How do you leave a band gracefully?

[Vito Corleone]

Yeah sure you type 120...just like copping the slowest three note Angus run you could find makes you a guitar player.

 

 

HowEVER fast you're typing you need to slow down. You STILL don't know the difference between "your" and "you're".

[Vito Corleone]

That's why I thought up the proposed "bassist becomes manager/soundman" "drummer doesn't sing anymore" "we get a lead vocalist/frontman" "I become only a guitarist" plan. I'd be willing to implement such a plan. But I know from working with these guys over this past year that they would not have agreed to it. As I said a couple of weeks ago, I'll give up a part of what makes me happy if they do the same. Telling me to give up something that makes me happy while they get to keep what makes THEM happy...you don't see that as unfair?

Where does this whole "I'll give up something ONLY if THEY do TOO!" thing come from. Seriously, man...that sounds like 3rd grade.

[tim_7string]

Where does this whole "I'll give up something ONLY if THEY do TOO!" thing come from. Seriously, man...that sounds like 3rd grade.

 

Perhaps that's why I didn't bother to implement it.

[Vito Corleone]

Perhaps that's why I didn't bother to implement it.

 

 

But yet you still think that's what would have been "fair"?

 

Like Wade said, you didn't even bother to talk to them about it, let alone "implement" it. Yet you keep coming back to it as what you believe would have been the fair solution and are pissed at them because you just know they wouldn't have gone along with it...

 

None of this would sound weird to you if you were reading it about somebody else?

[tim_7string]

But yet you still think that's what would have been "fair"? Like Wade said, you didn't even bother to talk to them about it, let alone "implement" it. Yet you keep coming back to it as what you believe would have been the fair solution and are pissed at them because you just know they wouldn't have gone along with it... None of this would sound weird to you if you were reading it about somebody else?

 

Look man, I talked to these guys for a year. In person, at practices, about a lot of things. Their answers to similar things showed me where their head was at. They might have surprised me with "Sure, I'll do that." And you're right, I will never know. But other stuff I have asked to try or wanted to pursue would often get shot down. And how do you really present that idea without pissing people off? "Hey, by the way, you suck on bass guitar. You already know this, so let's make you the manager/soundman instead, okay?"

 

I don't see it happening.

[Vito Corleone]

And how do you really present that idea without pissing people off?

 

 

You DON'T when it comes from a place of immature tit-for-tat. "I'll give up something if YOU do too!". That's the point.

[TIMKEYS]

Look man, I talked to these guys for a year. In person, at practices, about a lot of things. Their answers to similar things showed me where their head was at. They might have surprised me with "Sure, I'll do that." And you're right, I will never know. But other stuff I have asked to try or wanted to pursue would often get shot down. And how do you really present that idea without pissing people off? "Hey, by the way, you suck on bass guitar. You already know this, so let's make you the manager/soundman instead, okay?" I don't see it happening.

I just dont think this deal was gonna work. one of the reasons is that when I listen to your tracks ,, i really dont think you are quite ready to be singing lead and fronting a band. It takes a stronger singer to pull that deal off. I would guess your band wasnt any more happy with you than you were with them. I am not saying this to be an internet asshole ,, its basically what I got from listening to the stuff you have up. can you sing , yea you can carry a tune ,, are you front man material ,,, I think you got a ways to go before you can pull that off well. I think you are a good guy ,, but you are trying to move faster than things are actually going to happen. You wont attract top level players with where your vocals are now with you as the main lead singer.

[tim_7string]

You DON'T when it comes from a place of immature tit-for-tat. "I'll give up something if YOU do too!". That's the point.

 

Sorry, David. The fact of the matter was the bass player was not up to par.

 

Now...you are saying a frontman would have brought our band to the next level. Shouldn't the foundation be fixed before all of that?

 

Not letting the drummer sing is admittedly a bit snarky, but it's coming from a place where he (like you) thinks I should just be like him and let someone else handle the vocals, even though he loves to sing too. He appears to be flexible enough to go from singing 12 songs to not singing anyway, depending on the situation. I'm flexible to a point, but when I'm being the singer/guitarist and someone says "hey, you're not that strong of a vocalist..." but they suck on their instrument, I'm supposed to just ignore that, right?

 

After all of this back and forth, I'm conceding defeat. That you, Wade and everyone else is always right and I'm just being stubborn and I'm wrong.

 

I'm still going to be the lead singer in my own band and the band that is about to hire me, though.

[rangefinder]

 

Telling me to give up something that makes me happy while they get to keep what makes THEM happy...you don't see that as unfair?

 

 

Well, I'm not sure this whole discussion has led anywhere.

 

As I said way back when, NO, it's NOT "unfair" from any sort of objective perspective. It's not some kind of competition to see who can sacrifice the least for the band. If you can do something to help the band, that's all that matters.

 

It MAY or it MAY NOT be worth it to you. That's a completely separate issue. If it IS worth it to you, then you do it. If it's NOT worth it to you, then you don't do it. Why go searching for some weird sense of "fairness" or "unfairness", and make others "suffer" simply because you are?

 

Let's say your bandmates explicitly said "If you give $10 to that guy over there, you'll get back $100 next month" and you believe them. But to make sure, you post on this forum, and a bunch of people say "Yeah, we know that guy, he's legit, you'll get your $100." Why on earth would you care if your bandmates gave the guy $10 or not? You'd either do it or you wouldn't, depending on whether it was worth it to you. And if you DID care, would you agree to do it ONLY if they did it? How could it possibly matter? Maybe if you were worried about being scammed, you might, but that's not an issue here.

 

I'm not going to post any more in this thread, but it's 100% clear to me that you are egocentric. That doesn't mean "egomaniac". It's somewhere between that and "selfless". And who really cares. Most people ARE egocentric, and if that's part of the equation, nobody can tell you that you are right or wrong. But you can miss opportunities if you don't have the ability to separate out that part of yourself when appropriate.

[WTF1967]

I have been reading this thread and have read Tim's other threads and have the concluded the following:
1)He IS an egomaniac and will never be happy in any band that does not feature him as LEAD guitarist/Lead vocalist.
2)At this point, based on the videos I have seen he is only an adequate vocalist.
3)He did not leave his latest band "gracefully".
4)He definitely does not work well with others. He also refuses to really compromise. He says he does, but not really. This could be why he has been in so many bands.
5)Any criticism levied at him will result in a point by point rebuttal of why the poster is wrong and he is in fact right. This must make it great to be in a band with him.
6) I expect the same to happen to this post.
7)Tim, please text me your reply(fire me if you wish).

[tim_7string]

 

I just dont think this deal was gonna work. one of the reasons is that when I listen to your tracks ,, i really dont think you are quite ready to be singing lead and fronting a band. It takes a stronger singer to pull that deal off. I would guess your band wasnt any more happy with you than you were with them. I am not saying this to be an internet asshole ,, its basically what I got from listening to the stuff you have up. can you sing , yea you can carry a tune ,, are you front man material ,,, I think you got a ways to go before you can pull that off well. I think you are a good guy ,, but you are trying to move faster than things are actually going to happen. You wont attract top level players with where your vocals are now with you as the main lead singer.

 

 

I know what level I am at, Tim. I'm not so full of myself thinking that I deserve to have only the very best play behind me. I'm happy with a group of guys that are supportive, friendly and halfway decent on their instruments. These things were not always evident in that other band.

 

I write my songs for me. I record them for me. I will be playing them for me. If you think they aren't worth putting on the radio, you're probably right. I'm not trying to say they are. If I had that much faith in myself as a singer/frontman, I would have moved to LA or NYC when I was 20. I'm doing this for me now at the age of 40 (and started doing it when I was 31) for ME. Call it a vanity project if you want to. I'm not trying to be the next American Idol. I'm not trying to be anything other than ME. You guys find this so difficult to understand. I kind of feel sorry for you, actually.

[Vito Corleone]

Sorry, David. The fact of the matter was the bass player was not up to par. Now...you are saying a frontman would have brought our band to the next level. Shouldn't the foundation be fixed before all of that?

Good question. No I think you fix what you can when you can. As you know, band politics play a big role. With your band only being "meh", maybe it doesn't make sense to the drummer to replace his good friend/bass player. But if the band becomes better with a new front man now maybe not only does the bass player look like a bigger deficit, but you've likely got another guy in your corner that agrees with you. Sometimes these things are like playing chess. You can't always think "what will this move do for me today", but "what will it do a few months down the road?"

but when I'm being the singer/guitarist and someone says "hey, you're not that strong of a vocalist..." but they suck on their instrument , I'm supposed to just ignore that, right?

No but it's two different things. I've been in bands when you try to deal with one weakness only to have that guy say "oh yeah! well, what about him and him!" That doesn't get the BAND anywhere. Then it's just a big stupid Mexican standoff.

After all of this back and forth, I'm conceding defeat. That you, Wade and everyone else is always right and I'm just being stubborn and I'm wrong.

Well, I don't know about Wade and everybody else, but certainly I'M always right....

[tim_7string]

 

Well, I'm not sure this whole discussion has led anywhere. As I said way back when, NO, it's NOT "unfair" from any sort of objective perspective. It's not some kind of competition to see who can sacrifice the least for the band. If you can do something to help the band, that's all that matters. It MAY or it MAY NOT be worth it to you. That's a completely separate issue. If it IS worth it to you, then you do it. If it's NOT worth it to you, then you don't do it. Why go searching for some weird sense of "fairness" or "unfairness", and make others "suffer" simply because you are? Let's say your bandmates explicitly said "If you give $10 to that guy over there, you'll get back $100 next month" and you believe them. But to make sure, you post on this forum, and a bunch of people say "Yeah, we know that guy, he's legit, you'll get your $100." Why on earth would you care if your bandmates gave the guy $10 or not? You'd either do it or you wouldn't, depending on whether it was worth it to you. And if you DID care, would you agree to do it ONLY if they did it? How could it possibly matter? Maybe if you were worried about being scammed, you might, but that's not an issue here. I'm not going to post any more in this thread, but it's 100% clear to me that you are egocentric. That doesn't mean "egomaniac". It's somewhere between that and "selfless". And who really cares. Most people ARE egocentric, and if that's part of the equation, nobody can tell you that you are right or wrong. But you can miss opportunities if you don't have the ability to separate out that part of yourself when appropriate.

 

 

This is a great point. Your "let's say your bandmates" scenario is hypothetical. It's hypothetical to think we would have actually FOUND a frontman (or frontwoman). It's hypothetical to think what would have happened if we had stuck with them. But that very ego from that frontman/frontwoman was the very thing they didn't WANT in their band. Surprised?

 

Let me explain something that might shed some better light on the subject about these guys.

 

They advertised for a singer/guitarist. They found one from the Air Force Base. I called back then to see if they were still looking for a singer/guitarist. They said no, we found someone we've been playing with for two weeks already. I told them to give me a call if it didn't work out. They didn't.

 

Months go by. When I hire the same guys to back me, I discover that the guy and them only lasted a month. He was irritated by the way they would {censored} around on their instruments (making noise) instead of actually working on songs. He only wanted to play alternative rock songs (which is what they advertised on the flyer, an alternative rock band), then they got pissed at him because he didn't want to do anything else. WELL THAT WAS WHAT YOU ADVERTISED FOR!

 

Then they said a bass player/vocalist I sometimes play with in the band I left in 2009 wanted to apply for the job. They were interested and had fun, until the drummer suggested they have a chick frontwoman and he just play guitar. Keep in mind their ad specified "singer/guitarist." With me so far? Okay...anyway, he said, "Oh no, *I* am going to be the singer and sing all the songs if I'm in the band." They didn't like this at all and dropped him (this is all from what they told me).

 

So, I already knew going in what kind of stuff was going on. They didn't WANT someone who thought of himself as 'the star' of the band. They wanted someone who was a 'team player' where everyone was equal. Well, then why advertise for a singer/guitarist? Just advertise for a guitarist that can sing a bit and that you're REALLY looking for a frontman/frontwoman. They were trying to change THREE people from what they advertised for into something they weren't.

 

THAT is what I find offensive. That is what, apparently, makes me an immature asshole. I've been doing the singer/guitarist thing for a long time. It isn't something I just got up to do a year and a half ago. But because I haven't consistently been doing it on every single band over the past 17 years means I get out of practice from it. I've decided I'm not going to change my roles anymore. No more bassist/keyboardist. No more lead guitarist in a country band. No more drums...oh wait, haven't done that in ages...never mind. But you get the point. This is the role I am sticking with. This is the role I have been doing for years. This is home for me. Sorry if others don't like it. I'm still going to do it.

[tim_7string]

I have been reading this thread and have read Tim's other threads and have the concluded the following: 1)He IS an egomaniac and will never be happy in any band that does not feature him as LEAD guitarist/Lead vocalist. 2)At this point, based on the videos I have seen he is only an adequate vocalist. 3)He did not leave his latest band "gracefully". 4)He definitely does not work well with others. He also refuses to really compromise. He says he does, but not really. This could be why he has been in so many bands. 5)Any criticism levied at him will result in a point by point rebuttal of why the poster is wrong and he is in fact right. This must make it great to be in a band with him. 6) I expect the same to happen to this post. 7)Tim, please text me your reply(fire me if you wish).

 

Well, I'm glad the thread could stay open long enough for you to keep posting here then.

[TIMKEYS]

I know what level I am at, Tim. I'm not so full of myself thinking that I deserve to have only the very best play behind me. I'm happy with a group of guys that are supportive, friendly and halfway decent on their instruments. These things were not always evident in that other band. I write my songs for me. I record them for me. I will be playing them for me. If you think they aren't worth putting on the radio, you're probably right. I'm not trying to say they are. If I had that much faith in myself as a singer/frontman, I would have moved to LA or NYC when I was 20. I'm doing this for me now at the age of 40 (and started doing it when I was 31) for ME. Call it a vanity project if you want to. I'm not trying to be the next American Idol. I'm not trying to be anything other than ME. You guys find this so difficult to understand. I kind of feel sorry for you, actually.

 

 

There are alot of I 's and Me's in your post. I hope you can find some guys to work with that will support what you are doing. hope it all works out.

[Vito Corleone]

You guys find this so difficult to understand. I kind of feel sorry for you, actually.

 

 

You're missing the point of what everyone here is trying to tell you and are doing so out of a sense of respect and support.

 

I feel sorry for YOU because you've spent the last 10 years bumping around from band to band trying to find guys willing to support your dream of being a frontman and getting frustrated when it doesn't work out for a variety of reasons. But you don't offer anybody anything to get behind. THAT'S why these projects don't work out. And why they never will except, maybe, at a very low level working with weak players and THAT isn't going to satisfy you either.

 

I wish you the best of luck. I really do. But I gotta say, I think you'll be back here in a few months with a similar "band didn't work out" story.

 

But good luck. I seriously mean that.

 

Out.

[tim_7string]

 

There are alot of I 's and Me's in your post. I hope you can find some guys to work with that will support what you are doing. hope it all works out.

 

 

Being selfless in bands is something that....I.....have done for others all......my....life. Now all of a sudden when.....I.....want to strike out on......my......own with......my.....own project, it's seen as a bad thing.

 

Whatever, man. I'm not trying to compete with your SPI frontman, nor compete with guido61's frontwoman. You guys are happy in your environments. You're not me. We'll all agree to disagree. Yay.

[modulusman]

I have been reading this thread and have read Tim's other threads and have the concluded the following: 1)He IS an egomaniac and will never be happy in any band that does not feature him as LEAD guitarist/Lead vocalist. 2)At this point, based on the videos I have seen he is only an adequate vocalist. 3)He did not leave his latest band "gracefully". 4)He definitely does not work well with others. He also refuses to really compromise. He says he does, but not really. This could be why he has been in so many bands. 5)Any criticism levied at him will result in a point by point rebuttal of why the poster is wrong and he is in fact right. This must make it great to be in a band with him. 6) I expect the same to happen to this post. 7)Tim, please text me your reply(fire me if you wish ).

[tim_7string]

 

You're missing the point of what everyone here is trying to tell you and are doing so out of a sense of respect and support. I feel sorry for YOU because you've spent the last 10 years bumping around from band to band trying to find guys willing to support your dream of being a frontman and getting frustrated when it doesn't work out for a variety of reasons. But you don't offer anybody anything to get behind. THAT'S why these projects don't work out. And why they never will except, maybe, at a very low level working with weak players and THAT isn't going to satisfy you either. I wish you the best of luck. I really do. But I gotta say, I think you'll be back here in a few months with a similar "band didn't work out" story. But good luck. I seriously mean that. Out.

 

 

I haven't spent 10 years bumping around in bands trying to find guys to support me as a frontperson. I was the frontperson in my 2001-2002 band. Played fill-ins for a friend's band in 2001, 2003 and 2007 on keyboards and guitar. Played bass guitar and keys in a couple of country bands in 2005-2006 for two bands that were named after the main singer. I considered that time in those two bands as market research, even though it was country music and they both evoked an earlier time with their approach. Took a slight break, then decided to be the lead guitarist in one of the country bands I quit. Finally quit and went back to being a "frontman" (although apparently a very poor one).

 

Now, if I had spent all those years developing my skills as a frontman, this thread probably would be a lot smaller or wouldn't even exist. My problem is that I have all kinds of ideas and want to pursue them all, rather than sticking with one and making that one the best. I've settled on being the singer/guitarist. If that means I play dives as a singer/guitarist, but I could play stadiums as the 3rd keyboardist/guitarist in a 16 piece band backing the next Hannah Montana type, I'll take dives doing what *I* want to do every time.

 

Doing the job ITSELF is what makes me happy, not having the best band in the world or having the greatest frontman in the world (which wouldn't be me, obviously) or any of that. It isn't what drives me.

[Vito Corleone]

OK, I know I said "out" BUT...I just gotta say...

I I'll take dives doing what *I* want to do every time.

I don't think you're an "egomaniac", but you've said *I* with emphasis on *I* about 1,000 times in this thread. Who does that and where does that even COME from?

Doing the job ITSELF is what makes me happy,.

When have you been happy doing this job?

[tim_7string]

OK, I know I said "out" BUT...I just gotta say... I don't think you're an "egomaniac", but you've said *I* with emphasis on *I* about 1,000 times in this thread. Who does that and where does that even COME from?

 

It comes from a whole bunch of musicians who have their own narrow-minded ideas about what a frontman should or should not be that keep telling me that I am wrong. I can only speak for myself so I'm going to refer *to* myself and *my* experiences.

 

The point of the repetitive "I" and "me" is that my focus isn't on some greater goal of making the crowd the party (like your band). That's an extroverted, YOU are the star (now pay us big bucks for complimenting you) way of doing business. Nothing wrong with that. It is what it is.

 

Instead, it's that the focus is on what *I* do. That is the appeal for people I play for. Sound delusional? I should play you some of the live recordings we've done. On one of them, a woman (a complete stranger) came up to my wife (who was recording us) and said, "Tell him that he's great!" My wife is used to hearing that kind of response from people.

 

Those people are the reason I sing and play guitar, why I 'front' the band. They are the reason I still do this. If the overall response was "meh" or "let the drummer sing!" or "you guys really need a singer, cuz none of you can sing very well" from the audience and bar owners, I would agree and comply. But that isn't what they are saying. Not sure why this is so difficult of a concept for you to understand. Really.

 

When have you been happy doing this job?

 

All the time, David. There are moments all the time when I am happy. I am happiest onstage when the band is groovin', the dance floor is full, people keep coming in and people are loving the songs we are doing and the way I sing the song.

 

At the end of the day, it's just easier to bitch about the negative things rather than focus on the positive. Kind of like this thread.

 

Another point:

 

If I listened to what everyone ever told me what to do, I doubt I would have ever picked up an instrument or bothered to learn how to sing. Sometimes you gotta trust your own instincts and the path you've chosen for yourself.

[Vito Corleone]

It comes from a whole bunch of musicians who have their own narrow-minded ideas about what a frontman should or should not be that keep telling me that I am wrong. I can only speak for myself so I'm going to refer *to* myself and *my* experiences. The point of the repetitive "I" and "me" is that my focus isn't on some greater goal of making the crowd the party (like your band). That's an extroverted, YOU are the star (now pay us big bucks for complimenting you) way of doing business. Nothing wrong with that. It is what it is. Instead, it's that the focus is on what *I* do. That is the appeal for people I play for. Sound delusional? I should play you some of the live recordings we've done. On one of them, a woman (a complete stranger) came up to my wife (who was recording us) and said, "Tell him that he's great!" My wife is used to hearing that kind of response from people. Those people are the reason I sing and play guitar, why I 'front' the band. They are the reason I still do this. If the overall response was "meh" or "let the drummer sing!" or "you guys really need a singer, cuz none of you can sing very well" from the audience and bar owners, I would agree and comply. But that isn't what they are saying. Not sure why this is so difficult of a concept for you to understand. Really.

 

 

What's not to understand? If I had a dime for every random bar patron that said "you're great!" to me over the last 35 years, I'd be a rich man. But I've never let that go to my head to any great proportion and convince myself that *I* was the reason people were there or that *I* am the appeal to the people I play for or that *I* am the focus of what *I* do. Or that *I* need a "namesake" band because that's the only way that *I* will be able to have the control *I* need to get *my* vision out there to *my* fans who think *I* am so great. I play in a BAND. It's called a BAND for a reason. If *I* get a compliment, all they are REALLY saying is they like the BAND (whether they know it or not) because I'd be {censored} without everybody else around *ME* helping *ME* sound good.

 

And it's good I know my place there because The Guido61/David Project would be a complete fail. I just ain't got the goods to pull that off.

 

And in all seriousness and objective frankness, I don't think you're a better a singer/player/frontman than I am. But I get girls coming up to me after every show telling me I'm great. (Well, I did 20 years ago...now I just get the grandmas....)

 

Like someone else said, I don't think you're an egomanic--that's something else altogether. But egocentric? To a degree it's probably holding you back in the long run? Yeah, I think maybe so.

[tim_7string]

And it's good I know my place there because The Guido61/David Project would be a complete fail. I just ain't got the goods to pull that off. And in all seriousness and objective frankness, I don't think you're a better a singer/player/frontman than I am. But I get girls coming up to me after every show telling me I'm great. (Well, I did 20 years ago...now I just get the grandmas....)

 

Well, believe what you want to believe and I'll do likewise. Cool?

[tim_7string]

 

What's not to understand? If I had a dime for every random bar patron that said "you're great!" to me over the last 35 years, I'd be a rich man. But I've never let that go to my head to any great proportion and convince myself that *I* was the reason people were there or that *I* am the appeal to the people I play for or that *I* am the focus of what *I* do. Or that *I* need a "namesake" band because that's the only way that *I* will be able to have the control *I* need to get *my* vision out there to *my* fans who think *I* am so great. I play in a BAND. It's called a BAND for a reason. If *I* get a compliment, all they are REALLY saying is they like the BAND (whether they know it or not) because I'd be {censored} without everybody else around *ME* helping *ME* sound good.

 

 

When you see bands that you were in and how successful they were with you and bands after you left and how they were not quite as successful...I mean, have you been in that situation? Could you see the before and after effects?

 

I was never one to say the band is all about me. Me, me, me! I was always "let's do this for the good of the band." I never acted like it was all about what I wanted. I just wanted the band to sound good. Yet, I noticed consistently that a band would have more popularity when I was in it and less when I left. Coincidence? Over and over? No, I don't think so.

 

I'm a good musician. I will never say I'm great, because I'm not. My talent is feel and being able to make THE BAND sound great. That was always my talent and always will be my talent. I can make ANY band sound better. Am I the best guitarist? No. Best singer? No. Best keyboardist or bassist even? No and no. But I can make them sound better. I'm like BASF that way: we don't make things, we make them better.

 

If you think that's ego, oh well. It's the truth. But I'm not saying I'm the only important member in a band either. But I *am* important.

 

Good night, man. Happy arguing.

[Vito Corleone]

When you see bands that you were in and how successful they were with you and bands after you left and how they were not quite as successful...I mean, have you been in that situation? Could you see the before and after effects?

What does that matter? I've left bands that did just fine without me and bands that broke up or did poorly after I left. So what? That means nothing. Every situation is different. Sometimes the bands didn't do good after I left because they had a hard time finding another keyboard player, and/or sometimes it's just because the situation wasn't that great anyway and I was just the first to bail. It's no reflection either way on how great *I* was. And other bands replaced me and went on just fine. And that was no real reflection on me either.

 

Again, all the focus is on *you*---how well did they do after *I* left? Who cares? What's the difference? Maybe they'd have done just as bad if you stayed. Who knows? You seem to spend a lot of time imagining what other people are doing and thinking when you're not around. That's probably not healthy.

 

 

I was never one to say the band is all about me. Me, me, me! I was always "let's do this for the good of the band." I never acted like it was all about what I wanted. I just wanted the band to sound good.

Well, except for this last band where it was "I do what *I* do or else I'm outta here..." But yeah, other than that, I guess maybe you were always just in it for the band...

 

 

Yet, I noticed consistently that a band would have more popularity when I was in it and less when I left. Coincidence? Over and over? No, I don't think so.

What I've noticed is that you've been through probably twice as many bands in 10 years as I've been through in 35. Coincidence? You've either had one of the worst runs of bad luck I've ever seen or you've got really poor instincts when it comes to choosing other people to play with. Yet you say "sometimes you just gotta go with your instincts"?? Hmmmm and hmmmm....

 

 

I'm a good musician. I will never say I'm great, because I'm not. My talent is feel and being able to make THE BAND sound great. That was always my talent and always will be my talent. I can make ANY band sound better. Am I the best guitarist? No. Best singer? No. Best keyboardist or bassist even? No and no. But I can make them sound better. I'm like BASF that way: we don't make things, we make them better.

Up and until somebody asks you to sacrifice for the whole of the group and then it's "I do what *I* do whether everybody else agrees that it's better or not..."

 

The problem is you say one thing, but then you say something the complete opposite a post or two later. Seriously, anyone who was as magnanimous about being "all for the band" would NEVER say anything CLOSE to all that silly "I do what *I* do" nonsense. And anyone who DOES talk like that better have some SERIOUS goods---FAR beyond "I'm like BASF"---to back them up.

 

 

If you think that's ego, oh well. It's the truth. But I'm not saying I'm the only important member in a band either. But I *am* important.

Of COURSE you are. I'm important to my band. So is Wade and Jason and Grant and everybody on this forum who plays in a band. We ALL are.

 

But "Namesake" band....PLEASE....I never even HEARD that term until you brought it up. Yet it seems that's been running through your head for years as something you just 'gotta do'! Do you see ANYBODY here running around with that sort of self-import about themselves? Pat's the only one here with a "namesake" band and he put a LOT behind getting to that point. Guys at that point are the ones who, when the word goes out that they are putting together a new band, all sorts of people want to be a part of it because they know that his NAME alone will get gigs and draw people that they could never do otherwise. Namesake bands are created because somebody's NAME is ,itself, a draw and a selling point. It takes a lot to build to that point. You don't start out with the name and then build the following later! Who does that? That's crazy.

 

Take a step back. Chill. You're a nice guy. And a solid guitarist. And a decent vocalist. But you ain't all *that*.