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Vocal Auditions suck, were's Simon when you need him!


MikeScalf

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Our band has been auditioning lead vocalists for a few weeks now.

 

Some have been OK, some have been :facepalm:

 

This process has made me wonder some things about people.

 

1. If a band is advertising a rock cover band seeking Lead Voclaist/Frontman, and gives examples of bands like "The Cult, Seether, Fastball, Marshall Tucker, ZZ Top, Oasis, U2, Tom Petty, Green Day, Neil Young"

 

Why would you even come to audition if you sound like a Randy Tavis Wannabe?

 

Or they're the perfect person to front a Southern Rock cover band, but we only cover two southern rock songs, so that might also be a problem. YOU THINK!?

 

2. If your coming to audition and there is a current memeber (me) who starts to sing a song to help you get back in time with your vocals, don't say "You can sing that one" after the song is over.

If I wanted to or could sing lead, why would we need you?:confused:

 

3. If your coming to audition and you were sent a emial with a list of 10 songs that you will be singing, take the hint, you might want to actually spend some time LEARNING HOW TO FRIGGIN SING THEM!!!!!

 

People showing up completely unprepared drives me insane!!!:mad:

 

4. If your auditioning for a Lead vocalist position, here's another tip...

Bring your own friggin' mic! I don't want you spitting all over one of mine!

 

Really, are people this stupid or clueless??? :eek:

 

Thankfully I think we found our guy now, but man it was a month of Hell to find him! :eek:

 

Hey, at least we didn't have any of those "Cookie Monster" singers try and show up. :poke:

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Yes and yes.


Most of us have those same stories...I know I do.

Including the guy the wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
:freak:

 

To top all that off it would make me nervous to have some of these low end critter people know where the band's practice space is at.

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To top all that off it would make me nervous to have some of these low end critter people know where the band's practice space is at.

 

 

I've seen some folks that rent out a practice space for a few hours for that reason.

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I can't help getting a "warm and fuzzy" when I read horror stories about bands looking for a vocalist. We must be one of the luckiest bands around simply because our experience during our recent vocalist search turned out to be the complete opposite.

 

We went the Craigslist route ... and braced ourselves to have weed through kids and karaoke queens. To our surprise - 5 of the roughly 20 responses we got were very "pro". Each of the "pro" responses came with a well written introduction email - as well as with pictures and either MP3's or Youtube or band website links to audio and video clips of the respondents.

 

It took us roughly a week to get through the process and get a new vocalist on board.

 

Methinks we were incredibly lucky!

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We had a guy show up and when it was his turn to sing he walked over and layed down under a train set table (we were holding the auditions in our bass player's basement) and sang the song. When it was over we asked him why he did that and he said, "I don't like people looking at me when I sing." :facepalm:

 

We had another guy ask if he could strip down to his underwear before he sang. :facepalm: :facepalm:

Needless to say we didn't let him sing a note.

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i think one of the reasons behind problem #1 is that you're not being specific enough re: the vocal style you're looking for. mentioning The Cult, Seether, Fastball, Marshall Tucker, ZZ Top, Oasis, U2, Tom Petty, Green Day, and Neil Young eliminates opera, rap, gregorian chant and screamo styles but not much else!

 

many neil young and tom petty songs have a country vibe to them. maybe you should specify 'neil young and crazy horse', 'tom petty and the heartbreakers' or 'neil young on the album ____' if you're looking for less twang and more rock.

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I, for one, would not have thought to bring a mic to an audition as a vocalist. And a +1 to the idea of listing songs instead of bands. Neil Young is hilariously unhelpful. A few years ago, there was a rash of groups listing "The Beatles" as an influence... should I bring my Rickenbacker or my sitar to the audition?

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And a +1 to the idea of listing
songs
instead of
bands
. Neil Young is hilariously unhelpful. A few years ago, there was a rash of groups listing "The Beatles" as an influence... should I bring my Rickenbacker or my sitar to the audition?

 

 

We included in the emails a request for them to bring their own mic. I had a $9 Nady mic that I got for free from Musician's Friend years ago. If they came without, they used it. I wasn't going to let anyone use one of my Beta's!

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We had 2 guys try out for lead vocals this weekend. One wasn't bad, and was prepared and even brought his own mic, printed all the lyrics, and tried a couple of songs he didn't know. OVerall, about 70% of what we wanted, which honestly is pretty good.

THe other guy, began rolling around the floor, swinging from my rafters in my basement, grabbing the mic stand and whirling it around, running from the bass player to me making faces. Seriously the weirdest in person event I've ever had to endure. Plus he smelled and looked like a railway hobo. After about 5 songs, he began asking me if I had any old log splitters, silverware, golf clubs, etc. because he makes a living going to yard sales and picking up stuff and then reselling it. He mentioned that we probably had "jobs and stuff". He didn't make it, despite probably being a better singer. Just the weirdest guy I've been near in a long time.

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Each of the "pro" responses came with a well written introduction email - as well as with pictures and either MP3's or Youtube or band website links to audio and video clips of the respondents.

 

 

I'm going through this process right now. It's such a huge pet peeve of mine when someone can't respond in a well thought out manner with simply things like punctuation, sentences, and paragraphs. After all, they are applying for a job, aren't they?

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I'm going through this process right now. It's such a huge pet peeve of mine when someone can't respond in a well thought out manner with simply things like punctuation, sentences, and paragraphs. After all, they are applying for a job, aren't they?

 

 

Well, you could always consider the remedy that HR reps take for that sort of thing.

 

"Looks like ass? Into the circular file it goes."

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did any of your rejects asked for some valium and downed a whole pint of Wild Turkey before singing? That's what happened to one female vocalist that was trying out did, obviously she didn't get the gig.

 

geez...

we had a guy come out, down a flask of scotch, snort coke in the driveway and smoke 2 joints. He couldn't sing worth a damn to begin with, got worse (ya think?) then just started screaming -- even started screaming at the drummer mid-song.:facepalm:

 

the guy was a total train wreck.

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Thankfully we haven't had it too bad. I weed out half the people over the phone. Be specific about what you want and band goals etc and let them talk to you and you can usually get a good feel. If the conversation is just a 2 minute "ya I like those bands" .... "ok kewl come over monday"...then yer prolly gunna have a lot of personality conflicts etc.

 

I'd rather play with a kewl, less talented singer who fit the band 100% versus a douchebag with a perfect voice. But that's just me. And that's what auditions are for.

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Our problem has always been getting them in the {censored}ing room. We've had so many that are all riled up to come in, then when the date comes, they flake. Sometimes they're considerate enough to actually let us know ahead of time. :thu:

 

Of course, most of these are people from craigslist, so...

 

Luckily our current guy is great. Only took a year to find him. :freak:

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I, for one, would not have thought to bring a mic to an audition as a vocalist...

 

 

I can't imagine scheduling myself into an audition without first having some discussion about what equipment I intend to bring. Nothing strange about bringing / not bringing a mic. Not thinking to ask what I need to bring - strange!

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Our problem has always been getting them in the {censored}ing room. We've had so many that are all riled up to come in, then when the date comes, they flake.
Sometimes
they're considerate enough to actually let us know ahead of time.
:thu:

 

Been there, done that, it blows my mind, I honestly don't know what is going through those idiots heads when they do that {censored}...it's funny cuz I got to the point where I could almost tell just from talking to them on the phone or via email if they were gonna pull that {censored}...

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Our problem has always been getting them in the {censored}ing room. We've had so many that are all riled up to come in, then when the date comes, they flake.
Sometimes
they're considerate enough to actually let us know ahead of time.
:thu:

Of course, most of these are people from craigslist, so...


Luckily our current guy is great. Only took a year to find him.
:freak:

 

 

That's cause at the time they are saying all their BS all that is going thru their head is "Man this is gonna be fun, I'm gonna be a rock star, get drunk and party on stage". The moment they realize that there will be actual work and commitment involved it doesn't interest them anymore.

 

I personally only had two experiences with trying out a singer. Both times the same guy, both times a no show, no call. My band just said {censored} it and now I pull double duty singing and playing lead. Wasn't worth the hassle to find someone who fit in.

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One time I had this guy get in an argument with me because he thought his sister would be a great singer for us because she was great at karaoke. When I said we need someone with band experience, he said it was the same thing and got all pissy about it. Uuhhh...yeah...

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I had a guy come and audition. He sucked badly. When we thanked him and told him we'd get in contact...

 

... he asked for gas money.

 

"Sorry man, we're all tapped. Can't help you."

 

At that point he got upset and started accusing us of taking advantage of him. Then he pointed out the second story window at a pregnant little hippy chick leaning up against a very old, beat station wagon (the one with the empty tank I presume).

 

Whew. He was hoping to get the gig and finally have that career to take care of his family. That worked. Here's 10. Have a good life and please try not to f%^& up your kid and turn him into a clueless hippy like yourself.

 

And I guess we'll let you know now.You didn't get the gig. "But really, good luck".

 

Tip: Don't bring your preg GF to auditions. Dont' ask for gas money. Don't suck so badly.

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We had another guy ask if he could strip down to his underwear before he sang.
:facepalm:
:facepalm:

Needless to say we didn't let him sing a note.

 

 

Actually that would have potential. Especially if he had skidmarks. You could bill yourselves as a band and Comedy routine.

 

:cop:

 

At least you guys are getting people to show up.

 

 

I had a singer who thought we were great, and he wanted to come and sing with us - until he found out the horrible news.

 

Our band room doesn't have air conditioning.

 

 

Wimp.

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