Members DarkHorseJ27 Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Sorry for the off-topic thread, this will be my last off topic thread, I just didn't have access to any other place with mature people that are or have been married. I won't go through the whole story, just the main points: 1. My wife told me that she doesn't love me anymore, that I am ugly, and that no one likes me.2. Everything I do or say is wrong according to her.3. She had sex with another guy and doesn't think she should feel bad about it.4. Pushed for an open relationship so she could have sex with that guy and have it be okay, but decided against it because she felt uncomfortable with the idea of me being with another woman.5. Wants me to be friends with the guy she had sex with, and wants me to continue providing the security and support I've always given her.6. She is unwilling to see a marriage counselor.7. She is saying stuff about me that is making people hate me. So does this have a chance of working out, or will it still tank despite anything I might do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krash Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Why would you even have to ask? Run, don't walk, away from this mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MattSkibaIsGOD Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not a relationship expert, but I don't think anyone deserves that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Queequeg Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 based upon your last OT thread, the information you provided there, and now this latest chapter, You need an attorney fast. Or a therapist, if you intend to opt out of the attorney thing. Yes, your wife has "issues" (as we are fond of saying in Ann Arbor) but if you are considering continuing in this relationship, then I think you are as whacked as she is. (not to put too fine a point on it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 That sounds like a horrible situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 You need an attorney fast. That's probably the first order of business. CYA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members djuna Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Dude, seriously. Kick the bitch to the curb. And as the no doubt wise Queequeg says, get a lawyer as soon as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crewdog151 Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Well, I don't think this is real but.......Dude!!!!!! Why is this tramp still a part of your life? Gather your evidence and put this whore on the road! Theres always 3sides to every story but I cant imagine what you could do to "make" her commit adultery!!! Sounds like a slam dunk as far as grounds for divorce!!! Good luck with that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mjuenem Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 +1 What everyone else said. Time to write a new chapter. It's very hard to do, but you will soon have piece with it and your only compaint will be that you stayed as long as you did. Of course staying seems easier and makes us feel like we really did all we could do. Get out now and think of yourself, not anyone else (relative or not) around you. You can't change anybody but yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jamesp Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 I am truly sorry Darkhorse. Get your guitars and get outta there. Today. You'll be better off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Opa John Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Darkhorse, I can only echo what a previous poster said: "Run, don't walk, away from this mess". And, your first stop should be at a divorce lawyer's office! Obviously, you're very young. Otherwise you wouldn't even ask the question as to whether this will ever work out. Your situation sounds exactly like what I went through 44 years ago. And it hurts......I know. I dropped that b$%#! like a hot rock and never looked back. Hell..I couldn't tell ya if she's alive or dead......and couldn't care less! Seven years later I married my present wife. We've been going strong for almost 38 years now. If you think she's the "love of your life" and that there's no one who could replace her......well, you're just dead wrong!! Get out now before you get hurt more. You'll be a better man for it. You'll thank me down the road for this advice. Just pass it on to some other lost soul later on in life. She's a "LOSER", Darkhorse.......you don't want to be one too, do ya? And, if she comes crawlin' back, tell her that since she's already down there where she belongs, just keep on crawlin'!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuitarVlog Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Life is too short. This relationship (as you have summarized it) is not worth the effort to recover and to rebuild. It would be better to go through the difficulties of a divorce and start anew. There's no stigma. None of your friends will think any less of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gary Palmer Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 I honestly think you've been through enough. Kindly show her the way out of your home - providing a map with directions to where her boyfriend lives - and divorce her on the grounds of adultery, unreasonable behaviour and (Potentially) mental cruelty. Name her boyfriend as co-respondent and let her live in the bed she's made for herself whilst they both pay costs, etc., etc.. In her case beauty only goes skin deep and I'd drop her like a brick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members babablowfish Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 My esteemed colleagues are correct IMHO. Get a lawyer, fast. Then get yourself into therapy to look at the relationship and how you got there and where you want to go from here. And no, I do not believe that there is any chance of "saving" this relationship, nor do I believe it is something that ought to be "saved." Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JasmineTea Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Love is truely blind. Makes a perfect fool out of a person. (I know all about it...) And hence, when stuff like this happens to them, they find it necissary to ask whether a divorce is a viable solution. Not easy to think clearly once you're inside of it. From the outside-looking-in, it all becomes obvious. Later, when it's in back of you, you'll see it differently. Make up your mind to get out amicably, for your own sake, as on-going arguments do nothing to solve problems and cause only scars. Remember: There's something like 6-7 billion people on this planet, and about half of them are women. Surely you'll find someone who will treat you with good and fair reciprocal respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhancox Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 It's time to think about yourself, as she obviously has been thinking only of herself. Take the sound advice put forth to this point. It will be rough but it will pass. It's time to put your best interests up front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Starrshine Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Believe me, open marriages DO NOT WORK!! Even in the '60's when it was the thing to do. I speak from experience. Get out now and remember the old saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck!! Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brokepick Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 You have made several previous posts regarding problems with your significant other. If all you have said now and in the past is true, you need to open your eyes and face an unpleasant fact. You are being taken advantage of-- big time. You are being used. If I were in your position, I would be miserable. I'm not trying to be funny, but this ain't dear Abby. I'm also not trying to be cold, but this is life. Life can be a bitch. Man up. She doesn't love you. Get over it. Look out for yourself. Get out of that mess. Get an attorney. Get a therapist (for yourself) if you have to. You may not think so, but you can get by without her. There are plenty of people on this forum that care and want to help, but maybe you ought to seek out your family and real friends you have around you for help and support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members outdoorgb Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 based upon your last OT thread, the information you provided there, and now this latest chapter, You need an attorney fast. Or a therapist, if you intend to opt out of the attorney thing. Yes, your wife has "issues" (as we are fond of saying in Ann Arbor) but if you are considering continuing in this relationship, then I think you are as whacked as she is. (not to put too fine a point on it.) This.....And, you're much better than she is making you out to be. Get things sorted out and get on with life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NotDead Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 This bitch isn't worth a marriage counseller.Get the best lawyer in town, and sodium pentathol her into signing something saying she doesn't get a red cent. Your heart, and you, as a person, are worth more than she'll ever be.Get her out of you life, and make DAMN sure she regrets ever crossing you. Meanwhile get some support. This is a time when you need good friends to remind you what you're worth.Get through this, you'll be a better person for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Galabar Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Get yourself to a lawyer right away. As a married man, I can definitely say that the wife would be gone if she acted like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gthom Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 You have made several previous posts regarding problems with your significant other. If all you have said now and in the past is true, you need to open your eyes and face an unpleasant fact. You are being taken advantage of-- big time. . . . .Life can be a bitch. Man up. She doesn't love you. Get over it. Look out for yourself. Get out of that mess. This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TESmith Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 You know the right answers I had points one and two stated to me 30 days after we got married (Mine proceeded to tell me she married me because she thought I would be a get parent for her kids) Shortly after, she went on to point threee and also started using drugs heavily and seriously abusing alcohol with it.....I got out eventually, but not soon enough. I stayed to be there and look out for the kids, hers and ours, someone had to. Our relations were absolutley over but the kids could not take care of themselves, and she was no caretaker. Of course our wonderful court systems 24, 000.00 in legal fees, She has primary Custody of our twin girls, I pay her child support (which the girls do not see any of)She cleaned up for court She is using and drinking big time again. Child services do not care and will not car until the kids are actually hurt......I do not want to get started Back to Your situation, Yes you know the right thing to do and it is get the Hell out of that situation, My experiences have not had every step of your but I am so glad I am not with her, Unfortunatley I still have to deal with her as she is the mother of my twins. I was in my situation way longer than I should have, caused me alot of emotional scarring, you do not want more of that than has happened, believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JRUBICON Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 Not a chance Darkhorse! You need to show her the door and make sure it hits her right in the *** on the way out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guitar_stringer Posted January 16, 2009 Members Share Posted January 16, 2009 First off, don't feel you need to apologize about bringing it up here. Off topic? Yes. A trivial matter? No. Every post I read here, is the same answer. End it. Nobody (man or woman) deserves this. It will not get any better, only worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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