Working with bandmates?

[Floyd Rosenbomb]

This will come as no shock to some of you but I never could find a group of people that I could stand working with for the long haul. I have to take some of the blame for that. Mea Culpa. Being a drug abusing drunk in a sea of drug abusing drunks is not a recipe for success (one would assume, anyway).

I suppose there is a lesson there.

Btw, been sober for most of 14 years.

 

Still though, working with other musicians in an original music setting is a challenge. It's like being married to 4 people.

 

Maybe the best road is to really get one's own music together first, get it recorded and then look to bring others in who find your music interesting. I don't know though as I've never has success with it. So, from those of you who have has some success, do you have any advice on keeping things going smoothly?

[jtr654]

The right Chemistry and combo of people can be magic.

[DeepEnd]

Develop a thick skin and realize you're probably not going to get your way very often. Same as a marriage. Back in college I was in a group (not a band per se, two acoustic guitars and vocals) for two years and our bass singer the second year could be a real jerk. We did mostly covers but an occasional original. Currently I've been in a praise band that just does covers for several years and our drummer can be a bit of a prima donna. He won't play if there's no bass, which is why I started playing bass. Our bass player missed practice once because he had to work and our drummer started talking about kicking the guy out of the band. Not your call, dude. Our music director/pianist won't accept suggestions from anyone except the drummer and his wife, our lead singer. I've suggested several songs I'd like to do and somehow they get ignored. Still, it's better than no gig at all and, especially in this case, it's not about me.

[GAS Man]

I can't imagine being in a band that does original material. I'm in a band that does strictly covers and the {censored} taste in music from some of those folks makes me want to bolt. They don't seem to get it, that if I hate a song, I have very very little interest in putting the time into it to do it justice or even create something in my own style to go with it. I'm talking some outdated pop rock {censored}e and and modern trailer trash Country. Anything classic or blues roots rock, I'll do. I don't care if it's Country ( like some Cash or Jennings), Appalachian or blues-rooted rock, but don't ask me to play cheesy sleazy outdated pop tripe.

[Floyd Rosenbomb]

LOL

[Floyd Rosenbomb]

Develop a thick skin and realize you're probably not going to get your way very often. Same as a marriage. Back in college I was in a group (not a band per se, two acoustic guitars and vocals) for two years and our bass singer the second year could be a real jerk. We did mostly covers but an occasional original. Currently I've been in a praise band that just does covers for several years and our drummer can be a bit of a prima donna. He won't play if there's no bass, which is why I started playing bass. Our bass player missed practice once because he had to work and our drummer started talking about kicking the guy out of the band. Not your call, dude. Our music director/pianist won't accept suggestions from anyone except the drummer and his wife, our lead singer. I've suggested several songs I'd like to do and somehow they get ignored. Still, it's better than no gig at all and, especially in this case, it's not about me.

 

I appreciate your approach. That seems to be the story. You have to live with a level of conflict, I suppose, if you want to be in a band. Not sure if thick skin can be grown, or if some just have it and others don't.

 

I also really get that it is not about me. That hard part is when someone else thinks it is all about them.

 

[BeanoBoy]

When I was younger, I was more tolerant. As I've aged, I have little tolerance for b***sh*t. I'm currently ( half heartedly) trying to put something together by organizing sessions at GC once a month. So far I've only found a drummer who truly clicks with me chemistry/musically wise. I find the live interaction exhilarating but the personality/compromise thing ( "Can we do some Mustang Sally?" or "Man, you need to turn down !" or "PLEASE tune your guitar?") a bit difficult. Luckily I also spend time building a website to license original bits of music for TV and Film. IF I get some interest in this field, I'll probably give up the band quest.

[AJ6stringsting]

I was in and out of the L.A. music scene in the 1980's.

Best band I was in, was in Medford, Oregon. Great musicianship, creative guys ( when not inebriated or "Drugged out") and delivered great original and cover tunes. I didn't like dealing with their problem ( drama), their abuse of substances and the ego problems that always shown up on cue. I smoked a little pot / drank some beer, here and there, but these guys thought they were Guns and Roses, Jim Morrison or Ozzy ( in his prime of drug use).

I just wanted to create music and deliver the good at 1000% at the gigs, they just wanted to be living a prefabricated illusion of a " Musician Life Style".

I came from a more Hendrix, , Randy Rhoads, Yngwie Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, EVH, Billy Gibbons. Steve Vai, Allan Holdsworth, John Sykes, Dream Theater and George Lynch school of guitar playing, they came from a more Pantera, Metallica and Slayer type of band. I fit in quite well.

The bass player gave me a demo of 15 songs of their originals at a Van Halen concert and when I arrived in Medford, 11 days later, I had 12 of their tunes under my belt. Luckily, I knew all the covers they did.

Too bad, it was a great band.

 

[Floyd Rosenbomb]

I was in and out of the L.A. music scene in the 1980's.

Best band I was in, was in Medford, Oregon. Great musicianship, creative guys ( when not inebriated or "Drugged out") and delivered great original and cover tunes. I didn't like dealing with their problem ( drama), their abuse of substances and the ego problems that always shown up on cue. I smoked a little pot / drank some beer, here and there, but these guys thought they were Guns and Roses, Jim Morrison or Ozzy ( in his prime of drug use).

I just wanted to create music and deliver the good at 1000% at the gigs, they just wanted to be living a prefabricated illusion of a " Musician Life Style".

I came from a more Hendrix, , Randy Rhoads, Yngwie Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, EVH, Billy Gibbons. Steve Vai, Allan Holdsworth, John Sykes, Dream Theater and George Lynch school of guitar playing, they came from a more Pantera, Metallica and Slayer type of band. I fit in quite well.

The bass player gave me a demo of 15 songs of their originals at a Van Halen concert and when I arrived in Medford, 11 days later, I had 12 of their tunes under my belt. Luckily, I knew all the covers they did.

Too bad, it was a great band.

 

Makes you wonder how many great bands have been lost to guys who thought that drugs and drinking wouldn't effect them.

 

And if "that guy" is out there reading this, trust me, it is effecting you for the worse and it is a drag on everybody in your world. It is never too late, or too early, to right your ship.

[DeepEnd]

. . . I also really get that it is not about me. That hard part is when someone else thinks it is all about them.

Bear in mind my gig is in a praise band and what I meant was that in that environment it's supposed to be about God first and foremost. Church/Temple musicians (I've visited a synagogue where there's a praise band and the cantor plays a 12-string Yairi) ought to recognize that but it's surprising how many don't. [/end of sermon].

[AJ6stringsting]

I helped a friend do some demos, he had original music that reflected early U2, the Church, Police, The Cure, early David Bowie, Todd Rungren and Roxy Music.

His style forced me to think and play differently out of my norm of Blues, Heavy Metal / Shred guitar. I got to play with effects, chords and sound textures that I would never have.

[badpenguin]

Floyd, you sound like me, with the school records saying "Does not play well with others" in red ink. The idea of writing your own material, then presenting it to potential bandmates, honestly.... sounds like a recipe for failure IF you can't take criticism. If you can take it, and react well to the others suggestions, more power to you. Me myself and I.... it's tough, since what I write, and what you hear, comes from my poor lonely brain cell, and no one else can hear the same thing in their head.

[Burgess]

The best functioning bands I've been in have worked as dictatorships with a band leader that had a clear vision of the direction the band was going in. He may have delegated certain responsibilities but there was one clear boss. They were always open to suggestion but when a decision had to be made they weren't afraid and wouldn't hesitate to make the call.

 

Bands as a democracy are just bands waiting to be divided into cliques before they break up. And they all break up, the best ones with a good band leader.

[sammyreynolds01]

The best functioning bands I've been in have worked as dictatorships with a band leader that had a clear vision of the direction the band was going in. He may have delegated certain responsibilities but there was one clear boss. They were always open to suggestion but when a decision had to be made they weren't afraid and wouldn't hesitate to make the call.

 

Bands as a democracy are just bands waiting to be divided into cliques before they break up. And they all break up, the best ones with a good band leader.

 

 

Bands that are dictatorships can work but I've seen them break up more than democracy bands. GnR was definitely a dictatorship and we all know what happened and look what has happened to Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi might be a bad example because that's Jon's band but still he runs things and the others ones follow. At some point people are going to get sick of it.

 

Bands aren't a straight up democracy but you can't have a total dictatorship either. I've seen indie bands where that has happened and it doesn't work from what I've seen.

[Burgess]

 

 

Bands that are dictatorships can work but I've seen them break up more than democracy bands. GnR was definitely a dictatorship and we all know what happened and look what has happened to Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi might be a bad example because that's Jon's band but still he runs things and the others ones follow. At some point people are going to get sick of it.

 

Bands aren't a straight up democracy but you can't have a total dictatorship either. I've seen indie bands where that has happened and it doesn't work from what I've seen.

GnR break up or not can only be considered a very successful band. The one truism about all bands is that eventually they will break up.

[onelife]

Early in my career I was in a band and we justifiably fired a guy fro being an a-hole. An older musician friend of mine told me it was a mistake and, sure enough, the band was never the same musically and we eventually gave up.

 

I've been involved in bands and recording projects where there was some "difficulty" working with certain people but after my early experience I learned to tolerate a lot for the sake of the music. During one project that lasted about a year everybody, including the guy who's songs we were recording, quit at least once even though we all thought the songs were really good. I had to pull everyone back into the project to get it completed and when I listen to the CD ten years later I realize that it was certainly worth the effort.

 

There comes a time, however, when the balance between the music and the BS tilts to far in the BS direction - it makes me wonder just how bad it must have been for the Beatles to decide that the music and their musical success was no longer worth it.