Your groupies stories. Here.

[way2fat]

Damn. Your last two sentences are where the story should be starting.

[brikus]

 

Originally posted by cooterbrown

That would be a really long post.

 

you can split in several posts...

[WonderMalcolm]

Originally posted by brikus


you can split in several posts...

I see what he's doing... he's saving the best for last.

[cooterbrown]

 

Originally posted by WonderMalcolm

I see what he's doing... he's saving the best for last.

 

Heh... I dunno...I am 38 now, and most of the wild stories happened at least eight years ago and before, although there was a nice little hedonistic, whoremongering relapse back in '02-'03, after my divorce.

Some of the fun and crazy situations I reminisce about seem unbelievable to me, now...I mean I am a big ol' fat married guy, with two kids, now.

Yet, the girls still flirt and talk to me (even if they are older than they used to be).

I guess they will always like "the boys in the band".

[Stonedtone]

 

Originally posted by Guitar Guru

I posted this when it happened last year, but I'll tell the tale one more time. Here's the short-short version.

Showed up to soundcheck. Sound guy brought his girlfriend and another female friend to the gig. This female friend was drunk already.

She thought we were some other band. But she kept professing her love for our music. During our set, she came on stage twice to "dance". Her first dance consisted of showing the crowd her bare ass.

Her second dance had her pulling her pants down to her ankles and rubbing her cooch on my picking hand in the middle of the song.

Don't believe me? View the video on our website......the link is below.

 

Yikes. So, what happened?

[FelixGrammer]

 

Originally posted by sister crowe

I don't know what it is, but sometimes it's really interesting trying to figure you guys out.

 

The answer to your question is: you're too good. A really beautiful and earnest woman is what you want for a real relationship. Apart from that, the chances to get such a woman into some crazy ass backstage show don't seem so good.

So I bet most of the guys just stick to the teethless crackwhores because they're easier to get and handle.*

Maybe you should do some little moves like wink at the guy or lick your lips or finger or whatever the {censored} you want to do to get the "ego boost" afterwards if some sweaty guy asks if you're into buffalo mozzarella.

* Maybe them fat but crazy girls also seem perform better blowjobs, you know... "in the park, dark, car, grass, likin nut suckin butt with the tongue up my {censored}in ass"

[matt greeno]

 

Originally posted by FelixGrammer

The answer to your question is: you're too good. A really beautiful and earnest woman is what you want for a real relationship. Apart from that, the chances to get such a woman into some crazy ass backstage show don't seem so good.

So I bet most of the guys just stick to the teethless crackwhores because they're easier to get and handle.*

Maybe you should do some little moves like wink at the guy or lick your lips or finger or whatever the {censored} you want to do to get the "ego boost" afterwards if some sweaty guy asks if you're into buffalo mozzarella.

* Maybe them fat but crazy girls also seem perform better blowjobs, you know... "in the park, dark, car, grass, likin nut suckin butt with the tongue up my {censored}in ass"

 

That's the best avatar ever

[Devius]

This will probably be the saddest groupie story you'll ever read:

I was coming home from a friend's house and I had my guitar with me as I'd been to band practice earlier that day.

So, I stand at this busstop waiting for my bus when these two thin rock-type girls, 16-17 or so, come over and say something to me. I go "Huh?" and take off my headphones. They ask me where I'm going. "To the centrum" I say. "Oh, what are you gonna do there?" "Just headin' home." Then the prettier girl tells me she saw my band earlier that month at a club where we really played earlier that month. Then they proceed to ask for my autograph which is very funny because we're an unknown band at this time. Well, trying to hold back the laughter I say sure, and then they give me the papers from their cigarette packs and a make up pen. I ask their names and give them my autographs.

Now, note that at this time I was madly in love with my then-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, and that at that time I was supposed to move in together with her. I'm not a cheater. Alas!

Anyway, as I give them back the make up pen and the autographs both girls reach into their pockets and show me two condoms. They say "These are getting old, could you help us?"

At that time my mind was screaming "This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me! I'm just a guitarist in an unknown rock-band!" while I had to politely decline the amazing offer, hopped on my bus and went home to my girlfriend.

Now I wish I'd just banged the hell out of these two girls. One was average-looking but slim, the other one was just plain hot even though they were so young. A week later I dumped my girlfriend and felt stupid for not helping these two poor lasses. Damn...

[geoffo]

 

Originally posted by Devius

This will probably be the saddest groupie story you'll ever read:

I was coming home from a friend's house and I had my guitar with me as I'd been to band practice earlier that day.

So, I stand at this busstop waiting for my bus when these two thin rock-type girls, 16-17 or so, come over and say something to me. I go "Huh?" and take off my headphones. They ask me where I'm going. "To the centrum" I say. "Oh, what are you gonna do there?" "Just headin' home." Then the prettier girl tells me she saw my band earlier that month at a club where we really played earlier that month. Then they proceed to ask for my autograph which is very funny because we're an unknown band at this time. Well, trying to hold back the laughter I say sure, and then they give me the papers from their cigarette packs and a make up pen. I ask their names and give them my autographs.

Now, note that at this time I was madly in love with my then-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, and that at that time I was supposed to move in together with her. I'm not a cheater. Alas!

Anyway, as I give them back the make up pen and the autographs both girls reach into their pockets and show me two condoms. They say "These are getting old, could you help us?"

At that time my mind was screaming "This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me! I'm just a guitarist in an unknown rock-band!" while I had to politely decline the amazing offer, hopped on my bus and went home to my girlfriend.

Now I wish I'd just banged the hell out of these two girls. One was average-looking but slim, the other one was just plain hot even though they were so young. A week later I dumped my girlfriend and felt stupid for not helping these two poor lasses. Damn...

 

DOH!!!!

[Devius]

Stuff like that always happens when I'm seriously dating someone.

Luckily a good friend of mine, a beautiful but desperately shy girl, said she'd like to try buddysex with me and that later on, if it was good, we'd look for another girl to join us.

By God I'll get my threesome with two girls! Or I'll die trying! {censored}!!!

[way2fat]

 

Originally posted by Devius

This will probably be the saddest groupie story you'll ever read:

I was coming home from a friend's house and I had my guitar with me as I'd been to band practice earlier that day.

So, I stand at this busstop waiting for my bus when these two thin rock-type girls, 16-17 or so, come over and say something to me. I go "Huh?" and take off my headphones. They ask me where I'm going. "To the centrum" I say. "Oh, what are you gonna do there?" "Just headin' home." Then the prettier girl tells me she saw my band earlier that month at a club where we really played earlier that month. Then they proceed to ask for my autograph which is very funny because we're an unknown band at this time. Well, trying to hold back the laughter I say sure, and then they give me the papers from their cigarette packs and a make up pen. I ask their names and give them my autographs.

Now, note that at this time I was madly in love with my then-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, and that at that time I was supposed to move in together with her. I'm not a cheater. Alas!

Anyway, as I give them back the make up pen and the autographs both girls reach into their pockets and show me two condoms. They say "These are getting old, could you help us?"

At that time my mind was screaming "This kind of stuff doesn't happen to me! I'm just a guitarist in an unknown rock-band!" while I had to politely decline the amazing offer, hopped on my bus and went home to my girlfriend.

Now I wish I'd just banged the hell out of these two girls. One was average-looking but slim, the other one was just plain hot even though they were so young. A week later I dumped my girlfriend and felt stupid for not helping these two poor lasses. Damn...

 

You know the old saying- A bush in the hand.......

[cooterbrown]

This is a worst/best gig, actually.

Playing in central Alabama at a small nightclub. The weather was horrible...raining cats and dogs, and tornado warnings around the area... but my stuff was already set up, as my band had played Fri and Sat, and the Sunday nights were just me, solo.

Exactly *four* half-drunken scruffs were there when I started to play.

About fifteen minutes into my first set, the cops come in and arrest one of the guys at the bar for domestic violence.

All three of his buddies leave with him, I guess to try to make his bail.

So, I stop playing and go to the bar. Now, me and this bartender (I'll call her Blondie) had always had sort of a playful tension between us, but she was married to an unpredictable asswipe, so we didn't go any further than just hugs and cheek-pecking.

Well, we sit at the bar for a bit, making small talk and staring at each other. The tension is starting to get really hot, so I go behind the bar to get some water, and as I do, she proceeds to squeeze my ass and goose me. I drop my glass, and she runs up into the closet where they kept the unopened liquor, her big eyes full of mischief.

I follow in behind her, and she grabs the back of my head and pulls it to hers and we make out for ...hell I don't really know how long, except I was wobbly-kneed from lack of oxygen.

I said to her "...what about your husband?", and she tells me that she is leaving him and had filed for divorce.

Game on.

She locks the doors and turns off the outside lights, and after some more face-sucking, I give her some extra credit homework while she is sitting on the bar ...then we commence to getting it on the edge of the pool table (front and backside).

We never became anything more than friends-with-benefits, but that first night was extremely hot.

She was the first of a few bartenders I wound up bonking, for whatever reason.

[Stash]

..

[Blackwatch]

 

Playing in central Alabama at a small nightclub. The weather was horrible...raining cats and dogs, and tornado warnings around the area... but my stuff was already set up, as my band had played Fri and Sat, and the Sunday nights were just me, solo.

Exactly *four* half-drunken scruffs were there when I started to play.

About fifteen minutes into my first set, the cops come in and arrest one of the guys at the bar for domestic violence.

All three of his buddies leave with him, I guess to try to make his bail.

So, I stop playing and go to the bar. Now, me and this bartender (I'll call her Blondie) had always had sort of a playful tension between us, but she was married to an unpredictable asswipe, so we didn't go any further than just hugs and cheek-pecking.

Well, we sit at the bar for a bit, making small talk and staring at each other. The tension is starting to get really hot, so I go behind the bar to get some water, and as I do, she proceeds to squeeze my ass and goose me. I drop my glass, and she runs up into the closet where they kept the unopened liquor, her big eyes full of mischief.

I follow in behind her, and she grabs the back of my head and pulls it to hers and we make out for ...hell I don't really know how long, except I was wobbly-kneed from lack of oxygen.

I said to her "...what about your husband?", and she tells me that she is leaving him and had filed for divorce.

Game on.

She locks the doors and turns off the outside lights, and after some more face-sucking, I give her some extra credit homework while she is sitting on the bar ...then we commence to getting it on the edge of the pool table (front and backside).

We never became anything more than friends-with-benefits, but that first night was extremely hot.

She was the first of a few bartenders I wound up bonking, for whatever reason.

 

Great Story

[Devius]

 

Originally posted by way2fat

You know the old saying- A bush in the hand.......

 

Actually I don't, being a non-native English speaker. How does the rest of the saying go then?

[way2fat]

 

Originally posted by Devius

Actually I don't, being a non-native English speaker. How does the rest of the saying go then?

 

Ah. The saying is actually: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Bush is also a slang term for The Good Stuff, although these days it seems that most of the bushes have been shaved. What's up with that anyway? I expect to be behind the times at my age but I just don't understand this fashion of women looking like they're 10 years old when they drop trou. Is it because of the low cut jeans?

[Devius]

 

Originally posted by way2fat

Ah. The saying is actually: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Bush is also a slang term for The Good Stuff, although these days it seems that most of the bushes have been shaved. What's up with that anyway? I expect to be behind the times at my age but I just don't understand this fashion of women looking like they're 10 years old when they drop trou. Is it because of the low cut jeans?

 

Ah, that one, right. Well, next time I'll just take advantage of whatever girls come across me.

Personally I like shaved girls. I don't really like the whole 1970s bush-thing. It's a lot nicer to give head to a girl when you don't need to wade through all that hair and pick your teeth afterwards.

[way2fat]

 

Originally posted by Devius

Ah, that one, right. Well, next time I'll just take advantage of whatever girls come across me.

Personally I like shaved girls. I don't really like the whole 1970s bush-thing. It's a lot nicer to give head to a girl when you don't need to wade through all that hair and pick your teeth afterwards.

 

Me, I think there is a happy medium, they look illegal when they're shaved.

[gtrbass]

Shaved, landing strip, big furry sasquatch... mehh. As long as there's no d*ck attached. There is something to be said for variety in life.

The one downside to shaved chicks is that it feels like sandpaper unless the just freshly bic'ed the nether region about 2 hours before.

[Cokeman]

 

Originally posted by Devius

It's a lot nicer to give head to a girl when you don't need to wade through all that hair and pick your teeth afterwards.

 

Or try to get that pube off the back of your tongue that's gagging you.

[Devius]

 

Originally posted by Cokeman

Or try to get that pube off the back of your tongue that's gagging you.

 

Hahhah, I hear ya. I hate that.

gtrbass, I don't think the sandpaper-issue is a big problem since most of the areas the tongue goes to aren't hairy anyway. It's just that if there IS hair there some of it WILL get into your mouth.

Well, suppose it's a matter of opinion. I like 'em shaved.

[cooterbrown]

 

Originally posted by Devius

Well, suppose it's a matter of opinion. I like 'em shaved.

 

+1

It's not the pre-pubescent fantasy thing...that's just wrong.

I just like the way bare skin looks.

You don't want her to raise her arm and see a patch of weeds, do you?

Or go swimming with her if she hasn't shaved her legs?

Same thing...I don't want to go down to do my chores and see a whisker biscuit poking out from behind her panties.

[way2fat]

 

Originally posted by cooterbrown

+1

It's not the pre-pubescent fantasy thing...that's just wrong.

I just like the way bare skin looks.

You don't want her to raise her arm and see a patch of weeds, do you?

Or go swimming with her if she hasn't shaved her legs?

Same thing...I don't want to go down to do my chores and see a whisker biscuit poking out from behind her panties.

 

I respectfully disagree, sir. A neatly trimmed goatee appears as a beacon, pointing the way to That Place To Which, Like Salmon, We Must Always Return.

[brikus]

 

Originally posted by way2fat

1. Me, I think there is a happy medium,

2. they look illegal when they're shaved.

 

1. I tend to believe it indeed...and I think it's called the landing strip.

2. you say it as if it was a bad thing.

[cooterbrown]

 

Originally posted by way2fat

I respectfully disagree, sir. A neatly trimmed goatee appears as a beacon, pointing the way to That Place To Which, Like Salmon, We Must Always Return.

 

I've been down there enough to not need a guide.