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What happened to the "I'm Outta Here" thread?


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It's like getting pissed at your buddies during a game of football at the park, you grab your football, say "screw you guys" and walk to the parking lot... and realize you forgot your keys in the grass. You'd sneak back and grab yer keys if you could...

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It is my understanding that a moderator, upon request from the OP, can delete a thread. (A mod can do it on the mod's own volition, too.) I recall a different thread where a different OP belatedly recognized that he had made incriminating statements, and asked the mod to delete the thread.

Lord knows I've said things in RL which I wish could be deleted so easily.

I hope that Wade returns and participates in the forum. Mark C.

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Quote Originally Posted by Miko Man View Post
It is my understanding that a moderator, upon request from the OP, can delete a thread. (A mod can do it on the mod's own volition, too.) I recall a different thread where a different OP belatedly recognized that he had made incriminating statements, and asked the mod to delete the thread.

Lord knows I've said things in RL which I wish could be deleted so easily.

I hope that Wade returns and participates in the forum. Mark C.
Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight View Post
It's like getting pissed at your buddies during a game of football at the park, you grab your football, say "screw you guys" and walk to the parking lot... and realize you forgot your keys in the grass. You'd sneak back and grab yer keys if you could...
You'd sneak back... and ask the moderator to delete yer thread.
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The "I'm Outta Here" thread caused me to pause and consider "what IS it about this forum" that has so many threads erupting into personal attacks, hurt feelings, and people threatening to take their balls and go home so often? Is it just happenstance related to the people who happen to frequent this forum?

I decided--no. This forum actually IS different. Unlike the other forums on this board--which center around musical equipment, how to play licks, or pics of boobies, THIS one is the most personal. Discussions of HOW people perform and present themselves onstage is often going to spill over into discussions (or at least insinuations) about who they are as people. Something as simple as a discussion about wearing shorts on stage risks somebody becoming personally offended.

Easier said than done, of course, but it would probably serve us all well to remember this and both post with a bit more personal sensitivity AND grow a bit tougher skin and not takes things so personally.

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Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight View Post
It's like getting pissed at your buddies during a game of football at the park, you grab your football, say "screw you guys" and walk to the parking lot... and realize you forgot your keys in the grass. You'd sneak back and grab yer keys if you could...
I'm good with your analogy ... right through the "...and walk to the parking lot...." part.

I'd replace the stuff about the keys with something along the lines of "...and walk to the parking lot - while constantly looking back over your shoulder, waiting for all your buddies to come running up and tell you they didn't mean anything and begging you to stay".

The "sneaking back...." part, is analogous to that moment of clarity that occurs when you come to the realization that nobody's running after you and that the game is continuing uninterrupted without you.
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Quote Originally Posted by SpaceNorman View Post
I'm good with your analogy ... right through the "...and walk to the parking lot...." part.

I'd replace the stuff about the keys with something along the lines of "...and walk to the parking lot - while constantly looking back over your shoulder, waiting for all your buddies to come running up and tell you they didn't mean anything and begging you to stay".

The "sneaking back...." part, is analogous to that moment of clarity that occurs when you come to the realization that nobody's running after you and that the game is continuing uninterrupted without you.
smile.gif

yeppers
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Quote Originally Posted by guido61 View Post
The "I'm Outta Here" thread caused me to pause and consider "what IS it about this forum" that has so many threads erupting into personal attacks, hurt feelings, and people threatening to take their balls and go home so often? Is it just happenstance related to the people who happen to frequent this forum?

I decided--no. This forum actually IS different. Unlike the other forums on this board--which center around musical equipment, how to play licks, or pics of boobies, THIS one is the most personal. Discussions of HOW people perform and present themselves onstage is often going to spill over into discussions (or at least insinuations) about who they are as people. Something as simple as a discussion about wearing shorts on stage risks somebody becoming personally offended.

Easier said than done, of course, but it would probably serve us all well to remember this and both post with a bit more personal sensitivity AND grow a bit tougher skin and not takes things so personally.
Yeah.

And over at the Songwriting Forum, where it can get very, very personal, the only reason it doesn't explode into a rage every other day is because the guidelines are so spelled out. Any deviation from the guidelines and you're politely pointed back on track. It works surprisingly well considering the nature of what we're doing over there.

Plus, there really are a lot of wankers in the mix here (myself included I'm sure). Interweb Bullys and tough guys. Lot of close minded musos that like one narrow slice of music and piss on the rest. All mixed in with intelligent, together guys. It's a total cluster{censored} of divergent purposes and personalities. Quite frankly, I hear a lot of "I'm sure I would like you in person" but I kinda think that's probably not true with a lot of people here. I think it would be Armageddon. smile.gif
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Quote Originally Posted by Lee Knight

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Quite frankly, I hear a lot of "I'm sure I would like you in person" but I kinda think that's probably not true with a lot of people here. I think it would be Armageddon. smile.gif

 

This is true of all internet forums, but my belief is it works both ways. There are people here with which we have in-depth discussions whom, based on personality traits, lifestyle, etc, we might not even look twice at, let alone engage in conversation. And others with whom we argue with here that we'd probably get along quite well because we wouldn't go quite so in-depth about some things in person.
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Quote Originally Posted by guido61 View Post
The "I'm Outta Here" thread caused me to pause and consider "what IS it about this forum" that has so many threads erupting into personal attacks, hurt feelings, and people threatening to take their balls and go home so often? Is it just happenstance related to the people who happen to frequent this forum?

I decided--no. This forum actually IS different. Unlike the other forums on this board--which center around musical equipment, how to play licks, or pics of boobies, THIS one is the most personal. Discussions of HOW people perform and present themselves onstage is often going to spill over into discussions (or at least insinuations) about who they are as people. Something as simple as a discussion about wearing shorts on stage risks somebody becoming personally offended.

Easier said than done, of course, but it would probably serve us all well to remember this and both post with a bit more personal sensitivity AND grow a bit tougher skin and not takes things so personally.
I think there are a couple factors at work here. First, as you say, a lot of the stuff here goes to the heart of people's identities as musicians---even as people. If I like Fenders and somebody else likes Gibsons, I'm not going to get all bent out of shape if he says that Strats suck and Les Pauls rule, because my Fender preference is not (for me, at least) an integral part of who I am. But in this forum it seems there are often discussions that end up getting into people's fundamental philosophies of art, music, etc., and in that case somebody attacking position X may well be hitting a very sensitive spot for someone else.

But another factor that I see here is the "smartest guy in the room" factor. I suspect that many of the regulars on this forum are atypical in their bands and maybe in their local scenes for being more concerned than everybody else with the kinds of issues that are discussed here. And in general, will have more knowledge about and have given more thought to those issues than the other musicians they interact with. But in the community of this forum, that level of interest is the norm, and on any given topic there may well be someone here who knows more or has better ideas than you.

Reactions to this vary. Some people are thrilled to find other people interested in these topics and willing to talk about them. But for some people who are used to being The Guy Who Knows about this stuff, the transition to being not special, and maybe even LESS knowledgeable than a lot of other people, can be tough. I think this has been a source of friction for Wade in particular: I get the impression that he has generally been more serious about things than many of the people he's played with, but he has a fairly narrow perspective, and did not transition smoothly to not being The Guy Who Knows in this community.
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Quote Originally Posted by Vermoulian View Post
Reactions to this vary. Some people are thrilled to find other people interested in these topics and willing to talk about them. But for some people who are used to being The Guy Who Knows about this stuff, the transition to being not special, and maybe even LESS knowledgeable than a lot of other people, can be tough. I think this has been a source of friction for Wade in particular: I get the impression that he has generally been more serious about things than many of the people he's played with, but he has a fairly narrow perspective, and did not transition smoothly to not being The Guy Who Knows in this community.
Wow. Pretty insightful.

Really. No snark intended. I think you hit it dead on.
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Quote Originally Posted by guido61 View Post
The "I'm Outta Here" thread caused me to pause and consider "what IS it about this forum" that has so many threads erupting into personal attacks, hurt feelings, and people threatening to take their balls and go home so often? Is it just happenstance related to the people who happen to frequent this forum?
.
Sure is. My participation here has dropped from fairly active to "Eh why bother, the same 3 or 4 people are just going to muck everything up anyway"

And that is a pretty recent development. In my opinion this place would be a lot better if there was a more hard nose approach and some of these asshats just banned. But that will likely not happen.


Quote Originally Posted by Vermoulian View Post
I think this has been a source of friction for Wade in particular: I get the impression that he has generally been more serious about things than many of the people he's played with, but he has a fairly narrow perspective, and did not transition smoothly to not being The Guy Who Knows in this community.
BINGO. It's been the elephant in the room for a long time.

Have to admit I am a little bummed that the thread is gone, because it probably means that nothing will change.

Ugh.
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Quote Originally Posted by vanlatte View Post
Sure is. My participation here has dropped from fairly active to "Eh why bother, the same 3 or 4 people are just going to muck everything up anyway"
Ditto.

As you in particular know, I used to yammer all the time here. Granted, things come up, life gets in the way, etc. But, I also have that "meh" feeling a lot of times. That being said, I do read the forum fairly regularly still. At least regularly enough to know that I can't decide whether to rejoice in his departure, or morn his passing. Seeing a response to just about anything from Wades pretty much always guaranteed a good time. And if you happened to be treated to a thread started BY him... well, that's like getting a Christmas present from your crazy uncle.
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Quote Originally Posted by THX1138 View Post
Ditto.

As you in particular know, I used to yammer all the time here. Granted, things come up, life gets in the way, etc. But, I also have that "meh" feeling a lot of times. That being said, I do read the forum fairly regularly still. At least regularly enough to know that I can't decide whether to rejoice in his departure, or morn his passing. Seeing a response to just about anything from Wades pretty much always guaranteed a good time. And if you happened to be treated to a thread started BY him... well, that's like getting a Christmas present present from your crazy uncle.

Agreed... Wade was like the Hunter S. Thompson of this forum. Crazy as f**k but cool enough I'd want to meet him in person just to see if he was that crazy. No way could I play in a band with him, but he's a good player and I'd go out to see most bands he's in.

Speaking of which... this forum misses you and Squealie. Even BndGirl. Hope things are good in Western VA. thumb.gif
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Quote Originally Posted by THX1138 View Post
Ditto.

As you in particular know, I used to yammer all the time here. Granted, things come up, life gets in the way, etc. But, I also have that "meh" feeling a lot of times. That being said, I do read the forum fairly regularly still. At least regularly enough to know that I can't decide whether to rejoice in his departure, or morn his passing. Seeing a response to just about anything from Wades pretty much always guaranteed a good time. And if you happened to be treated to a thread started BY him... well, that's like getting a Christmas present from your crazy uncle.
Holy Shnizit! Blast from the past, man I miss you guys frown.gif

And what have you done with BndGrl mad.gif

Hows that Midwest tour shaking out? icon_lol.gif

EDIT: Oh crap, I just found your FB page. Dammit, see this is what happens when quality people are driven away by Assholes, I had no idea you guys are not together anymore.

frown.gif
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To be honest, I have a soft spot for Wade....back in the day, he was about the only guy that 'put up or shut up' when called out...about the only guy that actually showed, in real definable terms some talent and capability..

Wade has to learn what I learned...if they don't post up their music, you don't take them seriously.

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