Members temnov Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 People say it's wrong to love for real more than once. It depends, I think. Today is my late wife birthday, she would be 43. I loved her and I still love her. But it was in my previous life, and I'm living another life today, with another women that I love, too. How many times in your lifetime you can live a new life? it's a crazy question, I know. How many times did you love for real? Or, it's just me? I don't think so. Is there any shrink around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jotown Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 Can you be in love more than once? Yes you definitely can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members UstadKhanAli Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 There. You got your answer! You're not alone. Feel better? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lee Flier Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 Sure, lots of people fall in love more than once. Nothing "wrong" with it, although it's common for people who have lost a loved one to feel guilty about loving again for awhile. Everybody's different, some people are better at adapting to change and loss and moving on, than others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 People say it's wrong to love for real more than once. It depends, I think.Today is my late wife birthday, she would be 43. I loved her and I still love her. But it was in my previous life, and I'm living another life today, with another women that I love, too.How many times in your lifetime you can live a new life? it's a crazy question, I know. How many times did you love for real? Or, it's just me? I don't think so. Is there any shrink around? We've all known folks who were lucky enough to be in love with the same person their whole lives -- and go through life with that person. And we've all known folks who were unlucky enough to be in love with the same person their whole lives -- and lose or never even win the love of that person. But I think love is a lot more subtle, complex -- and deep (in the cosmic sense, donchya know?) -- than the stilted and artificial picture of romantic love which has been foist upon us by various arms of the entertainment industry [and I VERY definitely include novelists and fiction writers, though not all of them, of course]... I would also greatly distrust any feeling of "love" that seemed to float free from its object... When I was a kid I was in "love" with a number of very different women... yet that "love" was so often the same... eventually I began to realize I was "in 'love' with 'love'" -- as they say -- and not really loving the objects of my often less than obscure desire. Love is something much bigger than all that romance jazz. I don't want to go warm and fuzzy but it is a mystery and a miracle and -- if I read my sense of the universe correctly -- a form of grace which we cannot win or earn but which we must simply accept as a gift of transcendance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EccentRick Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 People say it's wrong to love for real more than once. "People" are often wrong and just as frequently speak, as if with authority, of things about which they know little or nothing. Do you think it's wrong? To thine own self be true. Today is my late wife birthday, she would be 43. I loved her and I still love her. But it was in my previous life, and I'm living another life today, with another women that I love, too. Of course you still love your late wife. And nothing will or can change that. Rightfully so. My sincere condolences on her passing and for the losses suffered by you both. But, indeed, that love was and will always be a part of your past life for as long as you live. Loving another is simply that - loving another. It in no way diminishes the honor and dignity of the love you shared with your late wife, nor lessens or makes "wrong" the equally valid love you now share with another living human being. How many times in your lifetime you can live a new life?it's a crazy question, I know. There are no crazy questions. I would say that one can live a "new" life as many times as the strength and adaptability of one's personality, as well as the state of one's physical and mental health, provide one with the means to do so, if desired. Best wishes for a contented and "real" love-filled life. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EccentRick Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 Love is something much bigger than all that romance jazz. Indeed - much, much bigger. Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deanmass Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 I think they are different loves, and not to trivialize it, but like Les Pauls vs. Strats vs. Steinbergers...All good, once you lose one, you still miss it even though you love the one you have now. I am now 2 years divorced and still think about my ex everyday, remembering what we 'were', and not knowing if I will ever feel that again on that level, but I have realized, I won't feel the 'same', but might still love as hard in a different way. Any way you slice it, it ain't easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 18, 2007 Moderators Share Posted March 18, 2007 The capacity for love resides within your own heart, and can range anywhere from zero to infinity. Terry D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members alphajerk Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 sure, why couldnt you? you could even be in love twice [or more] at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ryst Posted March 18, 2007 Members Share Posted March 18, 2007 at the same time. I get that way after a few shots of vodka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members temnov Posted March 19, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 Hey guys, thanks! I know you're right and ability to love and live again depends on you, not on "people". It was a sad day for me, so I was a little bit down. Not today, thanks to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anderton Posted March 19, 2007 Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 I've never fallen out of love with any woman I've loved. I've never had a situation where love turned into hate, just ones where love turned into "I don't think we're meant to live together any more." Consider yourself fortunate to have loved one person in your life with real depth. Consider yourself more fortunate if you've been able to love two people with the same kind of depth! When someone I was close to dies, I try not to think about being upset that the person isn't here any more. I try to think how lucky I was to have known that person at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Lozada Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 To answer the original question, YES. Consider yourself fortunate to have loved one person in your life with real depth. Consider yourself more fortunate if you've been able to love two people with the same kind of depth! Amen to that. It gets more special when you actually realize that you have also been loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted March 19, 2007 Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 I don't know, to many questions are open. Twice, or more?How many persons at the same time?For how long?Simultaneous, or successive? . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aeon Posted March 19, 2007 Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 I don't want to go warm and fuzzy but it is a mystery and a miracle and -- if I read my sense of the universe correctly -- a form of grace which we cannot win or earn but which we must simply accept as a gift of transcendance. Beautifully-said, and by all means, go warm and fuzzy as you may. Namaste, Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members temnov Posted March 19, 2007 Author Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 Consider yourself fortunate to have loved one person in your life with real depth. Consider yourself more fortunate if you've been able to love two people with the same kind of depth!When someone I was close to dies, I try not to think about being upset that the person isn't here any more. I try to think how lucky I was to have known that person at all. Craig, that's exactly what my sister told when my wife died. She also said - "You are lucky because you have already had that in your life and you were totally happy! I wasn't, but I'm happy for you, brother." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted March 19, 2007 Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 How many times did you love for real? Or, it's just me? I don't think so. Is there any shrink around? No, you don't need a shrink. For me it was three times true, deep spiritual love for real over many years. I love my wife more than anything, but I really did and still do love the soul mate of my youth... the one that got away. As happy as I am now she still haunts me in my dreams 25+ years later. As they say, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted March 19, 2007 Members Share Posted March 19, 2007 Kiddies, you are all so romantic... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ernest Buckley Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 Yeah, you can love more than once. I went through something where I was loving two people at the same time. Whats up with that? Then it hit me... what exactly is love? This is a topic that can take up several books. So what is love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rjt Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 You can love many times, in many different ways. (IMHO of course!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members UstadKhanAli Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 I had no idea you could bring back a thread this old. Anyway, the answer is "absolutely!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 Yeah, you can love more than once. I went through something where I was loving two people at the same time. Whats up with that? Then it hit me... what exactly is love? This is a topic that can take up several books. So what is love? Man EB... had you asked me when I was 18 I could have told you. Seriously, I think about this all the time. IMO part of the problem is that the English language uses the word love to describe so many different things. I look to the Greek language, which separates love into several types. Eros (????) is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TBush Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 Also- love bestows loveliness on the beloved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted September 25, 2008 Members Share Posted September 25, 2008 Being 'in love' is not necessarily the same thing as loving someone. Being 'in love' is a feeling that happens early in a relationship, mostly driven by our lack of knowledge about the other person. The less we really know about them, the more we get to fill in the blanks with our own fantasies, creating a romantic ideal. It is that ideal that we 'fall in love' with. Real love is finding out who that other person really is, having your fantasies shattered one by one and deciding to love them anyway. Sounds like you're not willing to live alone. I don't blame you; I hate it myself, having been married a couple of times and divorced as well. At some point you have to make the decision to open yourself up to the possibility of grief and disappointment again. Without making that decision, one denies oneself the opportunity to find love again. I decided to risk it one last time at age 26. That was 27 years ago and today I'm married for 25 years, and quite happily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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