OT: HCFX usage of the variant slurs on the word 'gay'

[Snufkino]

I think people tend to paint in very broad brush strokes as soon as the term Political Correctness is used. Whether ot not PC "exists" is irrelevant. I try to live my life by simply not being a dick. In the context of this thread, I can say to close friends "Do you know how I know you're gay...?" etc and it's not offensive. It's when any term, specifically to do with race, sexuality, gender, religion, social standing, etc, becomes used as an insult motivated by hate it's an awful thing, because not only is it an insult, but because it shows how ignorant the person saying it really is.

[Fender&EHX4ever]

I'm not Mr. PC, by any means. There are extremes and shades of gray in this topic.

At one extreme, being anti-PC can be construed as being a closet-bigot who wants to defend their right to insult whomever they please, whether intentionally or unintentionally. They tend to have a large rod up their ass about personal freedom and like to let everyone know about it.

At the other extreme, being pro-PC can be construed as being a "wimp" or {censored} liberal who feels the need to protect every minority or weakling in the world from having hurt feelings. They tend to have a large rod up their ass about victimization and like to let everyone know about it.

I'm somewhere in the middle, but if forced to fall from the fence, I tend to think the guy with the large rod up his ass about personal freedom is a lot less enjoyable to be around than the other side of the fence. The extreme personal freedom types also tend to make really crappy music. :poke:

[Phil O'Keefe]

I know that the spelling "g-h-e-y" is a deliberate side-stepping from the word 'gay', but, I don't see any offense in its usage, as I view the slang word "ghey" as possessing the same negative connotations (lame, weak, sissy, effeminite) but removed from being directed at homosexuals.

I understand that for many, that's the intent... and I don't think I've ever banned anyone for the use of the word "ghey", but again, I'm not very comfortable with seeing it being used here.

I don't want to be Mr Censor, or the Word Police. I'd much prefer to have a board where everyone, as T3 put it, "conducts themselves maturely and with mutual respect, to the extent where all the language used is appropriate and doesn't give offense". However, someone out there is bound to be offended by something sooner or later, and when that happens, and they either "report" it, or I happen to see it, it lands in my lap for a decision...

...which is where the judgment calls come into play. Again, I'd like to be able to make a list (preferably, as short as possible) of absolute "do and don't" rules for the forum, but it's impossible to do so; at least not with a short list. As many things as I've seen over the years I've been moderating forums (my first mod gig was back in the 1980s), and even with other very experienced mods helping to make the list, we couldn't possibly come up with a definitive list that would cover every possible situation. So we made the rules here pretty broad and generalized, and left room for moderator interpretation.

But the basics are pretty simple, and they come back to the concept that T3 alluded to - mutual respect. Civility. Being "excellent" to your fellow humans. That doesn't mean you can't disagree about various subjects, but that when you do so, you refrain from personal attacks, name calling, and the use of terms that are likely to cause offense.

Personally, I also try not to take offense as much as possible. Yes, it bothers me when I see someone calling someone else a "retard", and I've explained why, and asked that people try not to use that term, but I don't normally temp ban people for it. I realize I am biased in that regard, and that most of the time, offense isn't really intended - at least towards me or my kids. So when I see it, I try not to take it personally, or let my personal bias influence my moderation decisions. However, when I get a complaint about it from someone else - and I'm not the only person here with developmentally delayed relatives - then I'm more inclined to take action on their behalf.

But words with a long history of use for discrimination or insult are usually not going to fly here; especially when, in my judgment, they are being used with that intent. So while I have let "ghey" slide from time to time - even though I really don't like it and would prefer that it is NEVER used - I'm not going to allow "fag" or "faggot" under any circumstances, beyond the discussions in this thread - which, BTW, have been EXCELLENT overall. I'm really proud of how well, how intelligently and thoughtfully and respectfully, you have all conducted yourselves in this thread - at least to the point where I left off reading it last night before crashing (most of this response was typed up last night - I'm just finishing it up this morning). If all threads went this well, and that mutual respect in discussions spread forum-wide, you guys wouldn't really need me to make those judgment calls...

Anyway, there's my long and rambling thoughts on the matter. I'm still open to further discussion, so feel free to comment back.

[MoreGuitars]

I had a French person call me "GI". I took it as a insult, not that I have anything against military people, in fact I generally like them. But the word was used to try to insult me, which was bad. I have also been called cracker before by black people. I did not like that, either.

My daughter goes to school which has a lot of Mexicans, and they constantly try to put her down with a number of insults.

It's not the word people use, it is the intent of the word. It definately goes both ways. I have a chinese friend, and you should hear him talk about japenese people. I thought they were all asians.

I'm not a big PC guy, but I also would not want to demean or minimize anyone.

[frankiej]

I had a French person call me "GI".

Thats what we call the soldiers that live near us. Its not an insult even if someone tries to use it as one .

[dkerwood]

For {censored}s and giggles? To make other people miserable? In highschool I insulted people so they'd be just as miserable as I. After all, misery loves company.

 

 

And why would we want to make others miserable? You mention "misery loves company." Doesn't that imply that by making others feel bad, you somehow would make yourself feel better (or at least intend to feel better)?

 

Like it or not, most human behavior comes down to a personal reward. If there is no reward (perceived or actual) for our behavior, we almost never behave in that way.

 

When I choose to sleep in, the reward of extra snoozing outweighs the reward of extra time getting ready for the day. When I choose to get up early, the reward of being ready (or at the very least, keeping away the consequences of being late) outweigh the reward of sleep.

 

If I antagonize someone, it is either to make ME feel better (ie, "misery loves company"), to make me look better (social pressure as above), or to bring others lower to make myself APPEAR better in contrast. All of the above is driven by a desire (albeit misplaced) to make myself better.

 

The key to stopping antagonistic behavior, therefore, lies in replacing the perceived rewards from bullying with actual rewards from proper behavior. If there are greater rewards from NOT bullying, the behavior will be modified to reflect that.

 

Of course, it is difficult to erase perceived rewards, as they are often deeply ingrained, and are often based more on conditioning than on logic. Parents teach belief systems from birth. Peers modify these belief systems, and other circumstances do their damage as well. Add years of repetition and support to these false perceptions, and sometimes these rewards can be nearly impossible to overcome.

 

In the end, though, we do not do ANYTHING unless we believe it will help us. Even in trying to avoid penalties, we are still trying to help ourselves.

[whoshotwhointhe]

i got banned for 3 days for saying FAG(in a obviously playful manner). what a {censored}ing joke. i hope their is 467 temp bands handed out in this thread

[frankiej]

And why would we want to make others miserable? You mention "misery loves company." Doesn't that imply that by making others feel bad, you somehow would make yourself feel better (or at least intend to feel better)?

 

 

Wasn't the feeling in my case. I just brought people down to my level, knocked them down a peg or two. Didn't make me feel any better really.

 

Everyone has their own reasons. Terrible yes, but its a fact of life.

 

And I love how the poll turned out.

[Phil O'Keefe]

i dont think fags are into bigmuffs but they might be interested in our swollen pickles

Edgy humor is edgy - and probably pushing it a bit too far...

[ninjaaron]

I find the general joviality of this forum to usually be quite gay indeed. This thread though, it strikes me as a bit queer in regards to it's relevance to guitar gear and the like. I believe this discussion is acting as though a dyke, holding back people's attention away from discussing more relevant gear-related topics. Quite frankly it's stressing me out a bit, so I think I'll go roll myself a fag and contemplate the meaning behind all of this. Anyhow, I shouldn't even be on the forums as I have so many trannies to sort through for all these pedals I have to build. Too-da-loo!

 

 

Post of the Year.

 

You, mama, are no [word that is similar to the N-word in spelling, that means miser, that I got a lockdown for the using the adjectival derivation thereof in a thread title.]

[HeartfeltDawn]

If we're going to get all squiffy over homosexual taunts, does that mean HC will also be going for zero tolerance on the far more common instances of sexism that go on in various forums?

[dkerwood]

 

Wasn't the feeling in my case. I just brought people down to my level, knocked them down a peg or two. Didn't make me feel any better really.

 

 

"Knocked them down a peg or two." A smug saying. That usually implies that the people didn't deserve to be as high as they were, and you just brought them down closer to where you thought they should be. Whether you're consciously aware of it or not, sounds like you got some satisfaction out of it. Am I right?