Members vanlatte Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 I hate dead air, but dammit after 3 YEARS we still have it. . No kidding, every second feels like an eternity to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TIMKEYS Posted January 11, 2011 Members Share Posted January 11, 2011 Back to the OP, most everything I've hear would not be a reason for me to quit. Instead it would be a reason for me to replace someone. However, if there's one thing that I can't stand, it's apathy. I'd rather play with people who but heads from time to time because they are really passionate about what we're doing than work with people who just don't care.I can work through things like being drunk at gigs, drugs, showing up late, etc. but I can't make you care. Getting drunk at gigs is a prime example of being a guy that doesnt care. that would be a deal breaker for me and it would make the band not fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 Getting drunk at gigs is a prime example of being a guy that doesnt care. that would be a deal breaker for me and it would make the band not fun. What if it's your wife that is the one in the band that is getting drunk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 I wouldn't quit a band over the bad habits of another member--I'd simply replace that member. The only time I've ever quit bands is when the band has reached the obvious end-of-the-road musically/creatively or if I was clearly the odd-man-out as far as the direction of the band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well, it looks like the Diva may have killed her own band. When I joined, there were three gigs on the books. We did the first two, and we were talking about the third at the same Casino for the end of the month, and she said "gig? What gig?" So the keyboard player, drummer, sax player guitar player I replaced, and drummer all had it on their calendars, so of course I did too. We even talked about it this past weekend. So emails have been going back and forth among the band: is there a gig? I have it on my books. No, I don't think there is a gig. I'm not sure". Finally, I had enough and picked up the phone and called the agent myself. Turns out the agent offered her one weekend or the other, not both, but she though it was both and told everyone it was both. When she got the contract, she discovered it was only one weekend, but 'didn't know how to tell everyone' so decided to pretend she never said that. Unfortunately, three of the guys in the band including me) turned down other work to do the gig, so naturally there is some animosity. The keyboard guy wants to quit, as does the bass player. I thought about perhaps trying to help manage her, but they both have tried and failed. However, neither has managed a band before, so I can see where they failed, but after seeing her in action, don't know that I could do any better. Again, it's sad, really- it's hard to find a female singer with a good voice and good stage presence. The fact that she's a bit nuts and a loose cannon is going to ensure she never goes anywhere if she doesn't snap put of it. I'm not sure she can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TIMKEYS Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 What if it's your wife that is the one in the band that is getting drunk? I would not stay married to a drunk let alone play in a band with her. good enough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well, it looks like the Diva may have killed her own band. When I joined, there were three gigs on the books. We did the first two, and we were talking about the third at the same Casino for the end of the month, and she said "gig? What gig?" So the keyboard player, drummer, sax player guitar player I replaced, and drummer all had it on their calendars, so of course I did too. We even talked about it this past weekend. So emails have been going back and forth among the band: is there a gig? I have it on my books. No, I don't think there is a gig. I'm not sure". Finally, I had enough and picked up the phone and called the agent myself. Turns out the agent offered her one weekend or the other, not both, but she though it was both and told everyone it was both. When she got the contract, she discovered it was only one weekend, but 'didn't know how to tell everyone' so decided to pretend she never said that. Unfortunately, three of the guys in the band including me) turned down other work to do the gig, so naturally there is some animosity. The keyboard guy wants to quit, as does the bass player. I thought about perhaps trying to help manage her, but they both have tried and failed. However, neither has managed a band before, so I can see where they failed, but after seeing her in action, don't know that I could do any better. Again, it's sad, really- it's hard to find a female singer with a good voice and good stage presence. The fact that she's a bit nuts and a loose cannon is going to ensure she never goes anywhere if she doesn't snap put of it. I'm not sure she can. Yikes. Better to find out now rather than later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ForgetMeNacht Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 A band that has a couple and/or relatives that is set up to lead to a Fleetwood Mac like cluster{censored} is a major red flag for me to bail out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChordGirl Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 A band that has a couple and/or relatives that is set up to lead to a Fleetwood Mac like cluster{censored} is a major red flag for me to bail out. They were sure a productive cluster{censored}. :poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JoeDirt Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 Pat, it sounds to me like she (and I know who she is ) just needs to be the singer and nothing more. I know the band has her name and all but she should not be in charge of a single thing other than singing and entertaining. Things would go a lot smoother most likely but good luck convincing her of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ChordGirl Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 Well, it looks like the Diva may have killed her own band.......Again, it's sad, really- it's hard to find a female singer with a good voice and good stage presence. The fact that she's a bit nuts and a loose cannon is going to ensure she never goes anywhere if she doesn't snap put of it. I'm not sure she can. Sounds like it's about time for a great big reality check. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Elemenope Posted January 12, 2011 Members Share Posted January 12, 2011 1. No fun2. Hard drugs3. Fear of Violence4. No call no shows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rocket888 Posted January 13, 2011 Members Share Posted January 13, 2011 Well, it looks like the Diva may have killed her own band. When I joined, there were three gigs on the books. We did the first two, and we were talking about the third at the same Casino for the end of the month, and she said "gig? What gig?" So the keyboard player, drummer, sax player guitar player I replaced, and drummer all had it on their calendars, so of course I did too. We even talked about it this past weekend. So emails have been going back and forth among the band: is there a gig? I have it on my books. No, I don't think there is a gig. I'm not sure". Finally, I had enough and picked up the phone and called the agent myself. Turns out the agent offered her one weekend or the other, not both, but she though it was both and told everyone it was both. When she got the contract, she discovered it was only one weekend, but 'didn't know how to tell everyone' so decided to pretend she never said that. Unfortunately, three of the guys in the band including me) turned down other work to do the gig, so naturally there is some animosity. The keyboard guy wants to quit, as does the bass player. I thought about perhaps trying to help manage her, but they both have tried and failed. However, neither has managed a band before, so I can see where they failed, but after seeing her in action, don't know that I could do any better. Again, it's sad, really- it's hard to find a female singer with a good voice and good stage presence. The fact that she's a bit nuts and a loose cannon is going to ensure she never goes anywhere if she doesn't snap put of it. I'm not sure she can. 1. How old is she? 2. Before you quit, or carry on with her, do you think it would help, even in the tiniest amount, for her to read a printout of this thread?, at least starting w/ your first post about her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted January 13, 2011 Members Share Posted January 13, 2011 Pat, it sounds to me like she (and I know who she is ) just needs to be the singer and nothing more. I know the band has her name and all but she should not be in charge of a single thing other than singing and entertaining. Things would go a lot smoother most likely but good luck convincing her of that. Wanna trade? K is a likeable gal most of the time, and doesn't mean anything bad, but she is just so....out there sometimes. She's going out of town but when she gets back I want to meet with her and tell her the stuff I've mentioned here and been venting about, and tell her that if she wants me to stay, she has to commit to letting me manage the band. I did pretty good with mine, and I think I could do well for her if she'd stay out of her own way and let me handle it. If not, well.. I still have my own thing going with my band, another band and a solo deal, so it's not like I won't be working without her. 1. How old is she? Nearly 40. 2. Before you quit, or carry on with her, do you think it would help, even in the tiniest amount, for her to read a printout of this thread?, at least starting w/ your first post about her? I expect I'll find out soon enough! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted January 13, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 13, 2011 K is a likeable gal most of the time, and doesn't mean anything bad, but she is just so.... out there sometimes. She's going out of town but when she gets back I want to meet with her and tell her the stuff I've mentioned here and been venting about, and tell her that if she wants me to stay, she has to commit to letting me manage the band. I did pretty good with mine, and I think I could do well for her if she'd stay out of her own way and let me handle it. If not, well.. I still have my own thing going with my band, another band and a solo deal, so it's not like I won't be working without her... ...I expect I'll find out soon enough! The best of luck to you! Perhaps the situation can be saved, but at any rate, you will let her know exactly why you have been, in her words, "grumpy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted January 13, 2011 Members Share Posted January 13, 2011 Wanna trade? K is a likeable gal most of the time, and doesn't mean anything bad, but she is just so.... out there sometimes. You probably don't need to be told this but the whole situation with this woman looks like a dead end. From what you have posted it reminds me of the type of people I have cut out of my life for the very reasons you cite; some of them are actually decent, fun people to be around. And in some cases scary talented. But just so freaking aloof and out of touch with reality that everything involving them ends up getting shredded. From always being late to last minute changes to no shows....URG. Drives me batty. Just not worth the effort...but of course only you can decide how much effort you want to put into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stevesherbert Posted January 26, 2011 Members Share Posted January 26, 2011 That was my reaction, too. I'd rather play with someone who has a $100/day coke habit than anyone who's into heroin at all. YMMV a guy i worked with a few years back had kicked injecting it but still ate a small amount of it first thing in the morning. he's a great guy who keeps his problem under control, and i really commend him for his openness and his willingness to confront his problem. of course if he could quit 100% he would, but that's addiction for you. my point is that making blanket statements like 'i'd never play with someone into drugs' is pretty ironic considering most gigs take place in bars. for me, it's all about how you behave. a {censored}ty person isn't any less {censored}ty because they're straight-edge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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