What's the one thing that would make you quit a band?

[wades_keys]

Sooo, the update... last night went much better than Friday, The singer wan't a moonbat, the band sounded tighter and better, the show flowed much better, the sax player was sober, and the casino staff told us we were the best band they've had in there for years and want to put it to the tribal management that we get one weekend a month at the minimum, and possibly a house gig for the rest of the winter. Either the bands they are used to getting are really weak or I can no longer believe my lying ears, because I thought Friday we sounded like ass, and Saturday was better but still sloppy.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

In all likelihood, the combination of "new" tunes, feel and stage presence is what they are noticing.

You'll get tighter, hopefully, but even if you don't, it ain't the end of the world. That's something I've had to learn to accept about my band: it's never going to be EXACTLY what I'd like it to be.

I'll take feel that's a little sloppy over sterile precision any day. Audiences do too. If that weren't true, Led Zep would have never gotten out of the rehearsal room. Just keep on feelin' it and you'll be alright.

Sidebar: It could also be that you are carrying that band. That's cool man, don't let it get you down. A lot of bands are carried by one member. It shouldn't be a weight on your shoulders. Accept it and keep playing your ass off; see where it goes. Sometimes the other cats will rise to the occasion and at least attain a level of competence if not the brilliance that you'd hope for.

[BlueStrat]

 

Don't be so hard on yourself. In all likelihood, the combination of "new" tunes, feel and stage presence is what they are noticing. You'll get tighter, hopefully, but even if you don't, it ain't the end of the world. That's something I've had to learn to accept about my band: it's never going to be EXACTLY what I'd like it to be. I'll take feel that's a little sloppy over sterile precision any day. Audiences do too. If that weren't true, Led Zep would have never gotten out of the rehearsal room. Just keep on feelin' it and you'll be alright.

 

 

 

Well, by sloppy, I mean dead air between songs (my pet peeve), blown intros and endings, and the drummer, who is a fill-in, being a good player technically but rushes like a mofo. But you're right, those are things that will tighten up in time (and when I get my regular drummer back) as long as I can put up with the Princess.

[BlueStrat]

 

and what exactly does 'ass' sound like?

 

 

 

At times, I felt we were about 3 clicks above being Complete!

[wades_keys]

Well, by sloppy, I mean dead air between songs (my pet peeve), blown intros and endings, and the drummer, who is a fill-in, being a good player technically but rushes like a mofo. But you're right, those are things that will tighten up in time (and when I get my regular drummer back) as long as I can put up with the Princess.

 

Sounds like my band, almost to a tee.

 

I hate dead air, but dammit after 3 YEARS we still have it.

 

You know what I do though? I get on the mic and ham it up. That'll learn em LOL.

 

If I'm feelin' like a passive aggressive prick I'll "telegraph" the next song cuz I know our guitarist HATES that. He calls it "telegraphing" - I call it "get your ass in gear". I did that 3 different times at the last gig, and after the last time I kinda blew up a little (not too obvious to the patrons) - just looked at him sideways and said something like "too much {censored}ing dead air: let's roll, c'mon".

 

I think he got the point. How many songs start with bass guitar? Hell, if I could, I'd start em all: sometimes I think the guys are lost in space, cuz I always (mostly) know what the next is well before we get to it and I'm ready to go. Frustrating sometimes, for sure.

[wades_keys]

At times, I felt we were about 3 clicks above being Complete!

 

Welcome to my world.

[SBF3000]

not getting anywhere with the current lineup as far as creating good music/writing new {censored}.

Carrying band members gets old, left for that, too.

[BlueStrat]

 

If I'm feelin' like a passive aggressive prick I'll "telegraph" the next song cuz I know our guitarist HATES that. He calls it "telegraphing" - I call it "get your ass in gear"

 

 

Yep! I did the same thing last night waiting for the drummer to count it off.

[wades_keys]

I'll admit that at times I've been somewhat of the "Princess" in the band. Though not in the same way as you describe. More along the lines of not being as tactful as I should be.

In particular I have a hard time with soundchecks. I'll ask the guys to play as a unit so I can go out front, and more often than not there's an annoying waffling around followed by a halfhearted attempt, which does get to me.

I think what I need to do is try and guide them ahead of time - maybe pick a soundcheck tune that we all agree on, and talk it over with them as far as how the procedure should be, so that when I need to do this with no time to spare, they can get rolling immediately. I tend to expect a countoff and GO, and when that doesn't happen it's like herding cats and my frustrations rise.

I also tend to get frustrated at onstage communication re: sound issues. I've tried to get them to use discreet hand signals: point to the monitor or the main, give me a thumbs up or down. They never do it. Frustrating as hell, because walking over and whispering in my ear IMO is a distraction and takes away from what little stage presence we tend to have. Not saying that in a negative or spiteful way either, it's just that we're not a very dynamic band on stage and things like that IMO are noticeable and tend to put the audience off of the show.

I resolve to take a few minutes before the next gig and review all of these things with the guys: easier to be tactful in that circumstance than when the downbeat comes.

[BlueStrat]

 

I'll admit that at times I've been somewhat of the "Princess" in the band. Though not in the same way as you describe. More along the lines of not being as tactful as I should be. In particular I have a hard time with soundchecks. I'll ask the guys to play as a unit so I can go out front, and more often than not there's an annoying waffling around followed by a halfhearted attempt, which does get to me. I think what I need to do is try and guide them ahead of time - maybe pick a soundcheck tune that we all agree on, and talk it over with them as far as how the procedure should be, so that when I need to do this with no time to spare, they can get rolling immediately. I tend to expect a countoff and GO, and when that doesn't happen it's like herding cats and my frustrations rise. I also tend to get frustrated at onstage communication re: sound issues. I've tried to get them to use discreet hand signals: point to the monitor or the main, give me a thumbs up or down. They never do it. Frustrating as hell, because walking over and whispering in my ear IMO is a distraction and takes away from what little stage presence we tend to have. Not saying that in a negative or spiteful way either, it's just that we're not a very dynamic band on stage and things like that IMO are noticeable and tend to put the audience off of the show. I resolve to take a few minutes before the next gig and review all of these things with the guys: easier to be tactful in that circumstance than when the downbeat comes.

 

 

 

That doesn't sound like being a princess to me. Sounds more like being a PRO. The "princesses" are the guys who think things like good sound, good monitors, and good gear just happen magically and get pissy when it isn't up to their standards.

[wades_keys]

That doesn't sound like being a princess to me. Sounds more like being a PRO. The "princesses" are the guys who think things like good sound, good monitors, and good gear just happen magically and get pissy when it isn't up to their standards.

How true.

Especially the "good sound" part. The band contributes as much to this if not more so than the gear (within reason of course). Ever since we've gotten our stage volume under control, we've had better gigs, more people up near the stage, and more compliments after the gig.

Doing the kind of music we do in the places we play does not warrant a "blast zone" in front of the stage, unlike some other genres like modern rock where that just adds to the effect. I've noticed that younger people are more tolerant of loud bands than those in their 40's and up too.

This is the year that we as a band have to step up and invest into it; I hope we make it. Our mixer took a major crap at the last gig; they don't know how lucky they are that I was able to get it to work for us at all: one dead channel, one half-dead channel, and 2 others that only function if the solo buttons are engaged.

[tim_7string]

 

No goals, no direction, uncertain gigs, and the strife that results. If I had to pick ONE thing? More rehearsals than gigs.

 

 

An excellent post.

 

This is what has happened with the band as well, at least up until the last month or so. Waaaay more rehearsals, very few gigs. I almost quit months ago before the band even got started. I had some patience and we finally got more gigs...but I was pretty close to leaving because of the damn rehearsals. They weren't really going anywhere and it was for the benefit of the bass player. What sucked is the bass player would forget the stuff by next rehearsal anyway, so I always felt like we were just wasting a lot of time for nothing...and it was costing me money every time. We definitely improved a lot quicker by simply having gigs every week and just working out the songs onstage. It's a method I always poo-pooed when I was younger, but I see the benefits now.

[TIMKEYS]

An excellent post. This is what has happened with the band as well, at least up until the last month or so. Waaaay more rehearsals, very few gigs. I almost quit months ago before the band even got started. I had some patience and we finally got more gigs...but I was pretty close to leaving because of the damn rehearsals. They weren't really going anywhere and it was for the benefit of the bass player. What sucked is the bass player would forget the stuff by next rehearsal anyway, so I always felt like we were just wasting a lot of time for nothing...and it was costing me money every time. We definitely improved a lot quicker by simply having gigs every week and just working out the songs onstage. It's a method I always poo-pooed when I was younger, but I see the benefits now.

 

 

 

We are pretty much a total life fire band, and I agree nothing gets a band up to speed like playing out.

[badhabit]

Okay, so I did my second gig with this female fronted band last night. The first gig was a disaster because they wanted a band that didn't sound like a band, but more like a CD on a boombox that you might hear coming from the kitchen while you're sitting at the bar. We had to use the crappy house PA, the management bitched continually about the volume, and the singer took it out on the band. Bad weekend. So, this weekend, we're at a casino (first off, as an aside, let me say I had no idea so many people still smoked cigarettes, but it seems all of them were there, I could hardly breathe, and one very cute but very dim young lady was walking around with a cigarette in one hand and about a 9 month old baby in the other-but I digress). I take an hour off work, costing myself an hour's pay, to load up my PA, haul it to the casino and get it set up for an 8:30 start. On the way to the gig I get a text from the singer: Oops, I just read the contract, we don't start til 9:30. Sweet, an hour of lostb wages for nothing. Fail #1. I get to the casino- lots of construction everywhere, no stage entrance, so we have to haul gear about 50 yards from the entrance to the stage, trying to squeeze between rows of fat smokers transfixed by video machines hoping to turn those pennies into big bucks, and who seem genuinely irritated that someone might actually want to get by their Shamu asses. Fail #2. We get to the bar, only to find a giant big screen TV that goes from the ceiling to the stage airing the local Eastern Washington University bowl game. It's 6:30 and only the end of the 3rd quarter, and as everyone knows, a quarter can last over an hour in college football. So they don't even want us bringing gear in yet. We can wait inside where it's warm but the air feels like the gassing of Verdun in WW1 or wait outside in the wind and freezing rain. Fail #3. Finally, we get the gear in, set up, I set the entire PA up, get it all running, look around, and the whole band, after setting their own gear up, decide to go hang out in the rooms they paid for so they wouldn't have to drive back (it's a 65 mile hump for some of them to the gig) I guess expecting to get a sound check in a new room is asking way too much. So I set levels the best I can with nothing to go by, and hope for the best. Fail #4. At 9:20 the singer strolls up and says, 'Where's my mic?' She has a wireless mic setup. I said "I don't know, where did you put it? " "I left it right there", she says, pointing to the rack, board, and all the covers and cases. "Oh, you mean where I told you not to put stuff because I was going to be burying that space?" She said, "well, you told me not to put my purse there. I thought the mic case would be okay." So I had to pull the rack and board out and move all the covers and cases to find her mic box. Fail #5. She then looks at me, with all seriousness, and says, "where's my mic cable?" I said, "I don't have it. Where did you put it?" She said "I don't have one. I just assumed you would have it". I said no, everyone provides their own mics and cables. I have the PA but personal gear is up to everyone else to provide. She immediately got pissy and said, "well, I guess I don't sing then, because I need a cable. I guess I'm just going to have to go buy one on top of everything else I have to do". And I'm thinking, WTF, I'm supposed to provide you a PA, set it all up, make sure it works and then make sure you have personal gear? I bit my tongue and someone else in the band handed her a spare cable. Fail #5. Then the minute before we start, she says "I lost my lyric book. I hope I can remember these songs". Fail #6. After the first song, the casino security chief comes up and says "say, fellas, this isn't an arena, you guys are WAY TOO LOUD". Now, I had everything set low because I didn't want to be too loud out of the gate. But gee, since we didn't get a sound check, well, that's what we get. So now, onstage during the gig, I have to try to guess what the appropriate levels are and if the mix is good. Fail #7. Third song in, she forgets the lyrics, looks at me, makes a face, and then mumbles into the mic, leans over and apologizes to me for forgetting the lyrics, but then after the song, announces over the PA: "Sorry, folks, we're having technical difficulties with our sound. Hopefully we can get it straightened out." And since the PA is my job, guess who looks like the asshole? Fail #8. After about 6 songs and no more complaints from management (the security guy gives me the thumbs up) the singer takes a break and I sing a song, a perfect time for her to go out front and see what the sound is like so can get an idea of how the mix is. So while I'm singing, I look around and ....no singer, anywhere to be found. Finally, I look over to the side of the stage where the bar is, and guess who's sitting on a stool, sipping a glass of chablis, chatting with the bartender, completely ignoring the band? Yep. Fail #9. Toward the end of the set, she says (departing from the set list) "let's skip _____ and do ______. No wait, let's do _______. Or, we could do.________. No, forget it, go back to _______. Wait, I don't know, let's do ______instead." This went on for a full minute. Finally, I started a song of mine, and she ended up leaving the stage. Fail # 10. At the end of the night, people were making all kinds of requests, and she'd look a the guy making the request and say " I think so", and look at us and say "We can do that, right guys?" This after our keyboard player already told her twice that if we haven't rehearsed it, we can't play it. Since she doesn't play an instrument, she doesn't seem to realize that we aren't human ipods. Fail #11. Finally, the night ends. We're all sitting together and she looks at me and says, "Why are you so negative tonight? You seem like you're really grumpy." About that time I was ready to go off, but I controlled myself and said nothing, I just said 'Mmm-hmm." She says "Well, I like working with you, but you're grumpy. I just thought I'd tell you." Fail # 12. I won't even go int the sax player getting drunk (I don't blame him, really) the drummer's meter problems or my amp frying a fuse the first time in 10 years. Fail, fail, fail. The sad thing is, she's a really good singer and entertainer. But with all the other stuff, I don't see me being there for long. I can't stand unprofessionalism, and she epitomizes it. It's a lot of work and a lot of aggravation for not much money.

 

 

Sorry Bluestrat, but that gig sounds frikin' awful. The only way I'd stay is if I had no responsibilities except to show up with my own personal gear and play. I'd want no part of the PA BS, or bookings or organizing. Let her handle that. As you know, no good deed goes unpunished. Supplying sound gear and operating it is the most thankless job in any band. No one respects you and all you get is complaints. I know, I have done it a lot. If anyone these days bitches at me, I walk away and say, "Do it yourself then".

[wades_keys]

We are pretty much a total life fire band, and I agree nothing gets a band up to speed like playing out.

 

Yup. Some folks need that kick in the pants - it's {censored} or get off the pot, basically. It can provide its own focus when a leader isn't able to. Go to the gig and screw up a part on a tune, and you're going to remember that a whole lot more than when/if you do that at a rehearsal.

 

Puts the responsibility on each band member to get their {censored} together, and more importantly, gives each member a focus on what he/she needs to improve, without needing a 3rd party to ride herd. At least, that's the theory: I figure it's a good test of how well everyone is listening and what their ethic is like, at the very least....

 

Granted, that only works if you have at least ONE guy in the band that generally has their {censored} together at the gig. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't want the whole band to collapse - that's a trainwreck.

[Bignasty006]

Drugs, Egotistical behaviors, lack of leadership, and lack of dedication.
People showing up high(and/or hungover) and unprepared. The drug users were open with any ideas, but they always had the final say so as to whether we'd do this breakdown in a song, cover this song, put a solo there etc. etc. etc.
So I bounced.

That was just one instance. The other was a church/youth group band. It was really cool because we had a leader with years and years of experience in music and the business. He knew what he was doing. Everything was going good until they tried to put rules on us. We had to go to church, attend the group meetings, all the church affiliated activities etc. etc. etc.
I grew up in a religious home; went to church. The whole 9 yards. Just wasn't the reason I wanted to play music.

[bnelly428]

Yup. Some folks need that kick in the pants - it's {censored} or get off the pot, basically. It can provide its own focus when a leader isn't able to. Go to the gig and screw up a part on a tune, and you're going to remember that a whole lot more than when/if you do that at a rehearsal. Puts the responsibility on each band member to get their {censored} together, and more importantly, gives each member a focus on what he/she needs to improve, without needing a 3rd party to ride herd. At least, that's the theory: I figure it's a good test of how well everyone is listening and what their ethic is like, at the very least.... Granted, that only works if you have at least ONE guy in the band that generally has their {censored} together at the gig. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't want the whole band to collapse - that's a trainwreck.

 

 

Great Assessment. We have a "spycam" at some gigs. Our bass player has an old sony camcorder and we see his ass for 3 hours, but it records the music surprisingly well. We can hear everything and I use it to see what I screwed up. I also know the parts that throw me every show and make sure I play those the days leading up to the shows. IE I want you to want me, Just memorizing the lead part (live version) Better now, but if I don't play it for a while, I miss that first B bend etc.

[bnelly428]

Reasons I would quit would usually fall into people not doing their fair share of the work load (load in/out) and personality conflicts. Some people regardless of talent can and will not be convinced of anything besides their own opinion. When you're a cover band, you can't play the "standards" and then throw in a few obscure alternative songs circa 2005. Doesn't work.

[TIMKEYS]

Yup. Some folks need that kick in the pants - it's {censored} or get off the pot, basically. It can provide its own focus when a leader isn't able to. Go to the gig and screw up a part on a tune, and you're going to remember that a whole lot more than when/if you do that at a rehearsal. Puts the responsibility on each band member to get their {censored} together, and more importantly, gives each member a focus on what he/she needs to improve, without needing a 3rd party to ride herd. At least, that's the theory: I figure it's a good test of how well everyone is listening and what their ethic is like, at the very least.... Granted, that only works if you have at least ONE guy in the band that generally has their {censored} together at the gig. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't want the whole band to collapse - that's a trainwreck.

 

 

 

True,, the big reason why we can operate like we do is we back up a very strong front man that has worked solo a ton in his career. we basically coldcocked three new songs last night live. None of us had ever heard them before. we got the key sig,,, a 10 second brief on the chords and did them. Last few songs of the night on a big football night so it was a good time to run though them. Its also the way we have always done this deal ,, so no one in the band gets cold feet. You do it enough and you get pretty good at it. The font man makes all the difference in the world for sure.

[vanlatte]

 

. . i know people who are mild heroin addicts, .

 

 

Mild?

 

Is there such a thing?

[ChordGirl]

Mild? Is there such a thing?

 

 

That was my reaction, too. I'd rather play with someone who has a $100/day coke habit than anyone who's into heroin at all. YMMV

[wades_keys]

That was my reaction, too. I'd rather play with someone who has a $100/day coke habit than anyone who's into heroin at all. YMMV

 

I couldn't deal with any hard drug habit around me. I don't like what they do to people's personalities and their lives.

[tim_7string]

Yeah, that's another biggie for me.

 

Drugs = I'm gone

[ChordGirl]

I don't like what they do to people's personalities and their lives.

 

 

I feel the same way. If you play music long enough, though, you do encounter those musicians, and sometimes you don't even know it until you're 6 months into the band.

[TrickyBoy]

I hate dead air, but dammit after 3 YEARS we still have it.

 

 

I'm really nervous about our next gig, which will be our first with our new drummer. I think we'll be fine, but I can see the "dead air" issue rearing it's ugly head. Because we do a lot of different arrangements of songs, I just see me needing to walk back to him and do the "Don't forget X, Y, and Z" before every song.

 

In the long run we'll be fine, but in the short term, it's going to totally grate on me.

[TrickyBoy]

Back to the OP, most everything I've hear would not be a reason for me to quit. Instead it would be a reason for me to replace someone. However, if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's apathy. I'd rather play with people who but heads from time to time because they are really passionate about what we're doing than work with people who just don't care.

I can work through things like being drunk at gigs, drugs, showing up late, etc. but I can't make you care.