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Buckethead and Lady Gaga

joseflovesyou

By joseflovesyou
in Electric Guitars

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joseflovesyou

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Buckethead, and Lady Gaga

 

This collaboration, MUST happen. It's an absolute necessity to kick off a new musical decade. It shall be the foundation for a whole new world. One we never even dreamed possible, on the sonic landscape.

 

But good news!

 

It IS going to happen. I've had the vision. I've seen it come true. I've seen all the beauty that will come with it, and all the ugly. There will be much gain for the world as a whole, as well as much personal gain. However, it will tragically end in a great personal loss. I'm essentially martyring myself, for all of you.

 

First off, I'll give a little back story. I've known for many years that one day I would die in the hands of Buckethead. I've never known what would bring this to action, I just knew it would indeed take place. Now, with the emergence of Lady Gaga, I've come to see it all in startling clarity.

 

The action will be on me, it's my job to get this ball rolling. However I take no credit for the things that will follow. I'm simply doing what I was meant to do.

 

The first step is the only one that I think is going to be the most difficult. I must establish communications with Buckethead, and befriend him. It wont be all too hard though. I'm sure I know how to tap through that bucket, and into his heart. I will first send him letters, expressing to him the massive impact his music has had on me, and the deep love I have for it. This should be nothing out of the ordinary for him, but it is the first ice breaker. I will then inform him that it was me who gave him the Luke Skywalker doll, in Madison Wisconsin. So now that I've established my respect for him, I've also drawn attention to our previous encounters, thus sparking his recollection of me, giving him an idea of the voice coming to him. Perhaps some Youtube videos I make will be shared, to make him see. I will introduce him to new music, to get him excited for the art I soon plan to propose to him. Throughout all of this, I will make many references to Lady Gaga, without ever implying a collaboration.

 

Now, it's possible I could sell her so much, that he decides on his own that he wants to collaborate with her. This would be ideal, because then all I would have to do is show my excitement and agree with him. However, I think it will have to be me who brings it up, and persuades him. It can be done, no worries there.

 

At this point, Buckethead will be set, progress made.

 

Now it is time for Gaga.

 

I don't expect any problems here, it's all quite simple. I plan to make many charming Youtube videos, specifically with her in mind. To display my wit, and talent. Along with a few letters, I'll have her interested in my existence in no time. We will then begin our communications, at which point she will be overcome by my charm, and unable to resist me. She will fall head over heels in love with me quickly, and now all the traps are set.

 

From there it's easy, she will be so enamored with me, that she will not once question working with Buckethead when I suggest it to her. Simply by knowing me, she will have already heard plenty of his music, and be familiar with his work. From here on out, I have no more work to do, it's all up to them.

 

They will hit the studios, and work like they've never worked before. Bootsy Collins will be called up, to lay down the funk. Their progress will no doubt be extremely quick, flowing out of them more naturally than it ever has before. Lady Gaga already has the big name, so it will be promoted plenty, no issues there. Album will drop, and hit the world like nothing has before. Easily the biggest thing in music, ever.

 

Then the tour. These shows would be filled with sights I cannot even begin to describe, you can imagine on your own what a stage with Gaga, Buckethead, and Bootsy could turn into. The tour of all tours.

 

But this is where my personal loss comes in, tragic and quick.

 

While on the tour, and spending much time together Buckethead will end up stealing Gaga's heart from me. Naturally, because my my deep love for both of them, I will react quite negatively. Coming at Bucket, with a rage I never knew I had in me.

 

It will be a knife fight, it will be a bat fight, it will be a gift bath, it will be to the very end of me.

 

Knives drawn, tempers flaring, it will all start. I will be giving my all, using every ounce of hate and anger and hurt I've ever felt in my life all against him, against Buckethead, the man who's made the best music I've ever felt. Pacing around him, I will take my swings, and jabs, with my good old knife, Ken Onion. It will gain me no ground, he's too quick, he sees every move coming before I make them.

 

Now he's a classy man, he will know where this fire, and this hate is coming from, and do his best to defuse it in these beginning stages. But I will be relentless, stopping at nothing to get a taste of his blood. Eventually, the rage in him will build, and he will emerge as a cold blooded killer. An animal taking what is his. Stabbing back, he will finally cut me, when I've not even granted myself the illusion that any of my shots were close. At this point he will be working as nothing more than a soulless robotic killing machine, working with perfection.

 

His nunchckas will be out, so I will go for my bat. It will be of no use, in the blink of an eye, my skull will be crushed, I'll be down. Down and out. My death will be without dignity. After I'm dead, he will disembowel me, with great haste. Then completely cut me apart, leaving nothing recognizable only a pile of bone, blood and tissue. Buckethead and Gaga will then make love on the disgusting, warm bloody mess that once was me. It will be an animalistic {censored}ing to be remembered. All the passion of the music, and murder combined, into the most beautiful thing this world ever knew.

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joseflovesyou Newbie

joseflovesyou

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Couldn't be bothered to read the whole post, but for the love of sweet baby Jesus, don't let them breed.

 

 

Beyond the fading time of my own death, I cannot see, so I cannot say for sure if they will or not. However, it seems possible. I certainly hope they do. Since with everything said and done, I'm going to get it real bad. It's worth it though, for all the good it will bring the world. If the child comes into existence, it would be born with my dead eyes.

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