Members VSpaceBoy Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 So the drummer for my band started another project around 4 or 5 months ago. He assured us that everything would be fine and that he's not going to cause any trouble for either band. I don't really care (I think?).. but now I've had three seperate people tell me that he spends all of his free time at rehearals, and at OUR shows, talking about and promoting his other band. He sends out messages and networks, and even gets gigs for his other band, and nothing for our band. I wasn't worried about, until I hear other people ask me "Why does he sit there and talk/promote non stop about his other band, when you guys just finished your set here?" Am I being sensitive? Is that disrepectful to our band? I told him about it today and he immediately told me that he knew we would start getting jealous at some point that he was in another band. Sure, I guess I feel a little competetion, but I'm not sure I'm jealous. (we're alot better anyhow ) I told him that I could care less about his other band as long as it doesn't interfere with what our band is doing.. but I guess thats not entirely true. It does bug me that he sits around at OUR gig, talking about his other band the whole time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Opus Antics Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I wonder if he talks about your band when he's at gigs for the other band? I think it's a bad idea to be detracting from the band you're playing with that night, but maybe he thinks he's cross-selling for both bands? Or he's being a total dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 So the drummer for my band started another project around 4 or 5 months ago. He assured us that everything would be fine and that he's not going to cause any trouble for either band. I told him that I could care less about his other band as long as it doesn't interfere with what our band is doing.. but I guess thats not entirely true. It does bug me that he sits around at OUR gig, talking about his other band the whole time. Well, you're his "side project" - clearly the other band has priority? Is there something that you are doing or not doing that has led to this? I'd have a talk with him - promoting the other band on your bands time is unacceptable and just plain not cool. Sounds like he was not only expecting the drama but also setting it up as well - who's got time for this kind of {censored}? Does he have ego issues in other areas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members VSpaceBoy Posted May 8, 2007 Author Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I wonder if he talks about your band when he's at gigs for the other band? I think it's a bad idea to be detracting from the band you're playing with that night, but maybe he thinks he's cross-selling for both bands? Or he's being a total dick. He's *said* that he is, but I've heard (second hand) that he definately does not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Opus Antics Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 He's *said* that he is, but I've heard (second hand) that he definately does not. If that's the case, then the band should sit down with him as a whole and express their appreciation for the cross sell, but that they'd prefer that he focus on the band that he's with at the moment so that each band can enjoy the night and build on thier own success of the moment. Diverting people's attention to another band doesn't do much to help the band that just played the set. Because he's assuming you're jealous, you'll have to find a way for everyone to make it clear that it's not about jealousy, it's about dedication and loyalty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members VSpaceBoy Posted May 8, 2007 Author Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 Is there something that you are doing or not doing that has led to this? Honestly I have thought about this one to. We were having a hard time finding a bass player so for along time so we didn't do much. Now though, we are playing as many, if not more gigs then that band. We write and have much more material. I'm not sure if he's more ?proud? of that band or not. I wouldn't be.. I mean they are just a power chord crunching punk band. (no offense, but that music just has alot less going on musically IMO) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members VSpaceBoy Posted May 8, 2007 Author Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 If that's the case, then the band should sit down with him as a whole and express their appreciation for the cross sell, but that they'd prefer that he focus on the band that he's with at the moment so that each band can enjoy the night and build on thier own success of the moment. Diverting people's attention to another band doesn't do much to help the band that just played the set. Because he's assuming you're jealous, you'll have to find a way for everyone to make it clear that it's not about jealousy, it's about dedication and loyalty. Good point. and I think you nailed it more than I did.. I called it disrepectful, but it is actually more about loyalty and dedication for the job at hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lee Flier Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 Yeah, I agree, constantly talking about your other band when you're at the other band's gigs = NOT COOL. It's all right to mention it once in awhile but if that's all you talk about at the gig, it sends a bad message to all concerned - bandmates and audience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members newmaxnew Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I have a situation where I started another band. My first band is an original music three piece band. The other two do not practice outside of rehearsal and often make dumb mistakes at gigs. The gigs have really dried up for this band and we only perform about once every two months now. Every time I book a gig they whine that it either doesn't pay enough or the club was too empty. The second band I formed about a year ago. Now the good paying gigs are really starting happen. This band performs at least twice a month. The quality of the performances are better because these guys practice at home. I started telling the guys in the first band that the first band would have priority. Now all of sudden the cover band has most of summer booked leaving little room for the original band. The other two in the original band are getting a little worried I think. I guess I can see how these situations arrise. Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I have always belived in the one band at a time way of doing business. ....... If a guy is not 100 percent on board they can do down the road. I could see some exceptions like a guy who does a solo act or somthing. If one band cant keep you busy and motivated ,,, its time to look for a new band. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members colfaxrev Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I auditioned a drummer that talked about his band the entire audition hahaha. I knew that wouldn't realy work out for me. He even asked if they could share the rehearsal space. What an ass! Needless to say I didn't call him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rich4Once Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 I've done the two-band thing, but it's important to be honest with all involved. In the OP's situation, it's obvious that the guy is trying to make trouble. He spends all his free time (and on *your* gigs!) promoting his other band so then he can then accuse you of doing what he wants you to be guilty of. Tell him that his juvenile attitude is not going to be tolerated. He is baiting you, so then he can *not feel guilty* when he's not in your band anymore. He can tell everyone how immature you were: "I quit because he couldn't handle me playing with someone besides him. What a selfish bastard he is!" when all the while he's disrespecting you and your band, leading you to this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nerol1st Posted May 8, 2007 Members Share Posted May 8, 2007 Dudes with side projects need to be put in there place. Tell him whats up. We have had to do this to our singer numerous times (when he gets to wrapped in his other project), nobody is replacable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mcsdude Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 The last band I played in broke up cuzz our singer was doing the same type of thing. We even caught him asking us to do last minute gigs cuzz someone in his other band was not available, or pretended there were last minute cancellations on shows only to find he'd lined his other band up instead. It really pissed us all off royally but a year later we are all in other semi pro bands and he's not doing {censored}. What comes around ya know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chunkytele Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 told him about it today and he immediately told me that he knew we would start getting jealous at some point that he was in another band. Sure, I guess I feel a little competetion, but I'm not sure I'm jealous. (we're alot better anyhow )I told him that I could care less about his other band as long as it doesn't interfere with what our band is doing.. but I guess thats not entirely true. It does bug me that he sits around at OUR gig, talking about his other band the whole time. I have been thru the same thing. My drummer and bass player currently ae touring with another band. My keyboard player is backing up Casino acts in Fort Lauderdale. I have some professional jealousy. At the same time you have to honestly realize all projects outside the core band interfere with the core band. Unfortunately, opportunities are often scarce. It is prudent and healthy to expect your band mates to be involved in a number of endeavors. Unless you have $$$ involved ...give them your blessing. Seek some opportunities of your own or find a more commited band mate. Good luck.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir Don Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 My experience from this type of thing leads me to believe that no one can serve two masters. In the end he will leave one of the bands, probably yours by the sound of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KCWM Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 I had this happen with a band back when I was in high school. Our drummer lined up this interview for a magazine, but kept putting off telling us when it would happen. He eventually told us "yeah, that interview went well on Saturday". Needless to say, he spent the entire time talking about his other band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ggm1960 Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 It rarely seems to work to be in two bands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted May 9, 2007 Moderators Share Posted May 9, 2007 start looking for another drummer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members THBv2.0 Posted May 9, 2007 Members Share Posted May 9, 2007 He's being totally disrespectful. I'd start looking to replace him since it doesn't sound like he'll be willing to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members VSpaceBoy Posted May 10, 2007 Author Members Share Posted May 10, 2007 Thanks for all of the feedback guys.. I contacted another drummer and he's coming over tomorrow. Last nights show was just too much. Not only did he continue to talk about his other band, but his stage volume made us sound like {censored} again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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