So... Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco might be debuting at taco bell this year...

[Zappa74]

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

Liar.

Blowing loud mud when other people are in a public bathroom is a great pleasure. Don't pretend you didn't love doing it.

[live-I-evil]

Originally Posted by ben_allison

Cool Ranch has to be the absolute worst flavour in the world... second only to Mountain Dew.

You're seriously just gonna stroll in this thread and say "{censored} you" to all that America has to offer? The Cool Mountain Dew Ranch are the colors that never run in this country.

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

OK, so maybe it's not for everyone.

Originally Posted by HopeStreet

hot bag.

Man, I thought it was when you roll in to Circle K/7-Eleven/AM-PM/7th layer of Hell and pop open a Doritos bag and fill it with the nacho cheese from the dispenser by the fountain drinks. You'd be hard pressed to find a more expressively unimpressed face than the one on the cashier as you hand them a warm, weighted bag of Doritos and disappointment and the both of you try to act as if it's just another normal 99 cent chip bag that's definitely not filled with a pound and a half of fake cheese.

[live-I-evil]

Originally Posted by ben_allison

Cool Ranch has to be the absolute worst flavour in the world... second only to Mountain Dew.

You're seriously just gonna stroll in this thread and say "{censored} you" to all that America has to offer? The Cool Mountain Dew Ranch are the colors that never run in this country.

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

OK, so maybe it's not for everyone.

Originally Posted by HopeStreet

hot bag.

Man, I thought it was when you roll in to Circle K/7-Eleven/AM-PM/7th layer of Hell and pop open a Doritos bag and fill it with the nacho cheese from the dispenser by the fountain drinks. You'd be hard pressed to find a more expressively unimpressed face than the one on the cashier as you hand them a warm, weighted bag of Doritos and disappointment and the both of you try to act as if it's just another normal 99 cent chip bag that's definitely not filled with a pound and a half of fake cheese.

[goodhonk]

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

best description of dorito tacos evar.

also, there goes my new years resolution.

[goodhonk]

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

best description of dorito tacos evar.

also, there goes my new years resolution.

[guitardustin]

 

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

 

It takes an average of 24 to 72 hours for food to completely pass through your digestive system. It can actually take up to about 90 hours depending on your metabolism. Your ass explosion was probably due to something you had the day before. Not saying taco bell couldn't create an ass explosion, but ya know.

[guitardustin]

 

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

 

It takes an average of 24 to 72 hours for food to completely pass through your digestive system. It can actually take up to about 90 hours depending on your metabolism. Your ass explosion was probably due to something you had the day before. Not saying taco bell couldn't create an ass explosion, but ya know.

[Zappa74]

the best thing on twitter is when Neil Hamburger retweets like a hundred random people that just tweeted about having taco. bell {censored}s.


he did it yesterday and it was gold

[Zappa74]

the best thing on twitter is when Neil Hamburger retweets like a hundred random people that just tweeted about having taco. bell {censored}s.


he did it yesterday and it was gold

[misterstomach]

 

Originally Posted by guitardustin

It takes an average of 24 to 72 hours for food to completely pass through your digestive system. It can actually take up to about 90 hours depending on your metabolism. Your ass explosion was probably due to something you had the day before. Not saying taco bell couldn't create an ass explosion, but ya know.

 

This was no "average" digestive experience, my friend. I know what happened. It was the Doritos locos.

[ben_allison]

Originally Posted by misterstomach

i don't eat fast food for the most part, or doritos. but when those dorito tacos came out, curiosity got the best of me. i was like "damn, i've got to try these things. what if it's amazing?" so one day last summer, my girl and i were driving out to spend the weekend at the coast and we were hungry. so we decide to just {censored}ing stop at the taco bell and get a snack and drive on down the road. of course i get some dorito tacos. turns out, they taste like fast food, which isn't really that good. whatever, now i've had them. about an hour later we stop at a grocery store to get some supplies for the weekend. while in the store, suddenly i am desperate need of an ass explosion. i find the bathroom and rush in there to do my wretched business. just as i'm on the brink of relief, some dude comes in to piss in the urinal. it's a small bathroom and i'm not excited about the intrusion. so i try to hold off til he's gone. dude pisses for {censored}ing ever and then decides to wash his hands for like ten minutes. i can't do it anymore and the ass explosion proceeds. i hate that this is happening, but that's life and this is a {censored}ing public restroom and i have no choice. he hurries up and gets out of there at that point. as soon as he opens the door to leave, i can hear that he has someone waiting for him and he bursts into hysterical laughter before the door even closes. mother{censored}er. my integrity is shot at this point. i'm stuck there for ten minutes {censored}ting my intestines out 'cause of these {censored}ing dorito tacos. mocked and laughed at. in terrible discomfort. {censored} that {censored}. i won't be trying these cool ranch flavored tacos.

Plot, character development, rising action, denouement.

This could be a filme.

[macadood]

yes honk'd! now if only we got these in canada

also, i don't understand how people get insta-{censored}s from taco bell...it takes your body well over 12 hours to digest food. i'm not sure its possible to just get the {censored}s right away and poo out your taco bell in a fiery wet explosion. maybe i just have an iron stomach

[HopeStreet]

 

Originally Posted by live-I-evil

Man, I thought it was when you roll in to Circle K/7-Eleven/AM-PM/7th layer of Hell and pop open a Doritos bag and fill it with the nacho cheese from the dispenser by the fountain drinks. You'd be hard pressed to find a more expressively unimpressed face than the one on the cashier as you hand them a warm, weighted bag of Doritos and disappointment and the both of you try to act as if it's just another normal 99 cent chip bag that's definitely not filled with a pound and a half of fake cheese.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ0bG_7L3Sw

[Zooey]

I don't like taco bell or cool ranch. But barring food poisoning, I can eat anything meant for human consumption without the least bit of digestive discomfort.

[goodhonk]

sounds like a dare

[juri]

 

Originally Posted by goodhonk

sounds like a dare

 

[ben_allison]

I read a study that linked AIDS to Cool Ranch Doritos.

[goodhonk]

colon cancer maybe.