How do you leave a band gracefully?

[Vito Corleone]

 

Now, I just want to be happy and I'm not happy right now. I will be happier when I get this other thing going.

 

 

How do you know? Isn't that what you probably said the LAST time you changed bands? And the time before that?

 

Not saying to NOT start a new band, and I wish you the best of luck. But just make sure your unhappiness isn't stemming from somewhere else besides just the guys you're playing with. Like you said, this band WAS your last "my own group" and YOU hired THEM! What makes you so sure your next group is going to make you any happier when you don't even know who is going to be in it yet? Especially when you don't have the PA, don't have any gigs, don't have the connections---yet you want it to be a "namesake" band? Why is anyone going to want to join the Tim7Strings Project if they have to provide the PA and the gigs?

 

Not trying to sound mean or rude, but I just hate to see you digging any deeper of a hole for yourself than you need to. Just a few days ago you were talking about how great it was that the band was starting to come together, and the response at the last gig was really good, etc. Why throw all that hard work away? A better plan MIGHT be to spend all that time you'll need to get a new band off the ground pushing THIS one even further, establish the band's (and by extension your own) reputation that much further and higher and then using THAT clout to find better players, continued gigs, etc.

[Vito Corleone]

 

If I had kept it my name and refused to make it a "band", hiring the drummer and firing the bassist replacing him with someone that could actually play well, I would still be with the group. But it became their band all of a sudden and I'm no longer interested in that.

 

Naming the band after yourself isn't what gives you control of a band. Such control comes from a degree of respect that is either earned--through having excellent management skills and/or a proven record of success, or paid for---by being the one who owns all the gear and gets all the gigs.

 

Having had the band named after you wouldn't have changed anything. Either you have the balls/juice to take control of the band and fire/hire who you want or you don't. Having the band named after you would likely have only left you ever MORE frustrated then you are now because you'd be complaining that "the band is named after me and they STILL won't do things the way I want!" Do you REALLY think that simply having the band named after you would have resulted in the drummer being any less tied to the bass player than he is now?

 

A name is nothing but a label and something to call something by. It doesn't DEFINE anything. Anymore than the fact that your name is Tim defines who you are.

[tim_7string]

 

How do you know? Isn't that what you probably said the LAST time you changed bands? And the time before that? Not saying to NOT start a new band, and I wish you the best of luck. But just make sure your unhappiness isn't stemming from somewhere else besides just the guys you're playing with. Like you said, this band WAS your last "my own group" and YOU hired THEM! What makes you so sure your next group is going to make you any happier when you don't even know who is going to be in it yet? Especially when you don't have the PA, don't have any gigs, don't have the connections---yet you want it to be a "namesake" band? Why is anyone going to want to join the Tim7Strings Project if they have to provide the PA and the gigs? Not trying to sound mean or rude, but I just hate to see you digging any deeper of a hole for yourself than you need to. Just a few days ago you were talking about how great it was that the band was starting to come together, and the response at the last gig was really good, etc. Why throw all that hard work away? A better plan MIGHT be to spend all that time you'll need to get a new band off the ground pushing THIS one even further, establish the band's (and by extension your own) reputation that much further and higher and then using THAT clout to find better players, continued gigs, etc.

 

 

I'm not looking for anyone to provide the PA but myself. I basically took a shortcut by letting the bass player change the name of the band, agreed when he insisted that we use his PA system and agreed again when he insisted that he be the booking agent rather than me. It was a package deal. On reflection, if I had been firm about my band name and said we can use your PA if you want and you'll get an extra percentage for that, but *I* will be the one booking gigs, who knows what would have happened? They'd probably be grumbling about the band more than I am or maybe it would have stopped before it started.

 

My mistake.

 

Back last February, I wasn't looking at the three piece as the be-all, end-all bestest band in the world, the one that will really do it for me this time. I was looking to put something together as kind of a "quick and dirty" three-piece to play dives so I could get things going with my future band. That was my goal at the time. It was based on coming off of my previous band, which was a nightmare to troubleshoot. I had three amateurs looking to me for everything and it was very stressful. My goal with the trio was to find two seasoned performers and just get out there and play, rather than take time to make it sound good.

 

Trouble was, I never followed through with that other idea. I just got comfortable with the trio and before I knew it, I was involved in something I had little stake in. I let myself be talked into too much and I'm paying for it now. Once again, I should have set very firm perimeters for what the band was and was going to be, what I would and would not tolerate. I didn't and it's a problem now.

 

Let me ask you this, David. Would you be able to stand playing with a bass player that kept messing up on every song for four hours a night? For nearly a year? When you tried several ways to get him on the same page as the rest of the group, yet it still didn't work? In a five-piece, it's one thing, but in a trio, it's extremely noticable. I have to be the lead singer, the rhythm guitarist, the lead guitarist and sometimes the bass player pulling him back to where he needs to go in the song, all at the same time. It's like I traded one kind of stress for another.

 

I've played for so many years now that it's difficult for me to just deal with mediocrity. I can't handle it. I have to have musicians that give a {censored}. Musicians that want to improve. I have neither situation with these guys. I'm sure with your band, everyone strives to do the best they can, because it makes the band better (and gets more money for their pocketbook), right? I don't have that here. And that, ultimately, is why I am leaving.

[Vito Corleone]

Give me a quick list of the bands you've played with over the last 5-10 years and why you're not playing with them anymore.

[tim_7string]

 

Naming the band after yourself isn't what gives you control of a band. Such control comes from a degree of respect that is either earned--through having excellent management skills and/or a proven record of success, or paid for---by being the one who owns all the gear and gets all the gigs.

 

 

Indeed. Paid for is the way I'm going to have to go as the other are still in process.

 

 

Having had the band named after you wouldn't have changed anything. Either you have the balls/juice to take control of the band and fire/hire who you want or you don't. Having the band named after you would likely have only left you ever MORE frustrated then you are now because you'd be complaining that "the band is named after me and they STILL won't do things the way I want!"

 

 

You are correct. And I will have the balls in the future to do just that. Despite the fact that the talent pool is limited around here, I will simply hire who is needed and if they become a problem, fire them. I would have fired the bassist simply on ineptitude alone if I had the full PA to begin with. Probably should have.

 

 

Do you REALLY think that simply having the band named after you would have resulted in the drummer being any less tied to the bass player than he is now?

 

 

Not at all. Actually, I hired the drummer first for that first gig in February. I only went with the bass player for that gig because I was short on time (we're talking days here). My mistake was in being lazy and just going with a bass player, knowing full well that they were a team and that they would always agree with each other first, rather than with me. I should have gotten a different bass player after that first gig. The opportunity was there. The drummer told me he was willing to work for a percentage under my name. I should have taken him up on that and just found someone else to play bass. Lesson learned.

[tim_7string]

 

Give me a quick list of the bands you've played with over the last 5-10 years and why you're not playing with them anymore.

 

 

Sure thing.

 

Here's the 5 year list (early 2006 - early 2011), in backwards order:

 

My namesake band (one gig, Feb 2010). Reason: The bass player wanted to change it to a band name and take over the booking and use his PA. I agreed for some reason, probably because I was dying for other people to help out in an actual "band" situation unlike my previous band where I had to do so much. Unfortunately, I found out this wasn't really a "band" either, so I traded one kind of stress for another.

 

Highwire (a few gigs, 2009). Reason: All three members were super-green and relied on me to do everything. Two members were not into the music we were performing and only put a half-hearted effort into it.

 

J Bobby (summer 2007 - early 2009). Reason: The bandleader erupted onstage one day and said, "I've been in better bands than this." This prompted me to form my own group again, rather than be a sideman, so in essence, this was a good thing.

 

No band from January to July 2007.

 

Tami Lee (April 2005 - December 2006). Reason: Primarily the cost of gas went up and the gigs were getting further and further away. I had to get an overnight job after I left. Up to that point, I was a 'full-time musician' living off of the band.

 

Want the 10 year now?

[Vito Corleone]

 

Want the 10 year now?

 

 

No, that's OK.

 

You've got your reasons for leaving and they are valid enough. I just think you should be sure that what you are going to do next will make you any happier. Otherwise, you really won't have gained anything. And without even having an idea of who you'd be playing with, you really don't have any guarantee whatsoever that your next project will be any better or any more satisfying than your last several. If, at any point, you "settle" just because you've got a gig coming up, or it's simply time to get SOMETHING going, you might very well end up with a bunch of greenhorns, or a bass player who isn't very good, or ...who knows what?

 

My advice would be to stick it out until you at least have another player or two lined up and feel confident you can move into something BETTER relatively easily and quickly.

[TIMKEYS]

I think lots of band guys have the old I am gonna quit feeling ,, but most dont wear it on their sleeve on HC. I just look at it as normal when it comes to bands. You have a bad night or practice ,, come home ,, shake if off and go back at it.

[MellowMateo]

 

I have no idea. But the MO is the same with every one---that combination of arrogance/immaturity/ignorance in posts filled with many "..."s and not understanding the difference between "your" and "you're"---makes him pretty easy to spot. He obviously doesn't even TRY to be discreet about who he is.

 

 

Internet toughguy syndrome at its finest.

[snoggin]

I do believe the hardest thing to do is stick it out.. I've only been at this three years and keep hoping to find the right ingredients for long term band happiness..

 

I want, great harmonies,, original material,, cover material. high level of musicianship that pushes everyone involved. I may have found it and now i really want to try and keep it working . The only issues have been around the setlist and material. In a way its good as we are not playing the same old classic rock. Lots of the classics but also lots of 80's and some nineties. The Cure , Incubus, Eagles.. We can actually do a reasonable facsimile of eagles harmony

 

All five guys sing, There is a guy thats kinda filler but its like he is the sparkplug of the band and the gig getter.. Good gigs too not just standard dive bar stuff.. He can play a bit of guitar but other than that its four of us bass, drums me on guitar and a main vocalis with a great voice and the rest of uus arent too shabby.

 

I'd put up with a lot to keep the pieces together.. It is really tough to find good players period.. Good luck.

[tim_7string]

 

I do believe the hardest thing to do is stick it out.. I've only been at this three years and keep hoping to find the right ingredients for long term band happiness.. I want, great harmonies,, original material,, cover material. high level of musicianship that pushes everyone involved. I may have found it and now i really want to try and keep it working . The only issues have been around the setlist and material. In a way its good as we are not playing the same old classic rock. Lots of the classics but also lots of 80's and some nineties. The Cure , Incubus, Eagles.. We can actually do a reasonable facsimile of eagles harmony All five guys sing, There is a guy thats kinda filler but its like he is the sparkplug of the band and the gig getter.. Good gigs too not just standard dive bar stuff.. He can play a bit of guitar but other than that its four of us bass, drums me on guitar and a main vocalis with a great voice and the rest of uus arent too shabby. I'd put up with a lot to keep the pieces together.. It is really tough to find good players period.. Good luck.

 

 

You sound like you like a lot of the same things I do. My primary wants of a band sound is that everyone can sing harmony well and wants to work well together doing that. These guys had that with their five-piece, but it was the other three that did the vocal harmonizing.

 

Even though the bassist and drummer sing lead, they were both used to the other three backing them, but not doing the harmonies themselves when they weren't singing lead. They just let the other three harmonize with each other while they stayed quiet. Kind of unfair, really. So, no matter how much I prod, the bassist insists it is hard for him to figure out a backing part while playing bass and the drummer insists that he can only do harmonies on *some* songs, because he can't hear them like I can. I think these are both cop-outs and I'm tired of it.

 

Musically, the drummer is great. I think of ourselves as 2/3rds of Nirvana up there. He pounds away with fury and abandon like Grohl, while I slash away at rhythmic stabs and interesting lead bursts while I sing ala Cobain or perhaps Pete Townshend. Only problem is we don't have a strong, melodic bassist like Novoselic, so it's frustrating. I actually think his f***ing up the songs so much is why the drummer and I attack our instruments so hard, because we're irritated. I attack mine anyway, but I am more agitated than normal.

 

It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, because I do like the drummer's playing. Unfortunately, he doesn't see me as a frontman. He always compliments my guitar playing, but he intentionally never compliments my singing. I don't know if it is because he is a singer too, or just wants me to think I can be manipulated to "stay in my place" and just be a harmony guy that sings a few songs or if it's something else entirely. There's gotta be something in my personality that leads people to believe that I can be told what to do and give up things that I want to (and can) do. It's happened to me my whole life as a musician.

 

All I know is I know what *I* want to do. I bought a guitar and microphone in early 1990 because in the years previous, I saw myself as a musician that sings lead (ala Geddy Lee, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine and later Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Billy Corgan). I don't see myself budging from my role as a lead vocalist/lead guitarist ever again. I took a few side roads over the years just to get into a band as a bassist/keyboardist or guitarist only, but I realize that was stupid now. I should have stuck to my guns and said, "*THIS* is what I do." The fact that he wants to try to change me that drastically speaks volumes about him and what he is really like and I can't deal with a person like that anymore.

[WTF1967]

It's ok guys, I assume we'll be able to read more posts on the same subject in a year or so when the next band fails. I've met/played with guys like this who are never happy. To Tim: Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you've gotta have more realistic(realistic, not lower) expectations. Sounds like you've been around the block a few times. You should just go out by yourself with a little PA and a guitar. Maybe a duo with the missus. This will probably make you happier.

[snoggin]

Someone tell me how to multiquot please!

 

So Tim, i think i am a pretty strong vocalist too and i like to front also. Best of al worlds in my view is to have multiple people CAPABLE of doing that.. I have one of those voices thats not classicly beautiful but i have a good ear and pitch and my voice is very distinctive.. Kinda like a Bon scott or Dylan or maybe even Tom petty.. The guy that we consider the lead vocalist has good range and just a great tone to his voice thats very rich sounding. Two of us can sing very high harmony and the other too can hit the peices in the middle and whhen we back him up it sounds like a choir of angels.

 

Thats what I am about. I like to sing lead and I get too do some but on a lot of songs our band works better with him on lead and me backing up and tearing it up on guitar. THAT is also what I am about. This is a BAND

 

The other guys may not be bull{censored}ting you that they are incapable of doing much harmony.. I have come across it several times , people who have a reasonable singing voice but cant sing harmony to save their life. Its a skill , and some find it natural and some can learn and some cant..

 

I just started to really work at it in the last 9 months or so and i am constantly listening for the harmony in everything I hear and it's always there.. I really enjoy when we as a group can hit a chord together and the whole room LIGHTs UP !!

 

 

I hope we stick together man

 

 

PS, I know how it is in a trio if one of the pieces cant pull the weight, it sucks some of the fun out.. Still it sounds like you might try to make it work.. The drummer is a good player and singer.. If i were you i'd stick with that and all the work you have put in and try and organize another project on the side.. You cant lose that way.

 

One thing is you cant blame others for your musical happiness or unhappiness ya know.. i have caught myself feeling that way and int the end its me I need to be looking at.

 

 

 

 

You sound like you like a lot of the same things I do. My primary wants of a band sound is that everyone can sing harmony well and wants to work well together doing that. These guys had that with their five-piece, but it was the other three that did the vocal harmonizing. Even though the bassist and drummer sing lead, they were both used to the other three backing them, but not doing the harmonies themselves when they weren't singing lead. They just let the other three harmonize with each other while they stayed quiet. Kind of unfair, really. So, no matter how much I prod, the bassist insists it is hard for him to figure out a backing part while playing bass and the drummer insists that he can only do harmonies on *some* songs, because he can't hear them like I can. I think these are both cop-outs and I'm tired of it. Musically, the drummer is great. I think of ourselves as 2/3rds of Nirvana up there. He pounds away with fury and abandon like Grohl, while I slash away at rhythmic stabs and interesting lead bursts while I sing ala Cobain or perhaps Pete Townshend. Only problem is we don't have a strong, melodic bassist like Novoselic, so it's frustrating. I actually think his f***ing up the songs so much is why the drummer and I attack our instruments so hard, because we're irritated. I attack mine anyway, but I am more agitated than normal. It's kind of like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, because I do like the drummer's playing. Unfortunately, he doesn't see me as a frontman. He always compliments my guitar playing, but he intentionally never compliments my singing. I don't know if it is because he is a singer too, or just wants me to think I can be manipulated to "stay in my place" and just be a harmony guy that sings a few songs or if it's something else entirely. There's gotta be something in my personality that leads people to believe that I can be told what to do and give up things that I want to (and can) do. It's happened to me my whole life as a musician. All I know is I know what *I* want to do. I bought a guitar and microphone in early 1990 because in the years previous, I saw myself as a musician that sings lead (ala Geddy Lee, James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine and later Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Billy Corgan). I don't see myself budging from my role as a lead vocalist/lead guitarist ever again. I took a few side roads over the years just to get into a band as a bassist/keyboardist or guitarist only, but I realize that was stupid now. I should have stuck to my guns and said, "*THIS* is what I do." The fact that he wants to try to change me that drastically speaks volumes about him and what he is really like and I can't deal with a person like that anymore.

 

[tim_7string]

It's ok guys, I assume we'll be able to read more posts on the same subject in a year or so when the next band fails. I've met/played with guys like this who are never happy. To Tim: Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you've gotta have more realistic(realistic, not lower) expectations. Sounds like you've been around the block a few times. You should just go out by yourself with a little PA and a guitar. Maybe a duo with the missus. This will probably make you happier.

 

Hey, if we took away all the bitching about other bandmembers, this forum would be pretty dead, I think.

 

I do want to do the solo thing. I'd like to do the duo thing with my wife too, but she does not like how empty it sounds when we play something like "Wonderful Tonight" where I play the lead part and she just plays the root bassline. I told her that I would strum chords in the duo, but I'm not sure if she is convinced. We'll see. I'll try to get either one going very soon here. I'm starting to make up a list of songs I can pull off acoustically in preperation for this.

 

My expectations are that I play with people I enjoy playing with. While I like the drummer's playing, his personality is very irritating and jarring. I tried to be friends with him and he just basically told me "I don't see us chopping wood together anytime soon." So, no real loss there. Ironically, the bass player is a fun, loveable goofball guy and I enjoy his personality. However, there is a shrewdness behind that front and I can see that too. I would put up with some of it if his playing was at the level that the drummer and I are at, but it's far below. It's amateur hour.

 

I guess I'd rather not play at all than be embarassed or angry onstage all the time. Bands should be FUN. I'm not having fun. It's pretty much that simple.

[tim_7string]

Someone tell me how to multiquot please!

 

Click on Reply With Quote.

Type your response after what they say.

Click Post Quick Reply.

After it's posted, go to whoever else's post you want to quote and click Reply With Quote.

Select the text in the Quick Reply box (highlight, click and drag).

Hit Ctrl+C on the keyboard. This will select the text that was highlighted.

Hit Cancel on that Quick Reply box.

Go to Edit Post on the post you just made before.

Find an area where you want to put the other quote and click in the box.

Hit Ctrl+V to paste your 2nd quote where you want it.

Repeat the process until you have all the quotes you like.

There ya go!

 

So Tim, i think i am a pretty strong vocalist too and i like to front also. Best of al worlds in my view is to have multiple people CAPABLE of doing that.. I have one of those voices thats not classicly beautiful but i have a good ear and pitch and my voice is very distinctive.. Kinda like a Bon scott or Dylan or maybe even Tom petty.. The guy that we consider the lead vocalist has good range and just a great tone to his voice thats very rich sounding. Two of us can sing very high harmony and the other too can hit the peices in the middle and whhen we back him up it sounds like a choir of angels. Thats what I am about. I like to sing lead and I get too do some but on a lot of songs our band works better with him on lead and me backing up and tearing it up on guitar. THAT is also what I am about. This is a BAND

 

I have tried that approach over the years, having multiple singers. In fact, starting out, it was my dream to have two singers fronting the band, like The Eagles, The Beatles, The Cars, KISS, Goo Goo Dolls, ZZ Top, Cream, Devo, Biohazard, etc. Whenever I tried to do that with myself as one of the two singers, the other singer tried to take it over and push me into a supportive-only role. My choices became accept it, fire them (if I formed the band) or leave the group. I usually would leave or fire them if it was my band. Rinse, repeat. Apparently, it was too difficult of a concept for most people to want to deal with, the idea of having multiple singers. All the singers I met wanted to be THE singer and that's that. If I sang, it was only a distraction until THEY got to sing again. And of course they fully expected me to sing harmony backing for them, but they would never bother to do it for me when it was my turn to sing.

 

After years of this {censored}, I decided I'll just be the main singer in my own band when I form it and if I join someone else's group, I'll do what is necessary for that group. The problem comes into play when people still think I'm not confident enough in my vocal delivery and assume I don't want to be the lead singer. We don't all have to be Steven Tyler for chrissakes. I do just fine as a frontman. People in the audience have come up to me and told me so, strangers not family. So my only conclusion I can come to about musicians doing this to me is that they see me as a weak pushover and are trying to exploit that, then put their own ideas into the band, disregarding any that I have. I find this offensive and I either deal with it or I walk.

 

The other guys may not be bull{censored}ting you that they are incapable of doing much harmony.. I have come across it several times , people who have a reasonable singing voice but cant sing harmony to save their life. Its a skill , and some find it natural and some can learn and some cant..

 

Well, then I just need to hire people that CAN do this and avoid the ones that can't. I'll deal with someone who is a bit of an asshole as long as they harmonize for me when I'm singing and don't try to withhold it or not bother to step up their own game for the good of the band. The drummer was like this in my band I had in 2005-2006. He was an arrogant s.o.b., but he would always harmonize for me when it came my turn to sing lead. I did it for him too when he sang lead, despite my loathing of him. I considered it the professional thing to do. I was glad he felt the same way.

 

I just started to really work at it in the last 9 months or so and i am constantly listening for the harmony in everything I hear and it's always there.. I really enjoy when we as a group can hit a chord together and the whole room LIGHTs UP !!

 

Yep, that is what I love too. It's a beautiful sound and it's great to see other people enjoy it too. I love vocal harmony and always have. It's been my cross to bear that I haven't had much luck in finding people that can do it well.

 

I hope we stick together man

 

As long as you all can communicate with each other and keep each other happy, it just might happen.

 

PS, I know how it is in a trio if one of the pieces cant pull the weight, it sucks some of the fun out.. Still it sounds like you might try to make it work.. The drummer is a good player and singer.. If i were you i'd stick with that and all the work you have put in and try and organize another project on the side.. You cant lose that way. One thing is you cant blame others for your musical happiness or unhappiness ya know.. i have caught myself feeling that way and int the end its me I need to be looking at.

 

The drummer is a good player, but he is conficting with me as the guy who talks on the mic. I can't control the show vocally if I have someone always interrupting and saying, "All right...so how's everybody doing out there? Great, great..well this next song is by a band called...." while I'm trying to keep songs flowing and keep the party moving. If he were simply a drummer, I'd say yes, I agree. But there is tension there because he was used to talking on the mic in his former band because the harmonizing guys didn't talk to the crowd and is finding tension when *I* am talking to the crowd. I don't need to deal with that crap.

 

And I'm not trying to blame others for my unhappiness. Ultimately, I have high standards and the only thing I can say about that is that I need to play with people that have high standards as well. If I'm the only one striving for greater and two other guys are happy just plunking away, it's not going to go very far. We all need to be on the same page, and they aren't on mine.

[Vito Corleone]

Click on Reply With Quote. Type your response after what they say. Click Post Quick Reply. After it's posted, go to whoever else's post you want to quote and click Reply With Quote. Select the text in the Quick Reply box (highlight, click and drag). Hit Ctrl+C on the keyboard. This will select the text that was highlighted. Hit Cancel on that Quick Reply box. Go to Edit Post on the post you just made before. Find an area where you want to put the other quote and click in the box. Hit Ctrl+V to paste your 2nd quote where you want it. Repeat the process until you have all the quotes you like. There ya go!

 

Or, just use the "multi-quote" feature.

 

Click the "multi-quote" box to the right of the "reply with quote" box, and put a check-mark on every post you wish to quote from. Then click "reply with quote" and all the posts you checked with appear for you to quote from.

[tim_7string]

Ah, so that's what that little icon is for! We didn't have that in the previous version of vBulletin, did we?

[Vito Corleone]

 

Ah, so that's what that little icon is for! We didn't have that in the previous version of vBulletin, did we?

 

 

I think we did but, like a lot of stuff with that version, it wasn't working properly for a while.

[tim_7string]

Well, after much hemming and hawing (whatever that means), around 1:00 p.m. CST, I did it!

 

The original plan was to go to a birthday party at the town they lived in, but my wife and I don't have anything really nice to wear (it's a formal evening, cocktail party thing), and since I have a cold besides, I figured I'll just do it via text. So, this is what I sent:

 

"I have decided to leave (the band) after the February gigs. Thanks for everything, but it's time for me to go another road. Let me know if you have any questions."

 

I sent it to the bass player first, then forwarded it to the drummer. The drummer responded first, saying that I was a great guitar player, would be hard to replace me and that a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Cool.

 

Just gotta hear back from the bass player now.

 

We need a sigh of relief emoticon here. This one will have to do for now.

[Vito Corleone]

 

I sent it to the bass player first, then forwarded it to the drummer. The drummer responded first, saying that I was a great guitar player, would be hard to replace me and that a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Cool.

 

 

Sounds like they saw it coming, which is usually the case. Like I said before, 9 times out of 10 all the consternation over quitting is for naught.

 

Time to get started on your next project! Good luck!

[tim_7string]

Sounds like they saw it coming, which is usually the case. Like I said before, 9 times out of 10 all the consternation over quitting is for naught.

 

Yep. Finally heard back from the bass player. His text was "Something happen? I hope u r not upset about anything." I replied, "I just have a certain way of wanting to do things and they conflict with what you & (the drummer) want to do. So, I think it's best we each pursue our own projects."

 

Right after that, my wife and I went to the local music store (rival to the one I teach at, but our friend works there, so we go in from time to time). The music store owner told us with glee that "they" were already looking for my replacement and asked him if he knew any guitar players. I smiled and asked him, "And what did you tell them?" He said, "I told them I don't know any guitar players." I laughed. He wouldn't tell me even if he did. I was tickled by the whole thing.

 

So, obviously, there is no love lost there if they're already looking to replace me not even an hour after the bass player responds!

 

Time to get started on your next project! Good luck!

 

Thanks, David! Already working on it. I told the wife she's going to go through "music boot camp" (playing for hours every single day/night) and she said that she's up for it. I'm thinking within a few weeks, we'll be gigging.

[mr3lions]

Yep. Finally heard back from the bass player. His text was "Something happen? I hope u r not upset about anything." I replied, "I just have a certain way of wanting to do things and they conflict with what you & (the drummer) want to do. So, I think it's best we each pursue our own projects." Right after that, my wife and I went to the local music store (rival to the one I teach at, but our friend works there, so we go in from time to time). The music store owner told us with glee that "they" were already looking for my replacement and asked him if he knew any guitar players. I smiled and asked him, "And what did you tell them?" He said, "I told them I don't know any guitar players." I laughed. He wouldn't tell me even if he did. I was tickled by the whole thing. So, obviously, there is no love lost there if they're already looking to replace me not even an hour after the bass player responds! Thanks, David! Already working on it. I told the wife she's going to go through "music boot camp" (playing for hours every single day/night) and she said that she's up for it. I'm thinking within a few weeks, we'll be gigging.

 

In all fairness you were looking for replacements for them a lot earlier.

 

Anyway, good luck with your new project I wish you the best.

[tim_7string]

 

In all fairness you were looking for replacements for them a lot earlier.

 

 

Actually, it's hard to say. They might have been looking for a replacement for me even sooner than that, but couldn't find one and just had to make do for the moment. Now that I made it a statement of fact, they had to start immediately. Or, you could be right.

 

In any event, it's done and I'm working on my next band. Not even sure if I'm doing the February gigs still yet. I'll leave that up to them, though.

 

 

Anyway, good luck with your new project I wish you the best.

 

 

Thank you, sir.

[Vito Corleone]

So, obviously, there is no love lost there if they're already looking to replace me not even an hour after the bass player responds!

They'd be stupid not to. What are they supposed to do? Sit around crying about how their guitarist quit on them? If it was me, I'd be on the phone within minutes trying to hunt up a replacement. That's what you do---you pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on. Besides, your old gigs are now up for grabs. First one of you guys that has a new band up and running has the inside track on bookings. You guys weren't playing a full schedule as it was. Now they'll likely just be one more band trying to book the few available dates.

[Vito Corleone]

 

Not even sure if I'm doing the February gigs still yet. I'll leave that up to them, though.

 

 

If it's up to them, I'm sure they'd rather be doing it with the new guy. Nobody is going to be comfortable playing out those gigs, and they certainly want to move on as soon as possible. If they find somebody right away, they'd almost certainly be doing the gigs with them. But it was good of you to offer to play out the dates.