OT: Creepy guy at my fiancee's apartment

[12Pack]

I remember the days when one might of been interested in a girl and looking to see if she was available for a dinner - movie - whatever sort of potential date. You could approach her to start a conversation without the:

Police
Harrassment
Mace
Pepper Spray
Getting the {censored} kicked out of you




All because you found her attractive and someone you would want to get to know.

[jamesp]

I know this is the wrong place for this thread...

 

 

no comment

[Hoddy]

I remember the days when one might of been interested in a girl and looking to see if she was available for a dinner - movie - whatever sort of potential date. You could approach her to start a conversation without the: Police Harrassment Mace Pepper Spray Getting the {censored} kicked out of you All because you found her attractive and someone you would want to get to know.

 

 

So back in the day where you in the habit of going up and knocking on a complete stranger's door and saying "whoah, your cuter than I thought you'd be"?

[sunshowers]

 

I remember the days when one might of been interested in a girl and looking to see if she was available for a dinner - movie - whatever sort of potential date. You could approach her to start a conversation without the: Police Harrassment Mace Pepper Spray Getting the {censored} kicked out of you All because you found her attractive and someone you would want to get to know.

 

Wow, I have to apologize on behalf of all girls. I'm a bar waitress, and I see it all the time. Poor clueless saps who don't have a clue how to talk to girls, girls who give them about two milliseconds to make a good impression and then write them off as losers or creeps.

 

That said though, here's some insight into how it is from a girl's perspective (not necessarily directed at you, just guys in general) - most girls try not to be mean. Most girls appreciate that the guy is putting himself on the spot and will try to signal their lack of interest while giving him the opportunity to bow out with his dignity intact. For instance, they might cite relationship obstacles such as "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend," or "I just got out of a relationship and I'm not looking for anything right now." Or they might just plain say it, like, "Sorry, not interested," with a smile to lessen the blow.

 

Some guys are perceptive enough to catch the hint and take their cue to move along. The problems arise when the guy is either misses the hint, or worse, takes it personally as an insult and gets upset or angry - and this happens way too often. I'm sorry for the decent guys with good intentions, because this is truly a case of a few rotten apples spoiling the whole bunch.

 

You see, some guys seem to only see and hear what they want to, so there's no way to let him down gently. By the time the girl is able to get him to back off, she's had to cause a scene or completely flatten his ego. And then at the end of it, the guy accuses the girl of leading him on because she tried to be nice about it. Some girls are so fed up with this that they'll just cut guys down straight away to avoid going through the whole song and dance. Moreover, some guys can get downright aggressive and confrontational, even infuriated when they feel they don't deserve to be turned down. It can be pretty scary. After a few instances with guys like these, many girls start to put their guard up permanently.

 

So here's my advice to the decent guys out there. Yes, it's true that girls are attracted to confidence. Thus, it is vital that you stop equating backing off with wussing out. Knowing when to back off is absolutely key. Keep pushing it and "confident" is not how you'll come across - instead, you'll come across as desperate or cocky and belligerent, and these qualities definitely correlate with "creepy" in girls' minds. In fact, taking a hint gracefully exudes far more confidence and is much more likely to catch her attention in a positive way.

[sunshowers]

So back in the day where you in the habit of going up and knocking on a complete stranger's door and saying "whoah, your cuter than I thought you'd be"?

 

LOL, good point.

[Ohioarrow]

Ok then...

Well, I'm thinking this thread has seriously outlived it's credible lifespan.

[DeepEnd]

Unless Joe's girlfriend lives in Mayberry , I seriously doubt the police will assign a car to watch her building. . . .

 

I doubt it too but they might just have a vehicle do extra patrols in her neighborhood. Even if she's not in Mayberry. Which is what I meant originally. Sorry for the confusion, not to mention that I'm sorry I got involved in this discussion in the first place. That said, I agree that this thread has stopped producing useful input.

[Raj]

lots of things

That was really long, and clearly meant with the kindest of intentions... but the OP is already engaged to her, he's not the one turning up at her door

But yeah, I think the lady has a right to be concerned and should keep an eye out, but being a bit weird and creepy isn't a hanging offense. Just a little sad.

[sunshowers]

That was really long, and clearly meant with the kindest of intentions... but the OP is already engaged to her, he's not the one turning up at her door

Um... did you even read my post, or the post I was replying to? If you did, you would see that it was NOT directed at OP at all, it was directed at guys who are scared that trying to hit on a girl will result in getting maced - a fear that was expressed in a response to the subject matter of this thread.

 

BTW, thanks for perfectly illustrating my point - that some guys are really terrible listeners and practically need to be knocked upside the head before they get it.

[DEP]

I remember the days when one might of been interested in a girl and looking to see if she was available for a dinner - movie - whatever sort of potential date. You could approach her to start a conversation without the: Police Harrassment Mace Pepper Spray Getting the {censored} kicked out of you All because you found her attractive and someone you would want to get to know.

 

 

Talk about clueless. A little unclear on the concept, are we? This isn't about approaching a pretty girl for a date, it's about a stalker who tried to enter someone's apartment. Stalker's can be dangerous, even deadly. Dig?

 

And GuitarCapo, what can I say? Your posts on this thread are beyond inappropriate. Crude, rude, juvenile, offensive and more than a little creepy come to mind. I'm nearly 60 and not much shocks me anymore, but your posting pictures of half naked women and making comments about hand jobs on a thread about someone being stalked by a sexual predator is imo reprehensible. Maybe that's your sense of humor, I don't know. Personally I think you've got some serious issues there partner, and I suggest you get some help. I've never felt the need before to use the Ignore list, but after reading your posts here I think it's time.

 

D.

[jamesp]

Dude. That {censored} really sucks. Here's a hot Asian chick to make you feel better:

Wow.
Glasses, tiny cross necklace... seems like a very respectable young woman.
Thanks DEP, I woulda missed that!

[DEP]

Another bozo.

[karma279]

Talk about clueless. A little unclear on the concept, are we? This isn't about approaching a pretty girl for a date, it's about a stalker who tried to enter someone's apartment. Stalker's can be dangerous, even deadly. Dig? And GuitarCapo, what can I say? Your posts on this thread are beyond inappropriate. Crude, rude, juvenile, offensive and more than a little creepy come to mind. I'm nearly 60 and not much shocks me anymore, but your posting pictures of half naked women and making comments about hand jobs on a thread about someone being stalked by a sexual predator is imo reprehensible. Maybe that's your sense of humor, I don't know. Personally I think you've got some serious issues there partner, and I suggest you get some help. I've never felt the need before to use the Ignore list, but after reading your posts here I think it's time. D.

 

 

Wow... a little sensitive eh? I don't the the dude's a creep or anything.......

[DarkHorseJ27]

All these weapon suggestions. In my opinion the ultimate weapon a woman can use against a larger man is a hand-job. Nothing has the stopping power of a well executed hand-job.

 

 

{censored} you.

[jamesp]

[Chirpy_72]

Hopefully while you distract the would be attacker by starting a flurry of internet posts, so she'll have time to slip out the back and find new boyfriend ( who knows how to protect his lady )

[DarkHorseJ27]

Hopefully while you distract the would be attacker by starting a flurry of internet posts, so she'll have time to slip out the back and find new boyfriend ( who knows how to protect his lady )

 

 

Why don't you say that to my face instead of hiding behind your computer?

[3red]

So back in the day where you in the habit of going up and knocking on a complete stranger's door and saying "whoah, your cuter than I thought you'd be"?

mrreeaahhh your cuter than i thought you'd be. mary, is it? saaay wudja like to go to the malt shop with me and have a soda? my treat

[Freeman Keller]

Dark, you have never told us if you (she) has (1) contacted the police, (2) taken out a no-contact order (different states call them by different names), anti-harrassment is another). Forget all the advice about arming her (or if you do, do it right - permit to carry, training, the understanding that if she kills someone intentionally or not it will be with her forever)- let the pros do the work. (my wife is a court clerk and deals with this all the time). Your GF is being stalked, it is a serious crime and appropriate action will be taken against this individual.

Also, ignore those members of this forum who have never grown up. There are some in every group - best is just not feed them.

[jamesp]

Also, ignore those members of this forum who have never grown up. There are some in every group - best is just not feed them.

 

 

Good advice.

Serious grownup-type post.

Note the timestamp.

[DarkHorseJ27]

I don't need this {censored}.

For the people that were mature and gave real advice, I thank you very much.

For those you you that were assholes, go walk into traffic.

HC isn't worth this aggravation.

[Chirpy_72]

I'm not hiding anywhere. I'm simply commenting how silly it is to start internet posts complaining about a problem instead of acutally dealing with it.

Do you think the guy who's interested in your girlfriend is posting about it in a musicians forum? Well maybe the amp forum ....

[simplygoodmusic]

Good advice. Serious grownup-type post. Note the timestamp.

 

 

Silly thread, silly post, posted in the appropriate forum. Out of the way of serioues talks. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Darkhorse... this sounds like a scary situation to be in for your girlfriend. Yes, contact the police, and yes take the precautions, but also, make sure she is doing alright and not getting her TOO paranoid. Once you contact the police, and get things sorted by taking a few precautions, she'll be fine, there is no need to sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow.

 

Its good that you aren't taking this lightly, but keep living life:thu:

[Samilyn]

DarkHorse & Chirpy,

 

That's enough, gentlemen. Please go play some git and cool down. This isn't the place for such discussions.

 

GuitarCapo....you make me sick.

[Sparhawk]

That's enough, gentlemen. Please go play some git and cool down. QUOTE]

At least someone tried to get it to be a git related post. TY Samilyn. Dark, good luck with a difficult situation. As said before by many others, report it and ask the police what steps you should take at this time. My prayers are with you both. May you get a good song out of this. (and may you never see or hear of/from the guy again).

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