Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 I know this is the wrong place for this thread, but I really trusts your guys' opinions the most. I get a call from my fiancee the other day. She tells me a creepy looking guy came to her door and knocked. She answered the door, but didn't open it all the way. He said, "whoah, your cuter than I thought you'd be". Then he said he was looking for the person who lived in the apartment previously. She replied she didn't have any idea. Then he kept asking he if could come inside, to which she said no, and shut the door and locked it. A little later she hears a another knock at the door, and she thinks it is me because it is the way only I knock. She was in the shower so it took her a while to answer the door. When she got there no one was there, but she saw the creepy guy's car. As soon as I hear about this I pack up all the stuff in my dorm, put it in my car, and go down there. Was planning to anyway, only finals week left, so just a week early. Later that day someone comes to the door and I answer. It was one of ther neighbors who saw the creey guy and was asking if she was okay. I find out from him that the creepy guy was going around and knocking on doors asking people about her, asking about the blonde girl that usually wears such and such clothes and has a certain color book bag, etc. At least there a neighbors that watch out for each other there. He says he is going to confront the creepy guy if he sees him around (and the neighbor guy is pretty big). The next day she reports the incident to the lease office, and they told her to call the cops if she is approached by him again, which is what I told her to do. The lease office is also going to notify other residents about him. To me it sounds like he has been watching her for a while, because how else would he know what she usually wears or the way I knock. If he has been watching, then at least he should know I'm there now, as there aren't too many 20 year old faded blue Crown Vics around. I'm going to buy her some pepper spray to have by the door, and the next time I'm at my parents house I'm going to get my old baseball bat and my carbon steel machete (just in case there is another creep that ever comes to her apartment that happens to be bigger than me). What do you guys make of all this? Any advice or comments? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OldGuitarPlayer Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Notify the police immediately...and I mean like yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Notify the police immediately...and I mean like yesterday. +1 The machete is a nice touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members totamus Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Notify the police immediately...and I mean like yesterday. +1000 Not sure where you live, But I personally believe in arming yourself. There are too many stories of people who call 911 and wait for help while they are being victimized (raped, killed, robbed, tortured). If he shows up again, whether he is bothering her or not, she should call police and try to get them there to talk to him before he does something. A gun isn't to take things into your own hands, but as a means of last defense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members panhandler Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Dis be a job fo da...PO-LICE!They should be called and his description in detail given to them. He MAY be stalking others as well and the description could help someone else if not her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JerseyGuy Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Funny you should ask. I'm a lawyer here in central NJ and I just finished up a court appointment to represent a guy in a domestic violence case; his girlfriend had gotten a restraining order entered against him and he was accused of violating it. I don't know where you live, but do call the police and have them take statements from those in the building as well as your fiancee and get a restraining order from the court against him. Your state may also have what's referred to here (where it originated) as Megan's List, a registry of convicted sex offenders. The cops will know all about it. Call the police immediately and tell them you want a restraining order. If he shows up after the order is entered, he's looking at being a guest of the state for a while. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members outdoorgb Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members knockwood Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 If your girlfriend already knows the guy's car by sight, get that license number if it shows up again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jake7 Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Can o' CS gas for her protection I reckon. That's really unnerving, you right to be worried.....I would also ask a local cop if he could maybe take the guy to one side if he is seen again, and tell him not to go to her apartment again, as he has no buisness doing so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jake7 Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 I'd sooner give her mace than have her kick him in the nuts, if he closes the distance it's still effective. I used to be a nightclub doorman/bouncer, and because I'm a fairly big dude, or was when I was doing that job and training alot,the first thing anyone smaller than me would do was try and kick me in the stones....I actually got to where I would wear a cup to work for that very reason. He might do the same.If the neighbours are close and present a personal panic alarm may be a good idea....the small airhorn type.....let off in his ear and to wake the neighbours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ohioarrow Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Notify the police immediately...and I mean like yesterday. +10000 - Day before yesterday would be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ohioarrow Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 +1000Not sure where you live, But I personally believe in arming yourself. There are too many stories of people who call 911 and wait for help while they are being victimized (raped, killed, robbed, tortured). If he shows up again, whether he is bothering her or not, she should call police and try to get them there to talk to him before he does something. A gun isn't to take things into your own hands, but as a means of last defense. I agree with this. I am not exactly a gun fan, but it has it's place especially for a live alone woman. The sorry assed sad thing is, it's not like the movies, Cops usually only arrive in time for clean up and statement taking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 If someone can get the guy's license number she should give that to the cops. She may also be able to get a restraining order. I'd watch out for the ball bat and the machete. You should grab the pepper spray. The police, of course, are likely the best way to handle this. Document all the sightings of the creep. Document all contact with the police -- for a restraining order -- or in case there is serious trouble and you do end up going after this guy you're going to need every scrap of info at your disposal -- but my recommendation is to only take defensive action. The law typically frowns on "pro-active" action in situations like this. But do take this seriously. Your GF's neighbors are good defense. Make sure she's got everyone's phone number and they have hers and yours. You guys should probably even consider drilling on what she'll do if she's home alone and she sees him again or he comes to the door or is lurking around. Also drill on what you'll do. You want this to become automatic so you don't get flustered or over-excited and react improperly. And you don't want her to panic but to have overlapping courses of action for various possibilities. Good luck. Stay calm. But take it seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Berkleo Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Get this book and make sure both you and your girlfriend read it - twice. It details the techniques used by stalkers and opportunistic criminals and how to combat them. Really, REALLY worth the read. "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440508835/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209749574&sr=8-1 I've given away maybe half a dozen copies myself.....It's worth the money and the time and it has the answers you need...Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bjorn-fjord Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Don't let her go anywhere alone. Sexual predator types are scared off by the presence of anyone besides the intended victim. Even if she's with a female friend she's many times safer than she would be alone. Probably the most dangerous place for her to be alone is between the door of her building and her car, assuming she drives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members melandy Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 If she has a camera handy, maybe try to take a picture if he shows up again... thousand words and what-not. If she tries this, I would STRONGLY recommend she take it in such a way as he does not realize he's being photographed (e.g. through a window while he's sitting in the car or walking around looking for people to harass about her). No telling how he would react to his picture being taken in a case like this... might come through the door. EDIT: Oh, and another +1 to calling the cops now (not waiting for next time). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DeepEnd Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 . . . my recommendation is to only take defensive action. The law typically frowns on "pro-active" action in situations like this. But do take this seriously. Your GF's neighbors are good defense. Make sure she's got everyone's phone number and they have hers and yours. . . . +1 Unfortunately, you (or your fiancee) can't simply start wailing on the guy because he comes to the door. You have to be protecting yourself and you have to have reason to believe he intends to harm you/her. Reason you can articulate to the cop who shows up afterward. That means you have to remain calm no matter what happens. Practice drills are probably a good idea. And, yes, if you haven't called the police already, do it now!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SDshirtman Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Scary stuff. I like the idea of taking a picture of him. Better yet, CCV cameras are cheap these days. Set one up for your records and get him in the act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members outdoorgb Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Scary stuff. I like the idea of taking a picture of him. Better yet, CCV cameras are cheap these days. Set one up for your records and get him in the act. OK, now I'm scared...what the hell is that avitar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T.B. Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Don't let her go anywhere alone. Sexual predator types are scared off by the presence of anyone besides the intended victim. Even if she's with a female friend she's many times safer than she would be alone. Probably the most dangerous place for her to be alone is between the door of her building and her car, assuming she drives. +1 If her neighbors would, I'd asked them to take turns watching out and escorting her as she leaves from work/school and coming home, especially dawn and late evenings. Having a "team" of people seen watching out for her will help. If it's not an inconvenience two cell phones -GPS track - wouldn't be a bad idea, one in her jacket pocket/purse and another on her person. She should program them to auto dial the local, county, sheriff, and state police. Just encase, she should give friends, family, neighbors and you a neutral code word/phrase that would let them know if she's in trouble. Another thing, if he knocks on her door again she shouldn't respond (just call the police) these guys seem to think any kind communication is a "relationship". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Li10 Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 call the police. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkeyman Joe Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 LOL at you not calling the cops yet.and i mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really shouldn't have needed us to figure that out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T.B. Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 LOL at you not calling the cops yet.and i mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really shouldn't have needed us to figure that out Well actually no. First: No one knows his name or where he lives in order to fill out protection/restraining order of any kind the police will need more info. Granted, by contacting the police his girlfriend sets up a paper trail that she's concerned about her safety from jump. At that, her family and friends will still have to take proactive measures to try as best as they can not to allow the situation to deteriorate. Having had some personal experience with this........... it started out benign and went down hill, quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sangemon Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Get her a Rainsong. El Cabong! (only us old farts will get that one) :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted May 2, 2008 Members Share Posted May 2, 2008 Not that I advocate violence, but with so many goddamn creep-jobs in the world, if he comes back, beat him within an inch of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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