Members JerryBob Posted November 10, 2009 Members Share Posted November 10, 2009 Sounds encouraging. I would think a duo is right up your alley....like perfect. Get well soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members C70man Posted November 10, 2009 Members Share Posted November 10, 2009 LOL - you'd swear I was coming out of the closet or something! Seriously though, I've been wanting to do the right thing and be here for my family, but it's been a 24/7 thing and I need something to recharge my batteries. Still, I'm afraid that it may become a distraction from family; I've never gotten the sense that they're behind my playing because I do sort of use it as an escape. Just invite them to come and watch. What's the big deal? Living with a frustrated guitar player with a unfullfilled life would be a lot worse. They are YOUR family. That means, they love you, right? It's about sharing both ways. Don't get in a frizzy (guilt trip) over something that should be shared by the whole family. Everyone in your family will benefit from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted November 18, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 OK, it's just around the corner and I'm getting serious nerves now. I think I need a real slap in the head to get it back on straight. There's just so much on my mind that I'm afraid I'm gonna choke - or worse yet get kicked off the gig by the lady who asked me to play in the first place. Why? Because I assumed that my mom was gonna babysit and not insist on coming to see me play. I told her as such but she's being pushy about this and I'm gonna have to put my foot down. If we have to bring my kids I could potentially lose the gig because they're not well-behaved. In fact, the older one's autistic and prone to violent outbursts. The other's in his terrible two's. I don't even want them making the trip so we can hand them off to my wife. I need time to get in the right frame of mind. I also don't want my mom there because she's treating this like I'm still a kid and am in the class play or something. The fact of the matter is that this is a professional gig and technically I'm just there to help. If it were an open mic I'd have no problem but this is potentially a resume builder for me and my partner and I don't need a traveling circus along to screw it up for my partner or me. Jeez, my partner dismissed the other guy who was to play with us for something way less than this. He was just not able to practice with us due to work. Stupid me told her that I was having babysitting trouble last week and that my two little kids might be present for part of the gig and was taken aback. She seemed like she was gonna pull me too because she didn't want to seem unprofessional. I tried to do some fast talking to keep my place in the duo. Fact is that I want to do this badly - to the point that I feel like I "need" to do it just so I can prove that I can do it. No more "kinda sorta" with regards to the gravity of this. I should've done this sort of thing 20 years ago and it's now or never as far as I'm concerned. Now I'm afraid that maybe I've {censored}ed up yet another thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted November 18, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 Just invite them to come and watch. What's the big deal? Living with a frustrated guitar player with a unfullfilled life would be a lot worse. They are YOUR family. That means, they love you, right? It's about sharing both ways. Don't get in a frizzy (guilt trip) over something that should be shared by the whole family. Everyone in your family will benefit from it. I just reread this after posting the previous novel. The issue here is that I don't want to seem unprofessional if I'm distracted by the actions of my family. It's not that I'm ashamed of them (well, maybe a little) or that I don't want to share the experience with them but this just isn't the right time. If it were an open mic it'd be different. This is not just about me after all. I was asked to be part of a professional musical duo and any disruption by my entourage would reflect poorly on both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted November 18, 2009 Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 Usually our mind can conjure up way worse stuff than reality can duplicate... since you are very good at this playing and singing thing everything else will be secondary and fall into place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted November 18, 2009 Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 I think I need a real slap in the head to get it back on straight. *real slap in the head* No matter what happens, you're going to play the gig. You won't know what happens until you play the gig, so go play the gig and see what happens. If she's going to cancel on you because your family may show up, {censored} her. She doesn't deserve the priviledge of playing with you. No pro should ever lay that kind of trip on anyone. If someone does this, no pro. If a band leader told me that my family or friends couldn't show up to gig that was in a public place, I'd tell him to go get prison raped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Queequeg Posted November 18, 2009 Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 Neil, I think that you need a meeting of the minds with your wife & mother. Tell them what you told us in post #78. You need some help and support from them so that you can do this, as it is important to you. You've been there day in/day out with the kids and now you have to do this for yourself. Its for a couple of hours for crying out loud. Can they just do this one thing for you? It's not the 8th grade talent show. I understand exactly how you feel. If my family was attending I would be thinking about them and be unable to concentrate on the business at hand, and I don't have the issues with small children with or w/o behavioral problems."Need a little help here!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members S~R~O Posted November 18, 2009 Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 What would you do if I sang out of Tune....Would you get up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll try not to sing out of Key............ Oh, I get by with a little Help from my Friends.....Mm, I'm gonna try with a little Help from my Friends...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted November 18, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 *real slap in the head*No matter what happens, you're going to play the gig. You won't know what happens until you play the gig, so go play the gig and see what happens. If she's going to cancel on you because your family may show up, {censored} her. She doesn't deserve the priviledge of playing with you. No pro should ever lay that kind of trip on anyone. If someone does this, no pro.If a band leader told me that my family or friends couldn't show up to gig that was in a public place, I'd tell him to go get prison raped. Aw man, stack. Pretty harsh there. I think I worded things poorly on her take of the entire situation. She and I actually had a pretty long conversation about the whole thing and she knows full and well about how conflicted I'm about this. I told her previously that I was more comfortable with my kids not being there. Last night I told her why. She knows the deal: she's played for disabled kids, but in the appropriate setting. She's also had her own kids watch her from time to time, but they knew not to bother mommy. I don't think my kids would know that though. They've both had major tantrums and it basically ruins my day. As for my mother, I don't know what she's expecting but I need to tell her in no uncertain terms that this is a professional gig and it's gonna throw me off even if I have to help out with the kids before the show. Fact is that we have to be there at 5, it takes about an hour (it's rush hour on a Friday after all) to get there and my older guy doesn't get off the bus until 4:15 so it's really not doable unless I pull him out of school for the day - and I was planning on doing a couple of hours of warmup to boot. I need to be crystal clear on this with my mom. If she wants to come see me play there's an open mic the following Tuesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhancox Posted November 18, 2009 Members Share Posted November 18, 2009 Just my two cents, Neil, but I think it would be best if you went by yourself on this initial trip. If it comes to you doing more, then arrange for the family to be there. I think you're correct in being careful not to screw up this first gig. It would be extremely unfortunate if your family, mainly your mom and/or wife, insisted on not abiding by your wishes for this first gig. Your kids have no idea what's going on so they don't know what they would be missing. But the adults should be keenly aware of what this means to you and should respect that. If you are successful then there will be plenty of other opportunities for your family to see you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted November 21, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 The deed is done. I won't say that it's changed my life, but I'm glad I went through with it and I've got a little more $$$ to put in the GAS fund. It was a little rocky there for awhile and it's given me food for thought for the next time I try to get a professional gig. I think I need to establish my own personal musical style though. The folk songs just aren't me. I've had a more solid repertoire doing instrumental stuff and maybe I need to focus more on that, even though I do love to sing. I guess I need to find my own voice too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members larry50 Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 The deed is done. I won't say that it's changed my life, but I'm glad I went through with it and I've got a little more $$$ to put in the GAS fund. It was a little rocky there for awhile and it's given me food for thought for the next time I try to get a professional gig. I think I need to establish my own personal musical style though. The folk songs just aren't me. I've had a more solid repertoire doing instrumental stuff and maybe I need to focus more on that, even though I do love to sing. I guess I need to find my own voice too. All's well that ends well. Just a beginning. Any pics? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 That's it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Queequeg Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 Neil, how did it work out with your wife/kids/mom?personally I enjoy your instrumentals best, but that's my primary interest, anyway. Duets with a fiddle player would be cool... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guildfire Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 Talk about anti climatic. After all that build up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 Give us the scoop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members C70man Posted November 21, 2009 Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 Hehe - I don't think that she had plans to videotape it. I certainly don't have the means. BTW, I still got nerves and misgivings about how quick this is coming up. I wish we were all able to get together to practice more. Meanwhile, I wrote down some lyrics for a couple of originals last night. Now to put them to music. Nothing complicated, mind you. I just want to add something a little happier than songs like Rattlin' Bones, Eli the Barrow Boy, May The Circle Be Unbroken, etc. - all of which seem to center around death. This is s'posed to be a holiday show after all. The two songs I"m working on are about Thanksgiving festivities and the joy of relatives visiting over Christmas. BTW - I also have to find some tabs for some holiday songs that aren't openly religious. Stuff like Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells, etc. I guess I should have read all the post first......but for {censored}s and giggles......you can still check out STeve Goodmans Winter Wonderland...its a gas.....I butchered a version of it on the VOM...an authentic first take....you can listen to it...http://c70man.xanga.com/audio/0ccdf3033392/ But more important, just look it up online....if you have trouble finding it, pm me. I'm not aware of any "Goodman" tab on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kwakatak Posted November 21, 2009 Author Members Share Posted November 21, 2009 Give us the scoop... I spent a couple of hours doing some last-minute solo rehearsing, printing off clean lyric/chord sheet and then left my house 1.5 hours before the gig to drive down to the city. I even got there a half hour early. She showed up with her family to help unload her gear (guitar, music staff and two stools) and we got set up rather quickly. The people at the library were very accommodating and even hooked us up with bottled water. I think maybe we could have used some form of amplification though - but then that would've made audience participation harder. Once we got underway the time went quickly and the songs went off mostly without a hitch. We even got a group of kids to sing along. I mostly feel bad for causing stress over having an entourage. It turns out I kind of missed them. My wife and kids love the tune "Jingle Bell Rock" and we nailed it - twice. BTW - attendance was down from last year, I'm told. The entire city was having a hoiday kick off and there's a Macy's two blocks away that had a pretty big show there with Manhattan Transfer. Oh well, we got upstaged. :o/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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