Why I Hate To Talk To "Regular" People About Being A Musician

[ggm1960]

I don't really let it bother me, it's been a while since I've had such an encounter and I guess it just triggered a rant.

 

In the end I'm pleased, and feel fortunate, to have had the opportunity to earn the respect of, and play alongside, some real good musicians while making a few extra bucks in cover bands. Heck, several of my own songs have been added to band set lists by request of my band mates.

 

I don't dislike my day job either, in fact, being schooled in electronics has been quite advantageous to my musical pursuits as well! I've maintained and repaired my own amps, and other gear, for years and my ability with computers allowed me to jump on the sequencing and recording train quickly.

 

And then there's this great community of like minded individuals who share many of the same experiences.

 

So....... it's all good!

[Lee Flier]

People have these bizarre societal expectations foisted on them, and most never give any of them a second thought. Why would you grow out of something you enjoy? What's infantile about traveling? Or playing music? Or doing anything that brings you enjoyment and opens you up to new experiences? But people are straitjacketed by these societal expectations, and by their very thoughts. I've had very similar conversations with people regarding my music. It's odd that people consider music something to grow out of, but y'know, mostly what people see on TV are young people playing music, so they somehow equate this with something young to do and don't think much past that. They somehow equate musicians with irresponsibility, with frivolity (these two not terribly unlike the myopic principal I worked with), with youth. That's their perception, and I feel bad that they cannot view things any other way. On the other hand, I'm having too much fun to really worry about it too much.

 

 

Yeah, all of this, exactly!

[Lukenskywalker]

It was funny. It was downright bizarre . I mean, if I was a law enforcement officer, I would have been flattered by the effort. Hell, I might even have watched it...

'Walk the walk', Bleu, then tell me if you still think it's funny .

Trust me, you could never cut it as a Peace Officer, you are too...too...

Let's just say that your talents are best directed elsewhere...

closest thing to laying down the law that you could conceivably muster is banning 'Spammers' on SSS, and you seem to do that with great relish and expediency.
You go gett'im, Boy!

[Lee Flier]

I appreciate the sense of estrangement from the normies that Lee and others feel -- but I guess I've just lived with that from one angle or another my whole life.

Oh, me too. Don't even get me started. And, like you, I've compensated for it in large part by hanging out with mostly other musicians, artists, writers etc. I'm extremely blessed in that department, really - my friends are just an awesome bunch of people. So I certainly don't feel estranged among them. But, unfortunately, the dollar driven nature of our culture is really what drives everything, and that often has very real consequences for people I care a lot about... so it's not always easy to just let it roll off my back.

[rasputin1963]

It's a era thing too...I remember the Singer- Songwriter scene in Coffee Houses that were in great abundance in the mid-sixties up 'til Zep came along:lol: I played acoustic sets where all I could hear was breathing, no yapping, shuffling of feet etc. It was a Golden, lovely, Halcyon period.. Musicians, poets, actors, all had the audiences complete rapt attention. At Woodstock Joni mitchell was playing an acoustic set and I remember this dude yelling out...'{censored} this snooze {censored}, I wanna Boogie!'

Laura Nyro got booed offstage at Monterey Pop, too.

When I saw Rush in 1978, the audience was none-too-happy at the debut of their fronting band: a little outfit who called themselves "Air Supply". (File THAT under under WTF?)

[Lucky #9]

 

Yeah... I found that the majority of my 3DW friends -- even the musicians -- really have little interest. People have their own orbits.

 

 

Agreed. If you check my avatar I am in orbit as we speak.

[Hard Truth]

No bigotry here...I promise you. Please, you shouldn't ever tell me to f**k off again...it's not a very polite nor prudent thing to do.

Stop perpetuating bigoted stereotypes and I won't. I could have reported you and had you banned, but since I prefer free speech, I told you to {censored} off instead.

[Lukenskywalker]

Laura Nyro got booed offstage at Monterey Pop, too. When I saw Rush in 1978, the audience was none-too-happy at the debut of their fronting band: a little outfit who called themselves "Air Supply". (File THAT under under WTF? )

whoa, didn't know that...

Who was in in charge/not in charge for these dichotomous pairings?

I must say, I loved all of these acts on their own merit...especially Miss Laura and Rush.

[Lukenskywalker]

Stop perpetuating bigoted stereotypes and I won't. I could have reported you and had you banned, but since I prefer free speech, I told you to {censored} off instead.

Like I said, no Bigotry intended..
Free speech,? you want free speech?, 'YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FREE SPEECH

How 'bout you and your sorry, whining, {censored}, little, ass take a 'Time out'...

Corners waiting, you've been there before.

[blue2blue]

'Walk the walk', Bleu, then tell me if you still think it's funny . Trust me, you could never cut it as a Peace Officer, you are too...too... Let's just say that your talents are best directed elsewhere... closest thing to laying down the law that you could conceivably muster is banning 'Spammers' on SSS, and you seem to do that with great relish and expediency. You go gett'im, Boy!

You do know I was talking about an 80's TV show and not making fun of a truly noble profession, don't you?

 

I mean, geez.

 

It may be a cliche but there are retired police officers in my family and one of my very best friends is an LA County Sheriff's deputy.

 

And, for gosh sake, what on earth made you think I would ever dream I was qualified to be a police officer? I wouldn't make it the first week on the job without snapping.

[blue2blue]

[EDIT: I initially, and unintentionally didn't get the smilie/emoticons in this because I had cut and pasted the multiple quotes into a text editor to collect them, in order to get around the lack of a working multi-quote. Lukenskywalker correctly noted that they were missing and was concerned that their lack might be misleading. I completely agree and so went back and collected all the quotes again. My bad -- and I sincerely apologize for the oversight. See my post # 63 below.]

 

Like I said, no Bigotry intended.. Free speech,? you want free speech?, ' YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE FREE SPEECH How 'bout you and your sorry, whining, {censored}, little, ass take a 'Time out'... Corners waiting, you've been there before.

You know, Lukenskywalker, when I saw that first post, I had assumed you were from a Jewish background, because I figured that would be about the only way a guy could talk smack about an entire group of people like that and imagine that he might not get called on it. Mind you, I still thought it was that self-hating bigotry that eats at some folks.

 

But, now I'm starting to suspect that, indeed, you are not from that community, in which case, if you think you can talk like that and not have people think you're an anti-semitic bigot, you're pretty blinkin' deluded.

[Lukenskywalker]

You know, Lukenskywalker, when I saw that first post, I had assumed you were from a Jewish background, because I figured that would be about the only way a guy could talk smack about an entire group of people like that and imagine that he might not get called on it. Mind you, I still thought it was that self-hating bigotry that eats at some folks. But, now I'm starting to suspect that, indeed, you are not from that community, in which case, if you think you can talk like that and not have people think you're an anti-semitic bigot, you're pretty blinkin' deluded.

First, if you are going to quote me, please do it fairly... add the emoticons, smilies, waves, etc. for each of my posts .... Thank you.
You first subtlely attack me post #16, post #46 I laughed it off...smilies etc. post #53 I told you basically that you were...well...

I also think you are making issue of this matter because I made sport of the fact that you love to utilize your position on this site as Mod/Hall Monitor/Patrol Boy, since you are ineffectual otherwise.

Not to be mean-minded, but I would hazard a guess that you were probably the 'class-snitch', Suck- up in grade school (and perhaps beyond) that most of your classmates loathed, and spoke of you derisively behind your back.

I've taken up enough of you valuable time, I just heard that a Spammer was coming in to sell some shoes....Get ready Bleu,
Break out that 'big 'ol can of Spam' Icon ...post it up....then type Banned"
God I feel so safe when Blewboy is on duty.

[blue2blue]

First, if you are going to quote me, please do it fairly... add the emoticons, smilies, waves, etc. for each of my posts .... Thank you. You first subtlely attack me post #16, post #46 I laughed it off...smilies etc. post #53 I told you basically that you were...well... I also think you are making issue of this matter because I made sport of the fact that you love to utilize your position on this site as Mod/Hall Monitor/Patrol Boy, since you are ineffectual otherwise. Not to be mean-minded, but I would hazard a guess that you were probably the 'class-snitch', Suck- up in grade school (and perhaps beyond) that most of your classmates loathed, and spoke of you derisively behind your back. I've taken up enough of you valuable time, I just heard that a Spammer was coming in to sell some shoes....Get ready Bleu, Break out that 'big 'ol can of Spam' Icon ...post it up....then type Banned" God I feel so safe when Blewboy is on duty.

 

I'm not sure how you can get that I was "subtly attacking" you by mentioning the Cop Rock TV show from the 80s -- and I didn't get it that the first mention actually made you mad -- because, frankly, the notion seemed so utterly absurd.

 

So, let me apologize for not getting it that Cop Rock is apparently some kind of sore subject for you and it should not be mentioned in your presence or you will think someone is attacking you.

 

And I do apologize for accidentally leaving out the smilies from all the posts I quoted -- which I didn't realize until you pointed it out -- I was cutting and pasting the various posts into a text editor to get around the lack of functioning multi-quote (which I believe continues, though I didn't check).

 

I'm on my way to go and make sure you are properly quoted. My bad, although it was an oversight -- I certainly would not have taken the trouble to go through and manually remove them and so end up intentionally misquoting you.

 

With regard to your estimation of my character -- I get you're trying to make me cry -- but being a bully on the internet isn't quite as easy as it is when you've got a club and a gun, is it? And don't think -- for an instant -- that that is any kind of attack on police officers. Bully is my estimation of you -- not your profession, which is, indeed, a noble one filled with many good men and women.

 

But why the heck should I worry about some would-be bully on the internet? I stopped sweating them in the real world sometime around the time I was 16 and saw that you can always outsmart a bully -- because they're crippled by their own inner inadequacies. Remind me to tell you sometime about my "feud" with the football team at my old high school.

 

Bullies are cowards. One way or another.

 

 

Now I'm on my way to fix that inadvertant misquoting -- which I do sincerely apologize for -- because it's the right thing to do. And for no other reason.

[blue2blue]

I guess I better ask -- is anyone else here besides our friend Mr Lukenskywalker offended by me making fun of phone and running shoe spammers by posting the aforementioned spam graphic?

 

Because it's easier not to do it.

 

 

(Of course, he's got what I typically write in bold, wrong. I don't write banned, as he suggests, I write reported, since I've generally just reported the spammer so he/she/it can be removed -- and I write reported so that other folks won't have to go to the trouble of reporting them -- and bothering the forum mods any more than necessary. I do have and use the capability to ban robo-spammers, though, so that they don't keep on spreading spam through the whole site, as often happens. [EDIT: I just want to make it clear that, outside the songwriting forum, where I am a forum mod, I exercise no moderator status on HC, with the previously noted exception of dealing with obvious robo-spammers, which, despite a certain party's imaginings, is actually about as as thrilling as cleaning an animal litter box a few times a day.]

 

 

Really, I had no idea that this might be offensive to anyone. But if folks have a problem with it, it's much easier for me to go on about my business.

 

[Ernest Buckley]

I guess I better ask -- is anyone else here besides our friend Mr Lukenskywalker offended by me making fun of phone and running shoe spammers by posting the aforementioned spam graphic? Because it's easier not to do it. (Of course, he's got what I typically write in bold, wrong. I don't write banned , as he suggests, I write reported, since I've generally just reported the spammer so he/she/it can be removed -- and I write reported so that other folks won't have to go to the trouble of reporting them -- and bothering the forum mods any more than necessary. I do have and use the capability to ban robo-spammers, though, so that they don't keep on spreading spam through the whole site, as often happens.) Really, I had no idea that this might be offensive to anyone . But if folks have a problem with it, it's much easier for me to go on about my business.

Hey Blue and Luke,

I`m not offended by any of this for the record. The one thing I don`t care for on forums is the silly going back and forth that starts out as fun but then someone takes it the wrong way. Then suddenly, a good thread like this one starts to get ugly. Everyone here has been posting for a long time so no one has the wrong intentions, I just think things get misunderstood in this written format. I think we should all just sit back, have a cold one and chill. Life, my friends, is too short as they say so enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving!

Now to get back on topic... I just had one of the nicest sessions with a college buddy of mine/bass player in my band. He is one of those people in my life that knew me when I was 18 and here we are almost 20 years later, still friends, still joking around, still making music together. After our tracking session, we had dinner with my wife and just spoke about life... marriage, being parents... then my wife put the kids to sleep and it was just him and me still talking about our old band and what we should have done if we only knew then what we know now... etc...

Then he says to me, "You know Ern, this is success, here we are, enjoying dinner and conversation after all these years. We`re aware that this is what its all about... Life is full of these moments but so many times we let them pass us by. We`re still making music, having a great time." I knew what he was getting at... we were both successful because we still enjoyed making music and we still figured out a way to have a normal life as well: getting married, having kids, buying houses, holding full time jobs as musicians. That is success. Its not the same for everyone but doing what you love and enjoying the moment, that is.

I know it sounds like I went off on a tangent but what I`m getting at is this... no matter how others view what we choose to do, in this case... MUSIC, at the end of the day, whether we sell 1 record or a million, whether we play to a sold out stadium or to ourselves in our studios, what it really comes down to is enjoying the moment. And moments are all that make up this journey we call life. Its really what the Buddhists teach, isn`t it?

Be in the moment.

This thread started out as a rant but somewhere in there we got to talking about being in the world but not of it, of being detached from outcomes and controlling how you react to something outside us. Music has taught me this. Its a great journey that we take together and alone. Only another musician knows the magic and shares that with us. Its the reason when we hear a groove we sway, its the reason why we look across the stage at our band mates after the last chord is struck and smile. Its a magical thing and its ok if the rest of the world doesn`t get "it". Music makes the world a better place, even if its background music. I will continue to make it and will continue to enjoy the process one note, one chord, one lyric, one song, one album at a time.

Peace,
EB

[blue2blue]

Thanks, Ernest. I am sorry that my mention of Cop Rock offended Lukenskywalker and I do apologize that I mistook his first response to it as good-natured back and forth. (I guess it was all those smilies in it that fooled me.) And the personal attacks on me, I'm perfectly willing to laugh off. Plenty worse has been said about me -- and some of that was true. And, hell, maybe I'm guilty of bullying robo-spammers, I suppose I am.

 

That said, the antisemitic stuff really is beyond the pale. Seriously.

[Lukenskywalker]

I'm not sure how you can get that I was "subtly attacking" you by mentioning the Cop Rock TV show from the 80s -- and I didn't get it that the first mention actually made you mad -- because, frankly, the notion seemed so utterly absurd. So, let me apologize for not getting it that Cop Rock is apparently some kind of sore subject for you and it should not be mentioned in your presence or you will think someone is attacking you. And I do apologize for accidentally leaving out the smilies from all the posts I quoted -- which I didn't realize until you pointed it out -- I was cutting and pasting the various posts into a text editor to get around the lack of functioning multi-quote (which I believe continues, though I didn't check). I'm on my way to go and make sure you are properly quoted. My bad , although it was an oversight -- I certainly would not have taken the trouble to go through and manually remove them and so end up intentionally misquoting you. With regard to your estimation of my character -- I get you're trying to make me cry -- but being a bully on the internet isn't quite as easy as it is when you've got a club and a gun, is it? And don't think -- for an instant -- that that is any kind of attack on police officers. Bully is my estimation of you -- not your profession, which is, indeed, a noble one filled with many good men and women. But why the heck should I worry about some would-be bully on the internet? I stopped sweating them in the real world sometime around the time I was 16 and saw that you can always outsmart a bully -- because they're crippled by their own inner inadequacies. Remind me to tell you sometime about my "feud" with the football team at my old high school. Bullies are cowards. One way or another. Now I'm on my way to fix that inadvertant misquoting -- which I do sincerely apologize for -- because it's the right thing to do. And for no other reason.

 

 

I have never carried a 'club', no, please.. don't try to set your 'slanted' stage with me being a Pig 'head-buster'...

 

FOR THE LAST TIME...

 

I wasn't a Cop. (that's what this thread was supposed to be about I think, how people prematurely judge what you do or don't do based on stereotypical assumptions.)

.I was a Senior County Investigator...my 'Uniform' was in summer, Linen Armani SuitS, loafers, no socks. cotton or silk T-shirt...Winter, Leather Coat, Doc Martins, and Jeans...

Firearm(s) Glock 19 police issue, backup 9mm Kel-tech...no club, no stupid hat, no doughnuts.

I was Senior Investigator, in charge of 7 other hand-picked Investigators...we were Pro-Active which means we went out to find trouble, not to respond to a call of 'something in progress We were the most decorated unit in the State.

 

I have never been called a bully... except by you...and that could be a sign of your insecurity/inadequacies manifesting themselves...

 

 

My bad, never heard of 'Cop Rock'...

 

I have no interest in hearing how you took on the Football Team at your'old' High School, save it for your book....

I'm assuming they took away your Chipmunk Mascot uniform because you 'ratted the Quarterback out for smoking in the boys room....

 

But that's probably just a stereotypical assumption... like you made about me being a 'bully with a club'

[Ernest Buckley]

People have these bizarre societal expectations foisted on them, and most never give any of them a second thought. Why would you grow out of something you enjoy? What's infantile about traveling? Or playing music? Or doing anything that brings you enjoyment and opens you up to new experiences? But people are straitjacketed by these societal expectations, and by their very thoughts.

Its tribal consciousness. The mantra is, "What will others think?" I think there are a lot of people, including myself at times, who just sort of run through the motions of life, not because we`re making conscious decisions to do the same thing over and over again, we`re just so conditioned to think a certain way. So we think everyone should be going to college, get married, have kids, buy the house, work at a responsible job even if you hate it, retire at 65 and then wait to die. Sorry, I didn`t sign up for that. Its the reason why when someone heres you enjoy traveling, photography or making music for fun, they look at you like you have a small head growing out the side of your neck...

Its just so foreign to them, that someone has the audacity to do what they want because they enjoy it!? How dare they? They`re supposed to be miserable like the rest of us. Damn you!

[Ernest Buckley]

Thanks, Ernest. I am sorry that my mention of Cop Rock offended Lukenskywalker and I do apologize that I mistook his first response to it as good-natured back and forth. (I guess it was all those smilies in it that fooled me.) And the personal attacks on me, I'm perfectly willing to laugh off. Plenty worse has been said about me -- and some of that was true. And, hell, maybe I'm guilty of bullying robo-spammers, I suppose I am. That said, the antisemitic stuff really is beyond the pale. Seriously.

 

 

Hey Blue,

 

Yeah, I didn`t take anything Luke wrote to heart. I have come to know both of you to an extent beyond most members here and I think you`re both terrific people so. You know when a great friend says something to you that most people may take as offensive but you consider it something altogether, thats sort of how I read Lukes posts.

[blue2blue]

 

I have never carried a 'club', no, please.. don't try to set your 'slanted' stage with me being a Pig 'head-buster'... FOR THE LAST TIME ... I wasn't a Cop. (that's what this thread was supposed to be about I think, how people prematurely judge what you do or don't do based on stereotypical assumptions.) .I was a Senior County Investigator...my 'Uniform' was in summer, Linen Armani SuitS, loafers, no socks. cotton or silk T-shirt...Winter, Leather Coat, Doc Martins, and Jeans... Firearm(s) Glock 19 police issue, backup 9mm Kel-tech...no club, no stupid hat, no doughnuts. I was Senior Investigator, in charge of 7 other hand-picked Investigators...we were Pro-Active which means we went out to find trouble, not to respond to a call of 'something in progress We were the most decorated unit in the State. I have never been called a bully... except by you...and that could be a sign of your insecurity/inadequacies manifesting themselves... My bad, never heard of 'Cop Rock'... I have no interest in hearing how you took on the Football Team at your'old' High School, save it for your book.... I'm assuming they took away your Chipmunk Mascot uniform because you 'ratted the Quarterback out for smoking in the boys room.... But that's probably just a stereotypical assumption... like you made about me being a 'bully with a club'

 

 

If you say you've never heard of Cop Rock -- I'm pretty surprised but if you say so, I'm prepared to take you at your word-- and since you apparently thought I was attacking you, I guess I wish I had been able to pick that up better from your post. I'm not blaming you. You probably were hoping I'd take the hint without you being obvious. So, I really do sincerely regret that.

 

And, once again, I have no problems with -- and, indeed, have great respect for law enforcement officers. As I noted, one of my very best friends is one.

 

It is -- very specifically -- you that I have a problem with. Let there be no question about that, whatsoever.

 

I don't really care at all what you think of me or what you write about me. Go ahead, let it all out. Do you think that makes me look bad?

 

But your casual and smarmy derision of Jewish people is beneath contempt.

[blue2blue]

 

Hey Blue, Yeah, I didn`t take anything Luke wrote to heart. I have come to know both of you to an extent beyond most members here and I think you`re both terrific people so. You know when a great friend says something to you that most people may take as offensive but you consider it something altogether, thats sort of how I read Lukes posts.

Well, maybe he felt that by tarting his antisemitism up with a bunch of smilies he could make it seem "funny."

 

I don't think he's funny.

[Lukenskywalker]

It is -- very specifically -- you that I have a problem with. Let there be no question about that , whatsoever. I don't really care at all what you think of me or what you write about me. .

if you didn't... you wouldn't be spending this much time,trying to get others to agree with you, calling out to other members to see if they take exception to your 'Spam Patrol' methods trying to garner support...you need to just fight your own battles...
You've finally admitted that your problem is specifically with me...you could've said that from the get go...
It's a step in the right direction,
Just for the record...I have always thought of you as a weasel- like, wish-washy individual, an opportunist, who follows his survival instincts.
If Armageddon does take place, I'm betting that You and a Billion Cockroaches will survive.

BTW it's 11:20pm on the East Coast...'Armageddon' tired....

You Blue, are like a tiny pebble in my Addidas, irritating for a trice, but when I go upstairs to bed I will shake you into my bedside trash can and will wake up to a brand new day...

Goodnight, don't let them Spambugs bite!

[Lukenskywalker]

Hey Blue, Yeah, I didn`t take anything Luke wrote to heart. I have come to know both of you to an extent beyond most members here and I think you`re both terrific people so. You know when a great friend says something to you that most people may take as offensive but you consider it something altogether, thats sort of how I read Lukes posts.

Thank you Ernest, I'm afraid Blue has sunk his claws into me and can't seem to extricate himself.He will get over it I'm sure, and become The Blue we've all come to love and admire. 'Night Luke

[UstadKhanAli]

Its just so foreign to them, that someone has the audacity to do what they want because they enjoy it!? How dare they? They`re supposed to be miserable like the rest of us. Damn you!

We have a great deal of freedoms, choices, and options here in many of the countries that people post from on this forum. We don't often take advantage of them. The status quo is important to keep for most, which is fine...but to adversely stereotype people who don't follow that is not so good, in my opinion.

~~~~

What the hell happened to this thread?

[blue2blue]

if you didn't... you wouldn't be spending this much time,trying to get others to agree with you, calling out to other members to see if they take exception to your 'Spam Patrol' methods trying to garner support...you need to just fight your own battles... You've finally admitted that your problem is specifically with me...you could've said that from the get go... It's a step in the right direction, Just for the record...I have always thought of you as a weasel- like, wish-washy individual, an opportunist, who follows his survival instincts. If Armageddon does take place, I'm betting that You and a Billion Cockroaches will survive. BTW it's 11:20pm on the East Coast...'Armageddon' tired.... You Blue, are like a tiny pebble in my Addidas, irritating for a trice, but when I go upstairs to bed I will shake you into my bedside trash can and will wake up to a brand new day... Goodnight, don't let them Spambugs bite!

Well, I said to let it all out!

 

I hope you feel better. I know I do.

 

 

When I said my problem was with you, I meant that I don't have a problem with police officers as a class of people but that I do have a problem you specifically.

 

I was not I saying I had a problem with you before. I wasn't even precisely clear who you were. In fact, I believe I was partially conflating you with another forum member to the extent that I had a sense of who you are, hence my confusion over your cultural background.

 

Nor did I have a problem with you through my second "Cop Rock" post -- because I honestly thought we were teasing each other in a friendly manner.

 

Then, when it became clear you were ticked off about those posts -- still not realizing that you didn't know it was an infamously goofy concept show from the guy who made Hill Street Blues -- and you claimed I'd attacked you, even though I simply mentioned those shows (my posts are still up, you can go back and look at them), I started getting a little annoyed.

 

But then, after I posted the post asking pointedly if you knew I was talking about an 80s TV show and not you -- I then read and re-read some of the rest of the thread, saw the stuff about "the tribe" -- and then I really did start having a problem with you. I've said what I thought. I suppose you don't see it the same way. But I would commend a reconsideration of the way you express your attitudes toward Jews in public if you don't want to continue being labeled by others as antisemitic.

 

 

On the personal stuff, you're welcome to your opinions. I know I rub some folks wrong, but that's life, huh? As long as I don't think I'm doing the wrong thing, I really don't sweat the opinions of others that I may not know.