Members B-Bottom Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 First there was Joel the Basher. Joel gave us all the catch phrase "Death to False Metal". Epic doesn't even describe the banter that he and I have shared over the years. Then there were the several freaks whom I used to work with. There was the guy who ate pizza everyday and wore tube socks on his arms....The woman with the gigantic thing growing on her hand. The big woman behind me who didn't know how to use a computer and would always heat fish up in the microwave at lunch time, stinking up the entire building. Not to mention the temp (whom was never identified) that would defecate a foot away from the toilet in the woman's stall every year around tax season. Recently there was the sound guy at my bands first show. A douche bag like no other. You can read all about him here http://acapella.harmony-central.com/showthread.php?t=2363614 Well I am happy to say that someone new has joined the ranks. Folks it is my great pleasure to introduce you to ROB!!!! http://www.myspace.com/burningbridges1969 As you can by the picture, my friend Rob here is a real lady killer. Why with that high top fade, phat kicks,Kirk Hammet ESP and Billy Idol sneer, he gets more ass than a public toilet seat. But those attributes aren't the only thing that make Rob such a cool cat. You see he also like to email people at 3:30 in the morning just to tell them how badly they suck. Now I have had one brief phone conversation with Rob about 2 years ago. He had placed an ad for a bass player in a local magazine. The ad was for someone who was interested in playing bass in an old school rap band. Well after talking to him on the phone, and seeing his picture. I decided that his idea of old school rap and mine were very different. You see my fellow HCBF members I don't find Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit to be in the same ranks as Run DMC, but hey maybe I'm crazy like that. Anywho now let me get to the reason for this post..... I had placed an ad earlier on the local craigslist saying that my band 1000 Earth Years is available for shows. So I decided to check the bands email a few hours later to see if I had any responses. Well sure as {censored} I did!!! 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Monday, July 6, 2009 12:43 AM From: "Rob" Add sender to Contacts To: onethousandearthyears@yahoo.com OMG, you guys suck!! That was odd....I thought to myself. Who is this Rob and why does he think we suck. I quickly looked up his email address on myspace. I like to put a face on my critics.... After seeing him and realizing who it was I set a reply From: Joe Schmoe To: Rob Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 2:22 AM Subject: Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Thanks for that well thought out critique!! By the way nice picture..... http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=364028752&albumID=15799&imageID=43742 Short and sweet. Well then I get a response From: Rob Subject: Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) To: "Joe Schmoe" Date: Monday, July 6, 2009, 6:30 AM Thanks, yes you wish you had a guitarist like me you {censored}s!! Now obviously the guy is mentally challenged. But why so much anger. My inquisitive mind had to know..... From: Joe Schmoe To: Rob Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 3:46 AM Subject: Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) sheesh why so much anger for people that you don't even know? His response.... Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Monday, July 6, 2009 7:48 AM From: "Rob" Add sender to Contacts To: "Joe Schmoe" no your band really does suck....just take it and move on and try to improve...i think guitar center is hiring....lololol Say wut?? From: Joe Schmoe To: Rob Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 3:52 AM Subject: Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) what does my band "sucking" have to do with working at guitar center? Also you never answered my question about all this anger that you have towards people that you don't know. I'm very curious Now a very interesting thing came along with this next response. He changed his name from Rob to Steve, yet the email address remained the same. I'm not sure if he was trying to throw me off or what. But either way it added to the fun!!! Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Monday, July 6, 2009 7:54 AM From: "Steve" Add sender to Contacts To: "Joe Schmoe" Because people that don't know how to play work at guitar center...anger, I'm not angry...I'm amused at bands like you who play at Gullifty's...that place is a joke and your music is awful, which goes to show anyone can play at Gullifty's...are you guys serious? Ok now I am really starting to like this guy..... From: Joe Schmoe To: Steve Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 4:07 AM Subject: Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Is your name Steve or Rob? because when I spoke to you on the phone about putting together a sort of rap band it was Rob.. Unless Steve is you're stage name. like Steve-n-Play. I still don't understand why we would work at guitar center if our skills at playing were sub par... I mean we all have jobs, so why would we want to work somewhere that will make our playing skills even poopier? Or is the proper term "more poopie"? Hmmmm I mean that's like saying that you, Rob (Steve) should work at Kmart selling slush puppies because you have terrible hair.....you see it makes no sense?!? Guilifys is a fine establishment to play. I mean, sure it's not Madison Square Garden and it usually doesn't get a packed house like Steve-N-Play is used to, but we dig it. Plus we are playing for a very worthy cause so I don't understand how you could have a problem with that?? Steve-N-PLAY....now come on that's comedy!!! Let's take another look at that guys hair Of course Steve/Rob sent me a response. This time though he responded with a new name...still the same email address though. Now he is simply R Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Monday, July 6, 2009 8:10 AM From: "R" Add sender to Contacts To: "Joe Schmoe" Dude, you are sensitive....go to guitar center and take some lessons....then join a band that knows how to play...it will be better for the central PA area...thanks! He really seems to have a hard on for Guitar Center. Me thinks someone wants to work there but because the bus route doesn't run past it, and his mom can't drive in the dark, he has to work at the local BK instead. Here is my response Flag this message Re: 1000 Earth Years is available for Shows (harrisburg) Monday, July 6, 2009 8:16 AM From: "Joe Schmoe" Add sender to Contacts To: "R" now your name is simply R??? I'm wondering if the next email that I get from you will simply have a symbol for a name (ala Prince) I'm pretty sure that Guitar Center doesn't give lessons. I would think that someone that knows so much about the type of people working there would at least know that. And even if they did....WHY WOULD I TAKE LESSONS THERE??? You stated yourself that the people who worked there "don't know how to play". I don't think that I'm being the least bit sensitive. I am simply intrigued why someone would email a band that they don't know just to try to insult them. It's very fascinating to me. Talk to you soon!!! Now that was the last communication that we had with one another tonight but I have a good feeling that he'll be back in my life soon enough. And when he is I'll be sure to let everyone know. I did send him a friend request through myspace to let us know if he needs an opener and to keep on rockin'!!! Rob you are now a fixture in B-Bottom's gallery of rouges!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeonVomit Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 The most epic of epic posts I've seen here recently. It has been hell trying to keep my fits of laughter from disturbing the others in the office, and at one point I needed to leave the room to recover. Well done, sir. no your band really does suck....just take it and move on and try to improve...i think guitar center is hiring....lololol Seriously, do you just attract psychos? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members misterhinkydink Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Welcome, Rob/Steve/R!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BoundandBlocked Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members burdizzos Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Holy {censored}! I can't begin to understand how you attract these {censored}ing losers. Is Central PA that full of inbred douchebags? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members faileddrummer Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 The most epic of epic posts I've seen here recently. It has been hell trying to keep my fits of laughter from disturbing the others in the office, and at one point I needed to leave the room to recover. Well done, sir. +1. {censored}ing epic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Come on now....he has to be good! I mean, look! He has a POD XT Live! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hi.flyer Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Ha, awesome. I'm kinda confused tho, I mean, maybe the pic is not of him? He says 'you wish you could have a guitarIST like mine' or whatever. I suppose it could just be general computer dumbassery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members t3ch Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldivor Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Holy {censored}! I can't begin to understand how you attract these {censored}ing losers. Is Central PA that full of inbred douchebags? +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members y-o-y Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Rob/Steve/R is exactly what I expect a guitarist from Central PA who wants to start an Old School rap project to look and act like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators ThudMaker Posted July 6, 2009 Moderators Share Posted July 6, 2009 Come on now....he has to be good! I mean, look! He has a POD XT Live!Good call. It's a primary indicator that he's the next Satch for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members faileddrummer Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Rob/Steve/R is exactly what I expect a guitarist from Central PA who wants to start an Old School rap project to look and act like. Hey man! Vanilla Ice is still cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bryan316 Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Should we email-bomb Mr. Rob and see what kind of responses we get? We could flood the {censored} out of his account with scat porn.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ender_rpm Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Wow, H-'burg FTW!~!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 2manband Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Excellent thread. Would read again. Yes, sadly the Harrisburg area music scene is a giant ball of suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hi.flyer Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 That doesn't seem like the kind of guitar an old-school rap guy would play. ...I mean, I don't know what kind of guitar WOULD fit, but certainly not a pointy shred machine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lug Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 First there was Joel the Basher. anyone else thinking "brotha from anotha motha"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeonVomit Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Holy crap! I've just realised what an eerie resemblance that guy has with our former drummer (the guy on the left): Here's another one Seperated at birth? The Vri (as we call him) is a dear friend to all of us and, to put it in the nicest possible way, has some (very mild) special needs. However, he's generous, loves metal, and is great fun to hang out with. Maybe this guy is special as well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldivor Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Should we email-bomb Mr. Rob and see what kind of responses we get? We could flood the {censored} out of his account with scat porn.... So you have that much scat on your comp? Mind sharing some? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sonic1 Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 wow...wtf...wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Bottom Posted July 6, 2009 Author Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Excellent thread. Would read again.Yes, sadly the Harrisburg area music scene is a giant ball of suck. Since putting this band together I've come across a few and I mean a few other bands who are willing to help each other out. But for the most part people really don't want to help one another out. Most band people seem to have a gigantic chip on there shoulder. I just don't get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thumper Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members s4001 Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Your town must be more fun and surreal than a 24hr feed of Nick At Night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeonVomit Posted July 6, 2009 Members Share Posted July 6, 2009 Your town must be more fun and surreal than a 24hr feed of Nick At Night. Either that, or B-Bottom just knows how to bring all the headcases to him. Someone should make a sitcom of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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