Sending out an email to my band with my concerns

[wades_keys]

You're right in that the best performing teams in corporations are the ones that resolve conflicts - however, that isn't the whole story. The best performing teams are also careful to ensure that the message their audience receives is in fact the one they intended to send.

 

True. Sometimes that can happen just by being consistent. It really depends on how well you know the other people, and how well they know you, and whether or not the message is "out of character".

 

For example, I've established a routine with my bandmates that is pretty similar to what the OP describes. As the keeper of the recordings, I have a birdseye view of things that are wrong, and after rehearsals that are recorded, I send out an email critique to all of the members.

 

The way I see it is: play it by ear, be consistent, avoid emotion, but for God's sake: build the relationships so this kind of thing can happen without fear of misunderstanding.

 

I think you all might have seen the result of a misunderstood e-mail in one of my old bands, when the drummer got on here. But you know what? I held my ground. I was the one willing and able to communicate, but certain others wanted to see and hear things a certain way.

 

I can't help that, and like I said: I don't want to work with people that can't and won't communicate effectively and work as a team.

[SBF3000]

most of our ventings come in form of email. I like it that way. The 3 of us are strapped to a computer all damn day anyway. Emails are well thought out (I use spell check though ), structured, the emails create a good conversation that we either carry on in email form to resolution or the next time we get together. Communication is essential. We had to boot the rythmn player Friday, he did not communicate with anyone, not for a lack of trying on the bands part to communicate with him. Be accountable and hold people accountable. Where there is no fear there is no authority.

Remove "I" where you can, spellcheck...a simple reminder that practice is what you do away from the band, rehersal is what you do together. Know your {censored} and kick some ass.

I do believe you should spend some time in the "mission statement" thread sounds like your band could use one.Good luck

[wades_keys]

most of our ventings come in form of email. I like it that way. The 3 of us are strapped to a computer all damn day anyway.

 

That brings up an interesting sidebar.

 

The problems that I DID have in communicating by e-mail, were with guys that are more "blue-collar" and don't really use e-mail in their daily work.

 

I think that those that do have to use e-mail on the job, especially to communicate with higher-ups and customers, are going to have a better feel for how to get the point across without rufffling feathers.

[SBF3000]

That brings up an interesting sidebar. The problems that I DID have in communicating by e-mail, were with guys that are more "blue-collar" and don't really use e-mail in their daily work. I think that those that do have to use e-mail on the job, especially to communicate with higher-ups and customers, are going to have a better feel for how to get the point across without rufffling feathers.

[ckcondon]

We use email pretty exclusively for band discussions since we rarely get together outside of rehearsals and gigs. Most band business, scheduling and setlist discussions are via email. Fortunately everyone is pretty available to reply quickly.

There's nothing worse than being the last guy to read and email discussion that already has 10 replies!

I have had guys in the band that were email-challenged and it always led to problems. It's just how we work and not everyone can do it that way.

[Yer Blues]

It really depends on the individuals in your band. I wouldn't take offense to it and I would be glad someone else would be bringing it up, but I'd also learn my parts for practice. If someone isn't levelheaded I could see them flipping out. I sent a similar e-mail one time and the band leader said "no one gives me ultimatums!" Of course, if I would have brought it up at a practice he would have probably said the same thing.

[Yer Blues]

That brings up an interesting sidebar. The problems that I DID have in communicating by e-mail, were with guys that are more "blue-collar" and don't really use e-mail in their daily work. I think that those that do have to use e-mail on the job, especially to communicate with higher-ups and customers, are going to have a better feel for how to get the point across without rufffling feathers.

 

 

I definitely agree with this. To me e-mail makes things so clear and doesn't leave anything open. It's in writing what needs to be done and everyone said "OK - it's cool". The guys I play with would rather avoid e-mail at any cost, so it's another resource we are not taking advantage of.

[BlueStrat]

 

Any band that needs to check the transcripts to stay on track is already doomed. It's all about using the right tool for the job. In my experience, I've found that guys that interrupt, refuse to stay on the topic at hand, shouts down the rest of the band while drinking a half gallon of beer ... usually pay zero attention to well worded emails. On the couple of occasions - I've run into that guy - I reach for the proverbial 2x4. I ask to speak to him one on one - and use that opportunity to explain that such behavior isn't acceptable in the group. I then make it clear that if it continues I'll have no choice but to use my influence as a "hitter" (stolen from another thread today...) and see to it that he's sent packing. If that behavior continues - I stay true to my word. Knowing that the rest of my bandmates won't tolerate it either makes it an easy fix. Just saying ....

 

 

 

Look, I play with three bands, and a duo partner. Maybe you're able to keep it all straight between 12 or 14 people, and maybe I'm just a dolt who needs it in writing to remember what I said to whom and what they replied. Could be.

 

Last month, at one of the band rehearsals, the drummer was trying to book a gig at a club. He said it was for December 10-11. I told him I was already booked for those days, but I could try to get them changed if I needed to. He said don't worry about it yet, the guy hasn't confirmed. So I told him I'd wait to hear from him and he told me he'd call me as soon as he knew anything. Three weeks later, I find out the gig is booked and confirmed. I told him I was double booked, and waiting for his call to tell me to change the date I already had. And he said "What? You didn't tell me that!" I assured him I did, but he insists I didn't. I also told him I was waiting for his call to confirm, but now it was too late for me to change the date at the first gig I had booked. He still says he would never have booked a gig if he'd known I was booked. And around and around we went. Perhaps if we'd done it by email, he'd have facts to look at instead of trying to make me look like an irresponsible yak.

 

As to you confronting that guy I fired...I'd have paid money to watch that show. I tried, multiple times, to get his attention and get him to calm down. Sometimes he would, but it was always short lived. I would have cut him loose long before that but it was they who hired me, not the other way around.

 

As to him paying attention to the emails (I believe he did, based on the responses I got from him) ....doesn't matter whether he did or not, he lost the ability to come back and claim that I said or didn't say something. Having things in writing made it a lot easier to fire him and a lot harder for him to go to my other band members and build his case and create division in my band. When the other guys called me and asked what happened, I forwarded them the emails and his responses to me and they saw it for themselves. He's gone, they all stuck with me, and that's the end of it. Had I not had these things in writing, I might till be dealing with it, or said to hell with it and scrapped the whole project.

 

If verbal communication work for everyone else, that's fine, but I've done it both ways and getting things in writing makes for a lot less confusion for me than he-said- I said-you said. YMMV!

[GCDEF]

 

Look, I play with three bands, and a duo partner. Maybe you're able to keep it all straight between 12 or 14 people, and maybe I'm just a dolt who needs it in writing to remember what I said to whom and what they replied. Could be. Last month, at one of the band rehearsals, the drummer was trying to book a gig at a club. He said it was for December 10-11. I told him I was already booked for those days, but I could try to get them changed if I needed to. He said don't worry about it yet, the guy hasn't confirmed. So I told him I'd wait to hear from him and he told me he'd call me as soon as he knew anything. Three weeks later, I find out the gig is booked and confirmed. I told him I was double booked, and waiting for his call to tell me to change the date I already had. And he said "What? You didn't tell me that!" I assured him I did, but he insists I didn't. I also told him I was waiting for his call to confirm, but now it was too late for me to change the date at the first gig I had booked. He still says he would never have booked a gig if he'd known I was booked. And around and around we went. Perhaps if we'd done it by email, he'd have facts to look at instead of trying to make me look like an irresponsible yak. As to you confronting that guy I fired...I'd have paid money to watch that show. I tried, multiple times, to get his attention and get him to calm down. Sometimes he would, but it was always short lived. I would have cut him loose long before that but it was they who hired me, not the other way around. As to him paying attention to the emails (I believe he did, based on the responses I got from him) ....doesn't matter whether he did or not, he lost the ability to come back and claim that I said or didn't say something. Having things in writing made it a lot easier to fire him and a lot harder for him to go to my other band members and build his case and create division in my band. When the other guys called me and asked what happened, I forwarded them the emails and his responses to me and they saw it for themselves. He's gone, they all stuck with me, and that's the end of it. Had I not had these things in writing, I might till be dealing with it, or said to hell with it and scrapped the whole project. If verbal communication work for everyone else, that's fine, but I've done it both ways and getting things in writing makes for a lot less confusion for me than he-said- I said-you said. YMMV!

 

 

Email has its place, and that's a great example of what and why. For things like confirming songs, schedules, rehearsals, gigs, arrangements and things not open to misinterpretation, an audit trail is invaluable.

 

For things like the OP's email, which I agree on the surface looks benign enough, face to face is best. I don't know why, but there's always somebody who would get offended by something like that.

[mstreck]

I disagree. Putting things in writing help me to keep my thoughts organised, edit what I want to say before anyone hears it, and doesn't allow for the subject to be changed or extraneous topics to be introduced into the conversation.

 

 

THIS^^^^^

[TrickyBoy]

I've never understood people's aversion to conflict in general. I mean I'm not a fighter by any means, but I think that conflict generally is a good thing. It clarifies peoples opinions and gets everything out on the table. I find this aversion to conflict to lead to a situation where there is no direction because nobody wants to hurt anyone else's feelings.

 

I'd probably edit the OP's Email somewhat to read more along the lines of: "There's something I'd really like to discuss at the next band practice..." I think the Email first allows people to think about their position on this prior to the actual meeting.

[mstreck]

 

For things like the OP's email, which I agree on the surface looks benign enough, face to face is best. I don't know why, but there's always somebody who would get offended by something like that.

 

 

Perhaps phone calls to the individual band members telling them to check their email - and that you are emailing it for the reasons that Bleustrat outlined above. That has worked for us on matters that get lost in a discussion.

[MusicalSchizo]

I've written many emails similar to the OP's email. I'd say just about universally they've been understood, and led to spirited but very positive discussion at rehearsal, and have improved the bands I've been in.

 

Of course, I've been fortunate to have mostly been in bands where people knew my personality beforehand, so they knew what sort of context in which to take my email.

 

So I guess it just depends on how you see your band communicate best. Some bands are best with phone calls, some are best talking things through in person, some are best over emails. If you think the email will be misinterpreted and taken as some sort of attack, don't send it.

 

Good luck with educating them on the difference between practice and rehearsal. Some people NEVER get it...

Brian V.

[SpaceNorman]

 

Email serves best to communicate facts, confirm commitments and deal with housekeeping details, etc. When serious dialogue and understanding is the goal - the most effective communicators usually opt for face to face discussions if at all possible.

 

 

Pat,

 

I've quoted myself from a previous post pointing out that I agree wholeheartedly that stuff like confirming bookings is best handled in email. I'm also of the opinion that trying to talk to bandmates about improving rehearsals ... especially when he's basically trying to change their behavior - qualifies as serious dialogue and would best be handled face to face. If it were me - I'd mention that I wanted to talk about the issue prior to rehearsal (essentially an invitation to discuss), drive the face to face discussion - and then recap any agreements in a followup email after the discussion.

 

As far as paying to see me confront that guy. I'm not big on confrontion. I approach virtually all personnel issues very matter of factly. A quick explanation of the behavior I have issues with - and a clear statement that I will not deal with it again. If it happens again - and I'm in a position to fire - I fire. If not - I pack. If there's something I can't live with - I put my energy into figuring out how to live without it.

[-MBro-]

Thanks to everyone who has chimed in with their opinions and advise. I handled the whole situation by starting with a conversation on the phone then presenting the email. The initial phone conversation helped build rapport, confirm that I dont intend to insult anyone and that I have a deep respect for what they add to the band. In each conversation the email was taken very well and the rest of our dialogue was primarily focused on solutions. My primary purpose was to get everyone on the same page without any bad feelings or alienating anyone. Obviously I handled this matter with kid gloves and it payed off. Whether or not each person will live up to their commitments remains to be seen.

 

Thanks again!

 

 

[fanuvbrak]

I don't think "havening" is a word.

[-MBro-]

Thanks for the tip professor. It was a typo the spell checker didnt grab it so maybe it is a word afterall. I wanted to make the email as perfect as possible but sadly I am not as good as some at writing but at the same time a few mistakes dont mean {censored}. I wonder how many of your 23000 posts are actually usefull. Next time try to STFU until you have something relevant to add.

[Lee Knight]

The longer an email, the more ranty it seems. It sounds like there's two issues: Can we focus on playing during our studio time, and get coffee or something afterwards to run through non-musical concerns? Can we give eachother a heads-up ASAP if we're not going to be able to pull off a song that week? I'd get to the point.

 

 

Or more specifically...

 

We need to optimize our limited rehearsal time. Here's how I think we can:

[BATCAT]

Thanks for the tip professor. It was a typo the spell checker didnt grab it so maybe it is a word afterall. I wanted to make the email as perfect as possible but sadly I am not as good as some at writing but at the same time a few mistakes dont mean {censored}. I wonder how many of your 23000 posts are actually usefull. Next time try to STFU until you have something relevant to add.

Comma after "tip".

[fanuvbrak]

Thanks for the tip professor. It was a typo the spell checker didnt grab it so maybe it is a word afterall. I wanted to make the email as perfect as possible but sadly I am not as good as some at writing but at the same time a few mistakes dont mean {censored}. I wonder how many of your 23000 posts are actually usefull. Next time try to STFU until you have something relevant to add.

 

 

The alternative was to tell you that e-mailing your bandmates something like that is chicken{censored} and will absolutely, positively be taken the wrong way. But then I read that you already did it, but you called them first. You guys don't talk at rehearsal? Was this so urgent that it couldn't wait? So, I decided that the whole thread was pointless because you'd already made up your mind before you posted. You just wanted some praise on how awesome you are that you practice and you want the band to practice, also.

 

So what'd that leave me? I gave you the tip about havening.

 

Hope this helps.

[BATCAT]

Hope this helps.

 

 

Such Achievement Helperism is rarely seen outside of Guitar Jam.

[-MBro-]

 

The alternative was to tell you that e-mailing your bandmates something like that is chicken{censored} and will absolutely, positively be taken the wrong way. But then I read that you already did it, but you called them first. You guys don't talk at rehearsal? Was this so urgent that it couldn't wait? So, I decided that the whole thread was pointless because you'd already made up your mind before you posted. You just wanted some praise on how awesome you are that you practice and you want the band to practice, also. So what'd that leave me? I gave you the tip about havening. Hope this helps.

 

 

 

Does anyone know what this guys problem is?

[Kramerguy]

 

Does anyone know what this guys problem is?

 

 

that's just how he is - you get used to it.

 

Anyways, in response to your original post, I actually thought it was a bit overly accommodating and lacked any real teeth. If bandmates are slacking and you finally decide to put your foot down, you should do it in a way that shouts WAKE UP AND DO YOUR PART, ASSHOLES!! ya know?

[BlueStrat]

 

Such Achievement Helperism is rarely seen outside of Guitar Jam.

 

 

It's not helpening!

[cephus]

I like to just send a tickler email out to the guys who habitually are under-prepared before rehearsal to gently chide them into practicing. I would also talk to individual violators rather than send out the mass email to everyone. As the youngest member, you have to appreciate that your comments may be taken as more hostile. If everyone is coming unprepared but you, then you are in the wrong band. they want to half-ass it. Or maybe they have different objectives.