Jump to content

The worst movies of all time


Super 8

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 95
  • Created
  • Last Reply
  • Members

I think all the worst films of all time came out this past summer. Man, we've rented some dogs.

 

The Village and I'll Sleep when I'm Dead- Just keep waiting, it'll get good, what, it's over?

 

National Treasure -Hey, let's make a brain dead version of the Divinci Code for morons...

 

Million Dollar Baby Actully a good film but should I drink poisen or just shoot myself now...

 

Zodiac Killer, Man, this just reeks B-movie. You can always tell when the sound is screwy from the start. Absolute crap.

 

Strange Bedfellows I love Crock Dundee and the guy from Castle, but wait, oh yeah, tell the producer that it's important to hire a writer. Dismal garbage.

 

The Pacifier Didn't watch and don't need to.

 

The Machinist The discription on the box sounded great. What a negative piece of boring sh#t.

 

Kinsey started really promising and then just went down the toilet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Originally posted by nat whilk II


Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

 

 

great title!

 

was it B-movie "good" or not even that?

 

I was let down by "Surf Nazis Must Die" (I mean even with the Troma aesthetic on)

 

and "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" -- good idea, great title, but just didn't make the B nut

 

You know, the "good as a bad movie" deal and the "just plain bad" deal

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Mars Attacks....


hmmm - that one's tough for me

I wanted to like it more than I did, same with "mystery Men"

but I'm not sure if they were actually bad, or I just didn't connect (sometimes, I find this is even different than "get it"...where you get that "I get what tey were going for, but it just didn't resonate with me" )


I put those in a "let down" category

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

rog951 sez:
Hahaha! Yeah, remember "Manos: Hands of Fate"??? What a piece of crap!


Let's no forget Pod People while we're at it. Arguably the best Season 3 MST3K episode though. Great stuff...

Horrible movies?

I'm going to nominate the whole gamut of "Dude Where's My American Pie" and everything that strives to be like that. Maybe the 1980s brat-pack films i grew up on were all on the same "Character X is poor/unpopular/ugly but wins over Character Y who is rich/popular/gorgeous" premise, but the modern 'teen movies' are horrifically predictable. The jokes, the humour, the drama- if anyone's REAL life is anything like this then we're all in a lot more trouble than i thought. Scuze me while i go heave till my ass inverts....

But since y'all have scratched my monkey on this (and also maybe because we're drinking beer at work today) i've got to say that there is a lot of really stupid {censored} coming out of Hollywood these days. I know that there's always been a lot of crap but the stuff that gains huge budgets these days wouldn't even make it as a B-movie in the 1980s:

Van Helsing
War Of The Worlds
Godzilla
Fantastic 4
Buttman Begins
Team America

Stuff i could go on and on with. High-end special effects but nothing else. Continuity errors, plots that have all sorts of leaks, one-dimensional characters, weak dialogue that's either 100% poor comic-relief or super-predictable (or both). 45-minute time capsules of where we go from the total ordinary person, all hell breaks loose and then everything's all better again with absolutely no consequences for any event or anyone's actions.

Absolutely lame.

I have seen a few movies that are good though, but that's for another thread ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Originally posted by phaeton


Van Helsing

 

 

Never saw that, but I was curious about it in that I was wondering how much was a leveraging of "Hellsing" the anime serial

 

ah, "blade"

(aka Snipes as Vampire Hunter D)

 

 

Admittedly, I enjoyed Team America - but maybe more as a Gerry Andersen send up than anything else

(It kind of reminded me of the "super Adventure Team" sendup of a decade ago -- that was one that I think got cancelled before it found its comic voice...maybe a little rough, but I think it was working out it's rhythm)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Never saw that, but I was curious about it in that I was wondering how much was a leveraging of "Hellsing" the anime serial

 

Not familiar with the Anime serial but iirc the "Van Helsing" is either old Dutch or old German vampire and werewolf legend (i.e. from medieval times). The Van Helsing movie is definately along these lines.

 

There is still far too much far-flung improbability in this film for my tastes, but lots of people have liked it, so i could just be obtuse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

In the anime - we have the "hellsing" org which is a vampire hunting org -- one of their prime weapons id "Alucard" - a vampire beholden to humans to hunt other vampires

(they throw in a little Bushido type honor/duty type action to give "alucard" ethics to justify it)

Like a lot of stuff in that style, it's a fantasy and maybe not very deep or particularly sophisticated in terms of plot/story structure...but I suppose it's a "romantic" type of form and so plays to that

the vampire huinting vampire theme seems to be sort of popular

One vampire deal I thought had some nice things about it was "Ultraviolet" -- I respect the 1 season serial finite arc, but I think a second series to complete the arc would have been nice
(and thank the Lordy they scrapped a USA version of that)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Anime

 

I'm not huge into the vampire stuff, but I'm starting to get back into Anime a little bit. I started to get really into it nearing 20 years ago- around the time of Akira, Grave of the Fireflies, something with a steam locomotive that travels through space, and i think the last thing i ended up seeing might have been Battle Angel (Gunmu) in the early to mid 90s. Seems like every Anime movie in those days started out with Hiroshima and Nagasaki getting blown into oblivion in 1945... heh..but i loved Anime for its free-form imaginativeness. Great stuff.

 

Lately, i'm noticing that a lot of Anime i'm looking into is hit or miss- either it's really good or really stupid, with really stupid (or at least really weird and unfollowable) being the majority. My guess is that it's much more popular these days so there is a river of it coming from Japan now, regardless of quality. In the 80s it was damn hard to get ahold of Anime but it seemed like it was all top-notch.

 

I, Robot

 

Bleh.. don't waste your time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I'm gonna make it to Zalem !


I don't know if it's more popular or not - maybe , but it's a little hard to gauge as there is a good deal of Manga tie in (kind of like the USA movie trends with the darker "adult comic" deal)
I think the export market might be bigger, or maybe just wider now


Oddly, I'm not really a "vampire guy" myself, but it does seem to fit the form well as you get a fantasy suspension of disbelief but some structure already defined (can make the world a little more accessible)...I think it's more a style on which to hang things (like the mech armor theme, the cyborg theme), sort of a "form"


The bombing's still live in that for sure (look at the orignal Godlizza) and even in stuff like "battle Angel" we see Gali succeed over the larger antagonists through proper spirit and execution


hmm, so you like more "realistic" type stuff (or at least more in keeping with an occidental palette)?

Maybe the "Golgo 13" series


finding a second "Akira" is going to be difficult - it's one of the major landmarks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

My favorite part about anime...

somehow the optimal configuartion for battle is the pubescent girl

I don't know why, but it is

there is this funny one "virgin fleet" wherein the Navy has a special program to harness the special energy of virgins for (protective, of course) military operation

----------------------------


heh..but i loved Anime for its free-form imaginativeness. Great stuff.


So I was talking with an American who can speak Japanese and I was asking her about the funny lyrics to a title song (The newer Bubblegum Crisis) and she mentioned how "oh it's just for the sound of it"
I think it sort of speaks to that free form aesthetic of which you speak (maybe composition over construction???)


If you get a chance, check out the first episode of "Hellsing" it may resonate or it may not, but I think some of the qualities you mention are there while still being accessible

How do you feel about "cowboy Beepop"?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Worst movie ever? My number one on the list:

Could be Barbara Streisand's "Nuts". By the way, I was forced to watch this under the theory of "if I watch this, the woman who convinced me to go may sleep with me." Stupid move. Stupid movie.

Bad beyond just happening to star the Great Satan herself, Babs plays a high priced hooker who happens one day to decapitate Leslie Neilson, a john. She's arrested and put on trial. The prosecution tries to have her committed and she fights to be found sane.

She is found to be sane. And is released. Rather than being imprisoned for life for murder.

Makes Battlefield Earth look like Battleship Potemkin.

Numbers 2 through 10 can be filled with any nine other Barbara Streisand movies. Michael Bay gets spots in the next 20.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Originally posted by angstwulf


Makes Battlefield Earth look like Battleship Potemkin.


.



ooh, that's clever :D


Babs plays a high priced hooker

She is found to be sane. And is released. Rather than being imprisoned for life for murder.



hmm

Babs a hig priced hooker
Babs sane

I think I would have trouble clearing the suspension of disbelief hurdle on that as well


Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

MorePaul sez:
hmm, so you like more "realistic" type stuff (or at least more in keeping with an occidental palette)?

Not necessarily.... I'm always open to new things and new ideas, and i've always dug pure fantasy. Although I accept the notion that I may be very naive on this and you could recommend some titles for me to watch that will toadilly blow my perspective of "pure fantasy". Lots of extremely creative folks in Japan, must be a result of those oppressive living and working conditions ;)

The stuff that I mark as "stupid" was a few movies I had seen. I can't remember the titles of them, unfortunately. All through the movie I had a distinct feeling that someone in the U.S. took the visual part of the movie and rewrote another story on top of it- something that they felt was more 'appropriate' for American audiences, but in effect they had completely dumbed it down and the overdubbed dialogue had nothing to do with the imagery. Haven't seen too many like this.

The 'unfollowable' stuff seems as if there is an issue with Japanese to English translation. Dialogue follows the story, it's just awkward in most places and nonsensical in others. I've seen this in subtitled stuff more often, but my gf and I watched a toon on Adult Swim over the weekend that was pretty hard to keep up on.

Most of it though, is pretty cool. The few shows i've seen in the last few months has sort of gotten me interested in drawing again. I used to draw in a loosely-defined Manga/Anime style many years ago but haven't in a long time. I could sometimes draw some cool stuff but never in colour and i couldn't really write any stories to go with it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

hmmm,

let me chew on it overnight

The ones mentioned are bit more "linear" and maybe follow a straight narrative

While not straight anime, but uses live action and stop animation that is a trip and a half is

"Tetsuo : the Iron Man"
(make sure it's not "Tetsuo : Bodyhammer")


It may be a little hard to watch, but it's pretty much a mind blower

Lots of extremely creative folks in Japan, must be a result of those oppressive living and working conditions

Ya know, it's not an unknow analysis of anime/manga...big release
I think there's some validity to it

Now I'm interested to see if I can come up with good recommendations fo ya!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...