Members tim_7string Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'm assuming a lot of us here have been in a lot of bands over the years. This could really apply to all bands, originals and covers, jazz and death metal...it's all about social and human interaction, after all. So, I'm curious, what is the one thing, the last straw if you will, that would make you go, "Screw this, I'm outta here!" from the band you are in now (or one you are putting together)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 There are basically only two things that would cause me to bail instantly. One would be band leadership that I can't trust or respect. The other would be a band member who crosses the pale in terms of his behavior on stage and/or with other band mates - the guy who gets too drunk to finish a gig, pulls a no call, no show on a gig, gets into a physical altercation with a band mate, etc. The presence of either of those will send me packing instantly - and no amount of followup conversation will slow me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rangefinder Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Probably feeling in physical danger, because it's just not worth it at that point. Everything else I might conceivably shrug off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'd have to be getting a LOT out of a band to continue on with someone I didn't trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'll let ya know after tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rangefinder Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I'd have to be getting a LOT out of a band to continue on with someone I didn't trust. Well, I've trusted maybe five people in my entire life, so that would be a pretty high bar for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pinchedharmonic Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Just edited my unnecessary novel now that I realise it can be summed up in four words: No fun = no me. Perfect, Cooter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ski219 Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Hmm, Probably if it stopped being fun I would quit. In my original band we play extremely well together and most of us get along really well and are becoming friends. There is, however, one member who is sucking the fun out of it and even though he is a great player I'm afraid that it will soon come to an either him or me situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austincowbell Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 thought about it a long time and I made a list:1. It's not fun anymore2. See #1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 No fun = no me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChordGirl Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 The biggest would probably be if band members started doing heroin, meth, crack, etc. That's closely followed by shady money management. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TIMKEYS Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 ditto on the no fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members srspud Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I've ever only quit one band in 35 years. It was because this great PIT grad drummer that I really loved got back into heavy drugs and alcohol. He developed a split personality, got violent and unreliable and was scaring me. I talked to him about pulling it back together, but he couldn't so I left. Just a couple months later he was found dead of an overdose at 45 years old. Tragic waste of talent and an otherwise great guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 8, 2011 Moderators Share Posted January 8, 2011 Little slices of bread on the backstage catering tray. I mean, what am I, how do I, make a sandwich... with this. I can't work like this. [video=youtube;ardysVzHwSA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ardysVzHwSA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Well, I've trusted maybe five people in my entire life, so that would be a pretty high bar for me. Granted trust is a relative thing - and one in which the degree of risk/trustthat you grant somebody must be considered for any measure of trust to be relevant. When I talk about trust in bandmates - it's about trusting them to be honest regarding issues involving the band (i.e., money, availability, meeting their commitments, etc.). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khem1cal Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Being late/no shows or not doing their job. I had quit my last band because the drummer was unreliable, soon as he met a chick he was nowhere to be found. short of that, I don't care if I like them or they like me, or if they get smacked up all day(as long as they can rehearse and play live). I plan to just go with hired guns instead of bandmates now though, makes more sense for me in my situation, but I know a lot of guys that are a group/buddies and it works great for them. I like to be solo personally, don't even want to see you after the rehearsal/gig tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SeniorBlues Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I've been fortunate in that I've never played in gigging bands with guys who had issues related to professionalism and reliability. I've continued playing with guys who were obnoxious. Some guys had drug/alcohol problems, but it never affected the gig directly. Leadership issues have lead to me leaving, but mostly it's about the music. That's how we spend most of our time at gigs and rehearsals, and if it doesn't sound right to my ears, and doesn't show signs of getting fixed any time soon, then I'm gone. In my experience, that's the primary reason people leave, whether it's getting fired or of their own volition. (Often that's a difference without a distinction.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted January 8, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I think cooterbrown summed it up pretty well. "No fun = no me." However, I would also add respect to that bill. Lack of respect and/or fun means I'm going to be gone soon. For me to have fun, I have to have people in a group that has a similar attitude towards music and bands. I like to be a little goofy onstage, but not to the point that the music sounds like crap. I can relax more and enjoy being up there when I know confidently that the music is going to kick ass. The fun aspect for me is getting a song down well. Getting it to sound TIGHT. Blowing people away with our energy and power. Watching a formerly apathetic crowd go into a frenzy and RUN to the dance floor when they hear their favorite songs and then stay there all night long while we play some more. That is FUN to me. I love that and live for it. Now for respect. The band I work with has to respect the arrangement of the music and works hard to get it down. This means personal practice and getting specific parts down at band rehearsal. They respect that I am the lead singer and that as the lead singer, I need help with backing vocals (the "Oi's!" in TNT, the "Here she comes again" harmonies in My Best Friend's Girl). They respect my playing, but more than that, they respect their own playing and listen to everyone to serve the song best, rather than their own ego or holding back on harmonies and backing because they don't want to give me "too much spotlight" or something. No showboating, no "ah, good enough" middling about on their instrument. Wanting to give the best they can, every time. Playing every show as if it were their last. Fun and respect has been rapidly draining out of my current band and I don't think I want to deal with it anymore. I could continue on just for the money, but I'm never happy when I do that. I want to have a band I enjoy being in. I no longer feel that way about the band I'm in now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted January 8, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Haha, classic! Love that movie! When I first saw it back in the 80s, I had no idea how much of the stuff that was in that movie would be something I could actually relate to as a gigging musician, even on the small-time level. The latter part of the movie when Nigel leaves the band and they try to carry on without him (limping along basically)...I can remember doing that with a band when we lost our drummer while on the road in Montana at one of the 6-night a week clubs and we had to continue the rest of the week with two drummers that couldn't play very well. Then we got fined (docked) by the club for letting a 16 year old kid (one of the drummers, the one that actually owned a drum set) play in the bar, even though I was 19 and so was the original drummer. What a disaster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rodclement Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 Left two gigs for issues: One for drug use that got out hand, mine and everyone elses! Left a duo since I couldn't do a gig and the guitar player booked it with a sub, without me knowing, used our name, and sucked! Gig owner called me to complain and that was that... Rod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tomm Williams Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 1--any drug use2--unreliable (probably due to #1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DevilRaysFan Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 1.drug use2.musician apathy3. too much drama I think cooterbrown summed it up pretty well. "No fun = no me." sometimes i have to forgo the fun factor in sake of the paycheck............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted January 8, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 sometimes i have to forgo the fun factor in sake of the paycheck............... This is why I am not a musician for a living. I can't stand how my music gets affected by my mood in a negative way. Because it's a creative thing and is very much linked to how I feel, I always want it to come across well. And I hear you on #2 (musician apathy). That seems to be what I am dealing with now. No tantrums or getting wasted (none of us drink or do drugs), just a real lack of wanting to improve. I need to be in a creative, vital environment, otherwise it just sucks the life out of me (which is what is happening now). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 I understand the "no fun" driver - but, I took the OP's question literally: "what is the one thing, the last straw if you will, that would make you go" While little or no fun would certainly be a factor - in the right circumstances (i.e., I'm getting paid bags of money and/or developing lots of quality contacts - or I had no other options at the moment and really needed the money, etc.) - I might consider gutting it out for a while with a group that wasn't was much fun. However, in a situation where I don't respect and can't trust the band leadership - or in situations where band members are destroying MY reputation purely by association (i.e., completely wasted on stage, physical altercations between band members, etc.) - I won't spend another minute on that sort of bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stevesherbert Posted January 8, 2011 Members Share Posted January 8, 2011 personally, i kind of prefer NOT being super-close friends with band mates. a good, respectful, fun relationship is important, but i like having the ability to get away from the band when i want to. also i find it makes it easier to get down to business, i.e. playing music, when the band gets together. re: drug use, for me it all comes down to how you handle yourself. the 'drugs are bad' crowd are hypocrites because of course, they don't consider any of the drugs THEY use (alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, etc) drugs. in my experience, band mates who can't keep their drug use under control are the problem. needing a smoke break after every song is a problem, as is a $200/day coke habit. i know people who are mild heroin addicts, but who are great, reliable people who you'd never suspect because they keep their problem in check. for me, the thing that would make me quit a band is a lack of respect, and this can manifest itself in a number of ways. ditching practice, not giving your best effort, not being diplomatic, not considering other people's ideas, etc are all examples of what drives me nuts in a band. as a person who lives to play music, it's hard for me to understand people who don't love it as much, and if music causes you stress (in a bad way, because of course some stress is inevitable with anything worth doing) and makes you a {censored}ty person, then by all means quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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