What Advice Would You Give To Your Younger Self?

[Godsky]

Don't be an arrogant twat.

Respect ya band members more.

Think more with the "upper" head....

[blue2blue]

Assuming wisdom comes with age

Don't wait so long to try .0125's on your acoustic guitar.

[blue2blue]

 

Being fifty one years olde is something I never really thought of. Right now I'm homeless, jobless, and penniless. I would have tolde my younger self to holde on to your two 60's era strats and that mint shergolde masquerader . Don't sell the music man amp and cabs. Keep that deluxe twin. keep track of those first sixty songs in a shoe box. Keep that double stamped penny you found when you were nine and don't trade it for a shiney nickel. Dont' sell your kazuo yairis. Never ever cuss your boss out and walk off that job. Talk and visit with your mom more. Never rehash an olde flame.

Some hard lessons there. And some good ones.

 

Hang in there and good luck!

[Lee Flier]

 

How much can people change through self-effort? Difficult topic to think about objectively - we have so very much invested in the belief that we can change, alter our destinies, break old molds, find brave new worlds, etc... I do think our individual human natures are better described metaphorically as something like growing trees than something like blank sheets upon which anything can be drawn. Seems to me we can (in metaphor here) tend our "trees" in various ways through choices - trim this, encourage that, and so on - but we can't remove the old growth rings and basic patterns already laid down except by drastic measures that involve damage. Easier, too, to shape and form a young tree than an old, that's for sure. But there's always a need for pruning and encouraging new growth in the right directions at any age. But roots are roots, and you can't bend a trunk after a few years of growth.

 

 

I'm not talking about changing your nature. That won't work no matter what, and furthermore I don't think it's a very good idea! But I think that with reflection, you can separate those parts of yourself that are fundamental to being "you" from the parts that are dictated by fear, societal pressures and that sort of thing. And yes, you can change those. It's harder as you get older, for sure... but it can still be done and life has a way of throwing some help to those who are willing.

 

Trouble is, a lot of people don't bother doing the work of finding out who they are vs. who they wish they were or who is easier to be. Oftentimes when you put in that work, you find that your fundamental nature is something difficult to be - maybe it puts you at odds with society or having a so called normal life, and you don't like that. But I believe if you aren't true to yourself you pay a much bigger price in the long run, and if you are, it's much more fulfilling, even if difficult.

[techristian]

Go with the Pet Young Dan. Trust me. You don't want the TRS-80.

 

 

Dan

[rasputin1963]

I spent so many years trying to please my parents... nearly ten years. What a colossal waste of time that was. As you know, in pop music, time is of the essence, and you want to achieve something while you're still young. But I frittered away too many of my young years trying to live up to some of my parents' absurd, antiquated notions of who I should be.

 

I would say to my younger self: "Trust yourself! And don't let anyone else foist their limited ideas of who you should be upon you."

[Lucky #9]

Well, I can't be an astronaut.

 

Uh, Ken...check under my avatar. I am in orbit as we speak (so to speak).

[UstadKhanAli]

Uh, Ken...check under my avatar. I am in orbit as we speak (so to speak).

 

Ah, fair enough then!!!

[nat whilk II]

 

I'm not talking about changing your nature. That won't work no matter what, and furthermore I don't think it's a very good idea! But I think that with reflection, you can separate those parts of yourself that are fundamental to being "you" from the parts that are dictated by fear, societal pressures and that sort of thing. And yes, you can change those. It's harder as you get older, for sure... but it can still be done and life has a way of throwing some help to those who are willing. Trouble is, a lot of people don't bother doing the work of finding out who they are vs. who they wish they were or who is easier to be. Oftentimes when you put in that work, you find that your fundamental nature is something difficult to be - maybe it puts you at odds with society or having a so called normal life, and you don't like that. But I believe if you aren't true to yourself you pay a much bigger price in the long run, and if you are, it's much more fulfilling, even if difficult.

 

 

In my back-and-forth pondering of human nature and free will and all that jazz, at present I tend toward the view that human nature, at the fundamental level, has certain indissoluble conflicts. I'm not a Freudian to any significant degree, but I do see a lot of confirmation with the general idea he elaborated (tho' didn't actually invent) along those lines.

 

So in my way of looking at things, when you get to the fundamental level, the real work is just beginning. Find yourself first, at least in terms of where you came from and where you're at presently. But this leads to the next realization, which is "Who you are" is not one set thing. If there is a "who I am" that is unchangeable, I would personally think of it in such spiritual terms that it seems a bit beside the point of dealing with my day-to-day self with all it's tangles and troubles in the here-below.

 

In this view, the job is to improve on a conflicted, flawed fundamental nature, not take it as a deterministic given. By some miracle, however, our minds are capable of formulating ideas and entering into modes of being that look up and beyond to even transcend to some degree our given fundamental natures.

 

These are hard things to describe, and I don't like to get too caught up in precise definitions and lab-rat methods of analyzing such intangibles. But maybe you see my point, such as it is...

 

nat whilk ii

[Stan31]

You`ve been listening to too much Tony Robbins. Say you wanted to be the next Michael Jordan but you`re 40, 5 feet tall and weight close to 800 lbs.... its not happening. :poke:

 

Who's Tony Robbins?... I ain't kidding either - never heard of the guy.

 

And look - there's always an EXTREME case where the suggestions that apply to MOST people just MAY NOT apply. That doesn't mean that it's not a good idea for everyone else.

 

There are thousands - or maybe millions - of people out there who blame their bleak existence on just about everything and everyone - parents, school, government, economy, significant other who won't leave 'em alone, significant other who DID leave them...

 

The point I was trying to make - take the responsibility for where you are in your life, decide where you WANT to be - and start moving in that direction. It's really that simple.

 

When you are hungry - you do it automatically, without even thinking about it - you decide WHAT you want to it or how far you want to go, narrow down your choices to 1-2 and you go and eat (or cook and eat).

 

Apply that attitude to life - the moment you know what you want - go after it.

 

That's what I would tell my younger self.

 

Oh and :

 

"Make the best decision that you can with the information available to you. Do not regret it later when you have A LOT MORE information and might have decided differently if you only knew then what you know now... "

[rasputin1963]

 

Who's Tony Robbins?... I ain't kidding either - never heard of the guy.

 

 

 

I don't trust Tony Robbins. There's something bloodless and not-quite-human about him.... That same vacant slickness one sees in a Tom Cruise or Tiger Woods.

 

Tony Robbins uses his tall, suave handsomeness to get everywhere he goes... then he tries to tell people that they can do it, too. I hate it when people use sexual attraction to achieve their goals... then they tell people it was their savoir-faire, learning, positive attitude and grinding work that did it.

 

No, it was your sexually attractive good looks that did it. Don't pee on my leg and tell me that it's raining!

[Ernest Buckley]

 

There are thousands - or maybe millions - of people out there who blame their bleak existence on just about everything and everyone - parents, school, government, economy, significant other who won't leave 'em alone, significant other who DID leave them... The point I was trying to make - take the responsibility for where you are in your life, decide where you WANT to be - and start moving in that direction. It's really that simple. When you are hungry - you do it automatically, without even thinking about it - you decide WHAT you want to it or how far you want to go, narrow down your choices to 1-2 and you go and eat (or cook and eat). Apply that attitude to life - the moment you know what you want - go after it.

 

 

OK, got it. That makes perfect sense and I agree with you. Now as for Tony Robbins... google him.

[philbo]

I'd have told myself to stay in high school and go to college... but since I'm pretty stubborn, I probably wouldn't have listened to myself...

[coyote-1]

"You know that chick back in 7th grade, the one who'd already 'developed' and came to hang out at your locker all the time? Don't be so friggin' shy... BANG HER you idiot!"

[rjt]

Been reading this almost daily, tough question. I guess I have no regrets in the sense I don't know how something would have turned out if I did it differently. For example, I did terrible in high school.... spent most of my time staring out the window and barely graduated. After that I bummed around a few years and played tennis. When I finally got a "real" job I realized the world didn't owe me a living and went on to get advanced degrees.... which made my financial life pretty sweet. Now, I do think sometimes "Jeez, wish I didn't 'waste' that time after high school playing tennis and having low paying jobs. If I just would have gone to college right away, I would have 6-7 more years of nice income and could have retired already." Really? I don't think I was ready for college....so do I regret my choices? I think it was Herodotus who said "Call no man happy until he's dead." I take that to mean you can't judge an event in someone's life until the end because you can't possibly know every ramification of a choice. Of course Herodotus also said "Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances" .... so go figure! (By way of contradiction, he also said

[rasputin1963]

Been reading this almost daily, tough question. I guess I have no regrets in the sense I don't know how something would have turned out if I did it differently. For example, I did terrible in high school.... spent most of my time staring out the window and barely graduated. After that I bummed around a few years and played tennis. When I finally got a "real" job I realized the world didn't owe me a living and went on to get advanced degrees.... which made my financial life pretty sweet. Now, I do think sometimes "Jeez, wish I didn't 'waste' that time after high school playing tennis and having low paying jobs. If I just would have gone to college right away, I would have 6-7 more years of nice income and could have retired already." Really? I don't think I was ready for college....so do I regret my choices? I think it was Herodotus who said "Call no man happy until he's dead." I take that to mean you can't judge an event in someone's life until the end because you can't possibly know every ramification of a choice. Of course Herodotus also said "Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances" .... so go figure! (By way of contradiction, he also said

[rasputin1963]

One of the great gifts in life...is recognizing (early) a situation in which you can't win....ain't gonna win......ain't never gonna win.....

 

At 47, I don't waste my time in such situations... but in my twenties and into my thirties, I sure did persist in various situations in which the odds were just stacked WAY-Y against my favor.... My pride wouldn't let me see that...

 

Most of those windmills we tilt at in life aren't worth the tsuris... Some are, maybe, but the majority, not...

 

Tanya Tucker once had a hit that went, "If it don't come easy....you better let it go... 'Cause if it don't come easy, there's no natural flow..."

 

She was singing about a love relationship, but there are plenty of life instances in which this is true...

[rjt]

Raz....exactly....It is kind of an interesting question as "technically" I don't have any regrets.... I think my life worked out. I kinda suspect that it would have worked out better with some different decisions, but who knows? That's what makes it an interesting question (as so many are on this forum!)

[Ernest Buckley]

You know what? the more I think about it... my only suggestion to my younger self would be...

 

don`t take the red pill.

[rjt]

You know what? the more I think about it... my only suggestion to my younger self would be... don`t take the red pill .

 

Bad-a-bing... I like that!!!

[tim_7string]

Study harder. It will make a difference later.

 

Take electives to enhance what little schooling you will receive from 12-17. (I was cursed with living in very small towns during my middle school and high school years; very little opportunities to learn there)

 

You worked at a factory at the age of 18. You'll be doing the same at 40 if you don't listen to me. SO, with that in mind, take easy classes and stay in college as long as you possibly can. Get your AA, then a bachelor's degree, then a master's degree. Save the doctorate for the near future, but use that education for a career now.

 

As it pertains to music:

 

Sing. EVERY DAY. Sing harder. Sing smarter. Sing sing sing!!! Form your own band, with yourself as the lead singer. Don't worry if you suck now, you won't after a few years. That way, you won't be in your early thirties and finally sound the way you want. You'll be in your early twenties instead (the "right" age if you want superstardom).

 

Find people you enjoy playing music with. Avoid the ones that are sarcastic, jaded and just plain assholes in general. Life is too short to spend your time around jerks.

 

Write songs. Work on writing songs every day, even if it's just a melody line, a riff or a turn of phrase. It might blossom into the best song you ever wrote.

 

Let others help you, be it writing or performing. Don't try to do everything yourself. You'll end up frustrated, angry, sad and lonely.

 

Above all, make sure to save money, no matter how little or how much you are making at the time. You never know when you'll need it (and you WILL need it someday).

 

Great, now I'm depressed (kidding).

[~flipper]

I've got no regrets. Nevertheless, I can think of a couple things I might have advised myself to to either do differently, or at least, re-think:

 

1) When your introductory piano teacher, (who also happens to be playing with the SF Symphony) at your little community college, upon realizing that you 'don't' have a piano at home, and that you 'do' practice "here in class, before the exams" ... says (two weeks later) that his partners at the symphony will "put you through the Conservatory if you agree to drop out of this school", and you ask him why, and he says, "to turn you into a real pianist," try to come back with something better than, "But, I'm a guitar player."

 

2) When Leonard Cohen plays you a cassette of 4 or 5 of his newest tunes, and says, "The reason is, I want the next record to have some serious "oomph" in it, and I want you to produce it," don't come back with, "but, Leonard, it's all loaded with synths, and besides, I'm not a producer, I'm an electric guitar player."

 

Forty years after the "1)" story, and eighteen yrs after the "2)" story, I am here, trying to teach myself to read music (again, I was a serious clarinetist from age 5-13), so I can teach myself to actually "play" the keyboard, instead of "operate" it.

 

I've had a rather interesting life, and, like I said, no regrets (to speak of), but, really ... on numerous occasions (these being just 2 examples) I really could have used an adult, or a trusted girlfriend, or something ...

[Ernest Buckley]

 

I've got no regrets. Nevertheless, I can think of a couple things I might have advised myself to to either do differently, or at least, re-think: 1) When your introductory piano teacher, (who also happens to be playing with the SF Symphony) at your little community college, upon realizing that you 'don't' have a piano at home, and that you 'do' practice "here in class, before the exams" ... says (two weeks later) that his partners at the symphony will "put you through the Conservatory if you agree to drop out of this school", and you ask him why, and he says, "to turn you into a real pianist," try to come back with something better than, "But, I'm a guitar player." 2) When Leonard Cohen plays you a cassette of 4 or 5 of his newest tunes, and says, "The reason is, I want the next record to have some serious "oomph" in it, and I want you to produce it," don't come back with, "but, Leonard, it's all loaded with synths, and besides, I'm not a producer, I'm an electric guitar player." Forty years after the "1)" story, and eighteen yrs after the "2)" story, I am here, trying to teach myself to read music (again, I was a serious clarinetist from age 5-13), so I can teach myself to actually "play" the keyboard, instead of "operate" it. I've had a rather interesting life, and, like I said, no regrets (to speak of), but, really ... on numerous occasions (these being just 2 examples) I really could have used an adult, or a trusted girlfriend, or something ...

 

 

Well I have to ask... if you followed through on #1, was #2 ever going to happen? I always find these things very interesting because when you look back on life, one thing always leads into another.

 

Looking back on my life, some of my less than ideal experiences contained the seeds to "blessings" which panned out months/years later.

[~flipper]

 

Well I have to ask... if you followed through on #1, was #2 ever going to happen? I always find these things very interesting because when you look back on life, one thing always leads into another. Looking back on my life, some of my less than ideal experiences contained the seeds to "blessings" which panned out months/years later.

 

 

Yeah. Good question, and I do believe that the main 'argument' (which others have stated/alluded to) regarding "going back", brings me to a feeling that any change, for the sake of that 'one little' change, would alter everything, and not play out in some linear fashion, at all.

 

The thoughts of what usually happens in those genie-in-the-bottle/three-wishes fables always comes to mind, also.

 

I'm happy with where I am, today, all things considered.

[John Sayers]

my only advice would be "buy 10,000 Posidein shares when they are 10c and hang onto them until they reach $200, then sell.

 

oh - and get castrated at 15.