Members Zamfir Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 No love for my man Apu? "I'm sorry, baby. While I'm here pleasuring you, my store is going down the tubes." "Homer, you are asleep at your post! Now go change the expiration date on the dairy products." on Homer: "He slept, he lied, he stole, he was rude to the customers...but he was the best damn employee a convenient store ever had!' "Please do not offer my god a peanut." (during the Springfield have vs. have-not secession): "I'm sorry, but I have to charge you foreign devils more." "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!" And: Smithers: "Sir? I love you, sir." M. Burns: "Thank you, Smithers, for making my last few minutes on Earth socially awkward." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rowka Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 I'm a unitard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members y-o-y Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 From episode "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"...when Mr. Burns sells the power plant to Germans [voice over the PA at the power plant]:Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chunky-b Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 "Not an animal alive can outrun a greased Scotsman!" - Groundskeeper Willie------"Like Thai?" "Tie good, Like shirt?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Renfield Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Superintendant Chalmers: "Praise the lord? PRAISE the lord? God has no place in these walls just like fact has no place in organized religion." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BottomHeavyKate Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 mmmmm.....pistol whip..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members T. Alan Smith Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 mmmmm.....pistol whip..... Just saw that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jackcheez Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Barney: Hi, I'm Barney and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: But this is a girl scout meeting. Barney: Oh. Or is it you girls can't admit you have a problem ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Super Bass Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Elvis Costello: Come on. Who'd like to be a bass player? Homer: Out of my way, Nerdlinger. grabs guitar and knocks off Elvis' glasses Elvis Costello: My image! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Super_Donut_Man Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip Marge I'm not going to lie to you." *walks out the door* My sig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMS Author Craig Vecchione Posted March 27, 2008 CMS Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Homer: You kids don't know Grand Funk? The wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Shocker? The competent drum-work of Don Brewer?Bart: Dad, please. You're embarassing us. Homer: No I'm not. I'm teaching you about rock music. Now Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane, which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons Project, which I believe was some sort of hovercraft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMS Author Craig Vecchione Posted March 27, 2008 CMS Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Homer (slapping people as he cuts in line): "Challenge you to a duel, challenge you to a duel....." Texan: "Ah accept your challenge!" Homer: "D'oh!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassthumpintwin Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassthumpintwin Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!Marge: HOMER!Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zon5string Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members L. Ron Hoover Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's "Up Late with McBain". I'm your announcer, Corporal Obergruppenfuehrer Wolfcastle. And heeere's McBain! McBain: Ja, thank you, ja, that's nice. Let's say hello to my music guy, Skoey. [skoey bows] That is some outfit, Skoey. It makes you look like a homosexual. [Audience boos] Whoa, maybe you all are homosexuals also! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members L. Ron Hoover Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Agent: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practise a bit, hmm? When I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."Homer: Check.Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.Homer: [stares blankly]Agent: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.Homer: I gotcha.Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.Homer: [stares blankly] [A long time later]Agent: [sighs in frustration] Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.Homer: No problem.Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [stomps on Homer's foot a few times]Homer: [stares blankly] [to other agent] I think he's talking to _you_. So many funny quotes.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members venturawest Posted March 27, 2008 Author Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 I have to point out at this juncture that the band I played in when I lived in Pittsburgh was called, in fact, "Hello Mr. Thompson". based on that incident above! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members coyote-1 Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 OK.... "The Simpsons suck." - coyote-1 i'll start: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Homer: I'm onto you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roswellian Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Milhouse as Fallout Boy - complaining to Bart"I've said jimminy jillikers so many times the words have lost all meaning." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BoundandBlocked Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Milhouse as Fallout Boy - complaining to Bart"I've said jimminy jillikers so many times the words have lost all meaning." My eyes! The goggles do nothing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LanEvo Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 These are from one of my fav episodes called "Lisa the Vegetarian" from 1995: Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you! You barbeque-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all! Lisa: While I was gone I got some really good advice from Paul and Linda McCartney.Homer: Rock stars. Is there anything they don't know? Homer: Look kids! I just got my party invitiations back from the printers.Lisa: [reading the invitation] "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."Bart: What's that extra B for?Homer: It's a typo. Principal Skinner: Uh oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.Groundskeeper Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself.Lots of great quotes in that episode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Psilocybin Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 I swear there was some episode where Homer kissed an old man on the top of his head and then said "Its like licking a peanut." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Renfield Posted March 27, 2008 Members Share Posted March 27, 2008 Bonjourno, you cheese eating surrender monkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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