Members Beck Posted September 24, 2010 Members Share Posted September 24, 2010 ...nother geeky nerd with a boner stuck to the floor. It had been more than 4 hours since I got stuck. I remembered the warning on the TV commercial for the adhesive/aphrodisiac coating. OMG! Must... call... 9... 1... 1... now if I could just reach my drum machine I could program a Lakota distress pattern and be rescued by... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lukenskywalker Posted September 24, 2010 Members Share Posted September 24, 2010 ...nother geeky nerd with a boner stuck to the floor. It had been more than 4 hours since I got stuck. I remembered the warning on the TV commercial for the adhesive/aphrodisiac coating. OMG! Must... call... 9... 1... 1... now if I could just reach my drum machine I could program a Lakota distress pattern and be rescued by... The Lakota kids from St. Josephs Indian School in Chamerlain, SD After all, I do send a donation several times a year, and they send me back Dream Catchers and blankets made in China....It's worth a try....I would surely be thankful, my Boner is pulsing like a war drum....Let me see now, I think I remember how to say 'God Bless you' in Lakota....it's here somewhere on the calendar they sent me....yeah, yeah, here it is 'Wakan Tanka Kici Un.... I think I hear someone approaching....Oh {censored}!,,,, It's those pesky..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Beck Posted September 25, 2010 Members Share Posted September 25, 2010 ...agents from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service here to arrest me for those eagle feathers in my Lakota dream catchers made in China. And Jill is with them disguised with a ZZ Top beard and pushing a pretzel cart. I only wish the beard was fake because I would really like to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bookumdano2 Posted September 26, 2010 Members Share Posted September 26, 2010 ... understand canned cotton candy. I still don't get why if I invent it, no one will buy it. Same thing happened with three or four other inventions I've not invented. How am I supposed to ever get anything done if I know nothing will work. I asked Jill this very question the first time I saw her across the room. I'll never forget the look in her eyes as she replied , "do I know you?" Months later, it would dawn on me that what she really meant was .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 26, 2010 Members Share Posted September 26, 2010 ..."Tipard Total Media Converter can rip DVD to common video formats such as mp4, H.264, wmv, swf, mov, flv, avi, 3gp, mkv and convert video among mkv, mp4, avi, mov, wmv, flv, vob, swf, m4v etc.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bookumdano2 Posted September 26, 2010 Members Share Posted September 26, 2010 ... that's it... that's it ... convert everybody and everything to something else. Now, all I needed was something that would do batch conversions into .spcoli type files ... or .. maybe ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ernest Buckley Posted September 27, 2010 Author Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 damn, my head was pounding... all this thinking about conversion and Jill converting from a he to a she... I found myself confused again, and hearing that Pink Floyd tune somewhere in the back of my head... dammit... I had a thought... while Jill slept later, I would leave this wreck and head back home. Forget the Blistex! What was the point of this entire adventure? Falling in love with someone because our eyes met across a crowded room? Then escaping barely with my life from a spray of bullets and then meeting up with that other fox... a night in a brothel... lots of people and places I really shouldn`t be acquainted with. I decided right there and then to bail. As Jill slept, I quietly gathered what I had, it wasn`t much at this point but still. I grabbed my phone, wallet and keys and belted my pants. I took a shot of Jim Beam to soften the nerves and looked at the window as two black SUVs pulled up downstairs at the front door. The doors opened and out came flying a Russian SWAT team. Where the hell are we? I couldn`t remember for the life of me where I was anymore and who were these people. The room began to spin and as I circled around, Jill was sitting up in bed and her voice said in a slow and low tone "Gayyyyyymes uuhhhhp maayte." The last thing I remembered was falling to the floor thinking about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John Bartus Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 ...conversion. It was all there right before my eyes all the time, but I was too blind to see. Jill: converted into a man. The AES show: converted from a mime convention. And the Spiccolis were the strangest conversion of all: what was now a family of silent grease paint-wearing mimes used to be the Delta-Sigma chapter of Toastmasters International. They used to win major awards for public speaking until they were silenced -- literally -- by the Mob. Chapter 5 - The Blistex, the Pit Bull, and Miss South Carolina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 Reeling from the still-recognizable scent of chloroform in my nostrils, and Blistex on my lips, I came to in a ramshackle wooden hut, in Bolivia - splayed naked and tied to the bedposts with banana tree bark, while an 18-year old prostitute cooked some eggs on a rusty stove. She laughed at my predicament, and then told me, in fractured English... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ernest Buckley Posted September 27, 2010 Author Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 "Here, take this. It will someday save your life... or destroy it." She laughed for a full minute and then calmly said, "Please tell me you have the..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 ...Blu-Ray backups of your latest DAW project - this dongle I am about to give you will unlock the master files of... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lonotes Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 Chiun Liu Huong, master of the ancient art of Gu Fi. It is a well known secret that Chiun Liu had been keeping a journal regarding the migratory habits of swallows for years. He was also known for his work in determining the aerodynamic qualities of coconuts. The information contained in these file have the potential to completely blow the lid off of... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bookumdano2 Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 ...Pink Floyd. Here, I'll show you a bit of page 6 ... nevermind, that's for coconut soup. Here, page 7 of the journal ... "all and all, it was Spicolli who put a brick in the wall". Written in 1866. Two full years before the members of Pink Floyd were even born. When you decipher the rest, you might even find that ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 27, 2010 Members Share Posted September 27, 2010 ...you are missing a testicle. This would not ordinarily be a problem, except for the fact that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members timrocker Posted September 28, 2010 Members Share Posted September 28, 2010 the missing testicle could turn up anywhere, anytime, and wreak more havoc than has been seen since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RockViolin Posted September 28, 2010 Members Share Posted September 28, 2010 Janet Jackson's nipple. Plus, it was the only one that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lonotes Posted September 28, 2010 Members Share Posted September 28, 2010 had ever been to Palm Springs. This one wasn't original equipment. It was a rental. I was only using it while the original one was in the shop for repairs , and also some optional upgrades. I was adding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bookumdano2 Posted September 29, 2010 Members Share Posted September 29, 2010 ... a windows 98 cd I scored from Cycl-Op. I really like those guys. Now I could mix from Jackie's porch. Sometimes though, I wish that couches weren't designed for editing. It would be way better if .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nice keetee Posted September 29, 2010 Members Share Posted September 29, 2010 ...Jill could be here to take this all in, we had shared a lifetime in that lingering moment before the Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lonotes Posted September 29, 2010 Members Share Posted September 29, 2010 man from Rent-A-Nut came to collect the rental. I would have really liked one more go around with that thing. It was the sleek new TSTE 9000. It had built in surround sound, an HD camera, and BlueTooth, and a lot more. Although my own original unit was being upgraded, it won't approach the comfort, style and capability of the TSTE 9000. One of the features that I'll miss most is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 29, 2010 Members Share Posted September 29, 2010 ...the aerosol cheese nozzle, Jill always loved to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nice keetee Posted September 29, 2010 Members Share Posted September 29, 2010 tease me before she said ...we love each other but we need to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cooterbrown Posted September 30, 2010 Members Share Posted September 30, 2010 ...end this story, quickly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lonotes Posted October 1, 2010 Members Share Posted October 1, 2010 And with that, she put on her striped shirt, her beret, and greasepaint. I haven't heard a word from her since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bookumdano2 Posted October 1, 2010 Members Share Posted October 1, 2010 ... until later that afternoon when she called me to come over to see the new battery-powered head scratcher she bought on Ebay. She told me she paid $124 and I said "WHAT?'. She swung around and screamed ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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