Members zesty brick Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 will the defendant please rise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members poorboy Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 Why do muscians keep drum sticks on the dash board of their cars? So they can park in handycapped spots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zesty brick Posted December 27, 2006 Author Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 i got another one, what is the difference between a bass player and a pizza, a pizza can feed a family of four Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zesty brick Posted December 27, 2006 Author Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 what do you call a bass player without a girlfriend, homeless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zesty brick Posted December 27, 2006 Author Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 why did the bass player cross the road, cause he heard the chicken was a slut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anesthesia Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 How is a guitarist different to a trampoline?You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None- the Keyboardist does it with his left hand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dragon9666 Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 I thought the joke was a black guy in a 3-piece suit?Get it right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FreestyleIntruder Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 What do you throw to a drowning bassist? His amp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 2manband Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 What's the difference between a chicken crossing the road and a guitar player crossing the road? The chicken might be on his way to a gig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrmatt64 Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 How many gtr. players does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10 - one to screw in the lightbulb and 9 to tell him he's doing it wrong. MC P.S. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2 But how the hell did they get in there? o.k. back to work............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thelurker Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 Originally posted by mrmatt64 How many gtr. players does it take to screw in a light bulb? I heard this as "50. One to do it, and 49 others to stand around saying "I do it better than that. Faster, too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members takeout Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the beat into the machine once. What does a stripper do with her asshole before work? Buys him some new sticks and drops him off at practice. How do you know when a drummer's at the door? The knocking keeps speeding up. How do you know when a singer's at the door? He doesn't know when to come in no matter how many times you tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nicebigstrings Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 How can you tell a drummer has got his kit and stool set up on a level stage? Drool runs out both sides of his mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ivanthetrble Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 How do you make a guitarist be quiet? Put sheet music in front of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrmatt64 Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 Originally posted by thelurker I heard this as "50. One to do it, and 49 others to stand around saying "I do it better than that. Faster, too." You're right Lurker-much funnier. Damn gtr. players......Mr. Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members llllllllllllllllllllllll Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 Originally posted by dragon9666 I thought the joke was a black guy in a 3-piece suit? Get it right! that's real cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators ThudMaker Posted December 27, 2006 Moderators Share Posted December 27, 2006 Q. How does a lead guitarist change a lightbulb ? A. He holds it up and the world revolves around him. I asked my drummer to spell "Mississippi"... He said, "the river or the state?" I know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor. Overheard at a club . . . . ."Wow, the musicians in that band are really good. The drummer's not too bad either." And one for us . . . . . . Q. Why don't bass players ever catch a cold? A. Even a virus has some pride Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators isaac42 Posted December 27, 2006 Moderators Share Posted December 27, 2006 Originally posted by dragon9666 I thought the joke was a black guy in a 3-piece suit? Get it right! All black guys are bass players.Sheesh. Don't you watch South Park? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bonscottvocals Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 What has 3 legs and an asshole on top? The drummer's throne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thumper Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 What do you call an accordionist with a pager? An optimist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DevilRaysFan Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 A guy steps off a plane in Africa. Here hears drums play in the distance. He asks the pilot, "Hey, pilot, whats the deal with these drums?" The pilot says, "Drums play, very good--- Drums stop, very very bad" The guy gets into a Taxi and heads toward a nearby village. The drums are closer now. The guy asks the taxi-driver, "Hey, taxi-driver, whats the deal with these drums?" The taxi driver says, "Drums play, very good--- Drums stop, very very bad. Very bad indeed" The guy gets to the village and meets the chief. The drums are real close now. The guy asks the chief, "Hey, village chief, whats the deal with these drums? Theyve been playing since I got here!" The village chief says, "Drums play, very good--- Drums stop, very very bad. Very Very Bad!" Right then the drums stop! People are running and screaming - elephants, girraffes, and animals are running in terror. The guy yells to the chief "Oh my God, the drums stopped! Whats going on?" The chief covers his eyes with his hands and says "Drums stop! Very bad! Very Bad----------- Bass solo!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RockBass Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 "what do you call a bass player in a 3-piece suit?" I was going to say "dead". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 A couple who is not speaking to each other is ordered by a judge to go to marriage counseling. The marriage counselor takes them to a little jazz club, where they just sit at the table fuming at each other for the better part of an hour. But by the end of the band's set, they're talking to each other and straightening things out. A colleague asks the marriage counselor how he did it, and he says "I've never met a couple yet who could resist talking over the bass solo." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members way2fat Posted December 27, 2006 Members Share Posted December 27, 2006 Don't tell my mom I'm a bass player, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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