Members lems16 Posted November 25, 2023 Members Share Posted November 25, 2023 Hi, I could really do with some advice. I have been with the same band for over 5 years now (I am the lead singer and play keys). Everytime I voice my concerns and say we need to gig (we currently do one charity gig a year) or open mics it starts off okay, but then grinds to a halt (half the band do not organise anything and I seem to be the one sorting out the band page/Facebook). To cut a long story short there have been various disagreements, recently with the guitarist and myself, including the guitarist walking off and leaving the rest of the band in the lurch one evening at an open mic is justo me example ( I tried to speak with the guitarist but it went down like a lead balloon), for the past two months when I have tried to leave, the drummer and bassist have put doubts into my head. However, I no longer have passion for the band and to be honest am fed up with practicing week after week for one charity gig a year. How do I leave? I keep trying to think of ways to say it but can't seem to have the courage to do it. I have written some of the material and would hate that to be still used within the band, but if it came to it I could. I feel very torn, any ideas? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted November 27, 2023 Moderators Share Posted November 27, 2023 Just walk away. You have no contract. You have no obligation, especially after five years. I was in a similar situation several years ago with a side project. We were working the bassist's originals for over a year, did several 'charity gigs', a birthday party, a Xmas show. I brought in a couple of originals of my own. When I suggested we start playing 'showcases', the bassist balked...I walked. To be fair, I had my regular band at the time, and was doing side gigs for other people, but I was 'invested' in the originals band enough that when the primary writer didn't have enough faith in what we were doing, then it was pointless. Make certain you file a copyright on your original materials!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members badpenguin Posted November 28, 2023 Members Share Posted November 28, 2023 Basically, throw your hands up in the air and tell them "I'm done." You've done what you could to gig more, they don't seem to care, find yourself a band that WANTS to work and gig. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Outkaster Posted November 30, 2023 Members Share Posted November 30, 2023 You might have to just walk away. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members New Trail Posted December 19, 2023 Members Share Posted December 19, 2023 Ghost them. JK, but not really. In our originals band the bass player started ghosting us. He wouldn't respond to texts or answer phone calls. Even a call to his wife asking him to at least call us to tell us what's going on led to nothing. So, if you're truly unhappy with the band and you don't see the possibility of a reasonable resolution just start being unavailable. Ghost them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators daddymack Posted December 21, 2023 Moderators Share Posted December 21, 2023 On 12/19/2023 at 6:22 AM, New Trail said: Ghost them. JK, but not really. In our originals band the bass player started ghosting us. He wouldn't respond to texts or answer phone calls. Even a call to his wife asking him to at least call us to tell us what's going on led to nothing. So, if you're truly unhappy with the band and you don't see the possibility of a reasonable resolution just start being unavailable. Ghost them. Actually that is unfair to the rest of the band... because they could be spending their time looking for a replacement instead of trying to track you down.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Notes_Norton Posted December 26, 2023 Members Share Posted December 26, 2023 Sadly, being in a band is a little like being in a marriage in that there is no way to get out of it without hurting somebody's feelings big-time. But you gotta do what you gotta do. When you are absolutely sure you need to leave, get them all together, and lay it out straight. Tell them you can't do it anymore, wish them luck, and say good-bye. Notes ♫ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Diary Of An Axeman Posted February 19 Members Share Posted February 19 Just talk to them, take your gear home and start looking to form your own band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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