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My Hunch With Jill


Ernest Buckley

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I knew at that moment that Jill -- a mime -- would never have screamed anything, much less a family-game euphemism for five dice of the same number. Was she really a mime... a... Spiccoli???

 

Pink Floyd's "Run Like Hell" played as the soundtrack in my mind. Rented testicles, mimes, porch couches, the Mob, Blistex... it all seemed to add up like a triple integral in advanced calculus. I knew I had to somehow extract myself from this situation and put this sad story down like a horse with a broken leg. If only there were one word that I could use to wrap up this entire event like a smelly fish...

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As the incantation is uttered one more time we all slip through a wormhole and end up in a parallel universe where things SEEM to look the same but somehow............

 

 

everything was different. All I could remember was being shaken. And I heard that Pink Floyd tune again. My first moment of consciousness was smelling wine and mint mouthwash. I could barely open my eyes but when I did, my best friend Craig, a former EMT, now turned audio extraordinaire was hovering over me putting his fake teeth back in his mouth and smiling.

 

I later found out they fell out while he was giving me mouth to mouth resuscitation. The guy saved my life. My friends at the party said I noticed a stunning girl across the room and after a few drinks, got the nerve to approach her but when I got about half way to her, a drink that was spelt earlier in the evening and never got cleaned up took me for a ride. I banged my head hard and apparently the olive in my drink got stuck in my throat. Thats when I blanked out.

 

Later that night on my way back home, while Craig dropped me off, I thanked him for saving my life and then he said, "Welcome back! Oh, and by the way, that hot brood you were walking to when you slipped had to run but she gave me this and said I should give it to you, you would understand?"

 

Craig gave me an envelop with my name on it and as I opened it, there it was, a tube of Blistex, a phone number and a little note... `Thanks for the Blistex`... signed Jill XOXO.

 

I couldn`t believe it. Wasn`t it all a dream? By the time I turned around to ask Craig what this was all about he was turning his MIME plated Camaro at the corner and blasting that Pink Floyd tune... as he drove off, I heard the singer fade off...

 

"What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here."

 

 

THE END

 

 

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