Members azmyth Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 I guess I could be considered controlling. I write guitar parts, I write bass parts, and I write drum parts. But, I'm also pretty decent at doing all of those things. And, when those people AREN'T doing it themselves.. well somebody has to right? I also handle the myspace, and most of the promotions and bookings. Not because I want to, but because I am the only with connections to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members craigSMOOT Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 Hey Craig Smoot? You the Brother Cane fiend? Signed, Fellow BC Fiend. That would be me, yes. Who's asking? . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ctoddrun Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 That would be me, yes. Who's asking? . . . Ah, you dont know me. I've been into BC for so long that I can remember your tabs from way back. I learned quite a few songs thanks to you. Damon is still one of my hero's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members faileddrummer Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 I guess I could be considered controlling. I write guitar parts, I write bass parts, and I write drum parts. But, I'm also pretty decent at doing all of those things. And, when those people AREN'T doing it themselves.. well somebody has to right? I also handle the myspace, and most of the promotions and bookings. Not because I want to, but because I am the only with connections to do so. As long as everyone's cool with it, it's whatever. It's when the RoCkBaNd!!!!11!!! lolz! drummers start writing my lines, demanding I play them that it becomes a slap in the face. ESPECIALLY, after demanding we learn some covers, you stop mid song to tell me I'm playing the song wrong... because, and I quote, "There's no bass drum in this song." It was "Party Enema" by NoFX . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiteop Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 think we've all been there at one time or another. Seems like the ones I've been around that were the worst were the guys with drug addictions which just compound the problem because their self-perception and restraint is skewed. I'd talk to him once about it and see if he changes. If he doesn't, I'd get out and start elsewhere. Band breakups are like divorces. Never fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rocket888 Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 I guess I could be considered controlling.I write guitar parts, I write bass parts, and I write drum parts.But, I'm also pretty decent at doing all of those things. And, when those people AREN'T doing it themselves.. well somebody has to right?I also handle the myspace, and most of the promotions and bookings. Not because I want to, but because I am the only with connections to do so. That is not necessarily controlling. Controlling is an attitude more than anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members craigSMOOT Posted July 8, 2009 Members Share Posted July 8, 2009 Ah, you dont know me. I've been into BC for so long that I can remember your tabs from way back. I learned quite a few songs thanks to you. Damon is still one of my hero's. PM'd. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kotch Posted July 9, 2009 Members Share Posted July 9, 2009 Heh. I think I played with this guy's twin brother. For about a year. And when I say played, I mean that in the loosest possible way, because he had no intention of letting anyone do anything but quietly strum chords along in the background while he took the lead. It was actually supposed to be a jam night, where a bunch of us could get together once a month or so and just have fun playing music. That worked fine the first night. But from then on, this guy started in with the snarky comments. And somehow only the songs he wanted to play ended up on the playlist. If anyone ignored that and took their turn anyway, he'd always be there afterwards with a "constructive comment", which always started with, "That was fine but..." If anyone else suggested a song, he would say, "I don't know it," or "I don't play it," and that would be that. So he managed to drive away just about everyone but four of us. At that point he said, "Forget the jam thing, we ought to form a band rehearse some songs and go gigging." Well, we agreed with that. Why not? It's more purposeful than just sitting around jamming. Okay, so we need to have a set list. "Oh," he said, "That's fine. I know hundreds of songs." And he wasn't lying, he did. All of a sudden this guy, who had been fond of giving lectures to casual players about having to play the song right or sit it out, couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted on a set list. Every week we'd go along and end up playing a completely different bunch of songs. You know, I would have been absolutely fine with all the crap, if the guy had actually known what he was doing and had some specific goal in mind. I agree entirely that someone's got to step up to the plate and take charge when things start to go off the rails. But this guy? Nup. It was never going to happen. He was into seventies ballads -- The Eagles, the Beegees, that sort of stuff -- and he'd play them one after the other, same tempo, same chord sequences. No one else was into that stuff, but we'd end up playing it anyway. You'd say, "We need to mix it up a bit and put some up-tempo songs in there, or perhaps something a bit more contemporary." And he'd agree. But by the next week he'd "forget" and we'd be back to the Eagles again. In the end, the drummer quit, because this guy just didn't know how to play with live drums. He'd insist that the drummer had to follow him, then pull stuff like adding an extra beat, or cutting a bar short without warning. I just quit in the end. I played with this guy for a year and it went nowhere. Immediately after that, I got into a real band. We put together a setlist and played our first gig inside of two months. I like to think I'm a pretty tolerant person. I'll put up with a lot of crap, because none of us is so perfect we've never pissed anyone off ever. But damn, that control freak stuff can really kill the vibe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members callous Posted July 9, 2009 Members Share Posted July 9, 2009 Latest nitpick is he wants me to strum the guitar ba da da ba, ba da da ba instead of ba da da da, ba da da da. I don't want to hijack the thread, I just suggest that you consider some of his advice. Even if the guy is a dick, he might have some good ideas. This might be one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Citizen_Insane Posted July 9, 2009 Members Share Posted July 9, 2009 I'd say that the song writer / rhythm guitarist one of my bands is pretty controlling, but I just accept it since #1) he's a good friend and #2) they're his songs. He writes all the music and lyrics and then pitches the song to the band, so I feel like he has the right dictate how the songs sound. Being a lead player it gets annoying to be told what to do, or being told to do stuff you think you're better than. Example: In one song during an instrumental part I simply play a muted stroke to add a percussive sound (we also have a drummer). It bothers me, because I feel like some guitar solo stuff could go in there, but that's not what he wants and I have to accept that. That being said, I don't really know how you deal with that in a covers band. Since the songs are already written and no band member can claim creative control, I can see how things could get messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thrashy Posted July 10, 2009 Members Share Posted July 10, 2009 I would not deal well personally with having an overly controlling band member, I have seen them and even been one in varying degrees over the years, but if you aren't playing the part right, that is a problem too. Is he right about the part? If you are playing it close it may not be as close as you think though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Libbymin Posted July 11, 2009 Members Share Posted July 11, 2009 I have the fortune of recently joining a band as a drummer where they said "learn the songs from the CD but don't feel afraid to play something different somewhere if you hear something cool or different that you could do". Which is nice, being able to bring my own voice to the band. As an example, we were playing a gig a couple of weeks ago and we were finishing up a song when our bassist randomly started the bassline of "billie jean". This was the same day MJ died so we just said "hey why not?" and did part of that song in there. The guy in my previous band would've flipped out if we did that. In a previous band, the guy was excited about this guitarist and me joining the group and claimed he wanted it to be a collaborative effort which sounded cool. Then we get into rehearsal and any time we try and branch out, he says "mmm, I liked it my way". Every time. That was disappointing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted July 11, 2009 Members Share Posted July 11, 2009 I thought there was someone like this in every band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted July 11, 2009 Members Share Posted July 11, 2009 Sounds to me like the OP has to decide whether he's dealing with a fundamental difference in approach - or simple case of an ass hat for a bandmate. Using myself as an example, let me say that I have little interest in playing "note for note" covers. It's important to me that my band captures the "spirit" of a cover tune. When I find myself in a situation where everybody else is focused on playing things "note for note" - I quickly and professionally bow out of the group. It ain't wrong, it ain't right ... it just ain't what I'm interested in doing. If it's an ass hat for a bandmate that's the issue - then the OP is playing a whole 'nother game that has nothing to do with the notes he's playing. At that point it's about influencing the bandmate to change - or deciding which one is going to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JimiRules Posted July 11, 2009 Members Share Posted July 11, 2009 Our former bass player could be awful controlling. He wanted to control everything. He wanted to be the one to book gigs, which is good to have one person be in charge of that sort of thing that way things are consistent, but our rhythm guitar player knows a guy that used to live in our town but moved to Chicago. Every few months he brings his band back to our town and plays at a local bar. He contacted our rhythm guitar player and asked if we would be interested in sharing the gig with them. When our rhythm guitar player brought it up in practice our bass player got all defensive. "I thought I was supposed to be booking gigs!" Our rhythm guitar player said, "You are, he just contacted me because he knows me. I told him that I'm not the one who does this for the band. I told him that I'd talk it over with the rest of the band, and if we're interested you'd get in touch with him. I have his number and email address here. He's expecting an email or phone call from you to iron out the details." Our bass player was like, "no you do it. I guess I'm just out of the loop on this one." He continued to sulk for the rest of the practice. Our band has a myspace. Myself, the rhythm guitar player, and the bass player kept it up, but the bass player would get upset if we made updates or changed anything. He put up the default picture when we first started it. It was a group picture of the 5 of us. It had been up for 6 months and I went in changed it to our logo. The very next day the rhythm guitar player and I both got emails saying, "Why is it that when I do something to the myspace site it always gets changed? Are my decisions not good enough?" He also had a bad habit of going in and taking everybody else's friends out of the "Top Friends" list and replacing them with only people that he knew. The thing that topped it all was the day I brought in a song that I had written. I played it and right after I was finished he told me that I played it wrong. I go, "I wrote it, how can it be wrong?" This went back and forth for a few minutes. Then he rolled his eyes and said, "oh, how I hate having to be the teacher." Then he picked up an acoustic guitar and started playing something entirely different. I just looked at him and said, "No thanks, this is how I like it." He sulked through the rest of the practice. Finally after coming to the conclusion that we continued way too long with the guy we cut him loose, and it's been pretty much drama free since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members twostone Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 Our singer can be a contol freak at times. He bitches the most and does the least. I have to ask myself sometimes why I put up with a 39 yr. old child like man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 He wants it perfect - many band leaders are like that. It's not unusual and if you follow his direction you'll probably sound pretty good.... Loosey goosey doesn't cut it....if you want that start your own band.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 He wants it perfect - many band leaders are like that. It's not unusual and if you follow his direction you'll probably sound pretty good.... Loosey goosey doesn't cut it....if you want that start your own band.... Yea and no. to really get it tight, it takes a solid drummer,, guys who have good rhythm skills and solid in key vocals and be willing to practice at a low enough volume to not over drive the practice pad. without all that stuff going for you ,,, tight will be pretty much out or reach ,, no matter how big a fit a singer thows. Its teamwork and basic skill sets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chevybusa Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 LOL I'll never forget a playing with a drummer once who got up from behind his kit to set my distortion pedal...talk about controlling!!! LOL Needless to say I didn't stick around.....not only was it a boundary issue for me (I would never go and tighten a drummers snare cord) but I saw it as emblematic of how he would be in a band... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ggm1960 Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 I was the lead guitarist in a 5-6 piece husband/wife lead band for a couple years. The husband was a good singer and harmonica player but to lesser ability switched between rhythm guitar and keys. He was a go-getter at booking gigs but a bit wiry and controlling. Occasionally he didn't like the way I'd be playing something and want to show me how to do it but of course, lacked the actual ability, so he'd spaz like a chicken caught in an electric fence hacking away at his guitar. The rest of the band and myself would just watch in stunned silence trying to keep from laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scott Powell Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 He wants it perfect - many band leaders are like that. It's not unusual and if you follow his direction you'll probably sound pretty good.... Loosey goosey doesn't cut it....if you want that start your own band.... QFT!The singer is the bandleader in my band and he is very very much the perfectionist. He drives us all very hard,and while i may have the ocassional fantasy of seeing how far the mic stand will fit down his throat i cant deny he is usually right,and try my best to do what he asks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JimiRules Posted July 12, 2009 Members Share Posted July 12, 2009 LOL I'll never forget a playing with a drummer once who got up from behind his kit to set my distortion pedal...talk about controlling!!! LOL Needless to say I didn't stick around.....not only was it a boundary issue for me (I would never go and tighten a drummers snare cord) but I saw it as emblematic of how he would be in a band... I would have taken a step back and put my foot straight up his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marko Posted July 13, 2009 Members Share Posted July 13, 2009 Okay, I got a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chevybusa Posted July 13, 2009 Members Share Posted July 13, 2009 I would have taken a step back and put my foot straight up his ass. The funny thing is that I was so surprised and incredulous that he was doing it that I honestly couldn't react, it was kinda like one of those "is this really happening?" moments. Seriously, it didn't even register at first. Looking back you're absolutely right but at the time I was just so stunned that like I said it didn't really register what was happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Z_Zoquis Posted July 13, 2009 Members Share Posted July 13, 2009 Should have turned around and moved a few of his cymbals around... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.