Members allan grossman Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Wow. Just wow. The reality is that something was said and she got hurt. Perhaps I am not making myself clear. We all agree that he should apologize for her being hurt, the only difference is that I say that its o.k. for him to acknowledge the words came out of his mouth. He is not to sacrifice his reality to conform to her perception. Because the reality is. like it or not, the words came out of his mouth. I really don't think we're too far off on this. I agree with everything you just said, but would offer that the reality is also that the words were unintentional and we're coming up on day three of hubby's punishment. That's dysfunctional in itself, brotherbass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brotherbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Agreed. Husbands, love your wives, treating them as you would your own bodies. Wives, respect your husbands. (to paraphrase a popular book ) How will she respect him if he allows himself to get pushed around like this? IME, when we have an issue, we talk it out like adults. No one gets "punished" or made to feel inferior. I can admit whenI make a mistake, which I do often, which means when I take a stand on something, my wife respects that and tries to see my point of view. Letting this go one for 2 days is about 47 hours too long, even given the fact there was already an arguement that night. Nice quote. The first part was never meant for wives and the second was never meant for husbands. Paul is telling the husband to love your wife and treat her with care and respect. The wife is to respect her husband regardless of weather he deserves it or not. My wife and I (married 15 years 05/92) have been on both sides of the fence and believe me, when I value her feelings more than my being right she respects me more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brotherbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 By the way, let me say to all that it is very cool that everyone has an opinion on this issue and are willing to offer advice. We are our brothers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators ThudMaker Posted July 18, 2007 Moderators Share Posted July 18, 2007 Nice quote. The first part was never meant for wives and the second was never meant for husbands. Paul is telling the husband to love your wife and treat her with care and respect. The wife is to respect her husband regardless of weather he deserves it or not. My wife and I (married 15 years 05/92) have been on both sides of the fence and believe me, when I value her feelings more than my being right she respects me more.That's your own interpretation of Paul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ender_rpm Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 If it works for ya'll, great, but you seem like a reasonably well adjusted, mature individual who thinks before they act. In the case before us, I do not believe that can be assumed of the actors. Likewise, your marriage (and mine to a certain extent) share a "manual" that perhaps others, and likely this one, do not. We submit to God out of love, and use that submission to model our marriages on. But it goes both ways, each submitting to the other out of love. We can go golden rule on it if we like, but I think there would probably be deeper issues of self esteem and father relationships that would need to be examined to find the root of this over reaction. I guess we'll just agree to disagree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Kindness Posted July 18, 2007 Moderators Share Posted July 18, 2007 He is not to sacrifice his reality to conform to her perception. Because the reality is. like it or not, the words came out of his mouth. No one has said otherwise. The reality for every single person that has given input on this thread is also that he did nothing wrong, even you say so in your quote above. The conflict is most of us say he shouldn't pretend he did something wrong (which is dishonest and manipulative) and you say he should. You say he should take ownership of being wrong even when you acknowledge he isn't wrong. You are advocating he lie to himself and to his wife in order to smooth over a bumpy period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Admitting that he made a mistake and she got hurt will carry him further than taking a stand That's what I take issue with. Calling it a mistake is suggesting he say he was at fault and he wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 By the way, let me say to all that it is very cool that everyone has an opinion on this issue and are willing to offer advice. We are our brothers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted July 18, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 CHILDREN!!! Calm the f*ck down! Ok...I'm back and I'm still alive! Lunch went very well. She is still hurt, but she was smiling and happy. We talked to the whole time about other things, as to not bring up a sore subject. She thanked me for lunch and I finally got a kiss after 2 days! So, things are going to be fine. I'm happy again. Thanks everybody for your help. MrsSvi - I appreciate your input over a lot because I think you have a better understanding about what she is thinking. It brings some insight for me...even though I understand her pretty well anyways. Things can always be learned. Some funny stuff in here too. Thanks! Good work team. And...enough with the Christian BS. Not everybody wants to hear about it. Some find it offensive. I personally don't care what your religion is. People are allowed to believe in whatever they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Glad it went well. Now...back to the debate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members allan grossman Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Instigator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brotherbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Glad it went well. Now...back to the debate! I'm done as all is well. No Christian B.S. here, just repling to posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted July 18, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 No Christian B.S. here, just repling to posts. I'm not pointing any fingers!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Svi Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Thanks everybody for your help. MrsSvi - I appreciate your input over a lot because I think you have a better understanding about what she is thinking. It brings some insight for me...even though I understand her pretty well anyways. Things can always be learned. Anytime. I'm glad things will work out. And you got a kiss. It just took some time. I'm very happy for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members skatalite Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 I'm not pointing any fingers!!! I am! Oh, great image to use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JacieFB Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Almost time for make-up sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ender_rpm Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Sorry if I stepped on your toes bro, just trying to speak a language Brotherbass and I could both understand. Glad all is well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ryry215 Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 She won. Expect more of the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mudbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 You just had a fight and now you call your wife by your ex's name. You have officially become her bitch for at least two weeks. In the meantime keep saying sorry. Two weeks? You kidding me? Women are born with a memory that dates back to Eve when it comes to stuff like this. She'll be beating him over the head with this little incident from now till eternity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 Eve he said cut the Christian BS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brotherbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 he said cut the Christian BS. I was wondering if anyone else would catch that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mudbass Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 he said cut the Christian BS. Adam & Eve are Old Testament so it's Jewish BS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted July 18, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 It's religious BS...it's all the same. This is the longest thread I have ever started! Sad that it's about my personal life though. I don't like to air my dirty laundry in public...but I needed advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ryry215 Posted July 18, 2007 Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 I wondered when the "screw you guys for talking bad about my wife" post was going to come up. I kinda figured when they made up it would head in that direction:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted July 18, 2007 Author Members Share Posted July 18, 2007 I wondered when the "screw you guys for talking bad about my wife" post was going to come up. I kinda figured when they made up it would head in that direction:) No no no...I'm not taking anything personal. I started the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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