What Advice Would You Give To Your Younger Self?

[T. Alan Smith]

Be more open to allowing input from others.

[Jeff da Weasel]

 

Well, I think anyone who says they have no regrets are lying through their teeth for various reasons: 1. they either don`t think much 2. they just don`t want to feel that pain in the chest. We all know that feeling and it sucks.

 

 

I disagree. I made mistakes and bad decisions, but those things helped me to become the person I am today. Those things helped me grow. There's no guarantee that alternate decisions I made wouldn't have led to even worse circumstances.

 

I've led a great life so far. Who's to say that some of the bad choices I made didn't have their own role in allowing me to mature and be better in the long run?

 

So, I'll say it, and I'm not lying: I have no regrets. I'm very, very happy with how things have turned out so far. Call it whatever you want, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Even the bad things.

[nat whilk II]

From the point of view of my own life, I can pretty well adopt Jeff's attitude about accepting the good and the bad - pretty well, but I'll backslide from time to time.

 

But when I think about stupid, mean, or thoughtless things I've done to other people, I don't feel like I'm entitled to just "accept" those things - I regret them for the sake of those I've wronged and always will.

 

nat whilk ii

[Hard Truth]

I would teach myself how to have a conversation with people you don't know well. It took me a long time to figure that out, resulting in many lost opportunities, socially, sexually and vocationally.

 

I would also tell myself to go to a better college and put maximum effort into my internships.

 

And I would tell myself to take those ear training classes as soon as possible.

[blue2blue]

Three words: ART Dual Levelar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

j/k, mostly

[Lukenskywalker]

brush/floss twice a day

obey the Scout Law

obey the The US Navy's General 11 Rules

never run with scissors in your hand

wear rubbers/galoshes in the rain to keep your feet dry

do not piss/spit into the wind

do not poke the circus bear.

never volunteer for anything

change you bass strings as often as you can afford

never 'boil' your bass guitar strings, it doesn't work.

throw away anything made of polyester that your grandfather gave you, it will never come back in style and it smells of 'old guy'

never let a senior female member of your family slip you a little tongue when she bids you goodbye, you will end up on Jerry Springer...trust me.

always wear clean underwear, or at least some underwear in case you get in an accident.

pin your home address to your t-shirt/training bra.

keep a quarter in your shoe to make an emergency phone call

hold on to all your old vinyl LPs

buy land, they are not making anymore of it

go west, young man.

[ac30guy]

buy more guitars. PRS in particular.

[UstadKhanAli]

To use the word "regret" alludes to the idea that we can't use the lesson today. That somehow it's a closed case. I don't think in terms of regret as much as lessons learned . We're not dead here. I, for one, and from personal experience can say, it feels GREAT to apply these lessons to my current life. I've finally figured out how to keep the machine running happy.

 

I have regrets. They've been decisions that changed my life that I regret. I learned my lesson from these things. And I still regret those earlier decisions. I mean, I've accepted them. It's not like I have my panties in a bunch over these mistakes. I've learned my lesson. But I still regret doing them.

[Lee Flier]

I disagree. I made mistakes and bad decisions, but those things helped me to become the person I am today. Those things helped me grow. There's no guarantee that alternate decisions I made wouldn't have led to even worse circumstances. I've led a great life so far. Who's to say that some of the bad choices I made didn't have their own role in allowing me to mature and be better in the long run? So, I'll say it, and I'm not lying: I have no regrets. I'm very, very happy with how things have turned out so far. Call it whatever you want, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Even the bad things.

 

Yeah, I think this has a lot to do with it: whether you have regrets depends a lot on where you're at in life at any given time. If you think you're doing great now, it's easy to accept that all those past decisions you made (even the bad ones) may well have contributed to that. If you're not doing so well, it's easy to blame bad decisions you made in the past, and you might not be wrong. Then again, you might just be passing through a bad phase, after which it will become obvious how those previous "mistakes" helped you. You just never know, really.

 

A few years ago I was in a phase where I was going through a lot of crap and it made me question every major decision I made when I was younger, even the decision to become a musician. And maybe I was right to question those things , but I concluded that I couldn't really have done things any differently without becoming a completely different person.

 

I have regrets about stupid stuff. Like I wish I'd avoided dropping a large piece of firewood on my toe back in 1996 and smashing it to smithereens. It would've been easy to avoid, and I don't think it helped me any to have done that. But overall, the bigger decisions... even if they caused me some grief, I can't really imagine what else I would have done, after thinking a whole lot about it, so...

[MrKnobs]

I'd tell my younger self:

 

(1) Never touch a woman without love in it.

 

(2) When you start a relationship, make this promise to yourself and keep it: "I promise to enjoy this for what it is, for as long as it is, and, when it's over, to remember it for what it was, not for how it ended."

 

(3) Make this the cardinal rule of your life regarding other people: "Never get between someone and what they need to experience/learn in life, and never let anyone do that to you either."

 

(4) Spend countless hours on introspection and reflection, but not one single minute on regret.

 

(5) A woman you'll meet much later in your life will tell you, "In life, as in nature, there are no punishments or rewards, only consequences." Don't wait for her to tell you that, know it now.

 

(6) Don't ever worry about not having love in your life. When you feel hopeless and alone, know that a young woman you don't know is going to write this about love: "So many people are standing in the river, dying of thirst." Love is literally everywhere, at all times - just reach out for it.

 

(7) Don't worry about not having enough money - just redefine "enough."

 

(8) If you want a woman to stay with you, make her feel safe, loved, and cherished - the rest is just details.

 

(9) Always look in the rearview mirror when you're slowing down to turn left on a country road.

 

(10) Don't worry about band politics, just be the best damn whatever player you can possibly be.

 

(11) Remember that no matter who you think you are, what you think you have, how you think you're respected and loved, you can lose ALL of it in a single second. Live your life accordingly.

 

(12) Say a little prayer of thanks and apology every night before falling asleep. Whether there's a God or not, you'll be better off for it.

 

(13) Nothing will make you feel at peace with yourself and life as a good woman's face on your chest as you fall asleep at night.

 

(14) If you're a pharmacist or a genetic engineer, know that changing "x" from 0 to 1 in line 4795729 of the genetic code might get you want you wanted, but there will be hell to pay for your arrogance in line 74924975.

 

Terry D.

[Stan31]

Realize that you can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. You just need to start going after it. NOW.

[UstadKhanAli]

Well, I can't be an astronaut.

[Lee Knight]

 

I have regrets. They've been decisions that changed my life that I regret. I learned my lesson from these things. And I still regret those earlier decisions. I mean, I've accepted them. It's not like I have my panties in a bunch over these mistakes. I've learned my lesson. But I still regret doing them.

 

 

This is true. You seem to me to be a wise one. But I've met many people who look at the past like it somehow dictates the future as opposed to informing the future.

 

So, while I suspect you understand that, many don't.

[Ernest Buckley]

 

I disagree. I made mistakes and bad decisions, but those things helped me to become the person I am today. Those things helped me grow. There's no guarantee that alternate decisions I made wouldn't have led to even worse circumstances. I've led a great life so far. Who's to say that some of the bad choices I made didn't have their own role in allowing me to mature and be better in the long run? So, I'll say it, and I'm not lying: I have no regrets. I'm very, very happy with how things have turned out so far. Call it whatever you want, but I wouldn't change a damn thing. Even the bad things.

 

 

OK, I`ve led a pretty good life too and I`m very happy with certain aspects of it and other aspects, well, I`m working on them to make them better.

 

However, I still regret certain decisions, even though I may have learned from them.

[Ernest Buckley]

 

I'd tell my younger self: (1) Never touch a woman without love in it. (2) When you start a relationship, make this promise to yourself and keep it: "I promise to enjoy this for what it is, for as long as it is, and, when it's over, to remember it for what it was, not for how it ended." (3) Make this the cardinal rule of your life regarding other people: "Never get between someone and what they need to experience/learn in life, and never let anyone do that to you either." (4) Spend countless hours on introspection and reflection, but not one single minute on regret. (5) A woman you'll meet much later in your life will tell you, "In life, as in nature, there are no punishments or rewards, only consequences." Don't wait for her to tell you that, know it now. (6) Don't ever worry about not having love in your life. When you feel hopeless and alone, know that a young woman you don't know is going to write this about love: "So many people are standing in the river, dying of thirst." Love is literally everywhere, at all times - just reach out for it. (7) Don't worry about not having enough money - just redefine "enough." (8) If you want a woman to stay with you, make her feel safe, loved, and cherished - the rest is just details. (9) Always look in the rearview mirror when you're slowing down to turn left on a country road. (10) Don't worry about band politics, just be the best damn whatever player you can possibly be. (11) Remember that no matter who you think you are, what you think you have, how you think you're respected and loved, you can lose ALL of it in a single second. Live your life accordingly. (12) Say a little prayer of thanks and apology every night before falling asleep. Whether there's a God or not, you'll be better off for it. (13) Nothing will make you feel at peace with yourself and life as a good woman's face on your chest as you fall asleep at night. (14) If you're a pharmacist or a genetic engineer, know that changing "x" from 0 to 1 in line 4795729 of the genetic code might get you want you wanted, but there will be hell to pay for your arrogance in line 74924975. Terry D.

 

 

Good post Terry. Really enjoyed it and I think #1 is probably the most important. Just put love into everything you say and do.

[Ernest Buckley]

 

Realize that you can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. You just need to start going after it. NOW.

 

 

You`ve been listening to too much Tony Robbins. Say you wanted to be the next Michael Jordan but you`re 40, 5 feet tall and weight close to 800 lbs.... its not happening. :poke:

[Kendrix]

On a lighter note...

 

Ignore your parents when they don't allow you to go to the final Fillmore East show cause it's on a school night.

 

That's my one regret. I'll survive.

[Lee Flier]

 

This is true. You seem to me to be a wise one. But I've met many people who look at the past like it somehow dictates the future as opposed to informing the future. So, while I suspect you understand that, many don't.

 

 

Very true. I think the knowledge that you can always re-invent yourself is really key to having few regrets. I've never really had the feeling that anything I did in the past is stopping me from doing what I want to do in the present or future. But a lot of people feel otherwise, I've noticed.

[Ernest Buckley]

 

Very true. I think the knowledge that you can always re-invent yourself is really key to having few regrets. I've never really had the feeling that anything I did in the past is stopping me from doing what I want to do in the present or future. But a lot of people feel otherwise, I've noticed.

 

 

"The past does not equal the future."

-Tony Robbins

 

I agree with you Lee to an extent but depending on the field you work in (and company), there are glass ceilings and unfortunately sometimes a word was spoken or a deed done or even undone that considerably affects ones future. If you are self-employed, this may not be the case but for the majority of people, they depend on others to move their careers along. I`m just getting a little specific with this post and just wanted to give an example. Sometimes in our youth, we are bit free with the tongue and let thoughts fly... those things can come back to haunt one. Look at politics... lobbyists (and even media) go back as far as they can to find any kind of dirt on someone.

[Mark L]

Well anyway, since I started this thread I suppose I'd better contribute to it

 

1. Concentrate at school - stop trying to be the class-clown

2. Become the best musician you can

3. Don't push people away - not everyone wants to take advantage of you

4. If someone offers you a chance to collaborate musically, say 'yes'. Otherwise you'll end up as a musical loner

5. Don't have such a downer on yourself

6. Don't try suicide, nobody's worth it

7. Drinking is not an escape - it just postpones the inevitable

8. Life is good - embrace it

[nat whilk II]

 

Very true. I think the knowledge that you can always re-invent yourself is really key to having few regrets. I've never really had the feeling that anything I did in the past is stopping me from doing what I want to do in the present or future. But a lot of people feel otherwise, I've noticed.

 

 

How much can people change through self-effort? Difficult topic to think about objectively - we have so very much invested in the belief that we can change, alter our destinies, break old molds, find brave new worlds, etc...

 

I do think our individual human natures are better described metaphorically as something like growing trees than something like blank sheets upon which anything can be drawn. Seems to me we can (in metaphor here) tend our "trees" in various ways through choices - trim this, encourage that, and so on - but we can't remove the old growth rings and basic patterns already laid down except by drastic measures that involve damage.

 

Easier, too, to shape and form a young tree than an old, that's for sure. But there's always a need for pruning and encouraging new growth in the right directions at any age. But roots are roots, and you can't bend a trunk after a few years of growth.

 

and so on and so forth...

 

nat whilk ii

[Hard Truth]

Despite having many regrets, I am in a great place in life right now (and for the last 14 years) (knock on wood). Without the many mistakes I have made I might be richer, more famous, more popular and more accomplished. Or not. But I have no idea whether I would be or could be happier. I certainly would not trade my girlfriend/POSSLQ for fame, money etc.

[UstadKhanAli]

This is true. You seem to me to be a wise one. But I've met many people who look at the past like it somehow dictates the future as opposed to informing the future. So, while I suspect you understand that, many don't.

 

I try not to be a complete dummy!

 

You are right, you cannot keep blaming the past and allowing it to rule your life. You basically acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and apply that toward the future, moving on.

[UstadKhanAli]

 

Very true. I think the knowledge that you can always re-invent yourself is really key to having few regrets. I've never really had the feeling that anything I did in the past is stopping me from doing what I want to do in the present or future. But a lot of people feel otherwise, I've noticed.

 

 

 

That's a really hard thing to change. While of course it is possible to change many aspects about you, we tend to become less mentally "pliable" as we get older. But still, I see some people doing it, trying new things, learning new things, changing aspects about themselves they dislike and embracing what they do like about themselves, and keeping themselves fresh. I see people doing it, so I know it can be done. But it's not easy. It necessitates a great awareness. It requires self-reflection. The ability to look at yourself and objectively as possible and create the changes you want. But sometimes, that's painful. Sometimes, it feels really awkward. Sometimes, it's really humbling.

 

But often, it can lead to a much better, happier, more satisfying life.

[Taylor Davis]

Being fifty one years olde is something I never really thought of.

Right now I'm homeless, jobless, and penniless.

I would have tolde my younger self to holde on to your two 60's era strats and that mint shergolde masquerader .

Don't sell the music man amp and cabs.

Keep that deluxe twin.

keep track of those first sixty songs in a shoe box.

Keep that double stamped penny you found when you were nine and don't trade it for a shiney nickel.

Dont' sell your kazuo yairis.

Never ever cuss your boss out and walk off that job.

Talk and visit with your mom more.

Never rehash an olde flame.