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I used to be a nice guy...

bikehorn

By bikehorn
in Amps

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anti-flag193 Newbie

anti-flag193

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I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

 

What happened to all the nice guys?

 

The answer is simple: you did.

 

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were {censored}ing treated you.

 

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

 

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

 

Well, once again, you did.

 

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

 

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

 

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

 

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

 

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

 

If you were five years younger.

 

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've {censored}ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull{censored} and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't {censored}ing want you, now.

 

Sincerely,

 

A Recovering Nice Guy

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Daniel Lioneye Newbie

Daniel Lioneye

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thanks, and wow

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were {censored}ing treated you.



i know this guy lol. he's my girlfriend's best friend.

i am almost positive that he is completely in love with her. i even told her that, and the next time she talked to him she kept bringing up how they are such good best friends etc

funny {censored}

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Daniel Kamerman Newbie

Daniel Kamerman

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I've never been like that with girls, every girl I meet that I'm just friends with, I always treat them like crap. Than we drift apart or the girl will end up liking me, and I'm not into it.

 

It's weird though, I'm an asshole at first when I meet girls, than as the relationship goes on, I become super nice to them. For some reason this scared a TON of my ex girlfriends.

 

Girls are afraid of nice guys, it's funny.

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Brick Newbie

Brick

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I've never been like that with girls, every girl I meet that I'm just friends with, I always treat them like crap. Than we drift apart or the girl will end up liking me, and I'm not into it.


It's weird though, I'm an asshole at first when I meet girls, than as the relationship goes on, I become super nice to them.
For some reason this scared a TON of my ex girlfriends.


Girls are afraid of nice guys, it's funny.



Exactly. This is how you get women :thu:
and this is I how I got my current girl friend :cop:

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rushtallica Newbie

rushtallica

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...until I figured out that girls were generally a fraud
:idea:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html


That post is pretty much spot on. I used to be that dude. Now I'm more self centered and derisive than ever before and guess what? Things have improved dramatically.
:thu:



Sadly, it's very true in many cases though too many guys are total @sses well beyond what it takes to get and keep a girl interested.

I've also learned that being a bit of an @ss mainly works for guys who at least look somewhat attractive to girls or else I'd have stuck with it when I tried the routine. :cop: Some of us are kinda' F'd regardless of what we do and so must turn to self-affection and Cinemax "After Dark" or even pay-for-a-lay, etc... :o

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Brick Newbie

Brick

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Sadly,
it's very true in many cases though too many guys are total @sses well beyond what it takes to get and keep a girl interested.

I've also learned that being a bit of an @ss mainly works for guys who at least look somewhat attractive to girls
or else I'd have stuck with it when I tried the routine.
:cop:
Some of us are kinda' F'd regardless of what we do and so must turn to self-affection and Cinemax "After Dark" or even pay-for-a-lay, etc...
:o



1.Ya, you can only be an ass long enough to draw them in, then, you stop being a dick, and treat them right.

2.Does this mean I'm attractive to teh wimminz??? :love:

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rushtallica Newbie

rushtallica

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1.Ya, you can only be an ass long enough to draw them in, then, you stop being a dick, and treat them right.


2.Does this mean I'm attractive to teh wimminz???
:love:



1) Even then I think you at least occasionally have to work a bit to keep women on their toes. ;)

2) Maybe, but please don't go all Eidelon on us, posting pics to find out if guys here think you are. :D

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Daniel Kamerman Newbie

Daniel Kamerman

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Exactly. This is how you get women
:thu:
and this is I how I got my current girl friend
:cop:



Yeah, in highschool I used to be the biggest {censored} with girls, always SUPER nice to them and I never got any. Than right when I graduated I said {censored} it and became a badass :cop:

and now women flock.

I wish I would of had more balls in highschool, there were so many girls I wanted to pork.

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Daniel Kamerman Newbie

Daniel Kamerman

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Yeah, it pretty much sucks ass being the nice guy. I'm still working on being an asshole, and I suck at it. Haven't gotten anything yet
:mad:

I've got lots of friends, though
:lol:



A girl is probably gonna have to do something {censored}ed up to you for you to start becoming an asshole.

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