whatever. Could it be that you are having second thoughts? And {censored} yes you can have kids and a sportscar.

 

 

I disagree with that and can understand where some posters are coming from regarding bias on either side in this thread. While your post is good, that specific statement makes it seem someone making a decision to avoid having children is a moron and incapable of being a parent. I think anyone who takes the time to logically think about whether or not to have children is at least somewhat intelligent.

[Jisatsu]

I'm that guy who doesn't want kids. I know plenty of women that are in the same boat, including my current girlfriend. I've coached peewee hockey for 4 years, and to be honest, I can handle children for about an hour at a time, then it's off to your parents you go. If that makes me a bad person, then oh well. I don't believe in marriage either. A lot of people have {censored} to say about not being a parent, but sometimes it feels like either honest jealousy, or some sort of weird moral obligation they are projecting on others. I'm 33 btw, and in 2 years I'm getting a vasectomy. I might change my mind by then, but I highly doubt it.

I read somewhere in this thread that someone said they would definitely adopt before having children. I agree with this statement. So many children already in need of a good home and good parents, and I guarantee most of the people who say that it's wrong not to have children of your own wouldn't lift a finger to save one of those poor children floating from halfway house to foster home to the streets as soon as they are 17.

[satannica]

 

I disagree with that and can understand where some posters are coming from regarding bias on either side in this thread. While your post is good, that specific statement makes it seem someone making a decision to avoid having children is a moron and incapable of being a parent. I think anyone who takes the time to logically think about whether or not to have children is at least somewhat intelligent.

 

 

Hear hear. I felt, approx 2 years ago, to do the job of a parent who was incapable.

 

I used to frequent a supermarket local to one of my jobs for lunches, etc. There was this kid about 8 years old who used to run around and his little fun thing to do was to bite people on the arm or neck when they weren't paying attention and laugh about it. If you were to say anything to either reprimand or question what the {censored} he was doing, you'd be faced with a fat troll of a flab-armed mother coming straight at you with all eyes on kill with a breath to match. I had the pleasure of this little cunt twice and both times faced with his Mom coming straight up on me giving me what for in the middle of the supermarket. I also saw other people suffer at the hands of this glorious little {censored}.

 

One day, I was browsing through Guitar Techniques and suddenly rummaging my pocket for my ringing mobile phone. Wouldn't you know it this {censored} sinks his teeth straight into my arm I was brandishing the magazine in. It turns out the little {censored} actually broke the skin and I had two teeth marks with blood pouring out. Of course, sunshine thinks the whole thing is hillarious. But I'm smart. And I'm about to show the world that words can often be louder than actions.

 

Now this next part, I should win an Oscar for!

 

Seeing the laughing {censored}bag, I notice some of my blood has transferred to his gaping top tooth. I then put on my worried face and plead with the boy "Dude, spit it out! Spit it out now, spit right now!!!" Sure enough, Essex Mom comes trumping over, red broken-skin face already aimed straight for me. She starts with a "Don't you {censored}en talk to my son like that!"... I then clarify the situation with a hasty and urgent "Your kid bit me and made me bleed. I can see it on his tooth; I'm HIV Positive!"

 

If I could have filmed her expression turn from ave-a-go into pure panic, the expression on {censored}bag's face turn from laughing to Oh-{censored}, it would have been pure gold! She's now telling him to spit, the people around us in the middle of the supermarket's faces just DROP! I just say "Well, you'd better get him down the clinic then, hadn't you! Maybe if he behaved himself in public, you wouldn't have this kind of problem!".

 

Picking up my magazine, I pick up a sandwich and drink from the shelf and walk towards the checkout. She's screaming obscenities, I assure you. It's really awesome to see just how homophobic people automatically become. Not just Essex Mom, but even the old bloke stood there gawping at the situation even musters as "disgusting poof" as I walk to the checkout. I hand the checkout girl a

[drewl]

Some people should definitely not have kids.

[LuckisforLosers]

Children require a lot of time, money, and energy (and of course a willing partner ). None of which I currently have. And I hate kids.

Ultimately the decision to have children should rest upon competent and well-to-do couples who can handle it, not people who were too drunk to use rubber and now try to justify their poor choices in life.

So I'm happy for anyone who has kids (and a sportscar!) and loves them or whatever but those who look down on others for not wanting kids can go {censored} themselves. You can't hide the disappointment in your life by pointing out the shortcomings in others.

[tech21man]

 

I disagree with that and can understand where some posters are coming from regarding bias on either side in this thread. While your post is good, that specific statement makes it seem someone making a decision to avoid having children is a moron and incapable of being a parent. I think anyone who takes the time to logically think about whether or not to have children is at least somewhat intelligent.

 

 

Maybe I should elaborate. And correct my post because you are right and it comes out a bit differently than I felt. (English is definately my native language...). Fit is indeed a strong word perhaps incorrect given the context and I also think that whoever avoids having children is not a moron. It screams responsibility for some people's point of view. But if you indeed want to have children and be responsible towards them, it kind of needs rearranging some priorities in your life (as also the OP states). Ideally, people should have enough money to at least manage to raise their children the way they think it is the correct way...Sometimes both extremes are unpleasant. Not having enough, or having more than enough and not give a {censored} and ruin them in a sense. Maybe middle ground is (end up "spending" or investing on your kids or getting a better job for the house instead of a home cinema and a sportscar as the OP describes) where some people are afraid to step in.

 

But I still feel, that if somebody ends up with the decision to not have children it ...shouldn't be based on logistics. Yes, to have children needs the afforementioned intelligence (logistics) to see them through everything, from their birth to I guess their indepedence (like HKSblade did?) and sometimes even after that (I pray that I will be economically well to help my children as more as I can in every stage of their life. I feel this way). Maybe because the country I am from (Greece) suffered so much economically, slavery, its own faults etc, the recession now but in that sense and if somebody sees the math on having children or not, then maybe everybody would end up not having children. I would sacrifiise anything of the "stuff" that keep me "happy" so as to marry and have children if need be. And if I should have to raise them with the basics, I would, at least as long as their is health around. So fit? Maybe wrong word. I still think you can't easily "apply" logistics on this decision. I think you have to have it in you. My wife's grand father, was ruined economically twice you know, once after WWII and once after the civil war here. Both times, he had a lot to lose, houses, bussiness (of the time), both times he was a rich man when the circumstances took so much away from him but he never (and his timeline) said no to having children (married in an older age and before the civil war.) and even after that he ended up doing great though through hard work. Put his sons through college abroad (in italy) and helped them both today being succesfull. Determination and sense of responsibility and even the fire in him to have a family. So did my grandfather.

 

 

In the end...it also feels weird to me to marry and decide to not have children. I mean, if you want to spend your years the best way for you maybe marrying or devoting to one woman/house isn't even a good option. You can have more money for yourself and bang more women without having anything to do with another person. Possible divorces and such. I speak personally (doesn't anybody here?) but if I haven't found my wife, the person that inspires to actually go through it, I wouldn't marry and become a father just for the sake of it, even if I knew that I wanted to have children one day. I am sure many people don't feel like this at all anyway, I surely can't feel any other way!

[JohnnyDD]

some couples choose not to have children. some choose to have children. some are not able to have children and they adopt or choose not to. the end.

[Carvinendorser]

You guys will be swingers within a year, I call it. Just kidding, but it could be fun...

 

Yeah, you might regret it, maybe not. Still your choice. I have a friend that told me several years ago he and his wife weren't gonna have kids cause of her heart problems. He probably forgot he tld me that and now is mr anti kid to the point where I think Im done with him.

 

I have 2. They are fun, annoying, time consuming and costly but I love them more than life itself.

 

In some weird way I dont see the point in being married if you're not having them. Just my opinion dont get pissy.

 

This might sound morbid but I told my wife my hope is to make it to my 80's and if I can look up from my death bed and see my two sons, who are atleast responsible adults, I will die a happy man. Hopefully she will be standing there with them as well.

[HRM]

 

You guys will be swingers within a year, I call it. Just kidding, but it could be fun... Yeah, you might regret it, maybe not. Still your choice. I have a friend that told me several years ago he and his wife weren't gonna have kids cause of her heart problems. He probably forgot he tld me that and now is mr anti kid to the point where I think Im done with him. I have 2. They are fun, annoying, time consuming and costly but I love them more than life itself. In some weird way I dont see the point in being married if you're not having them. Just my opinion dont get pissy. This might sound morbid but I told my wife my hope is to make it to my 80's and if I can look up from my death bed and see my two sons, who are atleast responsible adults, I will die a happy man. Hopefully she will be standing there with them as well.

 

 

It is fun. And we DO have a kid, though I'll admit having her toned down the extracurriculars a bit.

[Junk Yard Dog]

We're 29 and 30, so not that young

 

 

You're definitely not ready for kids, which is why you don't want them. Talk to us when you're turning 40...kid.